Aragorn is saying āpotatoā and āwait thatās my horseā

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Aragorn is saying āpotatoā and āwait thatās my horseā
Find Me - Alex/Yassen
Alex dragged a hand lazily through his hair and shifted uncomfortably on his towel. The sun was gloriously hot but sand seemed to have stuck itself in a layer across most of his skin and his cheap sunglasses were keeping out hardly any of the sunlight.
āYou alright, Alex?ā Jack Starbright was happily relaxing on a blue towel, shades pushed up as she peered at Alex, eyes narrowed with concern.
āIām a bit tired. I think Iām going to go back to the room.ā
āOkay, Alex. Iāll be along soon. Donāt wanna tan too much. Donāt you get into any trouble on the walk back to the hotel.ā
Alex could tell it was a joke but beneath that there was a genuine layer of concern. Sheād booked this holiday after Alexās latest mission. Heād returned from a rather dangerous assignment in Japan battered, bruised, with a fractured rib and two broken fingers. Alex could tell that the holiday was both for his rest and for Jackās comfort.
āIāll see you later,ā Alex said, picking up his towel, tugging on his top, and trudging back in the direction of the hotel.
A Kiss With a Fist is Better Than None - Alex/Yassen
The first blow winds him and leaves him off kilter, perfectly targeted at his still healing ribs. The next is paired with a hooked foot that sends him tumbling to the floor, choking on his own breath and hurting all over.
"Sloppy. Do you submit?"
He doesn't waste time with a response, lashing out with a kick that meets nothing but air and ends with his ankle in a vice like grip.
"I will not break this if you submit to me."
With a yank that makes something inside his ankle crunch he pulls free and scrambles to his feet. He regrets it almost instantly when his ankle barely takes his weight.
"Not dislocated, I think, but still very foolish."
"You are an arsehole."
When Yassen strikes it is with dancer-like grace - Ā he has always been and probably always will be more powerful, more elegant, more deadly, than Alex - and the swift kick to the stomach ends their pathetically short bout.
Yassen doesnāt help him back up, leaving him to drag himself over to the water bottles and gulp desperately.
āYou fight like it is a game, little Alexi, not as though your life depends on it.ā
āIāve managed alright so far.ā
Yassenās tchh makes it clear what he thinks of that.
āYou are no longer a child, you cannot rely on people underestimating you as they have so far. You must be better, faster, stronger.ā
It burns his pride to know that Yassen is, as always, right. Itās the flush of anger sending adrenaline through his blood that robs him of the ability to think his actions through and sends him howling across the room to press against Yassenās side.
āMaybe I have other talents I can use to get myself out of scrapes.ā
āAnd what would they be, little Alexi?ā
Screwing up every bit of courage he slipped a hand round Yassenās neck and reeled him in. Yassen was strong enough and stubborn enough that Alex couldnāt have moved him a millimetre if he hadnāt wanted to go, but the Russian came easily.
The kiss was tame, lips pressed together and barely moving. it shouldnāt have set Alexās heart racing but it did and when Yassen gently pushed him away after a a few moments his head was spinning.
āThat is another thing you should work on, little one, if you want it to save your life.ā
Then Yassen was gone, leaving Alex aching and confused.
Relive 1999 In Ten Minutes
IāveĀ officiallyĀ seen my life flash before my eyes.Ā
HIS DAD IS A DITTO
I AM NOT OKAY *SOBS*
My heart
Viviabisvisbibi OMGā¦ā¦ā¦ MY HEART
Witchcraft
Fuuuuuuck
beauty comes in all shapes and sizes
Iām pretty sure this is like the 5th time Iāve reblogged this because omg
The reason depression is literally the worst is not because of the soul-crushing sadness or the wanting to kill yourself or the self harm or all the violent and extreme emotions that come with dealing with this particular mental handicap. Itās the long and painful stretches of days of weeks of months where youāre not really depressed, but you kind of just exist. The time you spend sitting in bed aimlessly browsing the Internet instead of finishing that video game you thought was fun or going out with a friend to see a movie or getting up and doing your laundry. You exist, and itās okay, but youāre not really sure why. Youāre not doing anything productive when you have all the time in the world to be doing it. You feel like youāre missing out on life, but at the same time you feel that it doesnāt really matter. Thatās the worst kind of depression.
june 2015
also june 2016
turns out ⦠also june 2017
things english speakers know, but donāt know we know.
