It's hard to stand tall.

Ludwg Beilschmdit | 18 | Aerial Dancer - Dependent RP blog for Circustalia

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“I came here to help you, but if you’d rather I hadn’t, I will leave you alone again.”

Ludwig shook his head quickly, a flush rising up in his cheeks as he realized the extent of his mistake, “No, I’m sorry. Thank you for your offer. I have no right to tell you to leave.”

[awesome-bad-witch-blog]

fallingwhenifly:

Unfortunately, or perhaps, fortunately, for her, Ludwig was extremely ticklish. The second her hands touched his sides, he gasped in surprise the top few boxes tumbling to the floor as he attempted to escape her tickling fingers. Cheeks flushed, he couldn’t help but laugh as he attempted to bat her hands away, the boxes now forgotten.

Julchen couldn’t help but snicker at her success as the boxes fell and Ludwig laughed. “Hahah! I found you weakness!” She exclaimed and continued to tickle the man mercilessly. 

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“No-! I’m not tickl-” He tried to push her away again while at the same time trying to avoid accidentally hitting her with a flying elbow or knee. Such was the struggle of being ticklish and 6'1", “Mercy! I beg for mercy-”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“I don’t mind keeping you company.”

“You’re positive….? Really, it’s alright if you don’t. I’m fine on my own,” Ludwig frowned, brows drawing together. In all honesty, he was craving human contact since for the short time he’d been here he’d felt nothing but loneliness, but he didn’t wish to bother the other circus members. Perhaps, this was what happened when you left everything you’d ever known. Still. There was no point in moping. He’d made his bed, and now he’d have to lie in it.

[balloon-intheclouds-blog]

fallingwhenifly:

“That’s a noble aspiration to have,” Ludwig agreed, pausing briefly to think, “You did say you make balloons? I’m sure those bring smiles to people’s faces.”

Paco perked up slightly. “Sí! I sell balloons and also balloon animals! They are very cute, the children love them a lot! It is a very fun job, I am happy to have it.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig couldn't help but admire a man like that. To be happy with so little? A blessing or a curse, he didn't know, but it was a pleasant break from the usual sort that walked this earth, "That's good of you."

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

"Are you feeling smart yet?"

Ludwig froze at the familiar sound of Gilbert’s voice, his heart catching in his throat. As much as he’d been longing to see his brother once again, this was exactly what he’d been attempting to escape from… Why was Gilbert here, and how in the world had he even found him?

Slowly, he swallowed, his hands already becoming damp with cold sweat. Surely he wasn’t here to bring him back. Surely he wasn't… upset? But Ludwig knew better. He knew exactly how he’d left, and exactly what his brother would be feeling. God, this was all wrong–

“How–” His voice cracked, “I mean– Bruder?”

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

fallingwhenifly:

death-atmywheels:

“…Guess who also signed the lifelong contract..” Gilbert gave a pitiful cheer.

Ludwig opened his mouth to respond then closed it again, eyebrows drawing together as he did, “How could you–? why–? I don’t– Bruder?”

“Hey now, you have zero room to call me out on my impulsive decisions.” He said, not entirely calm, Gilbert shot him a warning look. “You- you decided, after one argument, that you wanted to sign your life away to a circus. I had no idea where you were.”

His voice was beginning to raise- it hadn’t gone so far as to turn cold yet, Ludwig was safe for now- and there was a bit of a wild look in Gilbert’s eyes. “Irresponsible move, you don’t just go off places without telling people, that doesn’t stop being a thing now that you’re ‘all grown up’!”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig knew it was he who was at fault. He knew Gilbert who could've done anything with that will of his set to it shouldn't have to deal with this. With him. He knew it.

"I'm sorry, I know what I did was stupid! I know I'm not good for anything, and I'm sorry you got stuck with me! I'm sorry you had to throw away your entire life for your pathetic excuse for a younger brother! I'm sorry our parents died! I'm sorry!"

Ludwig stopped. Swallowed.

"I know."

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

"Are you feeling smart yet?"

Ludwig froze at the familiar sound of Gilbert’s voice, his heart catching in his throat. As much as he’d been longing to see his brother once again, this was exactly what he’d been attempting to escape from… Why was Gilbert here, and how in the world had he even found him?

