๐งก summary: what you intended to be a distraction from your unfortunate crush on your best friend turns into your worst possible nightmare; you sent pictures - those kind of pictures - to the wrong person on accident. the person on the other end? jungwon - your best friend of many years and the absolute last person youโd want to damage your friendship with. youโd do anything to keep it from falling apart, so you head out for a late night visit to the dance studio.
๐ genre: best friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst, smut
๐งก rating: 18+ (mdni)
๐ word count: 18,040 words (oof)
๐งก content warnings: reader is down bad for bestie jungwon and doesn't relalize it's mutual, reader sends lewds, trope of โoh no i sent these pics to my best friend iโm in love with what do i do,โ dancer!wonie bc i feel like thatโs a warning by itself, love confessions, kissing, making out, groping, cursing, dirty talk, lots of praise, hair pulling, both are very sensitive bc โจin love thingsโจ, fingering, mirror shenanigans, hand curved around jaw, oral (m.), jake is kinda a menace tbh but itโs for the plot everyone still loves him ofc
a/n: the way jungwon has had me by the throat ... i had this idea and just needed to get it out somehow ๐คฉ thank you endlessly to my bestie @moonstruckpark for always entertaining my ideas and for betaing - always know i can count on you and i love you lots <3
if you read this: thank you so much!! i hope you enjoy it~
It was a typical Friday night, or at least it started out that way. You usually would come over every week or every other week on Fridays to watch movies or play games with Jungwon and his roommates โ Jay, Jake, and Heeseung โ who were also your friends.
Sometimes, Jungwon would work in a dance practice session before you guys could hang out, which was why you were here now in the studio, having watched him dance for the last hour.
Jungwon glanced up at you through the mirror as he heard you approach. He knelt down to re-tie his shoelaces that had come undone during practice.
"Sorry, I need to stay. I'm in the zone โ don't wanna let go of that energy."
Your arms were crossed and you gave him your best pout. Which you already knew would have zero effect in this situation because your best friend was stubborn as hell, especially when it came to dancing.
It was one of the many things you admired about him, though: his passion. So even if you were a little bummed that your plans had somewhat fallen through last minute, you couldn't find it in yourself to be that upset.
"You're also my ride homeโ" you tried to reason before you were cut off by an arm slinging itself around your shoulder, the sudden weight making you stumble.
"You can ride with us back to our place!" Jake reached out to steady you with his hand that wasn't attached to the arm he nearly knocked you over with. "We're all going to the same place anyway."
"And besides," Jake leaned in closer to you, but didn't really make an attempt to lower his volume, "it gives us more time to hang out by ourselves, yeah?"
Jake was now giving you his best puppy dog eyes and honestly how could you ever say no to that? You smiled and nodded, laughing when Jake pulled you closer into his side.
"Sleepover!" He pumped a fist into the air before he finally released you. "I'll probably sit in the back of the car if, ya know โ you wanna join or anything."
Jay simply rolled his eyes as he packed his gear and Heeseung was too busy downing a bottle of water to notice Jake being extra. You simply giggled at his antics before you turned to see what Jungwon thought of it all.
Jungwon was still in the same spot, hands frozen as he held his shoelaces. He was looking directly at Jake, and his jaw was slightly clenched.
"Wonie?"
He blinked at the sound of your voice and shook his head quickly, like he was trying to bring himself back to the present. His eyes focused on you and he gave you a soft smile. "Hm?"
"You good?"
"Yeah, uh, just making sure that I'm all set before I start the routine again." He finished tying his shoe before hopping back up like the abrupt change in altitude was nothing.
This time, it was Jungwon's arm that found its way around your shoulders as he pulled you into a hug. A small 'oof' expelled from you at the sudden movement, not expecting that you would collide with his chest the way you did.
Being in this position hugging him was the farthest thing from unfamiliar, but the heat radiating off of him made it feelโฆdifferent somehow.
"If you're staying the night, use my room, ok?"
You pulled back so you could look up at him, but his expression was hard to read.
"You want me to stay in your room?"
"Mhm." He hugged you closer for another moment before letting you go. His hand fell to your waist casually, like it was supposed to be there. "You can use my bed, and I've got a t-shirt I'm sure you can find if you need something comfortable to sleep in."
It wasn't like you'd never slept in his bed before, because you'd taken dozens of naps at his place, sometimes even with him in the bedโฆa respectable distance away, but still.
Even so, you didn't want to impose. "Wonie, I can sleep on you guys' couch, it's no big dealโ"
"Nah, you'll sleep better in my bedโ in my room." He corrected himself quickly and ran a hand through his hair, his blonde locks the slightest bit wavy with how damp they'd gotten from practice. "Think of it as my way of making it up to you since I can't drive you back."
"We'll look after her, don't worry." Jake slid over to you both, making it obvious that he'd just been eavesdropping on your conversation. "And my bed is plenty big enough for two, if you get lonely during the night." Jake added a wink for dramatic effect.
Jungwon's grip tightening on your waist took you by surprise.
It wasn't like Jungwon didn't want people showing you attention or anything like that. It was more likeโฆ after seeing you get treated badly one too many times, he'd had enough of it.
Was Jungwon protective of you? Always. Did all of your friends know that? Of course?
Did Jake care that his flirty nature was a little too much at times? Absolutely not.
"Thanks, Jake," you tried to be polite, but he really was going for it tonight. He'd always been more of the teasing sort, and you couldn't deny he was of the most charming people you'd ever met.
Jake had cranked the level up to 11 tonight for some reason, and the way Jungwon was reacting had your mind sprinting off into different directions.
"See you soon," Jake grinned at you as he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his black hoodie. He pulled the hood up and faced Jungwon, looking a little more serious now. "Hey, don't push yourself too hard, ok? You know you're the best โ no one's better for this than you."
Jungwon blinked before nodding, holding you a little looser now as he smiled back at Jake. "Thanks, I need that reassurance sometimes."
Jake clapped a hand on Jungwon's shoulder before he left to join Jay and Heeseung near the door leading out of the studio.
Jungwon pulled you closer briefly into a side hug. "Guess you better go with them."
"I can stayโ"
"Nope," Jungwon was already gently ushering you towards your friends. "I've already taken up enough of your time tonight."
"Time with you is never wasted, so I disagree." When you said the words, it didn't feel like they had any weight to them. The look on Jungwon's face, however, had you second guessing yourself for a moment.
Was that too far? Surely not. You've said way more incriminatingโ no, embarrassing things to him before. Something about it this time just seemedโฆ different.
Maybe it was the way his hand was still on your waist as he walked with you to the front of the studio. Maybe it was the way that you could feel the heat radiating from him where he touched you, even through layers of clothing.
Maybe it was because Jungwon was Jungwon. And you were you.
That's all the two of you had ever beenโ and that was enough.
Before you could think on it too long, you tuned in once again to the men in front of you.
Jake was talking to Jay about something, and as usual Jay just looked on fondly with a puzzled, but very amused, expression. Heeseung was looking over the fliers that had been pasted to the window at the front, adding notes in his phone for important dates like recitals, mandatory practices, etc.
"Text me when you're home?" Jungwon retracted his hand and you missed the warmth immediately. "Well, when you're back at my place."
"Don't worry, loverboy, we'll take good care of her," Jake offered as Jay started pushing him out the door. He was mumbling something to Jake that sounded like "If you don't go get in the carโ"
Heeseung waved and smiled at Jungwon before he followed the others, you right behind him as Jungwon closed the door when you finally stepped out into the cool night air.
The ride back to their place was pleasant โ you always had a good time with them โ but you couldn't shake this feeling that something was off.
A few minutes later, your phone vibrated and the screen lit up, making you smile.
[wonie๐] 10:05 PM: good, use whatever you need in my room. what's mine is yours
You swore you could feel your heart pound against your chest at that response.
[you] 10:06 PM: oh? so if you come back and some of your most treasured items are missing, i won't get in trouble? ๐คฉ
[wonie๐] 10:07 PM: don't push your luck
Barely a minute later:
[wonie๐] 10:08 PM: (but also yeah, because it's you)
You couldn't hold back your smile that time, catching Jake's attention as he was mid-ramble.
"What's got you grinning like that? Won already coming back?"
Jay chuckled and Heeseung went to raid the kitchen to find what you assumed would be ramen.
"No," you rolled your eyes playfully at Jake, "I was just letting him know we got here safe."
"Uh huh," Jake's sly smile didn't go unnoticed by you. "You let him know we were back home safe or that you were safe?"
Jake's knowing tone made you subtly shift from foot to foot. "โฆdoes it matter?"
Jake shrugged. "Guess not." He plopped down onto the couch before he resumed his conversation with Jay, this time with you listening in.
"I'm just saying โ either she's into me, or she's asking me for advice on how to get another guy's attention."
Jay hummed like he was thinking it over. "And she did that by asking if you'd be alright with her sending you pictures?"
Heeseung called your name from the kitchen, prompting you to look over your shoulder. He raised a soda can to see if you wanted one, but you politely declined with a smile and shake of your head. He returned your smile before his head poked back into the fridge.
Jake groaned like he was personally offended by Jay's comment. "Not just pictures, bro. She asked if she could send me nudes."
Jay shoved Jake's shoulder and Jake retaliated with a shocked "What the hell, man?" You giggled at the absurdity of it all.
Jay, instead, groaned at the audacity and asked "Why are you always so crass?"
Jake shrugged. "Scorpio bullshit, I guess."
"We have a guest." Jay glanced over at you quickly, almost fast enough you didn't see it.
Jake followed the movement until his eyes landed on you. "Her?" He sputtered out a laugh. "C'mon, she doesn't care. We're all adults here, right?"
You sat in one of the chairs on the other side of the room, amused as always by Jake and Jay's push-and-pull with their discussions. "I don't care if you guys don't. Plus, I'm kinda curious to see what wisdom you're going to give us."
Jake made an exaggerated movement with his hand, motioning at you. "See? Thank you." Jay rolled his eyes but didn't disagree further.
Heeseung had joined the three of you now, bowl of ramen in one hand and a drink in the other while he sat in the chair next to you. "Ok so," Heeseung started, "she asked to send you nudes. Then what?"
For how much you sometimes thought Heeseung was in his own world when things were going on, he really did pay close attention to what was happening around him.
"Well I told her of course she could, duh," Jake said it like it was the most logical answer in the world. "I told her that it's one sure fire way to show your interest in a guy โ at least if you have some inkling that he likes you back."
"It is?" Your voice even surprised you, because you thought you'd asked that question in your head.
Jake smiled. "Mhm." The smile stretched into a sly grin, one you knew all too well. "Why? You got someone you wanna send some pics to?"
You could feel your face heat up as you quickly shook your head. "No, justโฆwas wondering, is all."
"Fair. Well, if you ever want to send some to anyone, then by all means, I'm availableโ"
Jake barely got the last word out before Jay was smacking him with a couch cushion.
"What is your deal tonight?!" Jake was trying to fight the onslaught of pillowy punches.
"I could ask you the same thing," Jay nearly yelled back. "I swear, sometimes it's like you want to dig your own grave."
Jake managed to wrestle the cushion away from Jay before tossing it to the floor. Heeseung kicked it further out of the way but made no other moves to intervene.
"You're telling me if she wanted to send you nudes that you would be opposed?"
Jay's mouth hung open for a second as he looked back and forth between you, Jake, Heeseung โ who was happily eating his ramen without a care in the world, then back to you again.
"Yesโ I mean, no, uh," Jay couldn't hold eye contact with you. "Personally I would say no because we're really good friends. No offense."
Jay offered you a smile but it felt like there was more he wasn't telling you.
"You're a different breed than me, then. If one of my really good friends was hot," Jake paused for a moment to catch your eye before he continued, smirking devilishly "and she wanted to send some to me, there's no way I'm turning that down."
You gulped. "Good to know."
Heeseung chuckled beside you, shaking his head at his friends' nonsense he was witnessing.
"Anyways," Jay said it with a tone of what you thought might be finality. "It's kinda late so I'm turning in soon. You have everything you need?"
You realized Jay was asking you that, having gotten lost in your own thoughts for a moment. "Huh? Yeah, I think so. Wonie said I could use whatever I needed from his room."
"I'm sure he did," Jake mumbled, still loud enough for you to hear. He followed Jay's lead and stood up from the couch, stretching his limbs as he did. "Sure you don't want company? I wasn't lying when I said my bed is big enough for two, you know."
Jay started pulling Jake toward their rooms at the opposite end of the apartment by the hood on his jacket before you could respond. "Goodnight," Jay addressed both you and Heeseung as he walked away, Jake waving as he was dragged along.
You laughed as Jake waved while he was being drug away, barely catching Jay say something like "One day I may not be here to save your assโ"
"Guess I'm gonna wind down, too." Heeseung yawned before he got up to clean his dishes. "You're free to stay in here of course, but I figured you're probably ready to head to Won's room and just chill."
His yawn triggered your own, the action making you realize then just how tired you really were. "Yeah, that sounds like the move."
Heeseung smiled before he turned around to face the sink. "Sleep well," he said over his shoulder, not waiting for you to acknowledge him before he turned the faucet on.
"You too," you hoped you said it at a volume he could hear over the water, but even if you hadn't, you knew Heeseung well enough that he would know you responded if he didn't hear it.
When you closed Jungwon's room door behind you, the search for a t-shirt started. You knew what drawer Jungwon kept most of his shirts in, and right on top you found a dark blue one that you recognized as being one you'd worn on several occasions at this point.
If you thought about it hard enough, you might even remember Jungwon telling you that he basically always put that shirt near the top for you because you seemed to like it so much. He also once joked about just giving it to you, but then that would 'take the fun out of you wearing something that was his.'
That man really did confuse you sometimes.
Certain things he said and special moments the two of you shared had made you wonder in the past if there really was more to your friendship. It obviously didn't help that you had โ and have had for a while โ a massive crush on him. You always tried your best to push those feelings down because your friendship mattered more to you than anything else probably ever could. But right now, here, in his room, wearing his shirt while you waited on him to get homeโฆ
Well, sometimes it was fun to imagine, right?
You changed clothes, slightly mortified at the fact that you'd forgotten to bring shorts with you. Of course, you had left your place in a kind of frenzy because Jungwon has decided he needed to get some dance practice in right then, which changed your plans. You didn't mind the plan changed, but him grabbing your hand to rush both of you out the door of your place didn't leave you much time to grab anything extra as you left.
You were a little nervous to lay in his bed without them. It wasn't like it'd be wrong or bad of you to do so, it just felt quiteโ intimate.
Even though Jungwon wasn't there with you. The fact that it was his clothes and his bed was enough.
Your chest had that familiar ache starting, the one that always presented itself whenever you thought about Jungwon too much in a specific way, when you thought about him in a way that you could never have.
When you thought about being his completelyโ not just being his best friend, but also his person. You thought about meaning to him what he meant to you.
You thought about loving him as more than your best friend.
When your head hit the pillow, you sighed, trying to whisk away all the pesky thoughts that plagued you in that moment. Dwelling on it didn't help anyone, and pining like this would only draw you in further and make it harder for you to claw your way back out.
Your phone vibrated, helping somewhat with bringing you out of your spiral.
[wonie๐] 11:15 PM: hey, i'm almost done here, be back soon. i'll try not to wake you if you're asleep when i come in
Always so considerate. It was just one of the many things you loved about him. You sent him a response and before you closed out of your messages screen, your eyes drifted down to see [jake๐ถ] sitting a few people under Jungwon in your most recent contacts.
The conversation from earlier came back to you then.
"โฆit's one sure fire way to show your interest in a guy โ at least if you have some inkling that he likes you back."
Did you have an 'inkling' Jungwon liked you back, or was it just wishful thinking?
And what did it even matterโ there was no way in hell that you would sending any photos of that sort to Jungwon in the hopes of getting his attention.
โฆtaking pictures, howeverโฆthat was a different story.
Before you could chicken out, suddenly confident from the slight adrenaline rush you had at the idea, you slid out from under the covers and sat on top of Jungwon's bed.
Seeing yourself in the mirror across from his bed gave you an idea of a certain pose you thought might look nice. You bit your lip while you contemplated, noticing how the lighting in the room would probably look better if you adjusted it just a little bitโ
Within a few minutes, you had a setup that you were proud of: you had turned the lighting to more of a blueish hue (Jungwon had taught you how and knew you liked that setting, so he also had it like that a lot when you were over), your phone was set up to where it could take pictures of you through the mirror without you having to hold it or it be in the way, and you were perched almost at the edge of his bed.
You set the camera timer and took a few photos in a pose you felt comfortable with. You exposed skin, but not too muchโ just enough to leave a little to the imagination. It was exhilarating, not just the act of doing this but where you were doing it; almost like being in Jungwon's room emboldened you to do things that you normally wouldn't.
When you were satisfied with one of the pictures, you saved it and deleted the others before you fixed Jungwon's room back to how it was before you got there (aside from the lights, of course). It was easier then for you to fall asleep since you felt like some kind of weight had been liftedโ you just didn't know what.
Jungwon met you in your dreams, but this time, you welcomed the feeling without trying to fight it.
Soft whispers and a nudge against your shoulder woke you up. You made some incoherent noises as you stirred, blinking as someone came into view.
"Hey there, sleepyhead." Jungwon smiled, sitting down next to you now that you were awake. "I hated waking you but I also wanted to check on you."
"Hi, Wonie," you greeted him back, a slight slur to your voice since you had been sleeping pretty hard. "Happy you're home."
His laughter was soft, and it probably could have lulled you back to sleep if he did it long enough. You faintly were aware of him brushing some of your hair out of your face.
"Me too. Always nice to see you here when I get back."
That had you feeling a little more awake. Your eyes opened more now, and it was then that you noticed Jungwon in front of you. He had on different clothes than the ones he'd been dancing in, and his hair was considerably damp from what you could tell.
He must've already taken a shower and changed before waking you up, and that honestly had you feeling some kind of way.
"I thought about waking you up before I got a shower," Jungwon went on โ he had to have the ability to read your mind or something. "You know, just so you'd be aware I'm here if you woke up. But you looked so peaceful I couldn't fathom waking you. I hope that's ok."
His hand was still near your face from where he'd brushed your hair away, and in a moment of bravery, you placed your hand on top of his. The small hitch in his breath had your heart rate picking up.
"It's more than ok. This is your space, Wonie, you're free to do whatever you want."
Jungwon gulped. "R-Right. Well, uh," he slowly pulled his hand away from yours, running it through his hair afterwards. "I'm sure you probably wanna get back to sleep soon, so I'll leave you to itโ"
You frowned. "Where are you going?"
Jungwon looked at you like it was obvious as he jerked his thumb behind him towards the bedroom door. "I'm going to go sleep on the couch? I'm not making you move out of my bed when you look this comfy."
You smiled and gently grabbed his wrist, tugging him forward a little bit, making him stumble. "Don't be sillyโ we can share the bed."
"Oh," Jungwon choked out. "Um, I mean, yeah, we can."
"We've taken naps before, right?" You yawned before you continued, your eyes slowly starting to droop closed again. "It'll be just like that, but kinda different."
Jungwon's lack of an answer had your eyes opening. "Unless you don't want toโ I don't want you to be uncomfortableโ"
"No, no, never," Jungwon rushed out, his free hand coming down to rest on top of yours that was still wrapped around his wrist. "I'm fine with sharing the bed. Only if you're ok with it, though."
"I wouldn't have made the suggestion if I wasn't." You tried teasing him a little with your tone, but all you did is manage to sound sleepier. The soft laugh you got in return was still worth it.
"Well then, I guess make some room for me. I'll give you as much space as I can." Jungwon walked over to the opposite side of the bed as you shimmied closer to the side you were laying on. You didn't really care about the space issues, but you also wanted him to be comfortable.
When he was settled in under the covers, you could almost feel how rigid his posture was with him trying to stay as far away as possible. Definitely not what you would consider comfortable.
"Wonie?" You didn't even bother looking over your shoulder.
"Y-Yeah?"
"You know you can come closer, right?"
A few seconds of silence before you felt the bed shifting behind you as Jungwon shuffled forward some. There was still some distance between the two of you, but you figured he wasn't at risk of falling off the bed anymore, at the very least.
"This ok?" He sounded hesitant, voice low like if he spoke any louder he might shatter the illusion of you both being here like this.
"Mhm," you nodded. Then you looked over your shoulder at him. "But you can still come closer, if you want."
"Do youโฆwant me to?"
"Do you want to," you tossed the question back to him. It didn't matter if you wanted to cuddle up with him while he held you close โ if he didn't want that then it wouldn't happen.
He moved slightly behind you before he answered. "I, uh, I do, but only if you're fine with itโ"
You didn't let him finish, instead opting for reaching behind you to grab his arm and pull him closer. When he was closer to you, his hand accidentally brushed against your thigh.
"Shit, sorry, I didn't mean to," he paused. "Waitโฆyou didn't bring shorts?"
It was your turn to be flustered now, and in all honesty, you had forgotten about that small detail since you'd fallen asleep.
"I didn't get a chance to grab any when we left my place," you willed your voice to stay steady and not betray your panic. "I'm sorry, I can leave ifโ"
"No," Jungwon's hand landed on your arm, where he patted you reassuringly. "Stay. Please."
You tried to relax then. "Just do what feels right, Wonie."
His hand stopped moving against your arm for a second where he'd been lazily tracing patterns you couldn't identify. "You sure?"
You looked at him over your shoulder and smiled. "I trust you."
It seemed like you finally gave Jungwon the confirmation he needed to hear for him to relax with you. His hand disappeared from your arm, and then you felt his arm snake around your waist a moment later as he pulled your closer. He didn't pull you flush against him, but his arm was secure around you, like he didn't dare let you go.
"This ok?" You could feel how close he was to your neck when he spoke, voice quiet, almost inaudible.
You nodded. "It's better than ok." His hand flexed against your stomach in response.
You mumbled out what you hoped sounded like 'goodnight,' not really minding much since you were already halfway back to dreamland. You felt Jungwon chuckle behind you.
After a few moments, he finally responded, his words leaving you with a smile as you drifted back to sleep.
When you woke in the morning, the first thing you noticed was the warmth pressed up against your back, then the arm still looped around your waist. At some point in the night, it seemed like Jungwon had ended up pulling you closer against him โ whether intentionally or while sleeping, though, you weren't sure. Jungwon's steady breathing behind you gave you a sense of peace.
Unfortunately for you, the peace didn't last long.
Jungwon let out what sounded like a sigh, his breath tickling your neck and making you shiver in surprise. That was when you felt it โ when you felt him.
The slight brush against him was all you needed to be able to tell he was hard. And not just, like, a little bit. Hard enough for you to notice he was rather bigโ
Morning wood, your brain tried to reason, but whatever it was it did not help you with remaining calm in the slightest.
You shifted awkwardly as you tried to think of a way to shimmy yourself from his grasp. The small grunt he let out at your movement made you freeze before he pulled you in even closer, his grip tightening around you. You gasped as you collided against his chest, feeling your current problem against the back of your thighs.
You hated that you found yourself in this situation merely because you knew Jungwon would be mortified the moment he woke up. You hated yourself more for the fact that, if you put logic aside, you quite liked this.
Stupid conflicting feelings. Stupid Jungwon with his stupidly attractive face and his ridiculously strong arm and his very distracting problem behind youโ
You had to get out of here. Fast. You gulped quickly and shut your eyes.
"Wonie," you called out softly. You hated every moment of this because you'd much rather fall back asleep in his embrace, even in the 'compromising' position you found yourself.
He barely stirred behind you, groaning again when he came into contact with you. Your mind was running rampant as you bit your lip to stifle any unnecessary sounds.
"Wonie, hey," you tried a little louder this time. "It's time to wake up."
This time you managed to get his attention, and his face nuzzled against your shoulder. "Hm?"
You didn't say anything else, you simply let him process as he slowly woke up. It took maybe 10 seconds before he let out a sharp gasp behind you.
"Oh, fuck, oh my god, I'm so sorry," his voice was somewhat shaky and you wanted nothing more than to console him in that moment. "This is so embarrassing, godโ"
"Hey, it's ok," you tried to soothe him as you looked at him over your shoulder. He still had his arm wound tightly around you, so turning completely in his hold didn't seem like the best idea.
When his eyes met yours, he shut his immediately. "It's not ok, I can't believe this happened, well I actually can, but uhโ"
You reached an arm back as best you could, hoping that if you cupped his face he might calm down. It had the complete opposite effect, causing you both to let out startled noises when he bucked up against you as your fingers brushed along his jawline.
