astraea

i need a rebrand

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

If you mess up a social interaction you can say "Failed Experiment" and move on

[huffy-the-bicycle-slayer]

Cannot stress enough that you say this in your head

[longnuts]

Lord if you're real give me 900 dollars . Or 200. anything

[angelnumber27]

Hey bitches. Let’s fuck Monday hard

[angelnumber27]

Hey bitches. Let’s fuck Tuesday hard

[angelnumber27]

Celibacy Wednesday

[angelnumber27]

Hey bitches. Let’s fuck Thursday hard

[beemovieerotica]

[socialistexan]

[libraford]

"If tampons should be free, then so should my diabetes meds."

Yes? Yes they should be? Your life-saving medication that you need in order to live for a condition you were born with should be given to you at no cost?

[bougiebutchbinch]

ranking the best things I have heard surgeons say mid-surgery:

1. "Five second rule!" while scrubbed, after dropping a sterile scalpel on the floor (no they did NOT pick it up again but I swear everyone's buttholes puckered)

2. (spoken during the closing of a particularly long and difficult case) "Nurse - my tunes." :heavy metal starts blasting:

3. Gently to a fretful patient, pre-anaesthesia: "It's going to be okay. I promise, I've dealt with worse." As soon as the patient is unconscious: "This is literally the worst thing I've ever seen."

4. [okay this one was a med student] "Wowwww, that's so gross!!" Reg: "Please remember that [patient] is awake for this procedure." Student to patient: "Oh my god. I am so sorry, that was really unprofessional - " Patient, cheerfully, also engrossed with what's happening inside them on the screen: "Nah - it's, like, super gross, right?"

5. [another procedure where the patient couldn't be put under GA] Patient: *starts singing country roads midway through the procedure* Surgeon: *shrugs and joins in with surprisingly good harmony*

[adonischildsupportcase]

[feralratbitesu]

this grave keeper edible aint shit

[feralratbitesu]

who gors there ,

[nothorses]

Trump is going to lift those tariffs btw. Like we're gonna feel it and it'll suck, and then he will lift them, and things will improve, and people won't realize that things were still better before he put them in place at all, and he will claim credit for making everything better even though things are still worse than when he started. Because of him. Because he made them worse.

So you gotta pinky promise me you're not gonna let yourself or anyone you know fall for that shit.

[ozcarr]

Obsessed with tiktoks of high school girls doing Steve Harvey cosplay. My favorite genre of video tbh

[klapollo]

like the fact that PrEP and PEP just kinda became a normal part of life one day without fanfare is something I think about a lot. Thousands of people died gruesome horrible deaths and now when I go on Reddit or ride the subway I see dinky little ads like "start this medication today so you don't contract/spread HIV! and if you get accidentally exposed there's a different medication for that to keep yourself from contracting!" and it's just an everyday thing. all those people who died fought for it to be this way.

[4ngelofpurgatory-deactivated202]

holy shit i just learned something beautiful

[4ngelofpurgatory-deactivated202]

/|\ ^._.^ /|\

BAT :D

[omtai]

just learned people associate em dashes with chat gpt. Girl fuck you. You can pry em dashes from my cold dead hands. One of us is gonna have to stop using em— and it’s not gonna be me!

[kim-jong-chill]

i need feminism because when jesus does a magic trick it’s a goddamn miracle but when a woman does a magic trick she gets burned at the stake

[mattheuphonium-blog]

fabulous 

[tockthewatchdog-deactivated2020]

i mean they did also kill jesus. that was a pretty significant thing that happened. like i understand where you’re coming from here but they very much did kill jesus.

[counterpunches]

#HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY

[beemovieerotica]

the internet these days is insane because every 3-5 days you see an honest to god neuron-rewiring video produced by some rando with too much free time, and it's so fucking good that you know would have been its own entire meme for MONTHS in 2005. but we're so saturated with phds in breaking bad editing so you can't go into work like "hey did you see The Bear No Rush video game?" because nobody has any idea what you're talking about. back in my day we watched 1 blurry video of a guy doing the Numa Numa Dance and it sustained all of society for an entire year.

[nongunktional]

god i never told you guys but a couple weeks ago at work i heard a guy say, and i closely paraphrase, "So I was out with my partner--republicans hate it when i say that. My heterosexual partner Jessica--" and i was straight up crying before he finished his sentence. fully diegetic convergent linguistic evolution live in the workplace