WOAH WHAT?
No, but this gets better.
This is from a J.R.R. Tolkien essay in which he remembers the moment he fell in love with philology, linguistics, and the intricacies of language, because as a kid he had said āa green great dragonā and had been corrected to āa great green dragonā, but the person correcting him (his tutor? I forget, itās been a while since Iāve read this one, maybe since my qualifying exams) couldnāt explain why.
So he wanted to know why.
So he began studying languages and looking for patterns and word-stories. And then inventing and playing with them.
Destiel Fics too Good to Put Down
I am creating a Master List of all the fanfics I have liked and reblogged. Ā I am trying to put them in some kind of order, but stories tend to span categories. As a heads up, most of these fics are going to be NC-17 and longer than 50k words (Last updated: 8/20/16)
High School/College/Teacher:
Blackboard (76k words):Ā Castiel Novak is a college English teacher, in a rather inappropriate relationship with Dean Winchester, who happens to be one of his students. But although their arrangement is one that works perfectly for the both of them, Castiel is starting to worry that maybe keeping it impersonal will be harder than he thought.
Hear You Me (82k words):Ā Castiel is a college graduate stuck in two dead-end, part-time jobs. Oh, and heās Deaf. Enter Dean Winchester. A chance encounter with the man may have the power to change Castielās life.
A Little Patience (288k words): Dean starts up a friends with benefits situation with his best friend Cas. What he finds is Cas is a lot kinkier then he ever expectedā¦and feelings creep up on you when you least expect it.
Timelord TechnologyĀ (18k words): Dean decides to be a little rebellious and skip school when he gets a tummy ache. Also, punk!cas may see this as the perfect opportunity to come along for the ride.
Smoke in the Mirror (52k words):Ā It begins with the flier hung in the library: art model needed for thesis project, will pay. Castiel figures itās an easy way to make some extra money, but modeling for Dean Winchester ends up complicating his life far beyond anything he could have imagined.
The Spirit of Lawrence HighĀ (70k words):Ā Dean Winchester is funny, gorgeous, brave, loyal, and a breath of fresh air in Castiel Shurleyās life. Dean Winchester is also a ghost haunting Castielās school, but nobodyās perfect, right?
Strippers/Prostitution/Porn Related Industry:
Cas Erotica, the Dean of Iniquity (55k words): Dean Winchester owns his own business, works on cars, lives in a mansion⦠and is also a highly successful pornography mogul looking for his next project. Cas Novak is a bookworm that got into porn while trying to pay off student loans, and never left.
Chasing Cars (45k words):Ā After an awkward accidental encounter at a local strip club, Castiel discovers his college roommate, Dean, has a secret career as a stripper, and their relationship begins to change and a bond begins to form.
Have Love, Will Travel (94k words): Castiel Novak is a reclusive writer with a childhood so tragic itās left him terrified to leave his homeāuntil his overbearing brother, Gabriel, drags him out for a night on the town full of booze and strip clubs, and he encounters Dean Winchester, a mesmerizing and mysterious stripper with secrets of his own.
Heaven & Hell Escort Service (123k words):Ā Castiel Novak is a high class escort. Dean Winchester may have accidentally told his father he has a long-term boyfriend to bring along to Samās wedding. Desperate times call for desperate measures⦠an escort service might not be what he wants, but it could be exactly what he needs.
The Prank that Filled the Spank Bank (41k words): Castiel records audio pornography. Not professionally, or anything - he writes it and then reads it out, and uploads it free to the world. Itās not Deanās usual type of porn - at all - but thereās something about Castielās gravelly, yet somehow smooth and beautiful voice that keeps him hooked
Santorum will Pry my Porn from my Cold Dead Hands (41k words):Ā President Santorum bans all pornography, and Dean decides to start his very own prohibition racket. Unfortunately, the only person he can find to āperformā is Castiel.