"Fuck, maybe don't, uh, touch me right now?" He laughed nervously.
"Right, yeah, whatever you need," you were matching his nervous demeanor, despite your best efforts not to.
Truth be told: you really weren't uncomfortable, not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Waking up in bed next to your best friend you were devastatingly in love with, and him being in this state at the same time? Truly a win for you, honestly. Especially considering how he was reacting while awake.
Your excitement about the situation made you feel bad though, since Jungwon clearly didn't share the same sentiment, at least from what you could tell. So you kept those thoughts to yourself, like you did most of your thoughts about Jungwon that delved into the 'more than friendly' category.
"I need this to not be happening," he sighed in frustration. "Listen, can Iโ when I let go of you, I need you to not look at me, ok?"
You nodded, the action jostling you more than you'd hoped. Jungwon grunted again and finally released you.
As you tumbled off the bed, he was gone in a flash, running into the bathroom in his room faster than you'd ever seen him. It was pretty impressive if you thought about it.
You stood in the middle of the room, unsure of where to go while he wasโฆbusy? You couldn't hear any noise from the bathroom, but you also weren't really straining to listen because the idea made you feel even more guilty.
It was fairly late in the morning, so you figured the other guys must be up by now. Maybe trying to find some breakfast and sharing their company would placate your rattled nerves.
Or at least they would if not for the fact that you still didn't have shorts to wear. You didn't want to put on your clothes from the previous day, so you made a choice.
These men had been around you long enough and had surely seen your legs before, so it shouldn't be that big of a deal, right?
You forgot about one small detail: Jake also lived here.
And even if it was only morning, he was still ruthless in his flirting attempts.
You tried tiptoeing out of Jungwon's room and shutting the door quietly, but the low whistle across the room quickly clued you in to how not subtle you were being.
"Well, you sure are a sight for sore eyes." Jake was grinning ear to ear. Beside him on the couch, Jay rolled his eyes before offering you a soft smile, almost like he was saying 'sorry.' Heeseung acknowledged you with a head nod before he resumed eating his cereal.
"Thanks, Jake," you tried to give them a smile back but it probably came out more like a grimace based on Heeseung's slightly concerned face.
"No problem. Always happy to compliment a pretty lady when I see one." He winked at you, which didn't help your nerves at all. You slowly made your way over to the chair you usually sat in, trying to tug down Jungwon's shirt as much as possible.
You silently sat and watched for a few minutes as the boys casually spoke about their plans for the day. Jungwon still hadn't joined the four of you in the living room yet. You couldn't help but let your thoughts drift toโฆ ideas about what might be taking him this long.
"Why don't you come sit next to me," Jake broke you out of your stupor as he patted the seat beside him. You blinked and looked over.
There was enough room for you, sure, but it would've put you in pretty close proximity to Jake. Which, you didn't really mind, but the only one you wanted to be close to now was Jungwonโ
Alright feelings, reel it in.
"That seat's taken," Jay piped up. Jake gave him a confused look before trying again.
"Bro, there's literally nothing in this seatโ"
Jay placed one of the pillows on the couch in the spot before Jake was finished. "Now there is."
Heeseung laughed into his cereal and you even let out a chuckle yourself. Jake groaned and let his head fall against the couch. "Why do you do these things?"
Jay scoffed, appalled. "Why do you do these things? I'm trying to help you."
He might've thought he was speaking low enough for his voice to not carry, but you still heard anyway. You spared a glance at Heeseung and he simply shrugged.
"What, you want me to lie? She looks damn good like that," Jake pushed further. You could feel heat across your face, which only intensified when you heard movement from around the corner.
"Who looks good like what now?" Jungwon's voice was still deeper than usual, since he hadn't been awake long, but he looked significantly less flustered. He was standing next to your chair, one hand in his pocket while the other was holding something.
"I brought some of my shorts for you โ they'll probably be a little loose, but you can tie them as tightly as you need to."
"Of course, always Jungwon to the rescue." The words dripped from Jake with exaggeration and Jay coughed awkwardly.
You ignored Jake's comment as you took the shorts with shaky hands, your chest feeling fuzzy at the fact that Jungwon had remembered during hisโฆ peril. "Thanks, I'll, uh, I'll go change."
"Whose shirt are you even wearing anyway?" You heard Jake call after you, but before you could answer, Jungwon's voice cut through the air โ sharp, but calm.
"Mine."
You closed Jungwon's bedroom door and quickly changed, not wanting to miss any of what might be going on outside. Jake liked to push Jungwon โ playfully, of course โ and you usually found the interactions to be very amusing.
This morning, however, Jungwon didn't seem to be in a 'playful' mood. This was even more evident when you walked back outside and he was now sitting in your chair.
Jake knocked the pillow off the spot next to him and gestured to it like it was the only viable option. You took one step toward himโ
โbut you were instantly tugged backward by a hand on your wrist.
You landed softly on Jungwon's lap with your back against his chest. Thankfully, this time, he felt normal underneath you. But your heartbeat picked up anyway due to the fact that he has just put you in his lap on purpose.
Not only that, but he wrapped both arms around you from behind, placing his chin on your shoulder. You felt like you couldn't breathe or the illusion might shatter.
Except this was happening, this was real. And your thoughts were even more out of control than before.
Anytime Jungwon showed even a shred of possessiveness it always made your chest feel fluttery. This was one of the most possessive type of gestures you'd ever seen from him, and coming off the heels of staying with him last night and your shared time this morning, the entire situation had you feeling lost for words.
"Aw, c'mon Won, lighten up. Not my fault she looks good in your clothes." Jake dragged out the word 'your,' for a reason you couldn't place. Jungwon's arms tightened around you.
"I know she does."
His bluntness took you off guard, and it didn't seem like it was just you โ Jake also raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Noted." Jake blinked before a sinister grin stretched across his face. "Hey, maybe if you're ever over and Won isn't here, you can borrow some of my clothes, yeah? Bet you'd look just as goodโ"
"No need to betโ you won't be finding out." Jungwon pulled you closer then, the action making you gasp softly.
Jay's mouth was hanging open as he looked between Jungwon and Jake before his stare rested on you. Heeseung had stopped eating his cereal, spoon still halfway to his mouth, full of another bite.
Jake held his hands up in defense, finally conceding, thankfully. "Whatever you say, man. Just teasing is all." His smug smile made you think there was more to his methods, but you let it drop for now.
Jungwon nodded (at least from what you could tell since he still had his chin on your shoulder) and that was the end of that interaction. The silence in the room wasn't tense, but if you had to describe it as anything, it was present.
Jay started up a new conversation, pulling Jake in instantly and even roping in Heeseung since it was about a game the three of them were playing. You watched with fondness in your gaze, resting against Jungwon's chest. You let out a happy sigh, and he readjusted his arms around you.
"Hey," he said quietly, voice right by your ear given the position you were in, "you doing ok?"
"Mhm," you nodded and looked to the side to give him a smile. He returned it, and you finally noticed that he looked a littleโฆshy, perhaps?
"Good. Didn't wanna scare you away withโ well, everything this morning."
You laughed as you leaned your head back against his shoulder and closed your eyes. "Nothing you do will ever keep me away. You're stuck with me โ no returns, no refunds, no exchanges."
Jungwon chuckled beneath you, and one of his hands rested on your thigh now. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."
The rest of the morning was chill and calm, a break from the internal chaos you'd been experiencing for a little over maybe 12 hours now. At some point you dozed off, feeling comfortable and safe in Jungwon's warm embrace.
After you woke up some time later, you noticed that during your slumber, Jungwon had wrapped one of his pinkys around yours. He was still asleep underneath you, letting out soft snores against your shoulder while one arm was still curled around your waist.
It'd only been a few days but your feelings were more out of sorts than ever. Each time you and Jungwon hung out now there was some kind of weird energy between the two of you โ not weird in a bad way, but just strange. Like you couldn't tell if he might've been feeling more like you were or if you truly were destined to stay this way forever โ always the best friend, but never more than that.
For example, anytime Jake was around now, if Jungwon was there, he had to be touching you. Either his hand was brushing against yours, his arm was around your shoulders, he had a hand on your waist when you were beside him, basically anything like that.
Subtle, but very clearly saying: I'm here.
Did that deter Jake from flirting? Not really, but he did tone down the frequency of his comments at least, and for that you were grateful.
You knew there was no bad blood between Jungwon and Jake; they'd been close friends for too long to let lighthearted teasing shake things up. But you'd known Jungwon longer, and you know that for Jungwon, you were his best friend. And maybe that's why Jake being more bold bothered him the way it did.
You wouldn't delude yourself into thinking otherwise, because that would just get your hopes up before they inevitably came crashing down once again.
All these thoughts were racing through your mind while you sat with your back against the wall in the dance studio. Your arms were propped up on your knees as you watched Jungwon and Heeseung practice a routine for an upcoming show.
Jungwon decided today would be an amazing day to wear a black tank top and gray sweatpantsโ because who needs sanity, right?
Heeseung was a little more modest in his choice of clothing, a white t-shirt and black sweats, but Jungwon was distracting enough on his own that you didn't think it'd matter what Heeseung wore, your eyes would still be glued to him.
His blonde hair was damp from sweat, and he kept having to push it out of his face midway through their repeats of the routine. Heeseung called for a 5 minute break, and Jungwon started jogging over to you, big smile on his face.
"Did you see that? We're so close to nailing it, I can taste it."
That phrasing wasn't helping you think appropriate thoughts, especially not when this close you could see beads of sweat rolling down his neck and ending at the dip in his collarbone.
"You guys are doing great," you stood up and offered him his water bottle with a genuine smile, looking up at the ceiling afterwards to avert your focus from watching his Adam's apple bob when he drank from the bottle.
God, you really needed to get a grip. And not a grip of Jungwonโ you needed to pull yourself together.
Jungwon seemed pleased with your praise, wiping the back of his mouth before he handed the water back. "Sorry I'm a bit messy right now, I know it's not like, the most appealing sightโ"
"You're one of my favorite sights, no matter what."
The words slipped out before you could control them. There was no brain-to-mouth filter: only untethered feelings escaping you and taking up space in the atmosphere.
Jungwon blinked once, twice, before he stammered out an "O-oh. Thank you."
"R-right," it was your turn to stammer now, "well, uh, don't let me hold you up. Go get 'em!"
You tried to turn Jungwon around so he could walk back over to Heeseung, but when your hands reached out for his shoulders, he caught them with his own.
"By the way," he leaned in closer, giving your hands a small squeeze. You swore all other sound faded out in that moment.
"You're one of my favorite sights, too. Always."
You couldn't breathe. Jungwon's soft tone and closeness had you feeling intoxicated, and all you could do was nod in acknowledgement. He flashed that beautiful smile you saw all the time in your dreams before releasing your hands and turning around on his own.
"We don't have to stay too much longer, ok? Promise!" Without looking back, he held a hand up with his pinky outstretched โ promising.
You sunk back to the floor, wrapping your arms around your legs this time (pinky out as you did). Jungwon really gave you whiplash sometimes, and your body was flush with a heat you didn't usually feel, at least not this intensely.
Not out in the open, not here in the actual vicinity of Jungwon. This was a feeling you mostly kept to yourself, left between you and your bed on nights where you were tangled in your sheets, frustrated while you tried to pleasure yourself and calling out the name of the only one you wanted: him.
Today was going to be a long day. You rested your forehead on your knees, already anticipating things to get much worse.
And they did โ just not in the way you'd expected.
Back at your own place now, you couldn't get the images of Jungwon dancing out of your head. The way he moved so fluidly, like his body was influencing the music and not the other way around; you would stare at him in awe every time. You could watch him dance for hours, and had done so multiple times before, but seeing him like that today, it was like a switch had flipped.
His behavior earlier did nothing to stave off the desire you could feel creeping up and threatening to consume you. You'd gone through so many emotions in the span of a few hours and you were exhausted by it all.
Now was not the time to start spiraling over your best friend, the person who knew you better than you knew yourself, the person whose smile could always brighten your dayโ
You didn't need this breakdown. Not right now. Your thoughts were already muddled enough with all these (re)surfacing feelings about Jungwon.
You needed a distraction. Your mind drifted to Jake, who had been a bit more flirtatious than usual lately.
Were you thinking clearly? Not really.
But you'd try anything to get the stupid thoughts to shut the fuck up for once.
You remembered then the picture you'd taken the night you stayed over at Jungwon's place, in his room, posing on his bed. It was burning a hole in your camera roll, just waiting for you to send it to someone. Waiting for you to bare yourself in a way that you only wanted one person to see.
And you could never show that person โ thus was your dilemma.
Although, just because you couldn't send it to that person didn't mean you couldn't send it to anyone. And Jake did say he wouldn't mind if you sent him a picture.
And honestly? If you really thought about it, you could actually see yourself flirting back with a guy like Jake. The two of you had good chemistry already as friends, and it was safe to bet that there was a mutual attraction between the two of you from the compliments you'd both give.
What would Jungwon say, though? If you started dating one of his other good friends โ one of your other good friends? Especially now after he's been acting the way he has around Jake? Would he be upset, or annoyed, orโ
Would he even care to start with?
That last question left you with uneasiness in your chest. All of the pondering and 'what-ifs' started to make you feel antsy.
Without really thinking it through, you found the picture from the other night in your photo album and sent it.
[you] 8:28 PM: IMG.0902
You'd just texted Jake earlier in the day, so you knew he had to be near the top, if not at the very top, of your text list. You let out the breath youโd been holding, glad to have that out of your system. Now you could focus your attention on other thingsโ
Or you could check and make sure the message sent, because why wouldnโt you? Nothing wrong with being cautious, especially when it's something as normal as sending a guy who has been kinda-sorta flirting with you a risquรฉ picture of yourself with no warning.
You nearly dropped your phone as you stared wide-eyed at the screen.
โFuck,โ you breathed out. โNo no no-โ
[you] 8:29 PM: oh my god wait
[you] 8:29 PM: pls donโt open that
[you] 8:29 PM: just
[you] 8:29 PM: donโt scroll back up
[you] 8:29 PM: nothing to see up here
[you] 8:30 PM: iโll tell you some cool facts instead!!
[you] 8:30 PM: did you know that octopuses sometimes throw things when theyโre stressed
[you] 8:30 PM: just like people do
[you] 8:31 PM: crazy huh
You couldnโt even see the picture message on your screen anymore, and you knew Jungwon had a similar, if not the same, phone model like yours. So, it had to also be off his screen by now.
โฆright?
Panic seeped through your body, trying to settle into your bones. Every passing minute that you didn't get a response felt like torture.
The time it took Jungwon to respond was enough time for you to think of all the ways you could salvage this. It was also long enough for you to realize the only thing you could probably do now is skip town and start a new life elsewhere.
[wonie๐] 8:38 PM: well hi to you too
[you] 8:38 PM: yes hi hello pls donโt scroll up thank you ๐ซถ
[wonie๐] 8:38 PM: uh
[wonie๐] 8:38 PM: you know i canโt just like
[wonie๐] 8:38 PM: ignore that youโre trying to hide something from me rn right?
[you] 8:38 PM: ofc you can!
[wonie๐] 8:38 PM: actually i canโt
[wonie๐] 8:39 PM: itโs in the best friend handbook
[wonie๐] 8:39 PM: donโt tell me you already forgot :(
Somehow, Jungwon hadnโt managed to see it yet. Or he was just really good at pretending for your sake, which you wouldnโt put past him at all.
A sigh of relief slipped past your lips and, like a fool, you thought for a moment that you might even be in the clear.
[wonie๐] 8:40 PM: since you forgot the sacred bestie rules, i think itโs only fair that you tell me what you're hiding
[you] 8:40 PM: jungwon i am so serious pls just forget about it
[wonie๐] 8:40 PM: using the full name?? now i gotta know what you sent me
[you] 8:40 PM: wonie donโt
[wonie๐] 8:40 PM: nickname wonโt save you now
The wording had your heart racing but you shoved aside the feeling for now. You were in damage control mode and everything else could wait.
[you] 8:41 PM: pls??
[wonie๐] 8:41 PM: begging? you REALLY donโt want me to know do you
[you] 8:41 PM: believe me itโs better if you donโt :,)
[wonie๐] 8:41 PM: huh
[wonie๐] 8:41 PM: that so?
His tone was decipherable even through a screen. You knew what was coming next.
[wonie๐] 8:42 PM: bet.
Well, it was nice having an untainted friendship while it lasted. A few minutes went by as you sat at the edge of your bed with your head in your hands.
The vibration from your phone made you squeak because you hadnโt been expecting it so soon. Dread flowed through you as you opened it up to see what kind of damage had been done.
[wonie๐] 8:45 PM: oh
For some reason, you flinched. That simple โohโ hurt probably more than anything else he couldโve said. But also: why did you want him to say more when you were already mortified?
You knew why and just didnโt want to admit it. You could keep the feelings in. You would keep the feelings in.
If there was any way you could crawl back from the cliff edge you were dangerously dangling yourself over, you would do it without hesitation.
Your friendship with Jungwon meant more to you than the happiness you thought you might have if you were ever more than that.
And as soon as you were done dealing with this, youโd make sure everything would be normal and fine and all good again.
Your phone vibrated again in your hold. Surprised, you opened it again.
[wonie๐] 8:46 PM: well
[wonie๐] 8:46 PM: definitely wasn't expecting that
[you] 8:46 PM: yeah well you saw it now so you can just delete it and forget what happened
[wonie๐] 8:47 PM: cโmon you know me better than that
Pause. What?
Before you could question it further, another text popped up.
[wonie๐] 8:47 PM: where are you rn
[you] 8:48 PM: i'm at home. why??
[wonie๐] 8:48 PM: by yourself?
[you] 8:48 PM: yes?
You fumbled with your phone as it started vibrating wildly in your handsโthe custom vibration pattern you had set for whenever Jungwon was calling.
โฆJungwon was calling.
Could you answer him like this? Face him so soon without the guarded barrier of texted words without vocals behind them?
Your stomach swirled with anticipation as you decided โfuck it, why not.โ You answered after another second of vibration.
โH-hi.โ
โHey,โ Jungwonโs voice wasโฆa little off. He still sounded calm, like usual, but there was a slight edge to it. โWe gonna talk about it, or?โ
"About the octopus fact?" Deflection: that was your only tactic you had left up your sleeve. "It's really interesting actuallyโ"
"As much as I love hearing all your fun facts you have floating around in that pretty head of yours," Jungwon cut you off, tone sounding a little more amused now, "you and I both know what I'm asking about."
Your brain was trying to catch up with the fact that he just called you pretty. Well, more specifically your head, but you'd take what you could get.
It's not like Jungwon had never called you something like that before; he'd told you on numerous occasions when you looked nice in an outfit or he liked the way you styled your hair or something to that effect.
He'd even called you beautiful before, and you were very normal about that and definitely didn't dwell on it for 3 business days.
"Getting shy on me? Because you certainly don't look shy in that picture."
You whined. "Wonie, please delete it, it's so embarrassing."
A small chuckle filtered through the receiver. Had he always sounded that attractive over the phone?
"You sure we're talking about the same picture? Because what I'm looking atโฆ" he trailed off, leaving you to wonder where his thoughts were going.
"You're still looking at it," you nearly hissed in disbelief.
"Why wouldn't I? It's a nice picture. And if I'm not mistaken," his voice dipped lower, not a lot, but enough, "you're also wearing my shirt."
Of course he would be the one to notice that. You knew taking pics in his room had been a bad idea.
But you also felt soโฆconfident while doing it.
"You let me borrow shirts all the time, I fail to see why that's incriminating."
You did your best to keep your voice neutral, but the small hum he let out in response had the threads of your sanity fraying the longer you stayed on the phone.
"Just an observation. Was kinda hard to tell though, since you're almost not even wearing itโ"
"Jungwon!" You looked around your empty apartment, checking to make sure you were still alone, as if your outburst would cause someone to randomly appear in the room with you.
"Hey, I'm just pointing out what I'm seeing," you could almost imagine him with his hands held up in defense. "I'm not complaining either."
The conversation was taking aโฆbit more of an unexpected turn that you thought it would have. It definitely wasn't affecting you in any way, how he was talking to you. (It absolutely was affecting you.)
As if your body wanted to betray your delusions, you noticed then that your palm was sweaty and you had to readjust your grip on your phone.
It impressed you a little bit, not that you'd give him the satisfaction of knowing it, that he was able to tell the shirt was his since it was a dark blue color and the lighting in the room was also blueish in hue. You'd been very intentional about how you wanted the lighting to accentuate the shadows and highlights in the space.
If he only noticed the shirt, you could probably avoid being flustered into oblivion. He wasn't the biggest on attention to detail sometimes, so you breathed a little easier.
"Waitโฆis thatโ is that my room?"
Alright so maybe he paid a bit more attention to detail than you thought.
"Uhโ" you couldn't lie to him, you'd never been able to. "Yes."
Jungwon let out what sounded almost like a pained noise.
"Shit, ok, uhโ" nervous laughter you were unfamiliar with graced your ears. "That's, uhโ yeah."
You remembered at that moment how you were posing in the picture and you seriously wanted the ground to swallow you whole.
You were on your knees on Jungwon's bed, the same bed you slept in later that exact night, with him next to you. Your legs were slightly spread apart, thighs bare since you'd forgotten to bring shorts with you. Your hands tangled in the shirt as you were pulling it up; the hem of the shirt was only halfway up your chest, still covering you but barely. The look on your face in the picture as you stared at Jungwon's mirror was one that even you couldn't deny looked seductive.
You thought you heard Jungwon sigh; either that, or his breathing was off. "Listen, Iโ"
"I didn't mean to send it to you," you couldn't hold it in anymore. The words rushed out almost all at once, jumbled and incomprehensible to someone who didn't know any better. But you could tell by the shift you felt that Jungwon heard every word clearly.
"You didn'tโฆ mean to send itโฆ to me?" He sounded like he was trying out the words for the first time in that order, saying them like they didn't feel right.
You gulped. "Yeah. I-I didn't."
Rustling could be heard from the other side and you desperately wanted to know what was going through his head.
"So you mean to tell me," his tone was much more stoic than it had been before, "that you took pictures looking like thatโ in my room, wearing my shirt, sitting like that on my bed."
He sounded guarded, unlike his usual tone with you. Your skin prickled as you waited for him to continue.
"You were posing in front of my mirror," a brief pause, "and you didn't mean to send it to me?"
You nodded, even though he couldn't see it. "Right. I meant to send it toโ"
"I don't wanna know," Jungwon was quick to cut you off. "It's better if I don't know, actually." He added the last part softer, almost like he didn't want you to hear it.
Your heart thumped painfully in your chest. "Wonie, I'm sorryโ"
"Nothing to be sorry for," he sounded a little more like himself, maybe even like he was smiling like he would whenever he wanted to comfort you, but you could see through it. "It was a mistake. Accidents happen. Doesn't mean I'm upset with you."
"I know, butโฆ I'm still sorry." Your grasp on the phone was tight enough that you could feel the pain start to spread through your knuckles with how taut they were.
"Don't be." A moment of silence before he continued with what you knew this time was a sigh. "I need to go."
He hadn't said 'I should go' or 'I have to do something,' he said 'I need to go.'
The very specific phrasing had you panicking internally as you scrambled to fix thisโ whatever this was. "Wait, pleaseโ"
"I'll talk to you later," Jungwon ignored your plea for him to stay. You tried to swallow past the lump in your throat.
"Wonieโฆ"
"Whoever it's meant for is lucky, though," he added quietly, making your breath catch. "And they better know it."
He hung up before you could answer. The dial tone had never seemed so loud.
You sat in the stifling silence of your room for a few minutes, replaying your conversation and trying to pinpoint exactly where you went wrong. The more you mulled it over, it didn't seem like Jungwon had really been bothered by the picture itself, but more so the fact that you didn't mean to send it to him.
Maybe you hadn't been imagining the possessive edge to his tone when he was talking about you being in his room wearing his clothes on his bed.
And maybe Jungwon just needed to leave to go hang out with the guys. Which would be a totally reasonable explanation as to why he would suddenly end the conversationโฆ and also not invite you to tag alongโฆ
There wasn't much time to fixate on it further before your phone was going off again, but this time someone different was calling.
"Hello?" There was a small waver to your voice because your emotions were a little all over the place at the moment but you thought you managed to hide it well.