Slowly, he swallowed, his hands already becoming damp with cold sweat. Surely he wasn’t here to bring him back. Surely he wasn't… upset? But Ludwig knew better. He knew exactly how he’d left, and exactly what his brother would be feeling. God, this was all wrong–

“How–” His voice cracked, “I mean– Bruder?”

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

fallingwhenifly:

death-atmywheels:

“You shouldn’t have gone.” Gilbert replied stubbornly, petulantly, before remembering himself. Get it together, Beilschmidt; he had to be more mature. “But, well, I’m kinda glad you'renot dead in a ditch or smething, so I guess we have that.”

“Yes. We have that…” Ludwig repeated slowly, concerned as his brother’s reaction. Well, there seemed to be no point in dawdling for much longer; no, not when there were things to be done. But curiosity got the best of him.

“How did you find me?”

“I’m just that awesome.” He shrugged, letting his special brand of blasé smugness wash over him as he said this. It had, in fact, taken several hours of frantic searching, but Gilbert would rather die than intentionally let on that he was scared to Ludwig. 

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig wasn’t willing to press the subject, but he figured it had taken at least a good bit of effort to find him. Nevertheless he couldn’t help but wonder what Gilbert planned to do about this… Ludwig frowned, “Why did you come if you knew I’d signed a lifetime contract?”

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

“Well I didn’t know /that/ until I got here.” He said. “Even I’m not quite that good. ‘Sides, I.. didn’t wanna leave things on such a bad note.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“So you’ll leave,” It was less of a question and more of a statement. A part of Ludwig wanted to tell him to stay, but what point would there be? He had signed the paper.

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

“….no.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

It took him a good ten seconds to process but once he did, Ludwig was

shook.

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

“…Guess who also signed the lifelong contract..” Gilbert gave a pitiful cheer.

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig opened his mouth to respond then closed it again, eyebrows drawing together as he did, "How could you--? why--? I don't-- Bruder?"

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“Why’re you sitting here all by yourself?”

“Er…” Frankly, he didn’t really have a proper reason. He just assumed the others shouldn’t be bothered by his presence. No sense in making everyone feel awkward when he could just get away with himself feeling awkward… right? “…No reason in particular.”

[niasucusercy-blog]

“Uhh, are you alright there? You look like you’re in pain,” Abel pointed out, frown ever present upon his features. Pursing his lips, lightly, he took a deep breath before deciding to speak up again, “cigarette?”

He offered out the almost empty pack of cigarettes, after taking one out himself, making a mental note to get another pack soon.

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig shook his head, clearing his throat awkwardly, “I’m fine. No thank you.” He wondered if he should make an attempt to amend his pained appearance, but decided against it. Unfortunately, it was doubtful he’d be able to.

[niasucusercy-blog]

With a huff, Abel pocketed the cigarettes, lighting his own, “suit yourself.”

He took a long drag, then let a small quirk upturn his lips; the other was quite amusing to watch. Abel usually liked to watch people squirm, however, this time round the amusement didn’t last.

“Hm, I’m Abel,” he offered, looking away as he added, “I’m an illusionist for the circus…what about you?”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig, on the other hand, was not a fan of being watched when he was nervous. It didn’t help that the other man was nearly his equal in height, and his air of casual disinterest was a little unnerving.

At the introduction, he started momentarily before gathering himself and speaking, “A pleasure to meet you, Abel. I’m– Er, I’m Ludwig. I dance. I– I mean, I’m an aerial dancer.”

[niasucusercy-blog]

“Wouldn’t have put you as the type to dance,” Abel commented, eyebrow raised as he kept his gaze from the other. He pondered for a moment longer, then allowed another light huff to pass his lips as he realised he’d already finished another cigarette. He really had to start rationing them.

“But we all have something we’re good at right,” he pointed out, “guess I should never judge someone by appearance.” An odd thing for Abel to admit, but upon his first glance at the other, dancer certainly was not what he would have assumed from the other.

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“It’s not like ballet or anything like it, really,” Ludwig explained, “It’s with aerial silks. They hang from the ceiling– it’s like… it’s a little bit similar to what trapeze artists do.“

Once he finished his explanation, Ludwig stopped, realizing that it was very likely that Abel didn’t actually care what he did and had been asking just to be polite. He cleared his throat, “Er, sorry. What sort of illusions do you do?”