Smooth Operator!Verse (18k words): Cas is a phone sex operator and Dean is a first time caller.
Unsolicited (56k words):Ā In which Dean Winchester gets an unsolicited dick pic from an unknown sender which is both totally not disappointing in that itās a really nice dick pic, and incredibly disappointing in that itās clearly a downloaded picture of his favorite porn star. Ā Thereās absolutely no way itās actually this porn star sending it to him, right? Ā Right?
Dom/Sub/BDSM:
All for One, One for All Verse (116k words): Dean Winchester and the identical twins Castiel and Jimmy Novak have aā¦rather uniqueā¦relationship. Stories in this series trace the development of that relationship at different points in time.
Carry On (148k words): When Sam gets into Stanford, Dean needs a bigger paycheck than Bobbyās garage can give him. Luckily, he knows a guyĀ (Itās no longer online, but message me for a copy if you like)Ā
A Change in Scene (7k words): When Dean goes over to see his Dom on Christmas Eve, he isnāt expecting Cas to play naughty Santa, and neither of them is expecting how it turns out for them.
I Wanna Get Outside (of Me) (142k words): Ā Dean is a novice in the dom/sub world and is asked by his employer, as a desperate last resort, to be a sub for his recluse of a brother, Castiel. Castiel is a mess who hasnāt stepped out of his home in literally seven years.Ā Enter Dean, whoās not a very traditional submissive, to try his hand at subbing for the hermit.
ABO Dynamics:
Arranged (18k words):Ā Dean Winchester is the omega chosen to marry Castielās son. The arranged marriage is as awkward and lackluster has Castiel expected it would be. Ā What he didnāt expect was what would develop between himself and his new son-in-law.
Eden of the Hunterlands Verse (21k words):Ā Dean Winchester, crown omega prince of the Hunterlands, finds out that his father has arranged for him to mate a stranger. Prince Castiel, Angel of Eden, is everything that Dean hates, until he isnāt at all.
For Science! (21k words):Ā Selected transcripts and supporting materials from Dr. Castiel Williams and Dean Winchesterās seminal study on physiological and psychological sexual response by gender designation.
Get Knocked Down, Get Back Up (36k words): With an over-sensitive sense of smell, omega Dean Winchester finds the scent of most potential mates to be, frankly, nauseating. Enter alpha Castiel, who smells fracken *perfect* but has problems of his own.
A Hole in the WorldĀ (293k words): Dean is dealing with the death of his father, the social stigma and objectification of being an out Omega, and the lingering aftermath of a long-ago crime. LOTS OF ANGST IN THIS. BE WARNED.
Limerence (47k words): The Emergency Department is the last place Dean expected to find his mate, but over the stink of blood he picks up something else, something sweet, and it hooks into him. Pulls. Something stirs at the base of his skull as the most primitive part of Dean - the part thatās alpha - wakes up and takes note.
Rainbow Fences (21k words):Ā Dean identifies as Alpha. With regular therapy sessions and hormone treatments heās well on his way to being comfortable in his skin now. Castiel, his Alpha mate, has never allowed himself to think there was any alternative than the nuclear family heād been raised on. Together they meet somewhere in the middle of traditional and perfect.
Real Slick Dean (28k words): Thereās a new alpha enhancer drug āRutterā on the streets that gets used at āexclusive partiesā for the worst purposes. Detective Castiel is making a big bust on the drug, when he gets shot up with an overdose of the drug.Ā
A Story for Every Corner (22k words):Ā Deanās a late bloomer. When he presents as an omega, everyone is surprised, and everything changes. Only a few months into omegahood, Dean decides to book it. A couple of truck rides and a state later, Deanās in Apple Springs, Colorado at a bed & breakfast called The Snoozing Squirrel.