"Hey, hope I'm not bothering you," Jay was on the other end, sounding almost as confused as you were. "Do you have any idea why Won just left the apartment suddenly in the middle of the night? He's not answering his phone, so I figured if anyone knew where he went it would be you."
Your stomach lurched.
"No, he didn't say โ I thought he was going somewhere with you guys."
You could picture Jay shaking his head. "Nah, he just walked out of his room and left. I don't think he even took anything like a bag with him and it's supposed to storm soon."
"I talked to him on the phone a few minutes ago but all he said was he needed to go โ he's not answering when you call?"
"He hasn't answered me or Hee. I'd get Jake to try but I doubt that would work if us trying already didn't."
A feeling of guilt had clawed its way into your chest, weighing you down with each passing moment. Jungwon wasn't the type to just leave without saying something; he'd tell at least one of his friends, if he didn't already tell you.
Maybe you fucked up more than you thought.
"If he shows up there, call me, yeah? I'm not super worried, really, butโ this does seem kinda off."
You gulped. "Yeah, of course. You'll be the first to know if I find out anything."
"Thanks, and same here if we hear something before you do."
You hung up the phone after saying goodbye to Jay and wracked your brain as to where Jungwon could be. It was the middle of the night, there was bound to be rain soon so he probably wouldn't be outside, and it was somewhere he wanted to be right nowโ
You made up your mind and grabbed an umbrella along with your keys on the way out of your apartment, already knowing where to look first.
The dance studio โ that was the only place that made reasonable sense. You tried a few other places before that, but honestly you should've just started with the studio to begin with.
You parked your car and noticed right away that Jungwon's car wasn't there, meaning he must've walked, despite it being later in the evening. The idea made your stomach twist further when you remembered Jay told you he left without a bag or anything.
The behavior was so unlike Jungwon. No wonder you were all worried.
You got out of the car and hesitated before you walked up to the front door of the studio. There wasn't a light on inside that you could see through the windows, but the feeling in your gut compelled you to try the doorknob anyway. When you did, it turned easily under your hand, and the door creaked open slowly.
Luckily for you, your intuition was right. It usually was when Jungwon was involved.
Light was peeking through underneath one of the doors down the hallway. It looked to be coming from the last room, if your perception could be trusted, which would also make sense because Jungwon preferred practicing in there anyway.
Music got louder as you made your way down the hall. You took a deep breath, hoping that Jungwon might not be here and maybe he went out to grab something quick and was already back home.
Another part of you hoped he was here and you weren't about to walk in on some stranger just trying to enjoy some alone time while they danced.
You wouldn't know until you tried โ so with a cautious hand, you turned the door handle and gently pushed the door open. Without thinking, you locked it out of habit once you stepped in the room.
Inside the room was Jungwon, dancing more aggressively than you'd ever seen him dance before. Music was playing from his phone over the speaker in the room. You quickly texted Jay to let him know, heartbeat picking up slightly at his last response.
[jay๐โโฌ] 9:35 PM: thanks for letting me know
[jay๐โโฌ] 9:35 PM: take care of him, yeah? you're the person who does it the best
You would deal with what that could possibly mean at a later time. Right now: Jungwon.
With your eyes fixed on him now, there was a certain kind of ferocity to his moves that took your breath away. His expression that you could see through the mirror, however, hurt your chest.
His brows were furrowed in frustration and he was biting his bottom lip, hard enough that you figured it had to hurt. He was hitting every move with careful precision, but near the end of the song, he fumbled and fell to the floor, hard.
"Jungwon!" You couldn't help the cry you let out, surely inaudible to him due to the loud music that was still playing.
Jungwon sat himself up and stretched his legs out in front of him. He smacked the hardwood floor with his hand as he shouted "Fuck!"
He buried his head in his hands, pulling at the blonde strands of his hair while the music died down before the loop of audio started again.
There was no way you could sit back and watch him like this, you had to do something.
Even if you were the last person he wanted to see right now, even if he wanted nothing to do with you โ he was still your best friend. He was still your Jungwon.
You ran over to him, steps barely making any sound since you were wearing lighter shoes. When you were beside him, you crouched down. One hand already was reaching out, but you didn't want to startle him, so you just hoped he'd be able to hear you.
"Wonie?" You said it as loudly as you could without yelling, still trying to do it softly even though there was just no way it would come out like that.
Jungwon flinched before he slowly removed his hands from his face. He looked over at you like he almost couldn't believe you were there next to him. His expression was pained, and you had no idea how to fix it.
He lowered the volume of the music so you didn't have to yell to be heard. "Why are you here?"
The sound of his voice broke your heart. He sounded defeated almost, and whether it was about him missing a move or something else, you still weren't sure.
"I needed to come see you. Needed to make sure you were ok."
He scoffed and looked away, the sound devastating you even further. "Why? It's not like I'm on your mind."
Ouch.
"Wonie, just talk to me, please," you tried to plead, to make him see sense.
"What is there to talk about? I'm here dancing, like usual. Nothing's wrong. You came all this way for nothing."
That may have actually been the first time Jungwon lied to you and you knew he was lying. And fuck, if that didn't also hurt.
"Why are you lying? Are you that upset with me?" You were trying not to let any tears fall but you had been through such an emotional roller coaster in the last hour alone that it was getting more difficult to hold it in.
Jungwon seemed to soften a little at that, but his jaw was still clenched. He shifted to where he was sitting with his arms propped up on his knees now, the movement making him wince slightly.
"Also you fell, are you hurtโ"
His laughter, devoid of humor, cut you off. "So you saw that? Great." He ran a hand through his hair, almost pulling on the strands. "How long were you watching me fail before you decided to let me know you were here?"
"You weren't failing, it looked like you were doing great to me."
"Maybe you just don't know what to look for."
The coldness of his tone took you by surprise. Even during fights you'd had in the past, Jungwon never seemed this distant with you. It sparked the defensive reaction in you, even though you desperately wanted anything but that to happen right now.
"I've spent countless amounts of hours watching you dance. I think I know what I'm looking at."
He scoffed. "Do you? Do you really?"
His sudden standing made you wobble a bit before you regained your balance. He was walking toward the mirrors, and you followed him with no hesitation.
"Do you really know what you're looking at when you see me? Because I don't think you do."
He was looking at you through the mirror, placing a palm on it for support.
"I see you dancing, I see your movement, I see when you manage to land what looks to be impossible. Wonie, I see how amazing you are when you dance. You come alive when the music plays."
His head turned and the sad smile on his face made your stomach drop.
"Not what I asked you."
He started walking back over to you, his steps almost hesitant. You stayed rooted where you were โ afraid to move, to breathe, to even blink.
You had to find out what was going on, you needed to fix it.
"I'm asking if you see me," Jungwon reiterated, "when you watch me, when you look at me. Or do you see me as just your best friendโ just a person, something indifferent?"
Jungwon was, and always had been, so much more than 'just' anything and you'd tell him endlessly if you had to. But right now, you weren't sure what he was implying, so the thought stayed secure in your head, instead of making itself known like it probably should have.
You frowned. "I'm confused, I don't know what you're asking."
He sighed, the sound heavy like it weighed him down. "Just go home. I'll go back eventually."
His dismissal was what finally broke the dam. Tears fell now and you didn't bother to try and stop them.
"Did I fuck up that bad?"
Your voice was quiet, but it was enough. When Jungwon looked at you, any trace of prior frustration was wiped clean off his face as soon as he saw your lower lip quivering.
"Hey, waitโ"
"I understand if sending that picture fucked up things with us, and- and if you don't want anything to do with me anymoreโ"
"Whoa, hang on a second," he responded in an almost panicked voice. He reached a hand out, not sure where to place it or if he should even place it at all.
"โI need to hear it from you." You looked him in the eyes as you said it, before you angled your body away. "I need to know that's what you want."
"What I want," Jungwon placed both hands on your shoulders to turn you so you were facing him, his tone gentler now, "is for you to listen to me. Who said anything about you fucking up?"
You let out a shallow breath. "That's what this is about, isn't it? I fucked up our friendship by doing something stupid."
"No, no, you didn't do anything like that. Hey," Jungwon tilted your chin so you'd face him again, "I mean it."
He had said it with conviction, and you so badly wanted to believe him.
"Then why- why were you acting like I don't see you for who you are, or whatever the hell that meant?" You didn't want to raise your voice but it was getting harder to tame that urge. "Why are you acting like you can't stand to be near me?"
The last words came out as a sob. His hand fell from your chin while the other dropped from your shoulder.
"It's not that I don't want to be around you."
"Then what is it, Jungwon? You're giving me mixed signals." Some thoughts you had kept hidden away for a long time were filtering their way through now, words like 'mixed signals' being thrown around because you were at a loss.
"I don't know how you want me to answer that."
You inhaled, the move somewhat shaky since you'd been crying. "Answering honestly would be a good start."
Jungwon dragged a hand down his face. "Fuckโ fine. Fine." He took a deep breath before he continued.
"It's because being around you makes this harder."
Thatโฆ wasn't what you'd been expecting to hear. You didn't really know what you were expecting, but it definitely wasn't that.
"Makes what harder? I don't understandโ"
Jungwon groaned, walking closer to the mirrors again. You followed instantly, like there was a magnetic pull between the two of you.
"It makes denying how I feel about you harder, ok?" His voice had raised somewhat, hand running through his hair again. "Please don't ask me to explain, because I don'tโ I'm not sure I can do that."
"Denyingโฆ how you feel?"
Jungwon gulped before he nodded.
"And how do you feel?"
Jungwon sighed, the sound rough, uneven. "Please don't make me do this. I can'tโ I won't mess up what we have. It's worth everything to me," his voice was quieter now.
At some point he must have stopped the music playing from his phone without you realizing because you couldn't hear it in the background anymore, leaving you plenty of opportunity to notice when he spoke softer.
The gears in your brain were turning and you thought that maybe, just maybe, you understood what path he was trying to go down. Your heart was slamming against your chest, beating much too fast for what was probably appropriate, but if he was saying what you thought he wasโ
Well, sometimes the risk was worth the reward, right?
"Jungwon," you started, "I love you."
A small smirk graced his lips, but you couldn't tell if it was one of amusement or one of disbelief. "I know. I love you, tooโ"
"Wonie," you interrupted, stepping closer to where you were right in front of him. "I love you."
Your emphasis on the word 'love' was clear.
Jungwon's breath hitched. His eyes searched yours, like he was trying to decipher a riddle you had just dropped on him. "โฆwhat are you saying?"
Well, no turning back now.
You took a deep breath and shut your eyes for a brief moment before you looked at him with all your vulnerability bared.
"I'm in love with you. And I'm tired of pretending that I'm not."
The way Jungwon's eyes widened made you panic internally for all of maybe 2 seconds before the most beautiful smile you'd ever seen adorned his face.
"No way," he breathed, laughing a little at the end. "No fucking way." His hands cupped your face as his thumbs gently brushed against your cheeks. "You're not fucking with me, are you?"
It was somewhat hard to shake your head in his hold but you still managed. "Never."
Jungwon pulled you into a tight, nearly suffocating hug and buried his face in your shoulder.
"Me too," he said softly. His embrace loosened a little, so as not to crush you, but he didn't dare move away.
"You too?"
He lifted his head, face mere inches away from yours as his arms remained wrapped around you.
"I'm in love with you, too. I'm so fucking gone for you, I have been for a long time."
Hearing him mirror your confession made your heart do a weird little stutter, but you didn't have long to process it before he was speaking again.
"I've been so terrified of ruining our friendship, which means more to me than anything else in the world, other than you." His eyes were shining, full of emotion.
"The night we slept in my bedโ don't remind me about the next morning," he immediately stopped you when your mouth opened the slightest amount. He knew that mischievous look on your face better than anyone else.
You giggled and let him continue.
"That night was the closest I'd come to throwing caution to the wind and confessing."
"Why didn't you?" You brushed a strand of hair back from his face, delighted in the way the small movement seemed to affect him.
Jungwon laughed, a sound you loved dearly. "Well, what was I supposed to say? 'Hey, it's driving me crazy being this close to you in my bed while you're wearing my shirt and looking like thatโ also I'm very much in love with you, by the way.'"
It was your turn to laugh fully as you laid your forehead on his shoulder. One of his hands came up to rest on the back of your head, while the other arm was still curled around your waist.
"I mean, had you said that, I wouldn't have been opposedโ"
Jungwon scoffed teasingly, making you look back up at him. "Of course you would say that."
"You got a problem with it," you teased him.
He smiled. "Not at all."
The silence after was comfortable, and you could feel the charged energy sparking between the two of you. Jungwon broke the silence first, bringing his hand from the back of your head to caress the side of your face.
"Can I kiss you?"
"Please," you responded instantly, wanting to feel his lips against yours more than you wanted anything else in that moment. Jungwon wasted no time leaning in and claiming your mouth with his own.
You'd often imagined what it would feel like to kiss Jungwon, and in every scenario your brain conjured up, you always deemed that it would feel amazing no matter what. Your imagination couldn't even begin to compare to the actual feeling.
His lips moved against yours with a slow, tender rhythm. He wasn't trying to rush anything, savoring the taste of you as you melted against him. His movements were purposeful and gentle, but with just enough pressure to take your breath away. Kissing him felt right, it felt like you were whole, it felt likeโ
Kissing Jungwon felt like home.
When he finally pulled away, his eyes were still closed and he was breathing hard. He rested his forehead against yours.
"Fuck, so much better than I thought it would be," he sounded breathless. You smiled and looked down, surprised to see the tiniest bit of shaking in his knees.
"Wonie? Your kneesโ"
He chuckled. "Oh right, that. Guess 'weak in the knees' isn't just a phrase after all."
You laughed at his silly response, trying to ignore how you were rapidly heating up inside.
Kissing you made Jungwon's knees weak. You had that much of an effect on him. The revelation was doing things to you.
This time, you were the one who flustered him as you took the lead, pulling him closer by fisting your hands in his shirt. His answering grunt at the impact made your stomach flip.
Jungwon took the opportunity to walk forward as you were kissing, his hands firm on your waist as he guided you backward. His lips didn't leave yours, and the way he deepened the kiss while still making sure you didn't fall as you walked drew a noise from you that he seemed to really like.
Your back collided with a surface, the thud making you gasp into Jungwon's mouth. His fingers curled tighter around your waist.
"Fuck, sorry," he breathed before he started trailing kisses along your jaw. "Can't believe I get to see you like this."
Your fists clenched in his shirt as he went further, leaving light touches along your neck that intensified the lower he went.
"Can't believe I get to hear you like this." He brushed his lips against a particularly sensitive spot on your neck and you whined at the sensation. You could feel Jungwon's pleased smirk against your skin.
"Can't believe I get to touch you like this." He emphasized his words by squeezing you where his hands were holding you by the waist.
His face was in front of yours again, eyes searching for a moment before you saw a breathtaking smile.
"Can't believe you're mine."
You leaned in for another kiss with a false sense of gentleness before you pulled him closer by the grip you had on his shirt. Your lips landed on his with a hunger you didn't bother trying to tame.
You'd waited so long for even a chance for something like this to happen, there was no way you were holding back now. Especially not when Jungwon was this receptive to it.
The noise you swallowed down from him had you noticing the way you were already soaked from just this little bit of intimacy.
When Jungwon finally managed to pull away โ begrudgingly, it looked like โ his eyes found yours.
"Are you?" He asked it softly, almost like he was scared of the answer.
"Am I what?"
Jungwon brushed a piece of hair from your face before his palm rested against your cheek.
"Mine."
You smiled so big that if your face could've cracked it surely would have โ smiling so hard that it almost hurt.
"Always have been."
Jungwon's deep groan as he pressed his body up against yours was driving you crazy.
"Fuck, god, that'sโ you have no idea how long I've wanted to hear that. How long I've wanted this," his thumbs brushed along your hip from where his hands were still holding onto you for dear life, "how long I've wanted you."
You wound your arms around his neck, pressing yourself up against him until you could feel him. He was just as affected as you were by all this, which made you happy in a way you'd never quite felt before.
"Then show me."
His smirk was deadly. "Right now? In here? You sure you want that, baby?"
This man was going to be the death of you, what the fuckโ
"What if someone else came in, hm?" His tone was playful, but the look in his eyes made you wonder how much of it was meant in jest. "You want people to see you, to hear you while I make you mine?"
You gulped. "I locked the door, soโ"
"Oh? Look at you, thinking ahead," his thumbs skirted around the hem of your shirt, just barely pushing it up.
"I did it without thinking," you tried to clarify, but your body betrayed you when he placed another kiss on that same sensitive spot he found earlier.
"Sure, baby, sure. I believe you." His hands were fully underneath your shirt now, still lingering around your waist. The feeling of skin on skin made you shiver. "Gonna let me take care of you?"
You nodded, ready for whatever Jungwon was about to do and if he didn't do it soon you might have actually started whining for real.
A ghost of a kiss graced your lips, barely there but still enough.
"Can I touch you?"
You nodded a little too fast, making Jungwon chuckle at your eagerness before he shook his head.
"Have to hear you, sweet girl. Tell me what you want."
"Please, Wonie," you mumbled the words against his lips, "touch me."
Jungwon moaned against your mouth. "Fuck, hearing you say my name like thatโ god, I can't explain what it does to me."
He held you against the wall behind you with one hand while he dipped his other one into the front of your sweats, taking his time even as you trembled with want in his hold. He brushed lightly over your panties and the way you flinched made his eyes widen.
"Holy shit, really? That sensitive?"
"Don't make fun of me," you whined out, eyes shut as you prepared yourself forโฆ well honestly anything, because it appeared that no matter what Jungwon did it was going to wreck you.
"No, baby, never, I'm not making fun of youโ it's hot as fuck, are you kidding me?"
He teased you again, pressing firmer against your clit through the fabric. The wetness he felt despite not actually touching you properly yet made his breath stutter.
"All this for me? God," Jungwon sounded amazed, "you're unreal."
"Please," you pleaded, hoping he'd actually touch you like he said he would.
"Fuck, ok, I got you," his tongue darted out to wet his lips as he pushed your panties to the side. His fingers caressed your folds gently, rubbing against your clit in slow, rhythmic circles.
"Wonie," you moaned out his name, making the rhythm of his hand falter.
"Ah, I can't get used to that," Jungwon threw his head his head back to get hair out of his eyes, "you sound so fucking pretty for me."
He caught your eyes as he teased your entrance with one finger, checking to make sure that this was ok, that you were ok.
"Please," you repeated it like a broken record. You wouldn't be surprised if by the end of the night you only knew that word and some form of Jungwon's name.
He didn't hesitate, moving inside you with a steady pace, one that had you clinging now to the back of his shirt. A sharp gasp left you when he hit a familiar spot. You tried to muffle your sounds by biting your lip, but Jungwon wasn't having that.
He pulled your bottom lip down from where your teeth were holding it, smoothing over it with his thumb. "Let it out, baby. Need to hear how I'm making you feel."
You moaned then, unrestrained, and felt how his thumb pressed against your lip in response before he placed his hand back on your hip.
Jungwon added another finger, managing to make you come undone with just two of them. Usually it would probably take more of this, but honestly you had no doubt that Jungwon could make you come untouched if he really tried hard enough.
You were sure he'd probably try that one dayโ if this was something that continued.
But now wasn't the time for those thoughts. Now was the time to focus on the beautiful man in front of you who you'd been dreaming about for years now, hoping to maybe experience a fraction of this with him even if it was just one time.
"You're so responsive, it's driving me crazy," Jungwon said the words with his tone full of wonder. "You sound like you're already closeโ"
"I am," you tried to warn him as your hand shot out to grasp his wrist โ not to make him stop, but to encourage him to keep going. "Please don't stop."
"Wouldn't dream of it," he said the words against the column of your throat, finding that spot inside you over and over again, drawing you closer to your peak.
"God, I wish you could see yourself," he placed kisses anywhere he could on your face. "So beautiful."
When your moans started rising in pitch, you chanced a look at Jungwon. He looked like he'd been studying your reactions โ every twitch of your body, every time your eyebrows furrowed, each time your mouth hung open in a silent scream of pleasure. He was studying you the same way he did a new dance routine, taking it all in until the motions were as easy as breathing for him.
He also had a devious expression on his face, which somehow, confusingly, made you even more aroused.
"Hey, baby?"
He was still moving, but the questioning tone took you off guard. "Y-yeah?"
It sounded way too casual for someone who was currently pulling downright depraved noises out of you.
"Got an idea โ can I try something?"
"Does it involve you stopping, because please no," you sounded desperate, but if he truly did want to to stop you absolutely would with no questions asked. You had a feeling that wasn't what he was implying, though.
He chuckled and placed a kiss on your forehead. "I'll only stop for a second, but it'll be worth it, I promise."
You pretended to think about it, knowing damn well you'd happily and very willingly let this man do pretty much anything he wanted to you.
"Go ahead, but make it quick."
Your tone was clearly teasing, and you knew Jungwon got the vibe of it from the way he smiled.
Before you could comprehend what was happening, you were suddenly being turned around. Your hands shot out to brace yourself, and what you thought was a wall in fact wasn't one at all.
You came face to face with your own reflection โ eyes glassy, lips swollen, breathing hard. And behind you stood Jungwon, looking just as much a mess, if not even more than you were. He looked beautiful like this, ethereal.
His stare in the mirror was lethal, and he kept his eyes on you as he gave your earlobe a gentle tug with his teeth. He pressed closer to you against your back when you moaned at the feeling.
He placed a kiss on your neck right underneath you ear before he finally said words you didn't know you'd been waiting to hear.
"You're gonna watch while I make you fall apart."
His hand found you again, and he slipped three fingers inside this time, the stretch surprising but not unwelcome. Jungwon grunted at the way you clenched around his fingers as your body jerked in his hold.
You had no time to react before you were moaning louder, eyes shut tightly, the feeling overwhelming you in all the best ways. The effort to open your eyes was overpowered by the intense pleasure coursing through you, but Jungwon wasn't having it.
"Keep those pretty eyes open for me," he mumbled the words against the exposed part of your shoulder, desire coating every syllable. "I meant what I said โ you're gonna watch."
Your eyes barely blinked open as you tried to obey, but your head kept dropping down; Jungwon must've decided that he should give you some help.
His 'help' came in the form of a hand curving around your jaw from behind, holding your face in place as his fingers moved faster inside of you. Your back was flush against his chest now with the new positioning, and you could tell through the multiple layers of clothing just how bad he was aching for you โ how hard he was for you.
He breathed along the shell of your ear, grunting when he felt your hips moving. "Fuck, do you know how many times I've thought about this? About watching you come undone for me?"
He ground against you, chasing the friction he so desperately wanted while you continued to melt in his hands.
You shook your head when you remembered he had asked you a question. "I don't knowโ but me too."
"Shit, you've thought about this too, yeah? Me ruining you with just my fingers?" He increased his pace and one of your hands grabbed his arm that was in front of you. Your nails dug in slightly, making him go even harder.
"Yes, yes Wonie," you answered truthfully, because honestly, you'd probably pictured him with you in every explicit way possible at this point.
"Fuck," you felt him moving against you more, somewhat matching the rhythm of his hand that was showing you no mercy. The way he was pushing you up against the mirror now with his own movements made you feel one separation away from going actually feral. You were close enough that your breath fogged up the glass as you tried to keep yourself together.
"Close, baby?" His own breaths were coming out in shorter pants now, and you could feel when he moaned against your cheek as he placed a tender kiss there. "Gonna cum for me?"
"Wonie, fuck, all for you." Your release was approaching quickly, and you still tried your hardest to keep your eyes open.
"All for meโonly for me," Jungwon spoke the words against your neck. You trembled in his hold.
"C'mon, give it to me," he continued. He stared at you through the mirror, his eyes determined, his bottom lip caught by his teeth. When he let it go, he leaned in closer, still keeping eye contact with you before he said what would ultimately be your undoing.
"I need it."
As the pleasure rippled through your body, your back arched and your head landed against his shoulder behind you. He held you through your climax, only letting up on his relentless pace when your moans turned more into whines of oversensitivity.
"Fuck," Jungwon almost sounded more out of breath than you did. "Came so good for me. Looked so beautiful, just like I always knew you would."
You tried to catch your breath as you gave him a lazy smile through the mirror. Jungwon carefully pulled his fingers out, focused so intensely on making sure he didn't overstimulate you that he almost missed your response. The sight of him sucking your essence from his fingers made you become the one more weak in the knees this time.