[niasucusercy-blog]

“Hm, I assumed as much,” a light breath, as a smirk flashed across his lips briefly, “you don’t look like the twinkle toes kind of person.” Of course, Abel then just had to add, “just don’t fall and die, Viktor won’t be happy about it.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig found his own lips ghosting up into something like a half smile for a brief moment, "I believe it's in my best interest to avoid falling and dying, so I'll try my best. And no," Ludwig shook his head, "No... I couldn't do ballet."

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“I don’t mind keeping you company.”

“You’re positive….? Really, it’s alright if you don’t. I’m fine on my own,” Ludwig frowned, brows drawing together. In all honesty, he was craving human contact since for the short time he’d been here he’d felt nothing but loneliness, but he didn’t wish to bother the other circus members. Perhaps, this was what happened when you left everything you’d ever known. Still. There was no point in moping. He’d made his bed, and now he’d have to lie in it.

[balloon-intheclouds-blog]

fallingwhenifly:

“That’s good of you. It’s always nice to see a smiling face, I’m sure, especially if people aren’t in the happiest place,” Ludwig gestured around them, “Places like this.”

Paco again nodded. “Sí! That is why I try to keep smiling, for those who are here because they have no other choice.” He gave Ludwig a bright smile, contrasted by the seriousness in his eyes. “If I can make someone smile, even just for a moment, then I have done my job.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

"That's a noble aspiration to have," Ludwig agreed, pausing briefly to think, "You did say you make balloons? I'm sure those bring smiles to people's faces."

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“I don’t mind keeping you company.”

“You’re positive….? Really, it’s alright if you don’t. I’m fine on my own,” Ludwig frowned, brows drawing together. In all honesty, he was craving human contact since for the short time he’d been here he’d felt nothing but loneliness, but he didn’t wish to bother the other circus members. Perhaps, this was what happened when you left everything you’d ever known. Still. There was no point in moping. He’d made his bed, and now he’d have to lie in it.

[balloon-intheclouds-blog]

fallingwhenifly:

Ludwig paused as he considered this response. He had assumed because of their powers it would’ve made survival easier, but this made more sense. Difference was always frowned upon by society. That much was for certain.

“That’s a shame that this is the only place, but at least…. at least there’s somewhere?”

Paco nodded with a bit of a melancholic smile. “Sí… at least they have a place to go. Though if only it were a kinder place. But, that is why I try to be friends with them all! Everyone here deserves a bit of kindness, sí? Especially the ones who have been here many years. I can tell– they hurt inside.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

"That's good of you. It's always nice to see a smiling face, I'm sure, especially if people aren't in the happiest place," Ludwig gestured around them, "Places like this."

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“Why’re you sitting here all by yourself?”

“Er…” Frankly, he didn’t really have a proper reason. He just assumed the others shouldn’t be bothered by his presence. No sense in making everyone feel awkward when he could just get away with himself feeling awkward… right? “…No reason in particular.”

[niasucusercy-blog]

“Uhh, are you alright there? You look like you’re in pain,” Abel pointed out, frown ever present upon his features. Pursing his lips, lightly, he took a deep breath before deciding to speak up again, “cigarette?”

He offered out the almost empty pack of cigarettes, after taking one out himself, making a mental note to get another pack soon.

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig shook his head, clearing his throat awkwardly, “I’m fine. No thank you.” He wondered if he should make an attempt to amend his pained appearance, but decided against it. Unfortunately, it was doubtful he’d be able to.

[niasucusercy-blog]

With a huff, Abel pocketed the cigarettes, lighting his own, “suit yourself.”

He took a long drag, then let a small quirk upturn his lips; the other was quite amusing to watch. Abel usually liked to watch people squirm, however, this time round the amusement didn’t last.

“Hm, I’m Abel,” he offered, looking away as he added, “I’m an illusionist for the circus…what about you?”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig, on the other hand, was not a fan of being watched when he was nervous. It didn’t help that the other man was nearly his equal in height, and his air of casual disinterest was a little unnerving.

At the introduction, he started momentarily before gathering himself and speaking, “A pleasure to meet you, Abel. I’m– Er, I’m Ludwig. I dance. I– I mean, I’m an aerial dancer.”

[niasucusercy-blog]

“Wouldn’t have put you as the type to dance,” Abel commented, eyebrow raised as he kept his gaze from the other. He pondered for a moment longer, then allowed another light huff to pass his lips as he realised he’d already finished another cigarette. He really had to start rationing them.

