accepting that you’re objectively weird & owning it is infinitely better than being constantly desperate to appear normal to people who don’t even matter to you

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@fantabulouscherrypie
accepting that you’re objectively weird & owning it is infinitely better than being constantly desperate to appear normal to people who don’t even matter to you
it turns out that making big positive changes in your life is great but it also forces you to reckon with the years you spent not really living and makes you feel like you're carrying the corpse of a 20 year old girl on your back
Guillermo Del Toro on AI "art"
SDCC 2025: Lucas Museum Of Narrative Art
New art from The JOJO World. Cue the jokes about Johnny not being able to leave his boyfriend home.
Odysseus Finds Out You His Stunning Wife Killed a Suitor…
(And He’s a Little Too Into It)
A/n: I wrote this on my break, so it is not very good. But I can see the man being turned on by this.
It was supposed to be a normal evening.
The great hall was calm, the children were (miraculously) asleep, and Odysseus was exactly where he wanted to be—beside his beautiful, stunning, absolutely perfect wife.
You sat on your shared bed, brushing your hair, the candlelight making your eyes glow.
Odysseus, ever the devoted husband, was stretched out beside you, watching you with an expression of pure admiration.
And then—you casually dropped a sentence that nearly made him choke.
“Oh, by the way, I killed one of the suitors while you were gone.”
Silence.
Odysseus blinked.
You, completely unbothered, kept brushing your hair.
“You… what?”
You shrugged. “One of them got too close. Tried to take what wasn’t his. Hera gave me one of your arrows, and I made sure he didn’t get back up.”
Odysseus stared.
He should have been angry.
Should have been shocked, furious that you had been forced to do that.
But instead.
Instead, something entirely different sparked in his chest.
Something primal.
Something deeply, deeply appreciative.
He sat up, eyes darkening as he looked at you.
“My wife, the warrior.”
You arched a delicate brow. “You sound a little too pleased by this.”
Odysseus grinned. “How could I not be? My stunning, brilliant wife took a god-given weapon and sent a man to the underworld for touching what was hers?”
He leaned in, voice dropping. “How could I not find that unbearably attractive?”
You rolled your eyes, heat creeping up your neck for a moment. “You are insufferable.”
“And you, my love, are magnificent.”
His hands traced down your arms, slow and deliberate. Your husband enjoying feeling you shiver at his touch.
“Tell me more,” he murmured, lips brushing against your jaw. “Exactly how did you do it?”
You sighed dramatically. “Are you truly getting aroused by the idea of me killing a man?”
Odysseus smirked, pressing a kiss to your shoulder. “It’s not my fault my wife is the most dangerous, desirable woman in Ithaca.”
You shook your head, laughing softly. “You are impossible.”
“And you are mine.”
His hands slid lower until you felt him slip under your gown. His fingers ran across your stomach then slowly grasped your breast giving it a squeeze.
“Hera truly blessed me today.” He whispered as his lips trailed across the nape of your neck pulling you close.
You sighed again, your lips twitching as you suppressed a moan from slipping past your lips as Odysseus continue to run his fingers down your stomach.
And by the time the candles burned out, Odysseus had made sure you knew exactly how much he loved his deadly, stunning wife.
hii
Could you do a odysseus nsfw alphabet too? 👉👈 thank u
in one sitting, by the way.
Odysseus NSFW Alphabet ♡
Template by @/the-coldest-goodbye.
A = Aftercare (what they’re like after sex)
King of Ithaca and Aftercare. He always has everything you might need prepared before he actually suggests having sex and always makes sure he tends to you afterwards.
B = Body part (their favorite body part of theirs and also their partner’s)
His? Probably his arms and chest. He likes feeling your body against his as he embraces you tightly.
Yours? First of all, how dare you expect him to pick favorites??? Your eyes. He could just sit there, looking into them for years. Days, even.
C = Cum (anything to do with cum, basically)
Very thick. Usually takes a solid minute or two with each orgasm just to get it all out.
D = Dirty secret (pretty self explanatory, a dirty secret of theirs)
He cannot keep anything that smells like you on him because he will get hard if he smells it one too many times. It was incredibly embarrassing to explain and he will get all red if you tease him about it.
E = Experience (how experienced are they? do they know what they’re doing?)
He's experienced with you, if it makes sense. You two have learned everything together. He knows your body perfectly.
F = Favorite position (this goes without saying)
Anything that means you're close and he gets to look into your eyes is good in his book, but I think his favorite would just be the good old missionary, honestly.
G = Goofy (are they more serious in the moment? are they humorous? etc.)
He's a mix of both in the most loving, affectionate way. He's not completely serious, but not completely goofy, either. It's like the golden middle.
H = Hair (how well groomed are they? does the carpet match the drapes? etc.)
Pretty well groomed, trimmed relatively often to keep it nice and short for you. Much darker than his actual hair, but not dark enough to be considered black.
I = Intimacy (how are they during the moment? the romantic aspect)
All in. Fully. This man is locked in, focused on you entirely. The world could be on fire, but as long as you want him focused on you, he might as well burn alive just to keep making love to you.
J = Jack off (masturbation headcanon)
He (600) strikes me as one of those men who feels guilty about jacking off because he subconsciously thinks about it as cheating, so I'm gonna say he probably doesn't really do that.
K = Kink (one or more of their kinks)
Vanilla motherfucker. I see no kinks in this man. His only kink is his love for his partner.
L = Location (favorite places to do the do)
He's a sap. He loves your wedding bed. There's no better place than your bed.