He hummed around his fingers before he pulled them back out. "Taste so good, too."
The sudden change as he went about fixing your clothing was unexpected, but not unwelcome. His gentle movements and the kiss he placed on top of your head made you feel warm and fuzzy inside for a completely different reason.
But if he thought you were done, he was wildly mistaken because you were far from it.
You turned in his hold, his arms releasing you easily. As you pulled him in for a kiss, you moved one hand down until you could feel him. The surprised moan he let out as soon as you touched him over his clothes had to be one of the hottest sounds you'd ever heard in your entire life.
"Oh fuck, didn't think I'd be that sensitive, ha," Jungwon's eyes were having a hard time staying open now โ something you would inevitably tease him about later.
"Gonna let me return the favor, Wonie?" Your tone was teasing, playful, but the movements of your hand were a stark contrast, if the noises escaping him were anything to go by.
He managed to open his eyes again before he nodded. "Yeah, yeah, ahโ please."
Without wasting anymore time, you fell to your knees in front of him. You dragged your mouth along the bulge in his sweats, and he cursed above you.
Jungwon found it hard to look at you, and you could see his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides like he didn't know how to handle what was happening. "God, you on your knees for me, fuckโ"
"Wonie," you said the word against him before your hands went to his waistband. "Look at me."
"Might not be the best idea if you want me to last literally any time at all," Jungwon rushed the words out, resulting in a giggle from you. You really did love this man.
"You can do it, can't you? For me?"
You were using the most sickly-sweet tone you could. Which, honestly, probably wasn't fair because you knew how it made him feel to hear you like that.
With a groan, Jungwon obeyed to the best of his ability. The look in his eyes spurred you on with a renewed sense of vigor, and the way his bottom lip was captured once again between his teeth in anticipation almost ruined you again right there on the floor.
"Want you to watch me," you continued with a quick kiss over his sweats before you started pulling them down. You stopped for only a moment to make sure it was ok, and his vigorous nod was all the answer you needed.
Jungwon's head tilted back when you palmed him again, this time through one less layer. A deep groan rumbled from his throat. "Holy fuck. God, you'reโ I can't believe what I'm seeing right now."
When he looked back down at you, the smile you graced him with was nothing short of radiant, and you could tell by how it made his breath hitch. When you finally had all clothing out of the way, you just had to admire him for a few seconds because he had the prettiest cock you'd ever seen.
You couldn't help the small laugh you let out when you saw him twitch because you were staring.
"You, uhโ like what you see?"
Poor baby sounded so nervous, you had to put this man out of his misery. You wrapped a hand around him and he hissed at the contact.
"Love it," a slow stroke of your hand made him twitch again, this time in your hold. "So pretty, Wonie."
"Pretty is, uh, an interesting word that's for sure," he cut himself off with a moan when you placed a quick kiss on the tip. "How am I gonna survive thisโ"
"Just let me take care of you, ok?" A gentle tone to coincide with the slow drags of your hand was the perfect combo to have him already losing his mind even though you'd barely started. You had one more trick up your sleeve and you had to see if it would have the effect you were thinking it might.
"Oh, and Wonie?"
He hummed in response, the hum shifting quickly into a grunt when you added a little more pressure. He looked down at you and you gave him your most devious smile.
"It's my turn now to watch you fall apart."
The way Jungwon's head hit the mirror behind him when you took him into your mouth would've concerned you, had it not been for the sound of pure pleasure that he let out. His hands were reaching behind him as well, scrambling against the glass for something to hold onto and failing miserably.
You teased him for a few more seconds before you pulled back, giggling at the way his eyes were shut tight after he'd been the one making you keep yours open. You kept stroking him with a rhythm that had his hands pressing against the mirror once more.
"Can't keep your eyes on me, baby?" Jungwon twitched in your hand at the pet name; you truly loved the effect you had on this man. He opened his eyes just barely to peek at you before quickly shutting them again.
"If you don't want me to โ fuck โ cum down your throat in like 5 seconds then yeah, I fear I can't look at you."
The teasing tone made you feel a different kind of warmth inside, because as serious as he was (probably) being, he was still the same, silly Wonie you fell in love with.
"Who says I can't make you cum again?"
"Ok, what the actual fuckโ you can't just say shit like that and," he paused to swallow down a moan, "expect me to be normal after."
"Wonie, just let go." You reached out and took one of his hands, placing it on top of your head. When you did the same with the other one, his eyes snapped open.
"Oh my godโ"
"You can be rough with me, you know." The way Jungwon nearly fell over at your words proved to you that no, he did not know that, but you were determined that he could learn.
"You're sure," he panted out the question, already pulling your hair after every stroke of your hand made him jolt. "I don't, ah, wanna get carried away."
"It's ok, Wonie," you placed a kiss on his thigh as reassurance, but the soft gesture had probably the opposite effect.
And you loved it.
It seemed you had instead managed to spur him on and convince him to finally let go, because as soon as you took him back into your mouth, the way he thrusted was anything but gentle.
It didn't take long for him to find a steady pace. He was still careful to not completely destroy your throat (even if you kind of wanted him to), but tears were still pooling in the corners of your eyes anyway.
"Fuck, I love you, what the fuck," his hands fisted strands of your hair harshly, the sting of the pain making you moan around him. The vibrations made his hips stutter, and another wave of arousal singed your insides with its heat.
You didn't want to take your mouth off of him, so you blindly reached up to grab one of his hands. His eyes shot open and he slowed to a stop.
"Fuck, I'm sorry, are you ok? Am I being too rough?"
Still, very stubbornly, not wanting to take him out of your mouth, you shook your head as easily as you could. You intertwined your fingers with his hand you were holding now as you kept going. Jungwon's head hit the glass again, the thud sounding much more painful this time.
"Fuck, ok, just, if you need to like โ fuck โ stop or something, let me know, ok?"
A reassuring squeeze of his hand was all he needed to pick up right where he left off. His sounds were coming out quicker now, and you could feel him twitching in your mouth every few thrusts.
"Close, close, babyโ"
As much as you wanted to keep going until your mouth was quite literally full of him, you needed to know what he wanted. You pulled off of him and inhaled, your lungs grateful for the air you didn't realize you'd been depriving yourself of.
"Where do you want it?"
"God, fuck, anywhere, justโah," Jungwon was breaking down right before your eyes, other hand gripping your hair with a fierceness you didn't really know he had. "You chooseโ"
"Down my throat," the words sounded better coming from you than you thought they would, considering you didn't usually say things like that. "I wanna taste you."
Jungwon shuddered, nodding with his head rubbing against the glass. "Fuck, okโ won't be long, uh," he trailed off, letting out another alluring moan as he fixed his stare on you.
"This is what you want? You're sure?"
Even if Jungwon had to be moments away from spilling down your throat, it warmed your heart how he still managed to put your comfort above his own pleasure, just as you would do with him. He always put you first.
Always had. Always will.
Nodding wouldn't be efficient enough, you needed him to know just how badly you did want this. With a shred of courage (and honestly a hint of sheer curiosity) you let go of his hand just enough to wrap your pinky around his.
Your shared signal over all these years โ you had no idea how this would go, but you couldn't think of a better way to convey how much you wanted to keep going.
And the reaction you got was better than anything you'd ever seen in your dreams.
The sound that left Jungwon's throat was one you weren't sure he made at first; it just sounded soโฆ raw. It reverberated in that part of the room, where he was up against the mirror with you on your knees, taking him in.
You were already aching for him again, every sound driving you a little more crazy, every falter in movement making you throb with want. And now that you'd had a taste, you'd probably never be satiated by anyone but Jungwon ever again.
"I fucking love you, oh my god, you're perfect, Iโ" Jungwon tried to swallow down his next moan, instead succeeding in only biting his lip. "โcumming, fuck!"
Those few words were all you got for a warning before you felt him fill your mouth. You swallowed down everything you could, mindful of how his hand on the back of your head helped steady you as he was still squeezing your pinky with his.
As soon as he lifted his hand from your head, he helped you stand up, despite the fact that he was still trying to catch his breath. You were barely steady before he pulled you into another heated kiss, this one more sensual but still with the same amount of intensity as before. If he could taste himself on your tongue, he really didn't seem to care at all.
After a few more shared kisses, Jungwon pulled back and rested his forehead against yours. "I'm not dreaming, right? This is real?"
"It better fucking be or you're going to deal with a very annoyed me tomorrow."
Jungwon laughed, the sound thankfully so much brighter and happier than when you first got here earlier. "So like, a regular day. Got it."
You playfully tapped his arm. "I am not always that bad."
"No, you're not." Jungwon agreed. "But I am always the one taking care of you."
"In more ways than one it would seem," you smiled as you brushed some strands of hair out of his eyes.
"In all the ways you'll let me, for as long as you let me." Jungwon looked at you with a softness in his eyes that you'd seen so many times before, but never quite knew what it meant.
After all these years, you finally found the answer: love.
there is an intended drabble about once they go back to his apartment that will hopefully follow in the near future! i felt like this was getting a little long and this would be a good place to stop for now (thank you @mentallymaroon for the reassurance also ๐ฉต)
Shopping with your boyfriend takes a turn when you decide to see just how far you can push him
๐ Pairing: boyfriend!parkjongseong x reader
๐ Word Count: 6.3k
๐ Genre: Established relationship, fluff, pwp, smut
๐ Rating: 18+
๐ Warnings: Teasing, explicit language, making out, biting, groping, dom!jay, dirty talk, dressing room shenanigans, marking kink goes crazy, brief choking, brief spanking, scratching, explicit sexual content, fooling around in front of a mirror, exhibitionist vibes, rough fingering, multiple orgasms, overstimulation, hair pulling, mention of safe word, crying, covering mouth, cum eating, a diabolical Jay visual
A/N: Hi! I'm new to writing for Enha but not new to writing in general. It only felt fitting to start by writing for my ult ๐คฉ Thank you so much for taking the time to read this if you do, and I hope you enjoy! And a huge thank you to my best friend and fave writer @fatalhee for being my biggest supporter and for always being on this chaotic writing journey with me I love you ๐
Taglist: @fatalhee @illneverrecover @makiakarii
Masterlist
When your boyfriend had initially proposed the idea of you choosing each other's outfits for your anniversary, you had thought it sounded like such a cute and fun idea. You had agreed instantly, excited at the idea of shopping for each other. What you hadn't considered was the part where you would have to watch your boyfriend, who looked good in everything, try on a bunch of clothes and model them for you.ย
โBabe, you know the whole point of this is that you're gonna have to pick one.โ he teased you as you gaped at his latest outfit.
You couldn't help yourself. You swore he looked even hotter each time he stepped out of the dressing room. It really didn't help that his dark slicked back hair was showing the evidence of repeatedly trying on clothes. Several strands had come loose, and yet somehow they fell across his face in the most natural way. God, he was so attractive. It genuinely pissed you off sometimes.
โMaybe if you stopped looking so good in all of them it would be easier for me to make a decision.โ you quipped back.
Your boyfriend stepped closer, lips quirking into a small smile and exposing his dimples that you adored.
โAh, I see. So itโs my fault?โ
โYes, exactly.โ you instantly agreed as your eyes swept over him once more.
He chuckled as he came to stand in front of you, his hands a feather light touch on your waist, โBaby, if this is too difficult for you, then maybe we should just take the clothes out of the equation. I can just go naked. Would that help?โย
Heat immediately bloomed across your face, earning another laugh from your boyfriend. You hung your head and groaned, weakly pushing against his chest.
โGod, youโre insufferable.โ
You tensed when you felt his warm breath brush against your ear, fingers just barely pressing into your hips.
โSo, should I just strip down here, orrrrโฆโ
โOh my god!โ you exclaimed, giving him a light shove, โStop terrorizing me and just go try on the next one.โ
Amusement danced in his eyes, he loved making you flustered like this. He leaned down once more, this time to kiss the top of your head. Your cheeks flushed even deeper.
โAre you pouting because you wanted to undress me yourself?โ he taunted you further, raising an eyebrow as he looked down at you.ย
You opened your mouth to reply, but your boyfriend quickly cut you off, โBecause if thatโs the case, then please, be my guest, angel.โ
You didnโt hesitate to grab him by the shoulders and turn him back towards the fitting room.
โGet your annoying ass in there and show me the next outfit.โ you grumbled, pushing against his broad frame until he was back in front of his room.ย
He wore a shit eating grin when he glanced over his shoulder at you, but then he slipped back inside and shut the door without another word. Giving you a much needed moment of peace. Ugh, that man. You were already having a hard enough time behaving without him egging you on. It was going to take everything in you to keep your composure whenever he stepped back out.ย
Who knew? Maybe the next one would look terrible on him.ย
You were facing the opposite direction when you heard the door swing back open. Everything in you told you not to turn around. It wasnโt safe. Something in you just knew.
โWow, all that fuss and you wonโt even turn around to see how this one looks. Thought you were gonna help me out here, baby.โย
You knew he would just keep teasing you if you didnโt look, so you took a deep breath before slowly turning to face your boyfriend.
FUCKING HELL.
You actually had to grab onto the wall next to you because the threat of your knees crumpling was suddenly very real.ย
โOh my god, Y/N, are you okay?โ your boyfriend asked, genuinely concerned as he made his way over to you.
Having him so close was only making it worse. The white three piece suit was nothing short of devastating on him. The undershirt was tucked into the band of his pants, accentuating his slender waist that drove you crazy. The sleeves of the jacket were rolled up slightly, leaving his forearms exposed.ย
You noted his chunky gold bracelet that matched his necklace, earrings, and ring, the jewelry really standing out against the crisp white ensemble. And his hair falling beautifully and naturally over his handsome faceโฆย
It was all too much. He looked so expensive and classy and sexy. And you were at your limit.
โSweetheart, seriously,โ his voice anchored you back to reality as his hands came up to cradle your face, โare you alright?โ
A small whine escaped you. He was so gorgeous and so sweet and you needed him. Right the fuck now.
You spared a quick glance around at your surroundings to make sure it was just the two of you, and then you were crushing your lips against his like a woman possessed. He let out a sound of surprise, but it was quickly swallowed by your hungry and determined mouth as you backed him down the line of dressing rooms.
โBabe, mmph! Wait.โ he tried to protest against your lips.
You pulled away briefly, staring him down like you were looking at your next meal, โShut up.โ
Your boyfriend's eyes widened at the sharp edge in your voice, stumbling back into his fitting room with you still chasing after his mouth. He grunted as his back met the wall, your lips now trailing along his perfect jawline and lingering on the heart shaped birthmark on the side of his neck. Your tongue and teeth worked over his skin, making a shiver run through him.
You were all need, all desire, as your hand dipped inside his waistband. Strong fingers wrapped around your wrist within seconds, halting your movements. Startled, you looked up.
โWhat do you think youโre doing, princess?โย
His tone was even and calm, but you could still detect the underlying warning. You were so worked up though, especially from his earlier teasing.
โNeed you, baby.โ you said sweetly, moving to kiss him again.
He ducked your lips this time, fixing you with a stern gaze, โI don't think so, doll.โย
You had to resist the urge to stamp your feet like a disgruntled toddler. Your boyfriend chuckled as he looked down at your displeased face.
โWhat were you gonna do, baby? Jerk me off right here with the door wide open, where anyone could just walk in?โ he challenged you as his fingers flexed around your wrist.
Hearing the filthy words leave his mouth did nothing to soothe your already agitated state. And you sure as hell weren't ready to give up just yet. You gazed up at him, fluttering your lashes slightly, and his eyes flared in defiance back at you.ย
โHow about if we close the door, and then you let me suck you off? Iโll be quick, love, promise.โ you pleaded your case, making sure to keep your voice soft and sultry.
He was gonna give in. You just knew it.ย
Your boyfriend slowly released your wrist. Oh you so had him now! He barely paid you any mind as he calmly adjusted his ring and bracelet. God, you were about to give him the best head of his fucking life.ย
You had just started back towards the door to close it, when his voice, cool and authoritative, stopped you dead in your tracks, โIโm gonna give you a couple of options here, darling. You can be a good girl and walk back out there to wait for me so we can finish shopping. Or, you can keep acting like a brat and face the consequences when we get home. It's up to you.โ
You stood there frozen, feeling his eyes practically burning through you from behind. You realized you had one final last ditch effort you could try. The one thing that almost always got you what you wanted. You turned back to face him, shamelessly pouting now. Your boyfriend made a show of crossing his arms, dark eyes daring you to keep testing him. But you were determined to have your way.
โPlease Jay Jay.โ you half whined half begged, using the nickname that always got him to cave.ย
His composure wavered for a fleeting second, enough for you to be able to notice.ย
Before you could even think that maybe youโd finally won, he was standing in front of you. You stumbled back just slightly, but Jayโs hand shot out to secure your jaw in a tight grip. Not enough to hurt you, but enough to let you know that his patience had run out. He turned your head to the side, leaning down to let his lips brush against your ear.
โYou're going to be good and go wait outside the store for me. Iโm not asking you again. Is that understood?โย
His cold and commanding tone left no more room for argument, so you just nodded your head in submission. Finally satisfied, he released you. You quickly walked back out of the fitting room before sulkily strolling out of the store completely. As you stood there waiting for Jay to finish up, you couldn't help but wonder and worry about just what kind of level of fucked you were this timeโฆ
ย You were still mindlessly scrolling on your phone when you felt a hand slip into yours. You glanced up in surprise, but it soon turned into full on shock when you saw that your boyfriend was still wearing the same outfit. You noticed the shopping bag in his free hand that must have held his original clothes.
โWhy are you still wearing that?โย
He gave a casual shrug, โBecause I want to.โ
โSo you hate me.โ was your immediate response, making Jay roll his eyes at you.
โSo dramatic.โ he teased before pressing a quick kiss to your temple, โCome on, brat, it's your turn.โ
You couldn't help the smile that spread across your face as Jay began tugging you along to the next store. You figured you might as well try to make the best of your time shopping since your ass was cooked as soon as you got back home.
Your boyfriend, who was super into fashion, was incredibly focused and meticulous as he picked out things for you to try. You had thought he would just go for dresses, but he was grabbing a little bit of everything. Dresses, jumpsuits, tops, skirts, pants. The list of options was starting to feel endless.
โJaaaaaaay, come on. I didn't even make you try on this many.โ you groaned, stepping out into the hall of fitting rooms in your latest outfit.
Your boyfriend, clearly enjoying tormenting you, slowly let his eyes pass over your figure. He let out a sigh, shaking his head. You weren't sure if you still wanted to jump him, or just kill him at this point.ย
โIโm sorry, angel, they all just look so good. You're making it so hard, I can't choose.โ
Okay yeah you wanted to kill him more. You glared daggers at his back as soon as he turned around to look at some kind of display.
โHey, babe?โ he called back to you.
You took a deep breath to calm yourself before answering, โWhat is it, love?โ
โWhat do you think,โ he queried as he turned to face you, now wearing some semi-rimless framed glasses, โshould I get a pair?โ
Jay knew, he knew you had a thing for him in glasses. Like this was just evil. He really wanted you to turn into a rabid dog in the middle of this store. You opened your mouth to speak, but all that came out was a pathetic whimper.ย
You really didn't trust yourself right now, so you just slipped back into your dressing room and shut the door behind you. A soft knock sounded a moment later.
โWhat do you want, you demon.โ
Jay chuckled from the other side of the door, โOkay. Clearly Iโve tortured you enough. Will you please just try on the last one I gave you, and then I promise Iโll make a decision.โ
โFine.โ you muttered back, irritation still clear in your voice.
โHey, you really have looked good in everything. I wasn't lying about that.โ he voiced, and the sincerity in his words was enough to make all your remaining frustration dissipate.
โIโll be out in just a minute.โ you told him gently, your face warm from his compliment.
The last outfit was a silky royal blue mini dress with a sweetheart neckline and a slit on either side. Jay had selected it for you after saying how nice you looked in blue. You fell in love as soon as you looked at yourself in the floor length mirror. It was a little scandalous for a date but only just. You were probably going to buy it even if Jay didn't pick it for your anniversary.
You poked your head out of your room and found your boyfriend sitting on the bench just outside. He hadn't seen you yet, and you suddenly felt nervous.
โJay?โ you called his name softly, and his head immediately snapped up to find you still concealed behind the door from the neck down.
โIs this the blue one?โ he asked, smiling cutely in anticipation.
You anxiously chewed at your lip and nodded. He leaned back on his palms and looked at you expectantly.
โDonโt get shy on me now, baby. Last one, letโs see.โ
You slowly swung the door open the rest of the way and stepped out. Jayโs eyes immediately widened, his hands curling against the fabric of the bench, โFuck.โ
You giggled at his reaction, your hands smoothing out the dress.
โYou like?โ
Your boyfriend's gaze turned wolfish, licking his lips as his eyes hungrily dragged over your legs, chest, and then finally up to your face. It suddenly felt like you weren't wearing anything at all, and you flushed under his attention.
"Oh, baby, that's the one." he said, voice sounding closer to a growl now.
Fuck.
You slipped back behind the door in a panic, leaving just your head poking out again. And Jay, Jay had the most amused little smirk on his face as he watched you.
"Okay, so great then I'm just gonna change and we can buy this and go." you informed him, your words coming out in a jumbled rush.
You didn't even wait for his response before moving to shut the door the rest of the way. Your boyfriend was immediately on his feet, one hand catching the door at the last minute.
"Jay, what are you-"
"Go stand in front of the mirror." he instructed, cutting you off as he invaded the space.
You blinked at him in surprise, "W-what?"
He stepped further into the room, the door shutting behind him with a resounding click. You swallowed nervously, but your heart betrayed you with just how fast it was racing. God, you were at your fucking limit with this man's teasing and torturing today. Any more and you felt like you'd actually combust.
"I just wanna see something, angel. Stand in front of the mirror for me, yeah?"
His voice was much softer this time, and part of you still knew you shouldn't have trusted it, but you obediently walked over to face your reflection once more. You felt Jay behind you, your breath catching as your eyes found him in the glass. He chuckled darkly, "Relax, baby, I just wanna see how we look together."
You were anything but relaxed as his hands smoothed down your arms, each touch feeling like a jolt of electricity. Jay hummed as he inspected the two of you in the mirror, his hands now trailing over the silk hugging your waist. You shivered in his hold. You couldn't help the way your body always seemed to respond to him. You just always came alive under his touch.
Strong arms circled around your midsection, the simple action appearing so much more possessive when you saw it reflected back at you.
"Why so nervous, sweetheart?" Jay teased, every part of you tensing as his lips brushed against your ear, "I said I would wait until we got home, didn't I?"
His words were saying one thing, but your boyfriend's wicked grin taunting you from the glass was saying something else entirely. Jay held your eyes in the mirror as he pressed a single kiss to the side of your neck, making your breath noticeably hitch.
"Sorry, love. You just look so good, guess I couldn't help myself."
He was feigning innocence, but the dark, husky quality of his voice told you everything you needed to know. He wasn't sorry at all.
"J-Jay, I think we should- Shit."
Your words dissolved into a soft moan at the sensation of his mouth on you again. Only this time there wasn't anything gentle about it.
Jay sucked hungrily against your skin, arms tightening around your waist to pull you more flush against him. You watched as a mark bloomed across your flesh in the mirror. The demon behind you pulled back to admire his work, smirking proudly before going back in to work his tongue over the now tender spot.
Watching it all unfold in your reflection had your face looking embarrassingly flushed, the color even spreading across your chest.
"Jay." you gasped softly as your head fell back against his shoulder.
Your boyfriend paid you no mind. He was too focused on bruising your skin with his lips and teeth.
"Babe." you tried again, voice coming out wrecked from the way he was kissing and sucking along your shoulder now.
"Quiet." Jay murmured against your skin, and you rubbed your thighs together in response before you could stop yourself.
His hands released you suddenly, one of them coming up to slide your dress strap down your shoulder. Your head snapped back up to the mirror, taking in all the new marks adorning your skin.
You knew Jay occasionally liked to stake his claim, but he usually would leave you with hickies where only he could see them. The dark and angry spots now littering your neck and shoulder made you feel like you were being put on display. Like this time he wanted to make sure everyone knew who you belonged to. Wanted to make sure you knew.
His fingers dug into your bare arm, holding you in place for him while his free hand grazed the underside of your breast. His mouth was still hot and hungry as it moved over your exposed flesh. It was becoming increasingly difficult to keep your eyes on your reflection, the image of Jay devouring you from behind too much for you to take.