“But we all have something we’re good at right,” he pointed out, “guess I should never judge someone by appearance.” An odd thing for Abel to admit, but upon his first glance at the other, dancer certainly was not what he would have assumed from the other.

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“It’s not like ballet or anything like it, really,” Ludwig explained, “It’s with aerial silks. They hang from the ceiling– it’s like… it’s a little bit similar to what trapeze artists do.“

Once he finished his explanation, Ludwig stopped, realizing that it was very likely that Abel didn’t actually care what he did and had been asking just to be polite. He cleared his throat, "Er, sorry. What sort of illusions do you do?”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“I don’t mind keeping you company.”

“You’re positive….? Really, it’s alright if you don’t. I’m fine on my own,” Ludwig frowned, brows drawing together. In all honesty, he was craving human contact since for the short time he’d been here he’d felt nothing but loneliness, but he didn’t wish to bother the other circus members. Perhaps, this was what happened when you left everything you’d ever known. Still. There was no point in moping. He’d made his bed, and now he’d have to lie in it.

[balloon-intheclouds-blog]

fallingwhenifly:

Ludwig, who had always been one for taking things apart and picking through the pieces in an attempt to understand, could sympathize with Paco, but personally he would be continuing to wonder. Perhaps if he could find a way to tactfully ask how and why he would.

“That’s reasonable. It does make me wonder why they joined the circus of all things.”

“Perhaps it is because there is no where else for them to go.” Paco’s expression softened slightly. “They are not like the rest of us– I cannot begin to imagine how hard it must be to live like that, in a world that is already so judgmental. This might be the only place they can exist as they are and not fear being turned away.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig paused as he considered this response. He had assumed because of their powers it would've made survival easier, but this made more sense. Difference was always frowned upon by society. That much was for certain.

"That's a shame that this is the only place, but at least.... at least there's somewhere?"

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

"Are you feeling smart yet?"

Ludwig froze at the familiar sound of Gilbert’s voice, his heart catching in his throat. As much as he’d been longing to see his brother once again, this was exactly what he’d been attempting to escape from… Why was Gilbert here, and how in the world had he even found him?

Slowly, he swallowed, his hands already becoming damp with cold sweat. Surely he wasn’t here to bring him back. Surely he wasn't… upset? But Ludwig knew better. He knew exactly how he’d left, and exactly what his brother would be feeling. God, this was all wrong–

“How–” His voice cracked, “I mean– Bruder?”

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

fallingwhenifly:

death-atmywheels:

“You shouldn’t have gone.” Gilbert replied stubbornly, petulantly, before remembering himself. Get it together, Beilschmidt; he had to be more mature. “But, well, I’m kinda glad you'renot dead in a ditch or smething, so I guess we have that.”

“Yes. We have that…” Ludwig repeated slowly, concerned as his brother’s reaction. Well, there seemed to be no point in dawdling for much longer; no, not when there were things to be done. But curiosity got the best of him.

“How did you find me?”

“I’m just that awesome.” He shrugged, letting his special brand of blasé smugness wash over him as he said this. It had, in fact, taken several hours of frantic searching, but Gilbert would rather die than intentionally let on that he was scared to Ludwig. 

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig wasn’t willing to press the subject, but he figured it had taken at least a good bit of effort to find him. Nevertheless he couldn’t help but wonder what Gilbert planned to do about this… Ludwig frowned, “Why did you come if you knew I’d signed a lifetime contract?”

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

“Well I didn’t know /that/ until I got here.” He said. “Even I’m not quite that good. ‘Sides, I.. didn’t wanna leave things on such a bad note.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“So you’ll leave,” It was less of a question and more of a statement. A part of Ludwig wanted to tell him to stay, but what point would there be? He had signed the paper.

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

“….no.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

It took him a good ten seconds to process but once he did, Ludwig was

shook.

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

@fallingwhenifly WOW

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Smth must be done!!!!! It's inhumane-- this level of angst!!!!

[magicalinspo]

                       mm…   —   i’m not sure what hurt WORSE.

          being abandoned ( again )   or   that [ YOU ] abandoned me

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

"Are you feeling smart yet?"

Ludwig froze at the familiar sound of Gilbert’s voice, his heart catching in his throat. As much as he’d been longing to see his brother once again, this was exactly what he’d been attempting to escape from… Why was Gilbert here, and how in the world had he even found him?

