Unteach Yourself What the World Taught You. Listen to God.
I talked to God and I asked about what He's called me to do. You know... These past few months God has been showing me that accepting my destiny is accepting myself. I mean, maybe that sounds obvious, but think about it for a moment.
Deep down in my core is the woman that God has been calling me to be since the day I came into existence. These prayers I've been praying about overcoming shyness, getting out there to serve Him and glorify Him, asking Him to prepare my heart for things to come in my journey to glorify His name, all the experiences I've been having since college started... All of it is not really about what it looks like on the surface. It's about matters of the heart deep within. God's been calling out to that place in the deepest recesses of myself. He knows it's there. He knows because He created me! So day by day, each event He sends me through causes another layer to shed until finally the day will come when I will be His true creation. The day will come when I will be the creation that He had in mind for His Kingdom- not this world.
I wasn't destined for this world. None of us were... That's why we always hunger for a passion. We always hunger to serve something- to love something. I went through that for a season (high school). It wasn't the best... but I discovered that my passion was/is God. My passion was/is the Church. I think that was the first time I shut the world's opinion out. And it wasn't even me, it was all God.
Now, reflecting on things, I find myself in a similar situation. God has brought me to another point in my life where I need to choose whether I will listen to the world or listen to His voice.
Honestly, I'm not shy. I'm quiet. I'm an introvert.
The world tells me that I'm shy. That I'm afraid to talk to people. That every silence must be filled.
God's shown me that I like meeting people. I like talking to them. I love socializing and relating. God tells me it's okay to be quiet. It's okay to listen rather than speak all the time... God tells me that I am different, and I am loved.
I'm not afraid to talk to people. I love it, actually! I just do things differently than society tells me I should. I do one-on-one time. In groups, I don't speak much; I listen. That doesn't mean I'm not there or that I'm not interested or that I'm shy. I'm still actively participating.
I could go on for so long...
Basically, I'm realizing that God is helping me break free from the stigma placed on introverts. I'm different, but I'm not saying that in the sense that I'm more special that anyone else. I mean we're all special. But we're all different. The world tries to shove us into this cookie cutter mold. But that's not Truth. We're all different and it's okay. None of us are exactly the same and it was meant to be that way. God loves it that way! He's the most skilled artist- of course He meant it to be that way! No one is to be praised over the other. We're all bad. We're all on equal ground.
So... This is me picking up where I left off before Christmas break: answering those desires God has put in my heart to learn things like how to play guitar so I can praise Him, cook so I can feed people, paint in His presence to display His beauty to others, spend time in nature with Him...
I'm going to do all the things I want to do in His name, for the glory of His name because there is no cookie cutter mold that can hold me back from Him.
Ha, I laugh at the time in high school when I actually wanted a label like "swimmer", or "artist" instead of what I thought I had: "smart girl". Psshhhh. You can keep all that, world. The only name I want is the one He will write on stone for me... The one that only He and I know. The one that confirms my rightful place as an adopted daughter of God, a lost princess come home <3