M = Motivation (what turns them on, gets them going)
You exist. That's it. That's all he needs.
N = No (something they wouldn’t do, turn offs)
Threesomes, cucking, basically anything that involves another person joining. This man is strictly monogamous, you cannot convince him to even consider another person joining you.
Also, anything that means you're in pain or even the slightest bit of discomfort is out. Not ifs or buts, if it can do anything you won't like, he will die before he tries it.
O = Oral (preference in giving or receiving, skill, etc.)
Definitely prefers giving. He's decent with it, not some incredible master of the craft, but he'll keep you very satisfied. He doesn't mind receiving, but he'll always insist on returning the favor.
P = Pace (are they fast and rough? slow and sensual? etc.)
Slow and sensual all the way. And even when he is fast, it's not so much rough as it is just... him being needy when he gets closer to orgasm.
Q = Quickie (their opinions on quickies, how often, etc.)
He's not exactly opposed, but he does prefer regular sex. But if this is the best he can get when you two sneak away for a moment, so be it.
R = Risk (are they game to experiment? do they take risks? etc.)
Listen. I'm not saying he would do absolutely anything you asked him to aside from the very few things I mentioned in the N section of the alphabet... But he would do absolutely anything you asked him to aside from the very few things I mentioned in the N section of the alphabet.
S = Stamina (how many rounds can they go for? how long do they last?)
Solid three to four rounds on a good day, but he usually settles on one or two slower, more loving rounds. Can he last longer? Yeah, absolutely. But he prefers quality over quantity.
T = Toys (do they own toys? do they use them? on a partner or themselves?)
I dunno, I don't see it. Maybe a blindfold to make you feel everything stronger, but I feel lik even that would be reaching.
U = Unfair (how much they like to tease)
He's a service top or a bottom. "I don't tease, I just please" type of guy.
V = Volume (how loud they are, what sounds they make, etc.)
He's not very loud during the act itself, he mostly lets out some low grunts and groans. When he cums, however, he lets out a much louder, slightly high pitched moan. It takes you off guard the first time.
W = Wild card (a random headcanon for the character)
If he was capable of getting pregnant, Telemachus would have a sibling for each year you two are married. Just because he loves you so damn much and he would love to just make an army of mini-you.
I didn't know what to put here so you get mpreg.
X = X-ray (let’s see what’s going on under those clothes)
WHY DO I KEEP DOING THIS TO MYSELF I'M TOO ASEXUAL TO DESCRIBE SO MANY DICKS
Around five and a half inches when hard, relatively thick. Has a mole very close to the tip.
Y = Yearning (how high is their sex drive?)
I mean... The Odyssey says something about how Athena asked Helios to make the night longer for him and Penelope when they re-united, right? So that should answer this one.
... I need to hurry up with my reading list and finally make it through the Odyssey.
Z = Zzz (how quickly they fall asleep afterwards)
Somehow, he's in complete sync with you. The moment you fall asleep, he falls asleep. So it depends on how quickly you fall asleep afterwards.
oooh can i have an odysseus one shot? with a reader who kinda really fawns over him (i’m obsessed with him rn)
୨୧┇Paring: Odysseus x reader
୨୧┇note: finding the banners for this actually humbled me
────୨ৎ──── ────୨ৎ──── ───
You had been scrubbing the deck for what felt like hours, trying desperately to keep your mind occupied. It was hard to focus when Odysseus, the clever and infuriatingly handsome captain, was right there leaning against the mast, carefully barking out orders to the crew. The sun glinted off of his bronze skin and his dark chestnut curls. Every time he moved his commanding presence drew your attention, even though you were trying very hard not to stare.
Unfortunately for you, Odysseus was no fool.
PLEASE DO NOT SCROLL PAST A POST OF STARVING CHILDREN ...
A mother’s worst nightmare is watching her children wither away from severe malnutrition and extreme hunger. Inside our fragile tent, my children, Qamar and Omar—including my 3-month-old baby—struggle with agonizing skin rashes and harsh hunger every single day. Since my husband suffered a head injury, I have become the sole provider, but my hands are completely tied. We have no backup plan and no other escape; this campaign is our last hope for survival. Any dollar can secure milk, bread, vegetables, and the vital medical treatment for my little ones' skin.
My name is Samar. I write from a fragile tent in Gaza, a mother who loves her two little children with all her heart. My husband is severely
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joseph: hermit purple..!! we have to take a picture of dio..!!!!
dio in his stupid mansion:
I heard it was that time of year again.
Atla nation, come get y'all's juice
we would be mass producing airbenders
He’s calm but not weak.
Im enjoying the longevity of tumblrs recontextualization style of humor. a seemingly innocuous post followed by like "posts that a gnome would make" or like "are you a phone"
More from the notes:
I love this post
The horse thinks as it scratches an itch
OKAYYY i just saw that post about how jojos initiate intimacy, so i would like to ask you how bucci gang would initiate intimacy, since you have done giorno already you don't have to do him again, I'm very curious about others
How Bucci Gang initiates intimacy
characters: bucciarati, abbacchio, mista, narancia, and fugo
tags: nsfw, established relationship, gn! reader, teasing, reader is also a stand user, characters are always depicted 18+
a/n: if anyone's curious and hasn't read it yet, i did a joestar version of this and you can find it on my masterlist or here !! thanks for the request and enjoy :)
Wheres my toy or i'll get mad now
Bark for me dog
bumisu 60s au meme