Slowly, he swallowed, his hands already becoming damp with cold sweat. Surely he wasn’t here to bring him back. Surely he wasn't… upset? But Ludwig knew better. He knew exactly how he’d left, and exactly what his brother would be feeling. God, this was all wrong–

“How–” His voice cracked, “I mean– Bruder?”

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

fallingwhenifly:

death-atmywheels:

“You shouldn’t have gone.” Gilbert replied stubbornly, petulantly, before remembering himself. Get it together, Beilschmidt; he had to be more mature. “But, well, I’m kinda glad you'renot dead in a ditch or smething, so I guess we have that.”

“Yes. We have that…” Ludwig repeated slowly, concerned as his brother’s reaction. Well, there seemed to be no point in dawdling for much longer; no, not when there were things to be done. But curiosity got the best of him.

“How did you find me?”

“I’m just that awesome.” He shrugged, letting his special brand of blasé smugness wash over him as he said this. It had, in fact, taken several hours of frantic searching, but Gilbert would rather die than intentionally let on that he was scared to Ludwig. 

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig wasn’t willing to press the subject, but he figured it had taken at least a good bit of effort to find him. Nevertheless he couldn’t help but wonder what Gilbert planned to do about this… Ludwig frowned, “Why did you come if you knew I’d signed a lifetime contract?”

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

“Well I didn’t know /that/ until I got here.” He said. “Even I’m not quite that good. ‘Sides, I.. didn’t wanna leave things on such a bad note.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

"So you'll leave," It was less of a question and more of a statement. A part of Ludwig wanted to tell him to stay, but what point would there be? He had signed the paper.

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“I don’t mind keeping you company.”

“You’re positive….? Really, it’s alright if you don’t. I’m fine on my own,” Ludwig frowned, brows drawing together. In all honesty, he was craving human contact since for the short time he’d been here he’d felt nothing but loneliness, but he didn’t wish to bother the other circus members. Perhaps, this was what happened when you left everything you’d ever known. Still. There was no point in moping. He’d made his bed, and now he’d have to lie in it.

[balloon-intheclouds-blog]

fallingwhenifly:

“Oh– Of course,” Ludwig didn’t think he really doubted that Paco wasn’t telling the truth, but it was a little alarming to hear things like this spoken of so casually. He’d expected oddities when joining something like the circus, but demons? Tiger boys? Well, this was slightly more than he’d expected.

“That’s interesting,” Very intelligent response, Beilschmidt. He cleared his throat, attempting a second go, “Er, so, how did that come to be? As in– How did they become like that? Or are they just… born?”

Paco gave a little shrug. “I do not know, really! I have never thought to ask. It is simply who they are! And well…” He laughed softly and rubbed the back of his neck. “Even if they did explain, I do not think I would be able to completely understand. It is easier for me to just accept that that is how it is instead of trying to understand why it is.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig, who had always been one for taking things apart and picking through the pieces in an attempt to understand, could sympathize with Paco, but personally he would be continuing to wonder. Perhaps if he could find a way to tactfully ask how and why he would.

"That's reasonable. It does make me wonder why they joined the circus of all things."

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

"Are you feeling smart yet?"

Ludwig froze at the familiar sound of Gilbert’s voice, his heart catching in his throat. As much as he’d been longing to see his brother once again, this was exactly what he’d been attempting to escape from… Why was Gilbert here, and how in the world had he even found him?

Slowly, he swallowed, his hands already becoming damp with cold sweat. Surely he wasn’t here to bring him back. Surely he wasn't… upset? But Ludwig knew better. He knew exactly how he’d left, and exactly what his brother would be feeling. God, this was all wrong–

“How–” His voice cracked, “I mean– Bruder?”

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

fallingwhenifly:

death-atmywheels:

“You shouldn’t have gone.” Gilbert replied stubbornly, petulantly, before remembering himself. Get it together, Beilschmidt; he had to be more mature. “But, well, I’m kinda glad you'renot dead in a ditch or smething, so I guess we have that.”

“Yes. We have that…” Ludwig repeated slowly, concerned as his brother’s reaction. Well, there seemed to be no point in dawdling for much longer; no, not when there were things to be done. But curiosity got the best of him.

“How did you find me?”

“I’m just that awesome.” He shrugged, letting his special brand of blasé smugness wash over him as he said this. It had, in fact, taken several hours of frantic searching, but Gilbert would rather die than intentionally let on that he was scared to Ludwig. 