His eyes caught yours in the glass once more, pupils blown wide with desire, "Are you gonna be a good girl for me, darling? You can do it for me, right?"
"Jay, please." you begged, waiting for him to just let you off the hook.
Your boyfriend shook his head at you, fingers releasing your arm from his grip. His hand was splayed across your throat a moment later, the cool metal of his bracelet and ring making goosebumps rise across your skin.
"That's not an answer, baby." he scolded, digits fluttering against your pulse as he intently watched your reflection.
His free hand moved again, this time coming up to fully palm at your breast. His reflection took your ear between his teeth.
"Fuck." you hissed, starting to squirm in his hold.
Jay's hand around your neck applied the slightest amount of pressure. A warning.
"You're not going anywhere, princess. Not until I'm done with you."
You gaped at him in the mirror now, Jay looking like sin behind you. One hand at your throat while the other greedily felt you up, all while still staking his claim on your body with his mouth.
"B-But Jay Jay, y-you said." you stuttered out, all the sensations making it difficult to speak.
"Aww, I know I did, angel," he said, mocking you openly with his words, "but I changed my mind. My patience has run out, and I can't wait until we get back home. No, I think you need to be punished now."
You jerked your head to try to look at him properly, "What about everything you said about getting caught?"
He tongued the inside of his cheek as he took in your concern as well as the incredulity on your face.
Oh.
You were FUCKED fucked.
"I guess you'll just have to try really hard to keep that pretty mouth shut then, now won't you, doll?"
Jay's hand at your neck traveled higher, his thumb pressing down as it swiped across your bottom lip. You swallowed nervously, and his dark irises followed the movement.
"You're gonna be good for me, and you're gonna take everything I give you."
He made it very clear he wasn't asking.
Left with no other choice, you sighed in defeat and weakly nodded your head. But of course that wasn't good enough for your boyfriend when you'd pushed him as far as you had that day. Jay took hold of your chin as he frowned down at you.
"Words, sweetheart. Repeat them back to me."
Oh for fucks sake.
"God, this is humiliating." you groaned before reciting his words quietly under your breath.
"Couldn't hear you, baby. Again. And louder."
You pulled back from Jay's hold, turning forward to face the mirror once more. You rolled your eyes. Just once. Thinking there was no way he would notice the subtle movement.
"I saw that, brat."
You had no warning before one of his hands was coming down hard on your ass. The slap, along with the yelp you let out, pierced the silence of the fitting room.
"Do you want me to really humiliate you?"
The threat in his eyes and your now stinging flesh had all the fight draining from your body within moments. Your boyfriend's satisfied smirk in the glass let you know that he had noticed the sudden shift, "Is my sweet girl finally ready to behave and accept her punishment?"
You felt dazed as one of his hands absentmindedly played with your hair, your body automatically leaning into his touch. You quickly gave in, letting yourself finally, fully submit to him.
"Mmm, yes, I'll be good for you. I'll take everything you give me."
The words came out more moaned than spoken, and you heard Jay inhale sharply right next to your ear.
"Such an obedient girl for me now, fuck."
His lips returned to your skin with renewed fervor, and you shivered with sensitivity from all the marks he'd already left on you. In the mirror, his large hands shamelessly covered your breasts, squeezing and kneading the flesh through the fabric of the dress. You reached behind you to trail your fingertips up the back of Jay's neck, making him groan softly.
Your hand continued its climb, nails scraping against his scalp as your fingers slid into the dark locks at the back of his head. The growl that escaped your boyfriend caught you off guard, but not as much as him harshly sinking his teeth into your shoulder immediately after did. You had to clamp your mouth shut to keep your cry from slipping out. He had never bitten you like that.
Jay even seemed a little surprised at himself when he pulled back, the two of you taking in the teeth marks now indenting your skin in the reflection.
"You're kinda insane today, baby." you teased, giving him a knowing look in the glass.
He laughed, peppering gentle kisses over the same spot, "I think you like it though."
You hummed before surprising Jay by pushing up on your toes and twisting your head to claim his lips. He groaned against your mouth, his tongue diving in to taste you without hesitation. You devoured each other for several moments, your boyfriend's hands frantic as they explored your body.
You broke the kiss suddenly, both of you breathing hard and slightly fogging up the mirror in front of you.
"I love it, actually." you corrected him cheekily, briefly brushing your lips against his jaw.
"Mmm, you know what I love?" Jay started, angling your body back towards the glass, "This dress."
His chin rested on your shoulder as his wandering hands smoothed over the silky material. You watched as he bunched up the fabric at your waist, the motion tugging the hem up slightly. The dress was already short to begin with, and Jay's reflection drank in the way it exposed more of your thighs to him.
"Blue really is your color, darling." he remarked, fingers teasing as they traced up one of the slits that was cut into the bottom.
"But you wanna know what my favorite thing about this dress is?" Jay went on as his hand started to disappear under the garment completely, curving around the inside of your thigh.
It took all your efforts to contain the whine that threatened to escape you. Your boyfriend's attention was fully focused on your figure in the mirror, taking in every little reaction his touch elicited from your body. You saw the tremor that went through you in real time when his knuckles just barely brushed against you through your panties. Jay, of course, immediately clocked how embarrassingly wet you were, "You're practically dripping, angel. Shit. This needy little cunt really needs me that bad huh?"
You had to bite back a moan at the feeling of his palm cupping you over the fabric.
"Jay, fuck, please."
You weren't even sure what you were begging for at this point, just some sort of relief from the torture you'd been enduring all day. Your boyfriend chuckled right next to your ear, and you felt ready to scream.
"As I was saying, my favorite thing about this dress is just how easy it is for me toโฆ" Jay trailed off as his fingers slipped under the garment to finally feel you properly.
A small noise of pleasure left your lips, your eyes glued to the movement of the hand between your legs in the glass in front of you. The man behind you took his time letting his digits sweep through your folds, enamored with the way you were watching yourself in the mirror.
"You like being able to see me touch you like this, don't you, love?" he observed, voice soft and sensual.
His fingers trailed higher to circle your clit, making you groan and arch against him. Jay growled, and his free hand gripped the fabric at your waist even tighter to keep you in place for him. You could feel how hard he was getting as he pressed himself against your ass.
A sudden knock at the door jolted you back to the reality of your surroundings. You'd been so caught up in the moment that you'd almost forgotten all of this was happening in a fitting room at a very public mall. Almost.
Your panicked eyes found Jay's in the reflection, but your boyfriend seemed completely unbothered, which irritated you to no end.
"Just wanted to make sure you're still doing okay? Did you need me to take anything for you, or get you a different size in anything?" the sales attendant called from the other side of the door.
"Fuck. Jay, what do we do?" you hissed, looking back and forth between him and the door.
"Well," he started, placing a kiss just under your ear as his fingers continued stroking your bundle of nerves, "you should probably answer before she comes in here and catches us in this compromising position."
You turned your head to glare at him straight on, "You fucking demon."
The pleased smirk he gave you in response made you want to strangle him.
"Mm, and you're a fucking brat. Which is why you're in this situation to begin with. Remember that, baby."
"Hello? Is everything okay in there?" the woman spoke up again, and you really were starting to worry about her just coming in out of concern at this point.
You opened your mouth to reply, determined to make yourself sound as normal as possible. However, your boyfriend chose that same exact moment to push two of his fingers inside of you, so all that escaped you was a choked out "fuck".
"Aw, come on, sweetheart. Don't be rude." Jay mockingly scolded you as his thumb pressed down hard on your clit.
You bit your lip to keep from crying out. You needed to say something or this woman was definitely coming in there.
"S-sorry, yes. I'm f-fine. Just need a little more t-time deciding, i-if that's okay?"
You cursed yourself for the way your voice shook, but it was the best you could do with the way Jay's fingers were still moving unhurried inside you. It was silent on the other side of the door for several seconds, and your heart raced as you prepared for the two of you to be banned from this mall for life because of public indecency.
"Oh, uh, of course. That's fine. Take all the time you need, and let me know if I can be of help in any way. I'll be back to check on you in a bit."
The uncertainty in her voice had you still feeling on edge, but the sound of her receding footsteps a moment later let you relax slightly.
"She definitely knew you were in here getting finger fucked." Jay remarked with all the casualness in the world.
You sighed in annoyance, "Oh my god, what the fuck is wrong with you?"
"It's gotta be my bratty girlfriend who doesn't listen." he quipped back, giving you a knowing smile in the mirror.
All possible retorts died on your tongue as soon as you felt Jay slip in a third finger, making you writhe in his hold.
"But, she certainly does listen better when her greedy little cunt is being filled."
You whimpered at the combination of his words along with the way his digits were roughly drilling into you now. The reflection of his hand disappearing inside you was nothing short of obscene. With how worked up he'd had you all day, you knew you wouldn't last long, your body begging for release.
"Jayโฆ" you panted, fingers digging into his bicep in an attempt to ground yourself, "baby, fuckโฆclose."
Your boyfriend hummed in answer, and you felt the vibration against your skin.
"You gonna make a mess for me, darling? You gonna be a good girl and come all over my fingers?"
The way he taunted you spurred you even closer to your undoing. Jay swore under his breath at the feeling of you clamping tight around his fingers. You found you could barely focus on the scene in the glass anymore. His thumb strumming across your clit in time with the movement inside of you had stars beginning to cloud your vision.
Your boyfriend's breath warmed the back of your neck as he leaned in closer to you, "Just so you know, princess, even if she comes in here, I'm not stopping."
The implication in his words was the last push you needed to fall over the edge, one hand shooting out to steady yourself against the mirror.
"Fuckโฆfuckโฆfuck." was all you could manage to get out in between heaving breaths.
Your head was just starting to clear from the high, when your body registered two things. Not only were Jay's fingers still inside you, but he hadn't faltered in his pace even after making you come undone once already.
"Shit. Baby, you can stop."
Your voice mirrored how you felt on the inside, which was absolutely wrecked. Jay slowed the movement of his hand between your legs, but just barely. He used his free hand to pull you up by your hair to face the reflection before you once again.
"I know I can stop, angel, but I'm not going to until I'm satisfied with your punishment. Unless you need to use your safe word, then everything stops. Immediately. You know that."
Jay watched you carefully in the glass as tears started gathering in your eyes from the overstimulation. It wasn't like he hadn't seen you cry during a moment of pleasure before, but this particular instance felt slightly different since all of this was happening in a public place. His fingers suddenly stilled inside you as he waited for some sort of confirmation from you.
Just having the reminder that your safe word was there if you needed it reaffirmed your trust in Jay. It would all be over in an instant, just as he promised. But you were starting to realize that that wasn't actually what you wanted. You just wanted him.
You met your boyfriend's eyes in the mirror, weakly nodding your head to let him know that you were okay with continuing. Jay pressed a tender kiss to your temple, "My sweet girl. You gonna come again for me?"
You hummed softly in response, your body reacting on instinct as you clenched around his digits. Jay's breath audibly hitched, and then you felt his hand coming to life inside you again. The renewed stimulation had you slumping forward in your boyfriend's hold. Jay quickly secured you against him, his unoccupied hand harshly gripping your jaw to keep your head up. You moaned brokenly, the overstimulation cresting back into pleasure.
"Fuck, look at you." he groaned, "Taking my fingers so well, baby. So perfect for me."
All you could do was whine out his name as you felt your second orgasm rapidly approaching. Your legs were shaking so violently, you weren't even sure how Jay was still able to hold you up. The rising pitch in your cries had his hand that was wrapped around your jaw moving to cover your mouth instead. One thing was for sure. The visual being reflected back to you certainly wasn't going to be leaving your brain anytime soon.
The man behind you seemed equally mesmerized by it. Your high hit you even harder this time around, and you were grateful for Jay's hand muffling your sobs. He coaxed you through it with his fingers, only finally withdrawing them from you when your whole body started trembling from the sensory overload. In the mirror, your boyfriend pushed the digits past his lips and sucked them clean. Your gaze happened to catch on something else in the reflection. Your release was dripping down one of your legs and heading straight for the fitting room floor below.
"Fuck, Jay." you whispered in a panic, trying to direct his attention in the glass.
Jay's eyes widened as he saw the source of your concern, not hesitating before kneeling next to you. You glanced down at him, and your heart raced at the sight of him on one knee. Even though you knew that obviously wasn't where this was heading, but just the thought had you feeling dizzy. Your boyfriend beaming up at you with a fucked out grin definitely didn't help the situation. You flushed and refocused on the mirror in an attempt to avoid passing out. Jay laughed at the way you were suddenly getting shy on him,"Don't worry, love. I got you."
Your confused expression stared back at you before your jaw was falling open at the scene unfolding in the reflection. One of Jay's arms curled around your leg, fingers pressing possessively into your skin. He caught your eye, and his grin transformed into a truly devious smirk. You watched as his tongue traced a trail up your leg, cleaning up your release as he did so. Your knees were legitimately going to give out at this rate. Jay nipped at your thigh teasingly.
"While I'm down hereโฆ" he started, but you cut him off by yanking him back by his hair to look up at you.
"Enough, you menace. I will literally collapse."
"Okay, okay," he conceded, holding his hands up in surrender, "I guess I have tortured you enough for one day."
"Can we please just go check out before that woman comes back and we traumatize her, or we get arrested."
Jay raised an eyebrow at you in challenge, and you flicked his forehead in response.
"Ow, shit! Okay, fine, I'll meet you at the counter after you change."
"Actually, thanks to my insane boyfriend, I don't even have the energy to do that. So I guess we're both wearing our outfits out of here." you voiced as you quickly gathered your clothes.
You made your way towards the door on shaky legs, Jay's hand covering your own on the handle as you went to open it.
"You're the insane one if you think I'm letting you walk out there looking like that, sweetheart."
You groaned in frustration, "Jay, we seriously don't have time for this."
You moved to push out of the fitting room, but you stopped when your boyfriend did something that made you speechless for what felt like the millionth time that day. Jay shrugged out of his jacket, leaving him in just the white tank underneath. You shamelessly ogled his arms and shoulders, even though this man had literally just rocked your shit and then some. Your boyfriend was hot, and you were only human after all.
He draped the garment over your figure before holding a hand out to you. You felt yourself blushing as your fingers slid into his.
"Get you a man who fingers you until you cry and then gives you his jacket after." you quipped, giggling as the two of you strolled out of the fitting room.
"Oh shut up, brat." Jay replied.
But he still leaned over to kiss your cheek, and when he pulled back to look at you, his eyes held all the love and affection in the world.
(gonna go run some laps real quick anyone want anything)
canโt even begin to express how proud i am of my bestie for writing/posting her first enha fic! and oh my GOD ITS A HELL OF A FIC TO START WITH LORD
this jay! this jay? this jay. cool, good? ok glad we had that talk, thank you for your time ๐
in all seriousness though just wow likeโฆ..i always kinda figured jay would be the perfect type to tame a brat and damn if this didnโt make that thought root itself even deeper into my brain. heโs so HOT wtf like yes pls ruin my life but also be sweet about it but also mean but also also
yeah - this jay, lots i could say about him. his restraint vs. when he lets go? thatโs gonna be stuck in my head for about a month and then itโll haunt my memory.
pls show @moonstruckpark and her fic some love!! ๐ฉต๐๐ซ
Seeing my fave writers deactivating because of an asshole who decided to hate on them and to threat them.
I'm so sorry for all of you, the people who put their hearts and a lot of effort in their writing, you don't deserve the hate you get just for writing, hell, just for existing.
Enhablr has become my safe place, where i could comment and interact with people with the same interests as me, but these last 3 days has become nothing more than a war.
This account accusing and threatening people in ways that I could've never imagined, people having to deactivate due to the hate and not-so-anonymous threats, it's horrendous.
I hope that Enhablr can be a safe space for everyone again, as it used to be, I hope we can all find peace in our hearts and our lives.
I love you all, and I hope these words embrace your hearts, the same way yours embraced mine.
Hey Iโve been busy too and it feels like I got less time to enjoy stuff that I like ๐ญ Lately even on my days off I canโt fully enjoy them since I always have some school work to do ๐ like all of a sudden everyone is assigning projects left and right ๐Also when do you think youโll go back to writing โ๏ธ
-๐
seriously same, i feel like it can be such a struggle sometimes ๐ญ especially if you have school on top of it! ah, the joys of adulting~
i actually did just post a new fic, it's one for jungwon that i've been working on for months and finally got around to finishing ๐ฅน
next i'm hoping to get back into the fatal trouble series which is where poison is from - fingers crossed i can make more progress on the 2 additional parts iโve already started ๐ค
as always, i look forward to seeing asks from you and hope you're doing well โค๏ธ
๐งก summary: what you intended to be a distraction from your unfortunate crush on your best friend turns into your worst possible nightmare; you sent pictures - those kind of pictures - to the wrong person on accident. the person on the other end? jungwon - your best friend of many years and the absolute last person youโd want to damage your friendship with. youโd do anything to keep it from falling apart, so you head out for a late night visit to the dance studio.
๐ genre: best friends to lovers, fluff, slight angst, smut
๐งก rating: 18+ (mdni)
๐ word count: 18,040 words (oof)
๐งก content warnings: reader is down bad for bestie jungwon and doesn't relalize it's mutual, reader sends lewds, trope of โoh no i sent these pics to my best friend iโm in love with what do i do,โ dancer!wonie bc i feel like thatโs a warning by itself, love confessions, kissing, making out, groping, cursing, dirty talk, lots of praise, hair pulling, both are very sensitive bc โจin love thingsโจ, fingering, mirror shenanigans, hand curved around jaw, oral (m.), jake is kinda a menace tbh but itโs for the plot everyone still loves him ofc
a/n: the way jungwon has had me by the throat ... i had this idea and just needed to get it out somehow ๐คฉ thank you endlessly to my bestie @moonstruckpark for always entertaining my ideas and for betaing - always know i can count on you and i love you lots <3
if you read this: thank you so much!! i hope you enjoy it~
It was a typical Friday night, or at least it started out that way. You usually would come over every week or every other week on Fridays to watch movies or play games with Jungwon and his roommates โ Jay, Jake, and Heeseung โ who were also your friends.
Sometimes, Jungwon would work in a dance practice session before you guys could hang out, which was why you were here now in the studio, having watched him dance for the last hour.
Jungwon glanced up at you through the mirror as he heard you approach. He knelt down to re-tie his shoelaces that had come undone during practice.
"Sorry, I need to stay. I'm in the zone โ don't wanna let go of that energy."
Your arms were crossed and you gave him your best pout. Which you already knew would have zero effect in this situation because your best friend was stubborn as hell, especially when it came to dancing.
It was one of the many things you admired about him, though: his passion. So even if you were a little bummed that your plans had somewhat fallen through last minute, you couldn't find it in yourself to be that upset.
"You're also my ride homeโ" you tried to reason before you were cut off by an arm slinging itself around your shoulder, the sudden weight making you stumble.
"You can ride with us back to our place!" Jake reached out to steady you with his hand that wasn't attached to the arm he nearly knocked you over with. "We're all going to the same place anyway."
"And besides," Jake leaned in closer to you, but didn't really make an attempt to lower his volume, "it gives us more time to hang out by ourselves, yeah?"
Jake was now giving you his best puppy dog eyes and honestly how could you ever say no to that? You smiled and nodded, laughing when Jake pulled you closer into his side.
"Sleepover!" He pumped a fist into the air before he finally released you. "I'll probably sit in the back of the car if, ya know โ you wanna join or anything."
Jay simply rolled his eyes as he packed his gear and Heeseung was too busy downing a bottle of water to notice Jake being extra. You simply giggled at his antics before you turned to see what Jungwon thought of it all.
Jungwon was still in the same spot, hands frozen as he held his shoelaces. He was looking directly at Jake, and his jaw was slightly clenched.
"Wonie?"
He blinked at the sound of your voice and shook his head quickly, like he was trying to bring himself back to the present. His eyes focused on you and he gave you a soft smile. "Hm?"
"You good?"
"Yeah, uh, just making sure that I'm all set before I start the routine again." He finished tying his shoe before hopping back up like the abrupt change in altitude was nothing.
This time, it was Jungwon's arm that found its way around your shoulders as he pulled you into a hug. A small 'oof' expelled from you at the sudden movement, not expecting that you would collide with his chest the way you did.
Being in this position hugging him was the farthest thing from unfamiliar, but the heat radiating off of him made it feelโฆdifferent somehow.
"If you're staying the night, use my room, ok?"
You pulled back so you could look up at him, but his expression was hard to read.
"You want me to stay in your room?"
"Mhm." He hugged you closer for another moment before letting you go. His hand fell to your waist casually, like it was supposed to be there. "You can use my bed, and I've got a t-shirt I'm sure you can find if you need something comfortable to sleep in."
It wasn't like you'd never slept in his bed before, because you'd taken dozens of naps at his place, sometimes even with him in the bedโฆa respectable distance away, but still.
Even so, you didn't want to impose. "Wonie, I can sleep on you guys' couch, it's no big dealโ"
"Nah, you'll sleep better in my bedโ in my room." He corrected himself quickly and ran a hand through his hair, his blonde locks the slightest bit wavy with how damp they'd gotten from practice. "Think of it as my way of making it up to you since I can't drive you back."
"We'll look after her, don't worry." Jake slid over to you both, making it obvious that he'd just been eavesdropping on your conversation. "And my bed is plenty big enough for two, if you get lonely during the night." Jake added a wink for dramatic effect.
Jungwon's grip tightening on your waist took you by surprise.
It wasn't like Jungwon didn't want people showing you attention or anything like that. It was more likeโฆ after seeing you get treated badly one too many times, he'd had enough of it.
Was Jungwon protective of you? Always. Did all of your friends know that? Of course?
Did Jake care that his flirty nature was a little too much at times? Absolutely not.
"Thanks, Jake," you tried to be polite, but he really was going for it tonight. He'd always been more of the teasing sort, and you couldn't deny he was of the most charming people you'd ever met.
Jake had cranked the level up to 11 tonight for some reason, and the way Jungwon was reacting had your mind sprinting off into different directions.
"See you soon," Jake grinned at you as he stuffed his hands in the pockets of his black hoodie. He pulled the hood up and faced Jungwon, looking a little more serious now. "Hey, don't push yourself too hard, ok? You know you're the best โ no one's better for this than you."
Jungwon blinked before nodding, holding you a little looser now as he smiled back at Jake. "Thanks, I need that reassurance sometimes."
Jake clapped a hand on Jungwon's shoulder before he left to join Jay and Heeseung near the door leading out of the studio.
Jungwon pulled you closer briefly into a side hug. "Guess you better go with them."
"I can stayโ"
"Nope," Jungwon was already gently ushering you towards your friends. "I've already taken up enough of your time tonight."
"Time with you is never wasted, so I disagree." When you said the words, it didn't feel like they had any weight to them. The look on Jungwon's face, however, had you second guessing yourself for a moment.
Was that too far? Surely not. You've said way more incriminatingโ no, embarrassing things to him before. Something about it this time just seemedโฆ different.
Maybe it was the way his hand was still on your waist as he walked with you to the front of the studio. Maybe it was the way that you could feel the heat radiating from him where he touched you, even through layers of clothing.
Maybe it was because Jungwon was Jungwon. And you were you.
That's all the two of you had ever beenโ and that was enough.
Before you could think on it too long, you tuned in once again to the men in front of you.
Jake was talking to Jay about something, and as usual Jay just looked on fondly with a puzzled, but very amused, expression. Heeseung was looking over the fliers that had been pasted to the window at the front, adding notes in his phone for important dates like recitals, mandatory practices, etc.
"Text me when you're home?" Jungwon retracted his hand and you missed the warmth immediately. "Well, when you're back at my place."
"Don't worry, loverboy, we'll take good care of her," Jake offered as Jay started pushing him out the door. He was mumbling something to Jake that sounded like "If you don't go get in the carโ"
Heeseung waved and smiled at Jungwon before he followed the others, you right behind him as Jungwon closed the door when you finally stepped out into the cool night air.
The ride back to their place was pleasant โ you always had a good time with them โ but you couldn't shake this feeling that something was off.
A few minutes later, your phone vibrated and the screen lit up, making you smile.
[wonie๐] 10:05 PM: good, use whatever you need in my room. what's mine is yours
You swore you could feel your heart pound against your chest at that response.