Typecast (75k words): Up-and-coming movie actor Castiel Novak knows heāll never be taken seriously if all he ever plays is betas, and as an alpha he certainly doesnāt think itās a wise career choice to play an omega. However, when heās offered the omega role in a gay romance and learns that the much more famous (and his crush) Dean Winchester is playing the alpha, Cas decides maybe itās time to take a risk. But when they meet on day one, Cas isnāt sure what to make of Deanās scent.
Unwritten (76k words):Ā A spontaneous scent bond is the stuff of romance novels: an alpha and an omega meet by chance, and they happen to be so compatible that their pheromones are perfectly aligned, drawing them irresistibly together to mate and bond for life. But when Castiel comes to Deanās store for a signing, they feel an inexplicable pull toward each other. A bond that shouldnāt even be possible for two alphas.
Royalty/Regency/Historical:
An Assembly Such as ThisĀ (151k words): Dean and Charlie have a happy marriage under a shared lie, they are best friends who desire another. Dean is lonely for a companionā¦until he secures an invitation to a monthly mens-only soiree.
The Dreamer and the Mystic (110k words):Ā When Dean Winchesterās eighteenth birthday arrived, he was expected to choose his Queen-To-Be; instead he found himself falling for a mysterious stranger with eyes like stars. Eleven years later, Dean journeys into ancient lands that have long since faded into legend and lore, to once again find the eyes that had bewitched him.
The Highest Bidder (10k words): Traveling alone was always a danger, but Castiel never dreamed heād be set upon by bandits, his belongings stolen, his very person in danger of being sold into slavery. A chance rescuer offers Castiel the chance at freedomā¦but things donāt go anything like Castiel might have hoped as his knight in shining armor proves to be rather on the tarnished side.
Witches/Angels/Creatures:
An Accidental Incubus (40k words):Ā On a hunt gone wrong, Dean finds himself cursed to be an incubus. While Sam and Charlie rush to find a cure before the change is permanent, Castiel decides to become Deanās āofferingā when the hunter begins to deteriorate under the effects of the change.
Addicted to You (120k words):Ā Dean is a Warlock. A very, very drunk Warlock. Oh, and a horny Warlock. Hey, he knows how to summon a succubus! He should totally do that. Hell yeah! Guaranteed hot sex! Except that spellcasting while drunk is a VERY BAD IDEA. Heās just too drunk to remember that.
AgainĀ (14k words): Cas travels back in time and meets a much younger Dean Winchester that doesnāt suffer from as many sexual hang ups as present day!dean.
Amnesia (77k words): In a world where angels face oppression and discrimination from humans, Castiel wakes in a hospital bed with no recollection of the past decade of his life, or why it is he chose to fall in love with, much less marry a human.
Carnival Oasis Verse (36k wordsā¦so far): Castiel is a being that feeds on sin. Lucky for him, Dean has plenty of sin to spare. AKA:Ā The adventures of Dean Winchester and his sin eating boyfriend.
Castielās Dragon (38k words):Ā Born without legs, Castiel was destined to be a dragon rider. Heād always dreamed of how it would be, and when the day for his pairing came, he knew heād met the perfect dragon.
Clipped and Unbound (50k words):Ā Castiel is a slave widely regarded as unbreakable and unruly. Dean Winchester is a billionaire ending a five year long search to rescue him. Theyāll both learn that peace can be the hardest thing in the world to find.
Come Again? (17k words): The unintended application of an ancient nuptial blessing leaves Cas and Dean at each othersā mercy, having bestowed upon them the ability to both experience and influence the otherās sexual sensations for the space of ten days.
Cursed or Not (115k words):Ā While experimenting with magic when he was a kid, Sam accidentally cursed Dean into a familiar. Ā Now he wears an amulet constantly to stop the transformationā¦.until Witch!Cas offers him a deal.
The Grace Archer (31k words): The Grace Archer lives in the stories and myths told to small children or by bards in the village taverns, but Dean knows the truth. He knows that Castiel is a reclusive, disgraced cupid and a freaking badass with a bowā¦.and he must find him, again.
Hardcorewings.com (17k words): When Castiel loses his job, he resorts to making wing fetish videos to make cash. Dean really likes them.