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig wasn't willing to press the subject, but he figured it had taken at least a good bit of effort to find him. Nevertheless he couldn't help but wonder what Gilbert planned to do about this... Ludwig frowned, "Why did you come if you knew I'd signed a lifetime contract?"

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

“I don’t mind keeping you company.”

“You’re positive….? Really, it’s alright if you don’t. I’m fine on my own,” Ludwig frowned, brows drawing together. In all honesty, he was craving human contact since for the short time he’d been here he’d felt nothing but loneliness, but he didn’t wish to bother the other circus members. Perhaps, this was what happened when you left everything you’d ever known. Still. There was no point in moping. He’d made his bed, and now he’d have to lie in it.

[balloon-intheclouds-blog]

fallingwhenifly:

Ludwig seemed a bit apprehensive after hearing Francisco’s response. A man who punished unfairly was one matter. One who appeared to possess magical abilities was another. There had to be a plausible explanation for this. Magic was not… real. Mostly. Probably.

“…Not the only one?”

Paco nodded, seeming to grow quite fascinated as he spoke. “Sí! There are many here who possess abilities that are hard to understand! My good friend, Julchen– she can talk to spirits and summon creatures! And one of our fire dancers creates fire from thin air. At least two performers I have met transform into some demonic form, and I even saw a little boy turn into a tiger!” He chuckled slightly. “It is all a bit of a shock at first, but they are all very wonderful people. Do not be afraid of their differences. They are some of the strongest minded here.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

"Oh-- Of course," Ludwig didn't think he really doubted that Paco wasn't telling the truth, but it was a little alarming to hear things like this spoken of so casually. He'd expected oddities when joining something like the circus, but demons? Tiger boys? Well, this was slightly more than he'd expected.

"That's interesting," Very intelligent response, Beilschmidt. He cleared his throat, attempting a second go, "Er, so, how did that come to be? As in-- How did they become like that? Or are they just... born?"

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

"Are you feeling smart yet?"

Ludwig froze at the familiar sound of Gilbert’s voice, his heart catching in his throat. As much as he’d been longing to see his brother once again, this was exactly what he’d been attempting to escape from… Why was Gilbert here, and how in the world had he even found him?

Slowly, he swallowed, his hands already becoming damp with cold sweat. Surely he wasn’t here to bring him back. Surely he wasn't… upset? But Ludwig knew better. He knew exactly how he’d left, and exactly what his brother would be feeling. God, this was all wrong–

“How–” His voice cracked, “I mean– Bruder?”

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

fallingwhenifly:

death-atmywheels:

“Not.. out of the way?” He offered. “I’m pretty sure that’s the opposite of leaving.”

“I know that much,” Ludwig huffed, crossing his arms over his chest, “Bruder, you’re too attached. You were never going to go off on your own as long as I was there.”

“Ludwig-”Gilbert paused, gesturing in utter disbelief. “You were a kid and my brother, I was not gonna toss you off at some care home or on the street. I can easily get my life started up in a year or so, when you go to college or move out or whatever. I do plan, you know. But now you’ve just signed your whole life away. Don’t you care about yourself at all?”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

Ludwig swallowed, expression betraying the uncertainty mounting in his chest as their conversation continued. Had he made a mistake? But surely… He bit his lip, suddenly abiding the eyes of his older brother, “I… Yes, maybe… Er– How is that relevant?”

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

Gilbert had to stifle a sigh, his eyes closing out of sheer exasperation at his brother. “You, like, actually can’t ever leave now you’ve joined here.” He explained. “Now you’re never gonna get to accomplish all the stuff you wanted to do, which is kinda stupid if you ask me.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

He had been referring to the question of whether he cared about himself, but really, that was an awkward topic of conversation. Ludwig shook his head, hands fumbling at the edge of his shirt as he tugged it down for lack of better things to do, “I know. You shouldn’t have come…”

[uberstei-deactivated20201115]

“You shouldn’t have gone.” Gilbert replied stubbornly, petulantly, before remembering himself. Get it together, Beilschmidt; he had to be more mature. “But, well, I’m kinda glad you'renot dead in a ditch or something, so I guess we have that.”

[fallingwhenifly-blog]

"Yes. We have that..." Ludwig repeated slowly, concerned as his brother's reaction. Well, there seemed to be no point in dawdling for much longer; no, not when there were things to be done. But curiosity got the best of him.

"How did you find me?"