[you] 10:06 PM: oh? so if you come back and some of your most treasured items are missing, i won't get in trouble? ๐คฉ
[wonie๐] 10:07 PM: don't push your luck
Barely a minute later:
[wonie๐] 10:08 PM: (but also yeah, because it's you)
You couldn't hold back your smile that time, catching Jake's attention as he was mid-ramble.
"What's got you grinning like that? Won already coming back?"
Jay chuckled and Heeseung went to raid the kitchen to find what you assumed would be ramen.
"No," you rolled your eyes playfully at Jake, "I was just letting him know we got here safe."
"Uh huh," Jake's sly smile didn't go unnoticed by you. "You let him know we were back home safe or that you were safe?"
Jake's knowing tone made you subtly shift from foot to foot. "โฆdoes it matter?"
Jake shrugged. "Guess not." He plopped down onto the couch before he resumed his conversation with Jay, this time with you listening in.
"I'm just saying โ either she's into me, or she's asking me for advice on how to get another guy's attention."
Jay hummed like he was thinking it over. "And she did that by asking if you'd be alright with her sending you pictures?"
Heeseung called your name from the kitchen, prompting you to look over your shoulder. He raised a soda can to see if you wanted one, but you politely declined with a smile and shake of your head. He returned your smile before his head poked back into the fridge.
Jake groaned like he was personally offended by Jay's comment. "Not just pictures, bro. She asked if she could send me nudes."
Jay shoved Jake's shoulder and Jake retaliated with a shocked "What the hell, man?" You giggled at the absurdity of it all.
Jay, instead, groaned at the audacity and asked "Why are you always so crass?"
Jake shrugged. "Scorpio bullshit, I guess."
"We have a guest." Jay glanced over at you quickly, almost fast enough you didn't see it.
Jake followed the movement until his eyes landed on you. "Her?" He sputtered out a laugh. "C'mon, she doesn't care. We're all adults here, right?"
You sat in one of the chairs on the other side of the room, amused as always by Jake and Jay's push-and-pull with their discussions. "I don't care if you guys don't. Plus, I'm kinda curious to see what wisdom you're going to give us."
Jake made an exaggerated movement with his hand, motioning at you. "See? Thank you." Jay rolled his eyes but didn't disagree further.
Heeseung had joined the three of you now, bowl of ramen in one hand and a drink in the other while he sat in the chair next to you. "Ok so," Heeseung started, "she asked to send you nudes. Then what?"
For how much you sometimes thought Heeseung was in his own world when things were going on, he really did pay close attention to what was happening around him.
"Well I told her of course she could, duh," Jake said it like it was the most logical answer in the world. "I told her that it's one sure fire way to show your interest in a guy โ at least if you have some inkling that he likes you back."
"It is?" Your voice even surprised you, because you thought you'd asked that question in your head.
Jake smiled. "Mhm." The smile stretched into a sly grin, one you knew all too well. "Why? You got someone you wanna send some pics to?"
You could feel your face heat up as you quickly shook your head. "No, justโฆwas wondering, is all."
"Fair. Well, if you ever want to send some to anyone, then by all means, I'm availableโ"
Jake barely got the last word out before Jay was smacking him with a couch cushion.
"What is your deal tonight?!" Jake was trying to fight the onslaught of pillowy punches.
"I could ask you the same thing," Jay nearly yelled back. "I swear, sometimes it's like you want to dig your own grave."
Jake managed to wrestle the cushion away from Jay before tossing it to the floor. Heeseung kicked it further out of the way but made no other moves to intervene.
"You're telling me if she wanted to send you nudes that you would be opposed?"
Jay's mouth hung open for a second as he looked back and forth between you, Jake, Heeseung โ who was happily eating his ramen without a care in the world, then back to you again.
"Yesโ I mean, no, uh," Jay couldn't hold eye contact with you. "Personally I would say no because we're really good friends. No offense."
Jay offered you a smile but it felt like there was more he wasn't telling you.
"You're a different breed than me, then. If one of my really good friends was hot," Jake paused for a moment to catch your eye before he continued, smirking devilishly "and she wanted to send some to me, there's no way I'm turning that down."
You gulped. "Good to know."
Heeseung chuckled beside you, shaking his head at his friends' nonsense he was witnessing.
"Anyways," Jay said it with a tone of what you thought might be finality. "It's kinda late so I'm turning in soon. You have everything you need?"
You realized Jay was asking you that, having gotten lost in your own thoughts for a moment. "Huh? Yeah, I think so. Wonie said I could use whatever I needed from his room."
"I'm sure he did," Jake mumbled, still loud enough for you to hear. He followed Jay's lead and stood up from the couch, stretching his limbs as he did. "Sure you don't want company? I wasn't lying when I said my bed is big enough for two, you know."
Jay started pulling Jake toward their rooms at the opposite end of the apartment by the hood on his jacket before you could respond. "Goodnight," Jay addressed both you and Heeseung as he walked away, Jake waving as he was dragged along.
You laughed as Jake waved while he was being drug away, barely catching Jay say something like "One day I may not be here to save your assโ"
"Guess I'm gonna wind down, too." Heeseung yawned before he got up to clean his dishes. "You're free to stay in here of course, but I figured you're probably ready to head to Won's room and just chill."
His yawn triggered your own, the action making you realize then just how tired you really were. "Yeah, that sounds like the move."
Heeseung smiled before he turned around to face the sink. "Sleep well," he said over his shoulder, not waiting for you to acknowledge him before he turned the faucet on.
"You too," you hoped you said it at a volume he could hear over the water, but even if you hadn't, you knew Heeseung well enough that he would know you responded if he didn't hear it.
When you closed Jungwon's room door behind you, the search for a t-shirt started. You knew what drawer Jungwon kept most of his shirts in, and right on top you found a dark blue one that you recognized as being one you'd worn on several occasions at this point.
If you thought about it hard enough, you might even remember Jungwon telling you that he basically always put that shirt near the top for you because you seemed to like it so much. He also once joked about just giving it to you, but then that would 'take the fun out of you wearing something that was his.'
That man really did confuse you sometimes.
Certain things he said and special moments the two of you shared had made you wonder in the past if there really was more to your friendship. It obviously didn't help that you had โ and have had for a while โ a massive crush on him. You always tried your best to push those feelings down because your friendship mattered more to you than anything else probably ever could. But right now, here, in his room, wearing his shirt while you waited on him to get homeโฆ
Well, sometimes it was fun to imagine, right?
You changed clothes, slightly mortified at the fact that you'd forgotten to bring shorts with you. Of course, you had left your place in a kind of frenzy because Jungwon has decided he needed to get some dance practice in right then, which changed your plans. You didn't mind the plan changed, but him grabbing your hand to rush both of you out the door of your place didn't leave you much time to grab anything extra as you left.
You were a little nervous to lay in his bed without them. It wasn't like it'd be wrong or bad of you to do so, it just felt quiteโ intimate.
Even though Jungwon wasn't there with you. The fact that it was his clothes and his bed was enough.
Your chest had that familiar ache starting, the one that always presented itself whenever you thought about Jungwon too much in a specific way, when you thought about him in a way that you could never have.
When you thought about being his completelyโ not just being his best friend, but also his person. You thought about meaning to him what he meant to you.
You thought about loving him as more than your best friend.
When your head hit the pillow, you sighed, trying to whisk away all the pesky thoughts that plagued you in that moment. Dwelling on it didn't help anyone, and pining like this would only draw you in further and make it harder for you to claw your way back out.
Your phone vibrated, helping somewhat with bringing you out of your spiral.
[wonie๐] 11:15 PM: hey, i'm almost done here, be back soon. i'll try not to wake you if you're asleep when i come in
Always so considerate. It was just one of the many things you loved about him. You sent him a response and before you closed out of your messages screen, your eyes drifted down to see [jake๐ถ] sitting a few people under Jungwon in your most recent contacts.
The conversation from earlier came back to you then.
"โฆit's one sure fire way to show your interest in a guy โ at least if you have some inkling that he likes you back."
Did you have an 'inkling' Jungwon liked you back, or was it just wishful thinking?
And what did it even matterโ there was no way in hell that you would sending any photos of that sort to Jungwon in the hopes of getting his attention.
โฆtaking pictures, howeverโฆthat was a different story.
Before you could chicken out, suddenly confident from the slight adrenaline rush you had at the idea, you slid out from under the covers and sat on top of Jungwon's bed.
Seeing yourself in the mirror across from his bed gave you an idea of a certain pose you thought might look nice. You bit your lip while you contemplated, noticing how the lighting in the room would probably look better if you adjusted it just a little bitโ
Within a few minutes, you had a setup that you were proud of: you had turned the lighting to more of a blueish hue (Jungwon had taught you how and knew you liked that setting, so he also had it like that a lot when you were over), your phone was set up to where it could take pictures of you through the mirror without you having to hold it or it be in the way, and you were perched almost at the edge of his bed.
You set the camera timer and took a few photos in a pose you felt comfortable with. You exposed skin, but not too muchโ just enough to leave a little to the imagination. It was exhilarating, not just the act of doing this but where you were doing it; almost like being in Jungwon's room emboldened you to do things that you normally wouldn't.
When you were satisfied with one of the pictures, you saved it and deleted the others before you fixed Jungwon's room back to how it was before you got there (aside from the lights, of course). It was easier then for you to fall asleep since you felt like some kind of weight had been liftedโ you just didn't know what.
Jungwon met you in your dreams, but this time, you welcomed the feeling without trying to fight it.
Soft whispers and a nudge against your shoulder woke you up. You made some incoherent noises as you stirred, blinking as someone came into view.
"Hey there, sleepyhead." Jungwon smiled, sitting down next to you now that you were awake. "I hated waking you but I also wanted to check on you."
"Hi, Wonie," you greeted him back, a slight slur to your voice since you had been sleeping pretty hard. "Happy you're home."
His laughter was soft, and it probably could have lulled you back to sleep if he did it long enough. You faintly were aware of him brushing some of your hair out of your face.
"Me too. Always nice to see you here when I get back."
That had you feeling a little more awake. Your eyes opened more now, and it was then that you noticed Jungwon in front of you. He had on different clothes than the ones he'd been dancing in, and his hair was considerably damp from what you could tell.
He must've already taken a shower and changed before waking you up, and that honestly had you feeling some kind of way.
"I thought about waking you up before I got a shower," Jungwon went on โ he had to have the ability to read your mind or something. "You know, just so you'd be aware I'm here if you woke up. But you looked so peaceful I couldn't fathom waking you. I hope that's ok."
His hand was still near your face from where he'd brushed your hair away, and in a moment of bravery, you placed your hand on top of his. The small hitch in his breath had your heart rate picking up.
"It's more than ok. This is your space, Wonie, you're free to do whatever you want."
Jungwon gulped. "R-Right. Well, uh," he slowly pulled his hand away from yours, running it through his hair afterwards. "I'm sure you probably wanna get back to sleep soon, so I'll leave you to itโ"
You frowned. "Where are you going?"
Jungwon looked at you like it was obvious as he jerked his thumb behind him towards the bedroom door. "I'm going to go sleep on the couch? I'm not making you move out of my bed when you look this comfy."
You smiled and gently grabbed his wrist, tugging him forward a little bit, making him stumble. "Don't be sillyโ we can share the bed."
"Oh," Jungwon choked out. "Um, I mean, yeah, we can."
"We've taken naps before, right?" You yawned before you continued, your eyes slowly starting to droop closed again. "It'll be just like that, but kinda different."
Jungwon's lack of an answer had your eyes opening. "Unless you don't want toโ I don't want you to be uncomfortableโ"
"No, no, never," Jungwon rushed out, his free hand coming down to rest on top of yours that was still wrapped around his wrist. "I'm fine with sharing the bed. Only if you're ok with it, though."
"I wouldn't have made the suggestion if I wasn't." You tried teasing him a little with your tone, but all you did is manage to sound sleepier. The soft laugh you got in return was still worth it.
"Well then, I guess make some room for me. I'll give you as much space as I can." Jungwon walked over to the opposite side of the bed as you shimmied closer to the side you were laying on. You didn't really care about the space issues, but you also wanted him to be comfortable.
When he was settled in under the covers, you could almost feel how rigid his posture was with him trying to stay as far away as possible. Definitely not what you would consider comfortable.
"Wonie?" You didn't even bother looking over your shoulder.
"Y-Yeah?"
"You know you can come closer, right?"
A few seconds of silence before you felt the bed shifting behind you as Jungwon shuffled forward some. There was still some distance between the two of you, but you figured he wasn't at risk of falling off the bed anymore, at the very least.
"This ok?" He sounded hesitant, voice low like if he spoke any louder he might shatter the illusion of you both being here like this.
"Mhm," you nodded. Then you looked over your shoulder at him. "But you can still come closer, if you want."
"Do youโฆwant me to?"
"Do you want to," you tossed the question back to him. It didn't matter if you wanted to cuddle up with him while he held you close โ if he didn't want that then it wouldn't happen.
He moved slightly behind you before he answered. "I, uh, I do, but only if you're fine with itโ"
You didn't let him finish, instead opting for reaching behind you to grab his arm and pull him closer. When he was closer to you, his hand accidentally brushed against your thigh.
"Shit, sorry, I didn't mean to," he paused. "Waitโฆyou didn't bring shorts?"
It was your turn to be flustered now, and in all honesty, you had forgotten about that small detail since you'd fallen asleep.
"I didn't get a chance to grab any when we left my place," you willed your voice to stay steady and not betray your panic. "I'm sorry, I can leave ifโ"
"No," Jungwon's hand landed on your arm, where he patted you reassuringly. "Stay. Please."
You tried to relax then. "Just do what feels right, Wonie."
His hand stopped moving against your arm for a second where he'd been lazily tracing patterns you couldn't identify. "You sure?"
You looked at him over your shoulder and smiled. "I trust you."
It seemed like you finally gave Jungwon the confirmation he needed to hear for him to relax with you. His hand disappeared from your arm, and then you felt his arm snake around your waist a moment later as he pulled your closer. He didn't pull you flush against him, but his arm was secure around you, like he didn't dare let you go.
"This ok?" You could feel how close he was to your neck when he spoke, voice quiet, almost inaudible.
You nodded. "It's better than ok." His hand flexed against your stomach in response.
You mumbled out what you hoped sounded like 'goodnight,' not really minding much since you were already halfway back to dreamland. You felt Jungwon chuckle behind you.
After a few moments, he finally responded, his words leaving you with a smile as you drifted back to sleep.
When you woke in the morning, the first thing you noticed was the warmth pressed up against your back, then the arm still looped around your waist. At some point in the night, it seemed like Jungwon had ended up pulling you closer against him โ whether intentionally or while sleeping, though, you weren't sure. Jungwon's steady breathing behind you gave you a sense of peace.
Unfortunately for you, the peace didn't last long.
Jungwon let out what sounded like a sigh, his breath tickling your neck and making you shiver in surprise. That was when you felt it โ when you felt him.
The slight brush against him was all you needed to be able to tell he was hard. And not just, like, a little bit. Hard enough for you to notice he was rather bigโ
Morning wood, your brain tried to reason, but whatever it was it did not help you with remaining calm in the slightest.
You shifted awkwardly as you tried to think of a way to shimmy yourself from his grasp. The small grunt he let out at your movement made you freeze before he pulled you in even closer, his grip tightening around you. You gasped as you collided against his chest, feeling your current problem against the back of your thighs.
You hated that you found yourself in this situation merely because you knew Jungwon would be mortified the moment he woke up. You hated yourself more for the fact that, if you put logic aside, you quite liked this.
Stupid conflicting feelings. Stupid Jungwon with his stupidly attractive face and his ridiculously strong arm and his very distracting problem behind youโ
You had to get out of here. Fast. You gulped quickly and shut your eyes.
"Wonie," you called out softly. You hated every moment of this because you'd much rather fall back asleep in his embrace, even in the 'compromising' position you found yourself.
He barely stirred behind you, groaning again when he came into contact with you. Your mind was running rampant as you bit your lip to stifle any unnecessary sounds.
"Wonie, hey," you tried a little louder this time. "It's time to wake up."
This time you managed to get his attention, and his face nuzzled against your shoulder. "Hm?"
You didn't say anything else, you simply let him process as he slowly woke up. It took maybe 10 seconds before he let out a sharp gasp behind you.
"Oh, fuck, oh my god, I'm so sorry," his voice was somewhat shaky and you wanted nothing more than to console him in that moment. "This is so embarrassing, godโ"
"Hey, it's ok," you tried to soothe him as you looked at him over your shoulder. He still had his arm wound tightly around you, so turning completely in his hold didn't seem like the best idea.
When his eyes met yours, he shut his immediately. "It's not ok, I can't believe this happened, well I actually can, but uhโ"
You reached an arm back as best you could, hoping that if you cupped his face he might calm down. It had the complete opposite effect, causing you both to let out startled noises when he bucked up against you as your fingers brushed along his jawline.
"Fuck, maybe don't, uh, touch me right now?" He laughed nervously.
"Right, yeah, whatever you need," you were matching his nervous demeanor, despite your best efforts not to.
Truth be told: you really weren't uncomfortable, not at all. Quite the opposite, in fact.
Waking up in bed next to your best friend you were devastatingly in love with, and him being in this state at the same time? Truly a win for you, honestly. Especially considering how he was reacting while awake.
Your excitement about the situation made you feel bad though, since Jungwon clearly didn't share the same sentiment, at least from what you could tell. So you kept those thoughts to yourself, like you did most of your thoughts about Jungwon that delved into the 'more than friendly' category.
"I need this to not be happening," he sighed in frustration. "Listen, can Iโ when I let go of you, I need you to not look at me, ok?"
You nodded, the action jostling you more than you'd hoped. Jungwon grunted again and finally released you.
As you tumbled off the bed, he was gone in a flash, running into the bathroom in his room faster than you'd ever seen him. It was pretty impressive if you thought about it.
You stood in the middle of the room, unsure of where to go while he wasโฆbusy? You couldn't hear any noise from the bathroom, but you also weren't really straining to listen because the idea made you feel even more guilty.
It was fairly late in the morning, so you figured the other guys must be up by now. Maybe trying to find some breakfast and sharing their company would placate your rattled nerves.
Or at least they would if not for the fact that you still didn't have shorts to wear. You didn't want to put on your clothes from the previous day, so you made a choice.
These men had been around you long enough and had surely seen your legs before, so it shouldn't be that big of a deal, right?
You forgot about one small detail: Jake also lived here.
And even if it was only morning, he was still ruthless in his flirting attempts.
You tried tiptoeing out of Jungwon's room and shutting the door quietly, but the low whistle across the room quickly clued you in to how not subtle you were being.
"Well, you sure are a sight for sore eyes." Jake was grinning ear to ear. Beside him on the couch, Jay rolled his eyes before offering you a soft smile, almost like he was saying 'sorry.' Heeseung acknowledged you with a head nod before he resumed eating his cereal.
"Thanks, Jake," you tried to give them a smile back but it probably came out more like a grimace based on Heeseung's slightly concerned face.
"No problem. Always happy to compliment a pretty lady when I see one." He winked at you, which didn't help your nerves at all. You slowly made your way over to the chair you usually sat in, trying to tug down Jungwon's shirt as much as possible.
You silently sat and watched for a few minutes as the boys casually spoke about their plans for the day. Jungwon still hadn't joined the four of you in the living room yet. You couldn't help but let your thoughts drift toโฆ ideas about what might be taking him this long.
"Why don't you come sit next to me," Jake broke you out of your stupor as he patted the seat beside him. You blinked and looked over.
There was enough room for you, sure, but it would've put you in pretty close proximity to Jake. Which, you didn't really mind, but the only one you wanted to be close to now was Jungwonโ
Alright feelings, reel it in.
"That seat's taken," Jay piped up. Jake gave him a confused look before trying again.
"Bro, there's literally nothing in this seatโ"
Jay placed one of the pillows on the couch in the spot before Jake was finished. "Now there is."
Heeseung laughed into his cereal and you even let out a chuckle yourself. Jake groaned and let his head fall against the couch. "Why do you do these things?"
Jay scoffed, appalled. "Why do you do these things? I'm trying to help you."
He might've thought he was speaking low enough for his voice to not carry, but you still heard anyway. You spared a glance at Heeseung and he simply shrugged.
"What, you want me to lie? She looks damn good like that," Jake pushed further. You could feel heat across your face, which only intensified when you heard movement from around the corner.
"Who looks good like what now?" Jungwon's voice was still deeper than usual, since he hadn't been awake long, but he looked significantly less flustered. He was standing next to your chair, one hand in his pocket while the other was holding something.
"I brought some of my shorts for you โ they'll probably be a little loose, but you can tie them as tightly as you need to."
"Of course, always Jungwon to the rescue." The words dripped from Jake with exaggeration and Jay coughed awkwardly.
You ignored Jake's comment as you took the shorts with shaky hands, your chest feeling fuzzy at the fact that Jungwon had remembered during hisโฆ peril. "Thanks, I'll, uh, I'll go change."
"Whose shirt are you even wearing anyway?" You heard Jake call after you, but before you could answer, Jungwon's voice cut through the air โ sharp, but calm.
"Mine."
You closed Jungwon's bedroom door and quickly changed, not wanting to miss any of what might be going on outside. Jake liked to push Jungwon โ playfully, of course โ and you usually found the interactions to be very amusing.
This morning, however, Jungwon didn't seem to be in a 'playful' mood. This was even more evident when you walked back outside and he was now sitting in your chair.
Jake knocked the pillow off the spot next to him and gestured to it like it was the only viable option. You took one step toward himโ
โbut you were instantly tugged backward by a hand on your wrist.
You landed softly on Jungwon's lap with your back against his chest. Thankfully, this time, he felt normal underneath you. But your heartbeat picked up anyway due to the fact that he has just put you in his lap on purpose.
Not only that, but he wrapped both arms around you from behind, placing his chin on your shoulder. You felt like you couldn't breathe or the illusion might shatter.
Except this was happening, this was real. And your thoughts were even more out of control than before.
Anytime Jungwon showed even a shred of possessiveness it always made your chest feel fluttery. This was one of the most possessive type of gestures you'd ever seen from him, and coming off the heels of staying with him last night and your shared time this morning, the entire situation had you feeling lost for words.
"Aw, c'mon Won, lighten up. Not my fault she looks good in your clothes." Jake dragged out the word 'your,' for a reason you couldn't place. Jungwon's arms tightened around you.
"I know she does."
His bluntness took you off guard, and it didn't seem like it was just you โ Jake also raised his eyebrows in surprise.
"Noted." Jake blinked before a sinister grin stretched across his face. "Hey, maybe if you're ever over and Won isn't here, you can borrow some of my clothes, yeah? Bet you'd look just as goodโ"
"No need to betโ you won't be finding out." Jungwon pulled you closer then, the action making you gasp softly.
Jay's mouth was hanging open as he looked between Jungwon and Jake before his stare rested on you. Heeseung had stopped eating his cereal, spoon still halfway to his mouth, full of another bite.
Jake held his hands up in defense, finally conceding, thankfully. "Whatever you say, man. Just teasing is all." His smug smile made you think there was more to his methods, but you let it drop for now.
Jungwon nodded (at least from what you could tell since he still had his chin on your shoulder) and that was the end of that interaction. The silence in the room wasn't tense, but if you had to describe it as anything, it was present.
Jay started up a new conversation, pulling Jake in instantly and even roping in Heeseung since it was about a game the three of them were playing. You watched with fondness in your gaze, resting against Jungwon's chest. You let out a happy sigh, and he readjusted his arms around you.
"Hey," he said quietly, voice right by your ear given the position you were in, "you doing ok?"
"Mhm," you nodded and looked to the side to give him a smile. He returned it, and you finally noticed that he looked a littleโฆshy, perhaps?
"Good. Didn't wanna scare you away withโ well, everything this morning."
You laughed as you leaned your head back against his shoulder and closed your eyes. "Nothing you do will ever keep me away. You're stuck with me โ no returns, no refunds, no exchanges."
Jungwon chuckled beneath you, and one of his hands rested on your thigh now. "And I wouldn't have it any other way."
The rest of the morning was chill and calm, a break from the internal chaos you'd been experiencing for a little over maybe 12 hours now. At some point you dozed off, feeling comfortable and safe in Jungwon's warm embrace.
After you woke up some time later, you noticed that during your slumber, Jungwon had wrapped one of his pinkys around yours. He was still asleep underneath you, letting out soft snores against your shoulder while one arm was still curled around your waist.