Hunting for Daylight (60k words):Ā Dean is what you would call a late bloomer. Late in his shift, and late in figuring out his sexuality. His body is showing signs of resolving the former and the new boy at school that comes crashing into his life head on is intent on fixing the latter. Also, everyone can turn into animals.Ā
I Dream of Deanie (71k words): Castiel takes a dose of djinn toxin and gets to experience first hand what heās desperately wanted. After that, he wonāt stop til he gets to have the same experience with the real Dean Winchester.
The Mirror (24k words): When Dean touches a strange mirror, heās whisked away to one alternate reality after another and it doesnāt take him long to realize the universe is trying to tell him something.
Order 243 (21k words): Dean is a guardian angel. Every generation, heās assigned a mortal to protect; he does so from the day they are born until the day they die. His latest charge is a baby named Castiel Novak. From the first, Dean knows there is something different about Castiel, but he tries not to think about it too much. After all, he has a duty to perform: protect Castiel when he needs to be protected and otherwise to do nothing to interfere with the course of Castielās life.
Our Solid State (17k words): This is the story of Dean Winchester and Castielās married life together both before and after the android, Castiel, acquires an upgrade to make him look human.
Out of the Deep (488k words):Ā Stay away from the light-beds. Stay in the deep.Ā It is the first thing hatchlings are taught the moment their fans unfurl and they can swim without their parents to buoy them along. It is the first rule, the first law. Castiel should have listened better.
The Path of Fireflies (63k words):Ā After his humanity is restored, Dean wakes up in bed with Castiel, a wedding ring, and no memory of the past twelve years.
The Request (36k words): When Sam Winchester prays for his brother, Castiel is finally sent on his very first assignment. But what should be a simple love match turns into much more and Castiel finds himself risking everything to ensure the happiness of his extremely frustrating charge.
RevealedĀ (10k words): When a ritual backfires and Dean ends up with wings, they reveal things that heād much rather keep hidden.
The Siren and the Sea Monster (15k words):Ā When Cain moves to Washington State, Dean decides to follow him so that he can keep his job as Cainās apprentice. The small town near the sea is Cainās home town, and he has a small beach house that he rents to Dean for dirt cheap, with only a warning to beware of strange neighbors.
The Story of You and Me (54k words):Ā Dean wakes up in bed next to a very human Castiel, and a journal in his own handwriting that tells him itās two years in the future. The house looks a lot like Bobbyās, and Sam lives there too⦠He just canāt remember how they got from angels falling in the sky ā to comfortable domesticity.
Unfamiliar (29k words): 19 year old witch Castiel who has spent last 10 years unsuccessfully looking for his familiar and is finally giving up. Without a grounding bond to a familiar, Castielās magic will fade away and heās mentally preparing himself for his fate. Enter the owl shifter familiar Dean.
The World Crashing All Around Us (36k words):Ā During a storm in September of 1987, Dean and Sam hear something hit their roof. When they brave the backyard to investigate, they find a fledgling angel.
Miscellaneous:Ā
Aesthetics in Autoerotica (15k words): Dean is a nude photography model and Cas wants to use him for his latest erotica photography display.
Alterations (23k words): Business is tanking, and Cas is facing the very real possibility that he may lose his livelihood as a tailor. Can one client, no matter how attractive, really make a difference?
The Breath of All Things (65k words):Ā Dean Winchester is in a wheelchair and lives in a care home in Kansas, where he spends his days waiting to die. Itās only when Castiel Novak starts volunteering at the care home that Dean starts to wonder if a changed life always equals a ruined one.
Cooking with Gas (89k words):Ā Casā producer throws a contest to spend a day with Chef Novak, cooking and learning techniques. Castiel wants no part of it, but what heĀ wasnāt expecting was to fall head over heels for the winner.
Forget me not Blues (68k words):Ā Sam and Jess are getting married and Dean couldnāt be any happier for them.Ā Except Dean must have done something to epically piss off the universe because Jessās best man just happens to be Castiel frigginā Novak. Heās got even hotter since High School, but apparently no friendlier and if Cas wants to spend the week pretending like theyāve never met before? Fine. Two can play at that game
Kiss the Baker (112k words): The donuts are delicious but what has Dean driving to the new bakery is the handsome shop owner.
