i remember it well.
i asked you not to go.
but all i heard
was the ѕcreaмιng silence of the wind.
and
just like the wind will always b l o w through the leaves
i will always remember this day
as our last
lost
chance
You’re right. They would. But I don’t trust either of them, and I don’t plan on telling you to do anything. All I mean is that I’ll tell you the truth.
…Really?
You remember me for who I am? You don’t think I’m a… that I’m a mutt?
"Because you were the first. The first face this face saw. And you’re seared onto my hearts, Amelia Pond. You always will be. I’m running to you, and Rory, before you fade from me."
It was the hijacking. This was what was left of Falco, she understood - constantly teetering between understanding what was real and what wasn’t, who was friend and who was foe. This is what Peeta would struggle with. This is what all of them would struggle with. She had to know it was possible to be better, again. She had to.
He laughed a bit, though it was harsh. Katniss, that's exactly what they would say. The Capitol. Here in 13. ..But.... I know.. I know I can.
You know. Funnily enough... they didn't really touch any memories I have of you. Everything I have of you isn't.. it isn't tainted. Like the rest. ..Perhaps they overlooked it. Made a mistake. I'm.. I'm glad, though.
I'm-- He wasn't fine. He wasn't okay. Alright. He was questioning whether they were to be trusted. He was feeling like he could trust the Capitol more over them. He didn't know who to trust. He shook his head quickly and kept his voice low. I'm not. No. I don't think I can trust them anymore. Any of them. Here. I don't know what to do.
We’ll get them back. We’ll get them all back. I promise, okay? I won’t rest until we do. Those are our people in there, and we’ll save all of them. I’ll make sure of it.
Hearing the news was a setback in his treatment. His trust in 13 dwindled back down to almost nothing. They suddenly no better than the Capitol in his eyes. Good. We have to. If... if we don't.. The longer they're hijacked, the longer it'll take to.... treat.. heal them.
They.. They wh-- they dropped bombs? Onto the Capitol?
No one.... Everyone.. They have everyone. They don't deserve it. No one does. We have to.. save all of them. As if save is such a hard word to say. He's still trying to wrap his mind around the fact that the Capitol was bombed. Like they were bombed. Like Twelve was bombed.
Yes, they haven’t really learned that whole manners thing. Freud used to call it the Id, I mean if you believe that old stuff. She closed her mouth to stop from rambling about psychology. Which also means she can see you for you and not for… for what they did to you. She just sees you as Falco. She smiled sadly, nodding in agreement. I plan on keeping it that way. She deserves that innocence.
I've never head of that. The Id.. What an odd name... He trailed off, thinking about it. It had to mean something. It sounded Latin. He shook his head; better look it up, he thought to himself. Then he sighed in relief. Good. Elda would never know the monster he'd become. ..Thank you.
Three knocks on his door and he knew it was Lavinia. She never failed to knock three times and three times only. "Yeah, gimme a moment!" He wiped his hands onto a kitchen towel, having just made some ginger cookies.
"Falco, c'mon! I gotta show you something!"
He took a coat that was hanging and put it on, the fur around the hood soft against his neck. As soon as he opened the door, Lavinia grabbed his hand and pulled him out. "Come oooon! We're gonna miss it!"
"Well, hold on! Let me close the door, at least!"
He did, and then he was pulled down the hall. "Lav, where the hell are you taking me??"
"You'll see, just come on!"
Usually it was him pulling her along, dragging her to places. The winter air nipped at his nose as he shoved his hands into his pockets. Christ it was freezing. He hoped he didn't have to stay out too long.
Lavinia lead them to the Main Square, where people gathered underneath the heaters they had placed especially for winter, all swaying to music that Falco could barely hear-- but he knew it was Christmas music.
Lavinia seemed to have a huge grin on her face. She was up to something, still pulling on his arm. It was only until they got closer when Falco realized that they were singing. And now he remembered something she said to him a few days ago. Something about.... Caroling.
"Ohhh, no no no no. I'm not going to--"
"Ohhh, yes yes yes yes! Yes you are, Falco! You said you would!"
"What!? I did not!"
"Yes you did! Remember on Friday when I asked you if you'd go caroling with me?"
"......No."
"Well, I did and you agreed to. C'mon, they're about to start Auld Lang Syne!"
Reluctantly, Falco followed through with this unknown promise he made and stood with the crowd and Lavinia, starting to sing and bring joy and good tidings to all.
Elda was a special girl, she always made the situation feel at ease, it seemed that this was no different. She helped say what Castilla couldn’t, given their tricky past. She knows plenty, she knows how to get what she wants for one. She also hasn’t been told to ignore that feeling of unease because it’s polite to do so. If she doesn’t like someone, she let’s us know. And she likes you. Castilla was determined to get her point across, smiling gently at him.
Isn't that-- that getting what they want-- isn't that like.... default setting on babies? He swore it was. Well.. yeah. I gather she hasn't been told because she wouldn't know any better.... 'Cause she's a baby. But in that ignorance, she liked him. She saw him as good. Which meant.. well, it meant he was good. In her eyes, he was good. So maybe he could be the good man she saw him as. ..Ignorance is bliss.
Castilla’s hand went out to rest on Falco’s shoulder but she stopped short, remembering how he had reacted last time they’d been alone together. As if sensing her hesitation, Elda did it for her, hitting Falco with her tiny fist. No, she knows better than anyone. She doesn’t know your past or what you’ve done, she only feels like your a good person to be around.
It was words like that he needed to hear. Words like that that boosted his confidence in himself, that he could heal. It was then that Falco decided he'd be around for the kid. If Castilla let him, that is. I guess.. you're right. But-- Castilla, she's a baby. Technically.. Technically she doesn't know better. He smiled a bit more, though this time it wasn't sad.
You're someone good. Good. Was he good? He remembered wanting to kill her at one point. Remembered screaming at her. His heart sank at the memory. He needed those to go away. Falco shook his head, a sad smile forming upon his lips. She doesn't know any better.
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