It'd only been a few days but your feelings were more out of sorts than ever. Each time you and Jungwon hung out now there was some kind of weird energy between the two of you โ not weird in a bad way, but just strange. Like you couldn't tell if he might've been feeling more like you were or if you truly were destined to stay this way forever โ always the best friend, but never more than that.
For example, anytime Jake was around now, if Jungwon was there, he had to be touching you. Either his hand was brushing against yours, his arm was around your shoulders, he had a hand on your waist when you were beside him, basically anything like that.
Subtle, but very clearly saying: I'm here.
Did that deter Jake from flirting? Not really, but he did tone down the frequency of his comments at least, and for that you were grateful.
You knew there was no bad blood between Jungwon and Jake; they'd been close friends for too long to let lighthearted teasing shake things up. But you'd known Jungwon longer, and you know that for Jungwon, you were his best friend. And maybe that's why Jake being more bold bothered him the way it did.
You wouldn't delude yourself into thinking otherwise, because that would just get your hopes up before they inevitably came crashing down once again.
All these thoughts were racing through your mind while you sat with your back against the wall in the dance studio. Your arms were propped up on your knees as you watched Jungwon and Heeseung practice a routine for an upcoming show.
Jungwon decided today would be an amazing day to wear a black tank top and gray sweatpantsโ because who needs sanity, right?
Heeseung was a little more modest in his choice of clothing, a white t-shirt and black sweats, but Jungwon was distracting enough on his own that you didn't think it'd matter what Heeseung wore, your eyes would still be glued to him.
His blonde hair was damp from sweat, and he kept having to push it out of his face midway through their repeats of the routine. Heeseung called for a 5 minute break, and Jungwon started jogging over to you, big smile on his face.
"Did you see that? We're so close to nailing it, I can taste it."
That phrasing wasn't helping you think appropriate thoughts, especially not when this close you could see beads of sweat rolling down his neck and ending at the dip in his collarbone.
"You guys are doing great," you stood up and offered him his water bottle with a genuine smile, looking up at the ceiling afterwards to avert your focus from watching his Adam's apple bob when he drank from the bottle.
God, you really needed to get a grip. And not a grip of Jungwonโ you needed to pull yourself together.
Jungwon seemed pleased with your praise, wiping the back of his mouth before he handed the water back. "Sorry I'm a bit messy right now, I know it's not like, the most appealing sightโ"
"You're one of my favorite sights, no matter what."
The words slipped out before you could control them. There was no brain-to-mouth filter: only untethered feelings escaping you and taking up space in the atmosphere.
Jungwon blinked once, twice, before he stammered out an "O-oh. Thank you."
"R-right," it was your turn to stammer now, "well, uh, don't let me hold you up. Go get 'em!"
You tried to turn Jungwon around so he could walk back over to Heeseung, but when your hands reached out for his shoulders, he caught them with his own.
"By the way," he leaned in closer, giving your hands a small squeeze. You swore all other sound faded out in that moment.
"You're one of my favorite sights, too. Always."
You couldn't breathe. Jungwon's soft tone and closeness had you feeling intoxicated, and all you could do was nod in acknowledgement. He flashed that beautiful smile you saw all the time in your dreams before releasing your hands and turning around on his own.
"We don't have to stay too much longer, ok? Promise!" Without looking back, he held a hand up with his pinky outstretched โ promising.
You sunk back to the floor, wrapping your arms around your legs this time (pinky out as you did). Jungwon really gave you whiplash sometimes, and your body was flush with a heat you didn't usually feel, at least not this intensely.
Not out in the open, not here in the actual vicinity of Jungwon. This was a feeling you mostly kept to yourself, left between you and your bed on nights where you were tangled in your sheets, frustrated while you tried to pleasure yourself and calling out the name of the only one you wanted: him.
Today was going to be a long day. You rested your forehead on your knees, already anticipating things to get much worse.
And they did โ just not in the way you'd expected.
Back at your own place now, you couldn't get the images of Jungwon dancing out of your head. The way he moved so fluidly, like his body was influencing the music and not the other way around; you would stare at him in awe every time. You could watch him dance for hours, and had done so multiple times before, but seeing him like that today, it was like a switch had flipped.
His behavior earlier did nothing to stave off the desire you could feel creeping up and threatening to consume you. You'd gone through so many emotions in the span of a few hours and you were exhausted by it all.
Now was not the time to start spiraling over your best friend, the person who knew you better than you knew yourself, the person whose smile could always brighten your dayโ
You didn't need this breakdown. Not right now. Your thoughts were already muddled enough with all these (re)surfacing feelings about Jungwon.
You needed a distraction. Your mind drifted to Jake, who had been a bit more flirtatious than usual lately.
Were you thinking clearly? Not really.
But you'd try anything to get the stupid thoughts to shut the fuck up for once.
You remembered then the picture you'd taken the night you stayed over at Jungwon's place, in his room, posing on his bed. It was burning a hole in your camera roll, just waiting for you to send it to someone. Waiting for you to bare yourself in a way that you only wanted one person to see.
And you could never show that person โ thus was your dilemma.
Although, just because you couldn't send it to that person didn't mean you couldn't send it to anyone. And Jake did say he wouldn't mind if you sent him a picture.
And honestly? If you really thought about it, you could actually see yourself flirting back with a guy like Jake. The two of you had good chemistry already as friends, and it was safe to bet that there was a mutual attraction between the two of you from the compliments you'd both give.
What would Jungwon say, though? If you started dating one of his other good friends โ one of your other good friends? Especially now after he's been acting the way he has around Jake? Would he be upset, or annoyed, orโ
Would he even care to start with?
That last question left you with uneasiness in your chest. All of the pondering and 'what-ifs' started to make you feel antsy.
Without really thinking it through, you found the picture from the other night in your photo album and sent it.
[you] 8:28 PM: IMG.0902
You'd just texted Jake earlier in the day, so you knew he had to be near the top, if not at the very top, of your text list. You let out the breath youโd been holding, glad to have that out of your system. Now you could focus your attention on other thingsโ
Or you could check and make sure the message sent, because why wouldnโt you? Nothing wrong with being cautious, especially when it's something as normal as sending a guy who has been kinda-sorta flirting with you a risquรฉ picture of yourself with no warning.
You nearly dropped your phone as you stared wide-eyed at the screen.
โFuck,โ you breathed out. โNo no no-โ
[you] 8:29 PM: oh my god wait
[you] 8:29 PM: pls donโt open that
[you] 8:29 PM: just
[you] 8:29 PM: donโt scroll back up
[you] 8:29 PM: nothing to see up here
[you] 8:30 PM: iโll tell you some cool facts instead!!
[you] 8:30 PM: did you know that octopuses sometimes throw things when theyโre stressed
[you] 8:30 PM: just like people do
[you] 8:31 PM: crazy huh
You couldnโt even see the picture message on your screen anymore, and you knew Jungwon had a similar, if not the same, phone model like yours. So, it had to also be off his screen by now.
โฆright?
Panic seeped through your body, trying to settle into your bones. Every passing minute that you didn't get a response felt like torture.
The time it took Jungwon to respond was enough time for you to think of all the ways you could salvage this. It was also long enough for you to realize the only thing you could probably do now is skip town and start a new life elsewhere.
[wonie๐] 8:38 PM: well hi to you too
[you] 8:38 PM: yes hi hello pls donโt scroll up thank you ๐ซถ
[wonie๐] 8:38 PM: uh
[wonie๐] 8:38 PM: you know i canโt just like
[wonie๐] 8:38 PM: ignore that youโre trying to hide something from me rn right?
[you] 8:38 PM: ofc you can!
[wonie๐] 8:38 PM: actually i canโt
[wonie๐] 8:39 PM: itโs in the best friend handbook
[wonie๐] 8:39 PM: donโt tell me you already forgot :(
Somehow, Jungwon hadnโt managed to see it yet. Or he was just really good at pretending for your sake, which you wouldnโt put past him at all.
A sigh of relief slipped past your lips and, like a fool, you thought for a moment that you might even be in the clear.
[wonie๐] 8:40 PM: since you forgot the sacred bestie rules, i think itโs only fair that you tell me what you're hiding
[you] 8:40 PM: jungwon i am so serious pls just forget about it
[wonie๐] 8:40 PM: using the full name?? now i gotta know what you sent me
[you] 8:40 PM: wonie donโt
[wonie๐] 8:40 PM: nickname wonโt save you now
The wording had your heart racing but you shoved aside the feeling for now. You were in damage control mode and everything else could wait.
[you] 8:41 PM: pls??
[wonie๐] 8:41 PM: begging? you REALLY donโt want me to know do you
[you] 8:41 PM: believe me itโs better if you donโt :,)
[wonie๐] 8:41 PM: huh
[wonie๐] 8:41 PM: that so?
His tone was decipherable even through a screen. You knew what was coming next.
[wonie๐] 8:42 PM: bet.
Well, it was nice having an untainted friendship while it lasted. A few minutes went by as you sat at the edge of your bed with your head in your hands.
The vibration from your phone made you squeak because you hadnโt been expecting it so soon. Dread flowed through you as you opened it up to see what kind of damage had been done.
[wonie๐] 8:45 PM: oh
For some reason, you flinched. That simple โohโ hurt probably more than anything else he couldโve said. But also: why did you want him to say more when you were already mortified?
You knew why and just didnโt want to admit it. You could keep the feelings in. You would keep the feelings in.
If there was any way you could crawl back from the cliff edge you were dangerously dangling yourself over, you would do it without hesitation.
Your friendship with Jungwon meant more to you than the happiness you thought you might have if you were ever more than that.
And as soon as you were done dealing with this, youโd make sure everything would be normal and fine and all good again.
Your phone vibrated again in your hold. Surprised, you opened it again.
[wonie๐] 8:46 PM: well
[wonie๐] 8:46 PM: definitely wasn't expecting that
[you] 8:46 PM: yeah well you saw it now so you can just delete it and forget what happened
[wonie๐] 8:47 PM: cโmon you know me better than that
Pause. What?
Before you could question it further, another text popped up.
[wonie๐] 8:47 PM: where are you rn
[you] 8:48 PM: i'm at home. why??
[wonie๐] 8:48 PM: by yourself?
[you] 8:48 PM: yes?
You fumbled with your phone as it started vibrating wildly in your handsโthe custom vibration pattern you had set for whenever Jungwon was calling.
โฆJungwon was calling.
Could you answer him like this? Face him so soon without the guarded barrier of texted words without vocals behind them?
Your stomach swirled with anticipation as you decided โfuck it, why not.โ You answered after another second of vibration.
โH-hi.โ
โHey,โ Jungwonโs voice wasโฆa little off. He still sounded calm, like usual, but there was a slight edge to it. โWe gonna talk about it, or?โ
"About the octopus fact?" Deflection: that was your only tactic you had left up your sleeve. "It's really interesting actuallyโ"
"As much as I love hearing all your fun facts you have floating around in that pretty head of yours," Jungwon cut you off, tone sounding a little more amused now, "you and I both know what I'm asking about."
Your brain was trying to catch up with the fact that he just called you pretty. Well, more specifically your head, but you'd take what you could get.
It's not like Jungwon had never called you something like that before; he'd told you on numerous occasions when you looked nice in an outfit or he liked the way you styled your hair or something to that effect.
He'd even called you beautiful before, and you were very normal about that and definitely didn't dwell on it for 3 business days.
"Getting shy on me? Because you certainly don't look shy in that picture."
You whined. "Wonie, please delete it, it's so embarrassing."
A small chuckle filtered through the receiver. Had he always sounded that attractive over the phone?
"You sure we're talking about the same picture? Because what I'm looking atโฆ" he trailed off, leaving you to wonder where his thoughts were going.
"You're still looking at it," you nearly hissed in disbelief.
"Why wouldn't I? It's a nice picture. And if I'm not mistaken," his voice dipped lower, not a lot, but enough, "you're also wearing my shirt."
Of course he would be the one to notice that. You knew taking pics in his room had been a bad idea.
But you also felt soโฆconfident while doing it.
"You let me borrow shirts all the time, I fail to see why that's incriminating."
You did your best to keep your voice neutral, but the small hum he let out in response had the threads of your sanity fraying the longer you stayed on the phone.
"Just an observation. Was kinda hard to tell though, since you're almost not even wearing itโ"
"Jungwon!" You looked around your empty apartment, checking to make sure you were still alone, as if your outburst would cause someone to randomly appear in the room with you.
"Hey, I'm just pointing out what I'm seeing," you could almost imagine him with his hands held up in defense. "I'm not complaining either."
The conversation was taking aโฆbit more of an unexpected turn that you thought it would have. It definitely wasn't affecting you in any way, how he was talking to you. (It absolutely was affecting you.)
As if your body wanted to betray your delusions, you noticed then that your palm was sweaty and you had to readjust your grip on your phone.
It impressed you a little bit, not that you'd give him the satisfaction of knowing it, that he was able to tell the shirt was his since it was a dark blue color and the lighting in the room was also blueish in hue. You'd been very intentional about how you wanted the lighting to accentuate the shadows and highlights in the space.
If he only noticed the shirt, you could probably avoid being flustered into oblivion. He wasn't the biggest on attention to detail sometimes, so you breathed a little easier.
"Waitโฆis thatโ is that my room?"
Alright so maybe he paid a bit more attention to detail than you thought.
"Uhโ" you couldn't lie to him, you'd never been able to. "Yes."
Jungwon let out what sounded almost like a pained noise.
"Shit, ok, uhโ" nervous laughter you were unfamiliar with graced your ears. "That's, uhโ yeah."
You remembered at that moment how you were posing in the picture and you seriously wanted the ground to swallow you whole.
You were on your knees on Jungwon's bed, the same bed you slept in later that exact night, with him next to you. Your legs were slightly spread apart, thighs bare since you'd forgotten to bring shorts with you. Your hands tangled in the shirt as you were pulling it up; the hem of the shirt was only halfway up your chest, still covering you but barely. The look on your face in the picture as you stared at Jungwon's mirror was one that even you couldn't deny looked seductive.
You thought you heard Jungwon sigh; either that, or his breathing was off. "Listen, Iโ"
"I didn't mean to send it to you," you couldn't hold it in anymore. The words rushed out almost all at once, jumbled and incomprehensible to someone who didn't know any better. But you could tell by the shift you felt that Jungwon heard every word clearly.
"You didn'tโฆ mean to send itโฆ to me?" He sounded like he was trying out the words for the first time in that order, saying them like they didn't feel right.
You gulped. "Yeah. I-I didn't."
Rustling could be heard from the other side and you desperately wanted to know what was going through his head.
"So you mean to tell me," his tone was much more stoic than it had been before, "that you took pictures looking like thatโ in my room, wearing my shirt, sitting like that on my bed."
He sounded guarded, unlike his usual tone with you. Your skin prickled as you waited for him to continue.
"You were posing in front of my mirror," a brief pause, "and you didn't mean to send it to me?"
You nodded, even though he couldn't see it. "Right. I meant to send it toโ"
"I don't wanna know," Jungwon was quick to cut you off. "It's better if I don't know, actually." He added the last part softer, almost like he didn't want you to hear it.
Your heart thumped painfully in your chest. "Wonie, I'm sorryโ"
"Nothing to be sorry for," he sounded a little more like himself, maybe even like he was smiling like he would whenever he wanted to comfort you, but you could see through it. "It was a mistake. Accidents happen. Doesn't mean I'm upset with you."
"I know, butโฆ I'm still sorry." Your grasp on the phone was tight enough that you could feel the pain start to spread through your knuckles with how taut they were.
"Don't be." A moment of silence before he continued with what you knew this time was a sigh. "I need to go."
He hadn't said 'I should go' or 'I have to do something,' he said 'I need to go.'
The very specific phrasing had you panicking internally as you scrambled to fix thisโ whatever this was. "Wait, pleaseโ"
"I'll talk to you later," Jungwon ignored your plea for him to stay. You tried to swallow past the lump in your throat.
"Wonieโฆ"
"Whoever it's meant for is lucky, though," he added quietly, making your breath catch. "And they better know it."
He hung up before you could answer. The dial tone had never seemed so loud.
You sat in the stifling silence of your room for a few minutes, replaying your conversation and trying to pinpoint exactly where you went wrong. The more you mulled it over, it didn't seem like Jungwon had really been bothered by the picture itself, but more so the fact that you didn't mean to send it to him.
Maybe you hadn't been imagining the possessive edge to his tone when he was talking about you being in his room wearing his clothes on his bed.
And maybe Jungwon just needed to leave to go hang out with the guys. Which would be a totally reasonable explanation as to why he would suddenly end the conversationโฆ and also not invite you to tag alongโฆ
There wasn't much time to fixate on it further before your phone was going off again, but this time someone different was calling.
"Hello?" There was a small waver to your voice because your emotions were a little all over the place at the moment but you thought you managed to hide it well.
"Hey, hope I'm not bothering you," Jay was on the other end, sounding almost as confused as you were. "Do you have any idea why Won just left the apartment suddenly in the middle of the night? He's not answering his phone, so I figured if anyone knew where he went it would be you."
Your stomach lurched.
"No, he didn't say โ I thought he was going somewhere with you guys."
You could picture Jay shaking his head. "Nah, he just walked out of his room and left. I don't think he even took anything like a bag with him and it's supposed to storm soon."
"I talked to him on the phone a few minutes ago but all he said was he needed to go โ he's not answering when you call?"
"He hasn't answered me or Hee. I'd get Jake to try but I doubt that would work if us trying already didn't."
A feeling of guilt had clawed its way into your chest, weighing you down with each passing moment. Jungwon wasn't the type to just leave without saying something; he'd tell at least one of his friends, if he didn't already tell you.
Maybe you fucked up more than you thought.
"If he shows up there, call me, yeah? I'm not super worried, really, butโ this does seem kinda off."
You gulped. "Yeah, of course. You'll be the first to know if I find out anything."
"Thanks, and same here if we hear something before you do."
You hung up the phone after saying goodbye to Jay and wracked your brain as to where Jungwon could be. It was the middle of the night, there was bound to be rain soon so he probably wouldn't be outside, and it was somewhere he wanted to be right nowโ
You made up your mind and grabbed an umbrella along with your keys on the way out of your apartment, already knowing where to look first.
The dance studio โ that was the only place that made reasonable sense. You tried a few other places before that, but honestly you should've just started with the studio to begin with.
You parked your car and noticed right away that Jungwon's car wasn't there, meaning he must've walked, despite it being later in the evening. The idea made your stomach twist further when you remembered Jay told you he left without a bag or anything.
The behavior was so unlike Jungwon. No wonder you were all worried.
You got out of the car and hesitated before you walked up to the front door of the studio. There wasn't a light on inside that you could see through the windows, but the feeling in your gut compelled you to try the doorknob anyway. When you did, it turned easily under your hand, and the door creaked open slowly.
Luckily for you, your intuition was right. It usually was when Jungwon was involved.
Light was peeking through underneath one of the doors down the hallway. It looked to be coming from the last room, if your perception could be trusted, which would also make sense because Jungwon preferred practicing in there anyway.
Music got louder as you made your way down the hall. You took a deep breath, hoping that Jungwon might not be here and maybe he went out to grab something quick and was already back home.
Another part of you hoped he was here and you weren't about to walk in on some stranger just trying to enjoy some alone time while they danced.
You wouldn't know until you tried โ so with a cautious hand, you turned the door handle and gently pushed the door open. Without thinking, you locked it out of habit once you stepped in the room.
Inside the room was Jungwon, dancing more aggressively than you'd ever seen him dance before. Music was playing from his phone over the speaker in the room. You quickly texted Jay to let him know, heartbeat picking up slightly at his last response.
[jay๐โโฌ] 9:35 PM: thanks for letting me know
[jay๐โโฌ] 9:35 PM: take care of him, yeah? you're the person who does it the best
You would deal with what that could possibly mean at a later time. Right now: Jungwon.
With your eyes fixed on him now, there was a certain kind of ferocity to his moves that took your breath away. His expression that you could see through the mirror, however, hurt your chest.
His brows were furrowed in frustration and he was biting his bottom lip, hard enough that you figured it had to hurt. He was hitting every move with careful precision, but near the end of the song, he fumbled and fell to the floor, hard.
"Jungwon!" You couldn't help the cry you let out, surely inaudible to him due to the loud music that was still playing.
Jungwon sat himself up and stretched his legs out in front of him. He smacked the hardwood floor with his hand as he shouted "Fuck!"
He buried his head in his hands, pulling at the blonde strands of his hair while the music died down before the loop of audio started again.
There was no way you could sit back and watch him like this, you had to do something.
Even if you were the last person he wanted to see right now, even if he wanted nothing to do with you โ he was still your best friend. He was still your Jungwon.
You ran over to him, steps barely making any sound since you were wearing lighter shoes. When you were beside him, you crouched down. One hand already was reaching out, but you didn't want to startle him, so you just hoped he'd be able to hear you.
"Wonie?" You said it as loudly as you could without yelling, still trying to do it softly even though there was just no way it would come out like that.
Jungwon flinched before he slowly removed his hands from his face. He looked over at you like he almost couldn't believe you were there next to him. His expression was pained, and you had no idea how to fix it.
He lowered the volume of the music so you didn't have to yell to be heard. "Why are you here?"
The sound of his voice broke your heart. He sounded defeated almost, and whether it was about him missing a move or something else, you still weren't sure.
"I needed to come see you. Needed to make sure you were ok."
He scoffed and looked away, the sound devastating you even further. "Why? It's not like I'm on your mind."
Ouch.
"Wonie, just talk to me, please," you tried to plead, to make him see sense.
"What is there to talk about? I'm here dancing, like usual. Nothing's wrong. You came all this way for nothing."
That may have actually been the first time Jungwon lied to you and you knew he was lying. And fuck, if that didn't also hurt.
"Why are you lying? Are you that upset with me?" You were trying not to let any tears fall but you had been through such an emotional roller coaster in the last hour alone that it was getting more difficult to hold it in.
Jungwon seemed to soften a little at that, but his jaw was still clenched. He shifted to where he was sitting with his arms propped up on his knees now, the movement making him wince slightly.
"Also you fell, are you hurtโ"
His laughter, devoid of humor, cut you off. "So you saw that? Great." He ran a hand through his hair, almost pulling on the strands. "How long were you watching me fail before you decided to let me know you were here?"
"You weren't failing, it looked like you were doing great to me."
"Maybe you just don't know what to look for."
The coldness of his tone took you by surprise. Even during fights you'd had in the past, Jungwon never seemed this distant with you. It sparked the defensive reaction in you, even though you desperately wanted anything but that to happen right now.
"I've spent countless amounts of hours watching you dance. I think I know what I'm looking at."
He scoffed. "Do you? Do you really?"
His sudden standing made you wobble a bit before you regained your balance. He was walking toward the mirrors, and you followed him with no hesitation.
"Do you really know what you're looking at when you see me? Because I don't think you do."
He was looking at you through the mirror, placing a palm on it for support.
"I see you dancing, I see your movement, I see when you manage to land what looks to be impossible. Wonie, I see how amazing you are when you dance. You come alive when the music plays."
His head turned and the sad smile on his face made your stomach drop.
"Not what I asked you."
He started walking back over to you, his steps almost hesitant. You stayed rooted where you were โ afraid to move, to breathe, to even blink.
You had to find out what was going on, you needed to fix it.
"I'm asking if you see me," Jungwon reiterated, "when you watch me, when you look at me. Or do you see me as just your best friendโ just a person, something indifferent?"
Jungwon was, and always had been, so much more than 'just' anything and you'd tell him endlessly if you had to. But right now, you weren't sure what he was implying, so the thought stayed secure in your head, instead of making itself known like it probably should have.
You frowned. "I'm confused, I don't know what you're asking."
He sighed, the sound heavy like it weighed him down. "Just go home. I'll go back eventually."
His dismissal was what finally broke the dam. Tears fell now and you didn't bother to try and stop them.
"Did I fuck up that bad?"
Your voice was quiet, but it was enough. When Jungwon looked at you, any trace of prior frustration was wiped clean off his face as soon as he saw your lower lip quivering.
"Hey, waitโ"
"I understand if sending that picture fucked up things with us, and- and if you don't want anything to do with me anymoreโ"
"Whoa, hang on a second," he responded in an almost panicked voice. He reached a hand out, not sure where to place it or if he should even place it at all.