The Last Great Race (82k words): When writer Castiel Milton is forced to spend two and a half months in Alaska at Winchester Kennels to cover the Iditarod race preparations and the race itself, the only person more dismayed than he is Dean Winchester.
Let Me Please YouĀ (18k words):Ā Dean liked to read the casual encounter ads on Craigslist. He really did. Not that he ever intended on answering any of themā¦until one caught his attention.
Life in Pink (25k words):Ā At just 33 years old, Dean Winchester is one of the most sought-after wedding planners in the city. Heās on the brink of making partner at his firm and the wedding thatāll make or break his promotion is for his best friend Dr. Castiel Novak. The only problemā¦heās hopelessly in love with Cas.
Like the Summer SunshineĀ (22k words): When Dean jets off to Europe with Cas, he gets a much-needed vacation from hunting ā and his insecurities.
MeringueĀ (23k words): Dean and Cas have been dating for six months and couldnāt be happierā¦except something is missing from their sex life. Ā Cue a spur of the moment date between Dean and Casā identical twin Jimmy.
Muscle Memory (18k words): A 50 First Dates Dean/Cas AU where Castiel wakes up on a day just like any other, except that three years have passed without his knowing, and Dean Winchester is in the kitchen wanting to marry him.
Paint and Ink Verse (22k words):Ā Castiel needs a model for his new sculpture project, and Dean Winchester sounds perfect for the job.
Painted Angels (105k words):Ā Author Castiel Novak has finally hit the big time, with a book based on his failed college relationship with a brilliant painter. Heās put all his pain behind him, but at a book signing, he comes face to face with Dean Winchester for the first time in twelve years, and the reunion doesnāt go like Cas hoped.
Past Present (83k words): When a handsome stranger wanders into his bar one warm fall night, Dean Winchester is charmed by the archaeology professor. As their friendship deepens, Dean will discover that there are a few simple truths about love: it can sneak up on you when you least expect it, and it will level you without warning.
Pitchers and Catchers (122k words): Dean/Jimmy/Cas Fic -Ā In his entire career, from Little League to the pros, Castiel Novak has only ever pitched to his twin brother Jimmy Novak. When circumstances force him to need to find a new catcher, Castiel knows thereās no replacement for his brotherā¦
PWP: Pie without Plot (82k words): What initially looks like a haunting leaves the team in possession of a bakery. Let the fluff begin.
RockĀ ānā Roll Queer BarĀ (126k words): The story on how a bar brought together a couple of misfits and their adventures over the years.
Shut Up (Put your Money where your Mouth is)Ā (23k words): Deanās done some pretty stupid things, but getting drunk-hitched in Vegas to a colleague he barely knows might just take the cake.
Small Town Charmer (81k words):By ten a.m. Dean had seen his dream of expanding the hardware store dashed.By one, his baby had been impounded off the street. And by midnight, Deanās personal space had been invaded by an angry, wet bookseller with hot blue eyes and an armful of natty first editions.
Unintended (82k words): Castiel is a successful defense attorney beginning to doubt the integrity of the work he does. After winning a date with a firefighter named Dean at a charity auction, Cas decides that he needs to make a change in his life.
Me: okay let's be productive today! I have that essay I have to finish and--
Brain: *whines* nooooooo.
Me:...okay, fine how about we finish that fic that--
Brain: *rolls around uselessly* nooo.
Me: Dude, then what the fuck do you want to--
Brain: *caresses my cheek* no.
*finishing fic* i am an amazing being and this is absolutely beautiful text
*editing fic* i hate literally everything about this and myself
*posting fic* I canāt believe I made that many typos
*reading fic months later* Who wrote this? Itās actually pretty good? Wait, what? I have no memory of this place.
Good grief, is this accurate.
Ever-so gentle. (via Kevin Parry)Ā
make me choose: anonymous asked:Ā boromir or faramir?
I have been waiting 15 years for this gif set
favorite thing ever