"โI need to hear it from you." You looked him in the eyes as you said it, before you angled your body away. "I need to know that's what you want."
"What I want," Jungwon placed both hands on your shoulders to turn you so you were facing him, his tone gentler now, "is for you to listen to me. Who said anything about you fucking up?"
You let out a shallow breath. "That's what this is about, isn't it? I fucked up our friendship by doing something stupid."
"No, no, you didn't do anything like that. Hey," Jungwon tilted your chin so you'd face him again, "I mean it."
He had said it with conviction, and you so badly wanted to believe him.
"Then why- why were you acting like I don't see you for who you are, or whatever the hell that meant?" You didn't want to raise your voice but it was getting harder to tame that urge. "Why are you acting like you can't stand to be near me?"
The last words came out as a sob. His hand fell from your chin while the other dropped from your shoulder.
"It's not that I don't want to be around you."
"Then what is it, Jungwon? You're giving me mixed signals." Some thoughts you had kept hidden away for a long time were filtering their way through now, words like 'mixed signals' being thrown around because you were at a loss.
"I don't know how you want me to answer that."
You inhaled, the move somewhat shaky since you'd been crying. "Answering honestly would be a good start."
Jungwon dragged a hand down his face. "Fuckโ fine. Fine." He took a deep breath before he continued.
"It's because being around you makes this harder."
Thatโฆ wasn't what you'd been expecting to hear. You didn't really know what you were expecting, but it definitely wasn't that.
"Makes what harder? I don't understandโ"
Jungwon groaned, walking closer to the mirrors again. You followed instantly, like there was a magnetic pull between the two of you.
"It makes denying how I feel about you harder, ok?" His voice had raised somewhat, hand running through his hair again. "Please don't ask me to explain, because I don'tโ I'm not sure I can do that."
"Denyingโฆ how you feel?"
Jungwon gulped before he nodded.
"And how do you feel?"
Jungwon sighed, the sound rough, uneven. "Please don't make me do this. I can'tโ I won't mess up what we have. It's worth everything to me," his voice was quieter now.
At some point he must have stopped the music playing from his phone without you realizing because you couldn't hear it in the background anymore, leaving you plenty of opportunity to notice when he spoke softer.
The gears in your brain were turning and you thought that maybe, just maybe, you understood what path he was trying to go down. Your heart was slamming against your chest, beating much too fast for what was probably appropriate, but if he was saying what you thought he wasโ
Well, sometimes the risk was worth the reward, right?
"Jungwon," you started, "I love you."
A small smirk graced his lips, but you couldn't tell if it was one of amusement or one of disbelief. "I know. I love you, tooโ"
"Wonie," you interrupted, stepping closer to where you were right in front of him. "I love you."
Your emphasis on the word 'love' was clear.
Jungwon's breath hitched. His eyes searched yours, like he was trying to decipher a riddle you had just dropped on him. "โฆwhat are you saying?"
Well, no turning back now.
You took a deep breath and shut your eyes for a brief moment before you looked at him with all your vulnerability bared.
"I'm in love with you. And I'm tired of pretending that I'm not."
The way Jungwon's eyes widened made you panic internally for all of maybe 2 seconds before the most beautiful smile you'd ever seen adorned his face.
"No way," he breathed, laughing a little at the end. "No fucking way." His hands cupped your face as his thumbs gently brushed against your cheeks. "You're not fucking with me, are you?"
It was somewhat hard to shake your head in his hold but you still managed. "Never."
Jungwon pulled you into a tight, nearly suffocating hug and buried his face in your shoulder.
"Me too," he said softly. His embrace loosened a little, so as not to crush you, but he didn't dare move away.
"You too?"
He lifted his head, face mere inches away from yours as his arms remained wrapped around you.
"I'm in love with you, too. I'm so fucking gone for you, I have been for a long time."
Hearing him mirror your confession made your heart do a weird little stutter, but you didn't have long to process it before he was speaking again.
"I've been so terrified of ruining our friendship, which means more to me than anything else in the world, other than you." His eyes were shining, full of emotion.
"The night we slept in my bedโ don't remind me about the next morning," he immediately stopped you when your mouth opened the slightest amount. He knew that mischievous look on your face better than anyone else.
You giggled and let him continue.
"That night was the closest I'd come to throwing caution to the wind and confessing."
"Why didn't you?" You brushed a strand of hair back from his face, delighted in the way the small movement seemed to affect him.
Jungwon laughed, a sound you loved dearly. "Well, what was I supposed to say? 'Hey, it's driving me crazy being this close to you in my bed while you're wearing my shirt and looking like thatโ also I'm very much in love with you, by the way.'"
It was your turn to laugh fully as you laid your forehead on his shoulder. One of his hands came up to rest on the back of your head, while the other arm was still curled around your waist.
"I mean, had you said that, I wouldn't have been opposedโ"
Jungwon scoffed teasingly, making you look back up at him. "Of course you would say that."
"You got a problem with it," you teased him.
He smiled. "Not at all."
The silence after was comfortable, and you could feel the charged energy sparking between the two of you. Jungwon broke the silence first, bringing his hand from the back of your head to caress the side of your face.
"Can I kiss you?"
"Please," you responded instantly, wanting to feel his lips against yours more than you wanted anything else in that moment. Jungwon wasted no time leaning in and claiming your mouth with his own.
You'd often imagined what it would feel like to kiss Jungwon, and in every scenario your brain conjured up, you always deemed that it would feel amazing no matter what. Your imagination couldn't even begin to compare to the actual feeling.
His lips moved against yours with a slow, tender rhythm. He wasn't trying to rush anything, savoring the taste of you as you melted against him. His movements were purposeful and gentle, but with just enough pressure to take your breath away. Kissing him felt right, it felt like you were whole, it felt likeโ
Kissing Jungwon felt like home.
When he finally pulled away, his eyes were still closed and he was breathing hard. He rested his forehead against yours.
"Fuck, so much better than I thought it would be," he sounded breathless. You smiled and looked down, surprised to see the tiniest bit of shaking in his knees.
"Wonie? Your kneesโ"
He chuckled. "Oh right, that. Guess 'weak in the knees' isn't just a phrase after all."
You laughed at his silly response, trying to ignore how you were rapidly heating up inside.
Kissing you made Jungwon's knees weak. You had that much of an effect on him. The revelation was doing things to you.
This time, you were the one who flustered him as you took the lead, pulling him closer by fisting your hands in his shirt. His answering grunt at the impact made your stomach flip.
Jungwon took the opportunity to walk forward as you were kissing, his hands firm on your waist as he guided you backward. His lips didn't leave yours, and the way he deepened the kiss while still making sure you didn't fall as you walked drew a noise from you that he seemed to really like.
Your back collided with a surface, the thud making you gasp into Jungwon's mouth. His fingers curled tighter around your waist.
"Fuck, sorry," he breathed before he started trailing kisses along your jaw. "Can't believe I get to see you like this."
Your fists clenched in his shirt as he went further, leaving light touches along your neck that intensified the lower he went.
"Can't believe I get to hear you like this." He brushed his lips against a particularly sensitive spot on your neck and you whined at the sensation. You could feel Jungwon's pleased smirk against your skin.
"Can't believe I get to touch you like this." He emphasized his words by squeezing you where his hands were holding you by the waist.
His face was in front of yours again, eyes searching for a moment before you saw a breathtaking smile.
"Can't believe you're mine."
You leaned in for another kiss with a false sense of gentleness before you pulled him closer by the grip you had on his shirt. Your lips landed on his with a hunger you didn't bother trying to tame.
You'd waited so long for even a chance for something like this to happen, there was no way you were holding back now. Especially not when Jungwon was this receptive to it.
The noise you swallowed down from him had you noticing the way you were already soaked from just this little bit of intimacy.
When Jungwon finally managed to pull away โ begrudgingly, it looked like โ his eyes found yours.
"Are you?" He asked it softly, almost like he was scared of the answer.
"Am I what?"
Jungwon brushed a piece of hair from your face before his palm rested against your cheek.
"Mine."
You smiled so big that if your face could've cracked it surely would have โ smiling so hard that it almost hurt.
"Always have been."
Jungwon's deep groan as he pressed his body up against yours was driving you crazy.
"Fuck, god, that'sโ you have no idea how long I've wanted to hear that. How long I've wanted this," his thumbs brushed along your hip from where his hands were still holding onto you for dear life, "how long I've wanted you."
You wound your arms around his neck, pressing yourself up against him until you could feel him. He was just as affected as you were by all this, which made you happy in a way you'd never quite felt before.
"Then show me."
His smirk was deadly. "Right now? In here? You sure you want that, baby?"
This man was going to be the death of you, what the fuckโ
"What if someone else came in, hm?" His tone was playful, but the look in his eyes made you wonder how much of it was meant in jest. "You want people to see you, to hear you while I make you mine?"
You gulped. "I locked the door, soโ"
"Oh? Look at you, thinking ahead," his thumbs skirted around the hem of your shirt, just barely pushing it up.
"I did it without thinking," you tried to clarify, but your body betrayed you when he placed another kiss on that same sensitive spot he found earlier.
"Sure, baby, sure. I believe you." His hands were fully underneath your shirt now, still lingering around your waist. The feeling of skin on skin made you shiver. "Gonna let me take care of you?"
You nodded, ready for whatever Jungwon was about to do and if he didn't do it soon you might have actually started whining for real.
A ghost of a kiss graced your lips, barely there but still enough.
"Can I touch you?"
You nodded a little too fast, making Jungwon chuckle at your eagerness before he shook his head.
"Have to hear you, sweet girl. Tell me what you want."
"Please, Wonie," you mumbled the words against his lips, "touch me."
Jungwon moaned against your mouth. "Fuck, hearing you say my name like thatโ god, I can't explain what it does to me."
He held you against the wall behind you with one hand while he dipped his other one into the front of your sweats, taking his time even as you trembled with want in his hold. He brushed lightly over your panties and the way you flinched made his eyes widen.
"Holy shit, really? That sensitive?"
"Don't make fun of me," you whined out, eyes shut as you prepared yourself forโฆ well honestly anything, because it appeared that no matter what Jungwon did it was going to wreck you.
"No, baby, never, I'm not making fun of youโ it's hot as fuck, are you kidding me?"
He teased you again, pressing firmer against your clit through the fabric. The wetness he felt despite not actually touching you properly yet made his breath stutter.
"All this for me? God," Jungwon sounded amazed, "you're unreal."
"Please," you pleaded, hoping he'd actually touch you like he said he would.
"Fuck, ok, I got you," his tongue darted out to wet his lips as he pushed your panties to the side. His fingers caressed your folds gently, rubbing against your clit in slow, rhythmic circles.
"Wonie," you moaned out his name, making the rhythm of his hand falter.
"Ah, I can't get used to that," Jungwon threw his head his head back to get hair out of his eyes, "you sound so fucking pretty for me."
He caught your eyes as he teased your entrance with one finger, checking to make sure that this was ok, that you were ok.
"Please," you repeated it like a broken record. You wouldn't be surprised if by the end of the night you only knew that word and some form of Jungwon's name.
He didn't hesitate, moving inside you with a steady pace, one that had you clinging now to the back of his shirt. A sharp gasp left you when he hit a familiar spot. You tried to muffle your sounds by biting your lip, but Jungwon wasn't having that.
He pulled your bottom lip down from where your teeth were holding it, smoothing over it with his thumb. "Let it out, baby. Need to hear how I'm making you feel."
You moaned then, unrestrained, and felt how his thumb pressed against your lip in response before he placed his hand back on your hip.
Jungwon added another finger, managing to make you come undone with just two of them. Usually it would probably take more of this, but honestly you had no doubt that Jungwon could make you come untouched if he really tried hard enough.
You were sure he'd probably try that one dayโ if this was something that continued.
But now wasn't the time for those thoughts. Now was the time to focus on the beautiful man in front of you who you'd been dreaming about for years now, hoping to maybe experience a fraction of this with him even if it was just one time.
"You're so responsive, it's driving me crazy," Jungwon said the words with his tone full of wonder. "You sound like you're already closeโ"
"I am," you tried to warn him as your hand shot out to grasp his wrist โ not to make him stop, but to encourage him to keep going. "Please don't stop."
"Wouldn't dream of it," he said the words against the column of your throat, finding that spot inside you over and over again, drawing you closer to your peak.
"God, I wish you could see yourself," he placed kisses anywhere he could on your face. "So beautiful."
When your moans started rising in pitch, you chanced a look at Jungwon. He looked like he'd been studying your reactions โ every twitch of your body, every time your eyebrows furrowed, each time your mouth hung open in a silent scream of pleasure. He was studying you the same way he did a new dance routine, taking it all in until the motions were as easy as breathing for him.
He also had a devious expression on his face, which somehow, confusingly, made you even more aroused.
"Hey, baby?"
He was still moving, but the questioning tone took you off guard. "Y-yeah?"
It sounded way too casual for someone who was currently pulling downright depraved noises out of you.
"Got an idea โ can I try something?"
"Does it involve you stopping, because please no," you sounded desperate, but if he truly did want to to stop you absolutely would with no questions asked. You had a feeling that wasn't what he was implying, though.
He chuckled and placed a kiss on your forehead. "I'll only stop for a second, but it'll be worth it, I promise."
You pretended to think about it, knowing damn well you'd happily and very willingly let this man do pretty much anything he wanted to you.
"Go ahead, but make it quick."
Your tone was clearly teasing, and you knew Jungwon got the vibe of it from the way he smiled.
Before you could comprehend what was happening, you were suddenly being turned around. Your hands shot out to brace yourself, and what you thought was a wall in fact wasn't one at all.
You came face to face with your own reflection โ eyes glassy, lips swollen, breathing hard. And behind you stood Jungwon, looking just as much a mess, if not even more than you were. He looked beautiful like this, ethereal.
His stare in the mirror was lethal, and he kept his eyes on you as he gave your earlobe a gentle tug with his teeth. He pressed closer to you against your back when you moaned at the feeling.
He placed a kiss on your neck right underneath you ear before he finally said words you didn't know you'd been waiting to hear.
"You're gonna watch while I make you fall apart."
His hand found you again, and he slipped three fingers inside this time, the stretch surprising but not unwelcome. Jungwon grunted at the way you clenched around his fingers as your body jerked in his hold.
You had no time to react before you were moaning louder, eyes shut tightly, the feeling overwhelming you in all the best ways. The effort to open your eyes was overpowered by the intense pleasure coursing through you, but Jungwon wasn't having it.
"Keep those pretty eyes open for me," he mumbled the words against the exposed part of your shoulder, desire coating every syllable. "I meant what I said โ you're gonna watch."
Your eyes barely blinked open as you tried to obey, but your head kept dropping down; Jungwon must've decided that he should give you some help.
His 'help' came in the form of a hand curving around your jaw from behind, holding your face in place as his fingers moved faster inside of you. Your back was flush against his chest now with the new positioning, and you could tell through the multiple layers of clothing just how bad he was aching for you โ how hard he was for you.
He breathed along the shell of your ear, grunting when he felt your hips moving. "Fuck, do you know how many times I've thought about this? About watching you come undone for me?"
He ground against you, chasing the friction he so desperately wanted while you continued to melt in his hands.
You shook your head when you remembered he had asked you a question. "I don't knowโ but me too."
"Shit, you've thought about this too, yeah? Me ruining you with just my fingers?" He increased his pace and one of your hands grabbed his arm that was in front of you. Your nails dug in slightly, making him go even harder.
"Yes, yes Wonie," you answered truthfully, because honestly, you'd probably pictured him with you in every explicit way possible at this point.
"Fuck," you felt him moving against you more, somewhat matching the rhythm of his hand that was showing you no mercy. The way he was pushing you up against the mirror now with his own movements made you feel one separation away from going actually feral. You were close enough that your breath fogged up the glass as you tried to keep yourself together.
"Close, baby?" His own breaths were coming out in shorter pants now, and you could feel when he moaned against your cheek as he placed a tender kiss there. "Gonna cum for me?"
"Wonie, fuck, all for you." Your release was approaching quickly, and you still tried your hardest to keep your eyes open.
"All for meโonly for me," Jungwon spoke the words against your neck. You trembled in his hold.
"C'mon, give it to me," he continued. He stared at you through the mirror, his eyes determined, his bottom lip caught by his teeth. When he let it go, he leaned in closer, still keeping eye contact with you before he said what would ultimately be your undoing.
"I need it."
As the pleasure rippled through your body, your back arched and your head landed against his shoulder behind you. He held you through your climax, only letting up on his relentless pace when your moans turned more into whines of oversensitivity.
"Fuck," Jungwon almost sounded more out of breath than you did. "Came so good for me. Looked so beautiful, just like I always knew you would."
You tried to catch your breath as you gave him a lazy smile through the mirror. Jungwon carefully pulled his fingers out, focused so intensely on making sure he didn't overstimulate you that he almost missed your response. The sight of him sucking your essence from his fingers made you become the one more weak in the knees this time.
He hummed around his fingers before he pulled them back out. "Taste so good, too."
The sudden change as he went about fixing your clothing was unexpected, but not unwelcome. His gentle movements and the kiss he placed on top of your head made you feel warm and fuzzy inside for a completely different reason.
But if he thought you were done, he was wildly mistaken because you were far from it.
You turned in his hold, his arms releasing you easily. As you pulled him in for a kiss, you moved one hand down until you could feel him. The surprised moan he let out as soon as you touched him over his clothes had to be one of the hottest sounds you'd ever heard in your entire life.
"Oh fuck, didn't think I'd be that sensitive, ha," Jungwon's eyes were having a hard time staying open now โ something you would inevitably tease him about later.
"Gonna let me return the favor, Wonie?" Your tone was teasing, playful, but the movements of your hand were a stark contrast, if the noises escaping him were anything to go by.
He managed to open his eyes again before he nodded. "Yeah, yeah, ahโ please."
Without wasting anymore time, you fell to your knees in front of him. You dragged your mouth along the bulge in his sweats, and he cursed above you.
Jungwon found it hard to look at you, and you could see his hands clenching and unclenching at his sides like he didn't know how to handle what was happening. "God, you on your knees for me, fuckโ"
"Wonie," you said the word against him before your hands went to his waistband. "Look at me."
"Might not be the best idea if you want me to last literally any time at all," Jungwon rushed the words out, resulting in a giggle from you. You really did love this man.
"You can do it, can't you? For me?"
You were using the most sickly-sweet tone you could. Which, honestly, probably wasn't fair because you knew how it made him feel to hear you like that.
With a groan, Jungwon obeyed to the best of his ability. The look in his eyes spurred you on with a renewed sense of vigor, and the way his bottom lip was captured once again between his teeth in anticipation almost ruined you again right there on the floor.
"Want you to watch me," you continued with a quick kiss over his sweats before you started pulling them down. You stopped for only a moment to make sure it was ok, and his vigorous nod was all the answer you needed.
Jungwon's head tilted back when you palmed him again, this time through one less layer. A deep groan rumbled from his throat. "Holy fuck. God, you'reโ I can't believe what I'm seeing right now."
When he looked back down at you, the smile you graced him with was nothing short of radiant, and you could tell by how it made his breath hitch. When you finally had all clothing out of the way, you just had to admire him for a few seconds because he had the prettiest cock you'd ever seen.
You couldn't help the small laugh you let out when you saw him twitch because you were staring.
"You, uhโ like what you see?"
Poor baby sounded so nervous, you had to put this man out of his misery. You wrapped a hand around him and he hissed at the contact.
"Love it," a slow stroke of your hand made him twitch again, this time in your hold. "So pretty, Wonie."
"Pretty is, uh, an interesting word that's for sure," he cut himself off with a moan when you placed a quick kiss on the tip. "How am I gonna survive thisโ"
"Just let me take care of you, ok?" A gentle tone to coincide with the slow drags of your hand was the perfect combo to have him already losing his mind even though you'd barely started. You had one more trick up your sleeve and you had to see if it would have the effect you were thinking it might.
"Oh, and Wonie?"
He hummed in response, the hum shifting quickly into a grunt when you added a little more pressure. He looked down at you and you gave him your most devious smile.
"It's my turn now to watch you fall apart."
The way Jungwon's head hit the mirror behind him when you took him into your mouth would've concerned you, had it not been for the sound of pure pleasure that he let out. His hands were reaching behind him as well, scrambling against the glass for something to hold onto and failing miserably.
You teased him for a few more seconds before you pulled back, giggling at the way his eyes were shut tight after he'd been the one making you keep yours open. You kept stroking him with a rhythm that had his hands pressing against the mirror once more.
"Can't keep your eyes on me, baby?" Jungwon twitched in your hand at the pet name; you truly loved the effect you had on this man. He opened his eyes just barely to peek at you before quickly shutting them again.
"If you don't want me to โ fuck โ cum down your throat in like 5 seconds then yeah, I fear I can't look at you."
The teasing tone made you feel a different kind of warmth inside, because as serious as he was (probably) being, he was still the same, silly Wonie you fell in love with.
"Who says I can't make you cum again?"
"Ok, what the actual fuckโ you can't just say shit like that and," he paused to swallow down a moan, "expect me to be normal after."
"Wonie, just let go." You reached out and took one of his hands, placing it on top of your head. When you did the same with the other one, his eyes snapped open.
"Oh my godโ"
"You can be rough with me, you know." The way Jungwon nearly fell over at your words proved to you that no, he did not know that, but you were determined that he could learn.
"You're sure," he panted out the question, already pulling your hair after every stroke of your hand made him jolt. "I don't, ah, wanna get carried away."
"It's ok, Wonie," you placed a kiss on his thigh as reassurance, but the soft gesture had probably the opposite effect.
And you loved it.
It seemed you had instead managed to spur him on and convince him to finally let go, because as soon as you took him back into your mouth, the way he thrusted was anything but gentle.
It didn't take long for him to find a steady pace. He was still careful to not completely destroy your throat (even if you kind of wanted him to), but tears were still pooling in the corners of your eyes anyway.
"Fuck, I love you, what the fuck," his hands fisted strands of your hair harshly, the sting of the pain making you moan around him. The vibrations made his hips stutter, and another wave of arousal singed your insides with its heat.
You didn't want to take your mouth off of him, so you blindly reached up to grab one of his hands. His eyes shot open and he slowed to a stop.
"Fuck, I'm sorry, are you ok? Am I being too rough?"
Still, very stubbornly, not wanting to take him out of your mouth, you shook your head as easily as you could. You intertwined your fingers with his hand you were holding now as you kept going. Jungwon's head hit the glass again, the thud sounding much more painful this time.
"Fuck, ok, just, if you need to like โ fuck โ stop or something, let me know, ok?"
A reassuring squeeze of his hand was all he needed to pick up right where he left off. His sounds were coming out quicker now, and you could feel him twitching in your mouth every few thrusts.
"Close, close, babyโ"
As much as you wanted to keep going until your mouth was quite literally full of him, you needed to know what he wanted. You pulled off of him and inhaled, your lungs grateful for the air you didn't realize you'd been depriving yourself of.
"Where do you want it?"
"God, fuck, anywhere, justโah," Jungwon was breaking down right before your eyes, other hand gripping your hair with a fierceness you didn't really know he had. "You chooseโ"
"Down my throat," the words sounded better coming from you than you thought they would, considering you didn't usually say things like that. "I wanna taste you."
Jungwon shuddered, nodding with his head rubbing against the glass. "Fuck, okโ won't be long, uh," he trailed off, letting out another alluring moan as he fixed his stare on you.
"This is what you want? You're sure?"
Even if Jungwon had to be moments away from spilling down your throat, it warmed your heart how he still managed to put your comfort above his own pleasure, just as you would do with him. He always put you first.
Always had. Always will.
Nodding wouldn't be efficient enough, you needed him to know just how badly you did want this. With a shred of courage (and honestly a hint of sheer curiosity) you let go of his hand just enough to wrap your pinky around his.
Your shared signal over all these years โ you had no idea how this would go, but you couldn't think of a better way to convey how much you wanted to keep going.
And the reaction you got was better than anything you'd ever seen in your dreams.
The sound that left Jungwon's throat was one you weren't sure he made at first; it just sounded soโฆ raw. It reverberated in that part of the room, where he was up against the mirror with you on your knees, taking him in.
You were already aching for him again, every sound driving you a little more crazy, every falter in movement making you throb with want. And now that you'd had a taste, you'd probably never be satiated by anyone but Jungwon ever again.
"I fucking love you, oh my god, you're perfect, Iโ" Jungwon tried to swallow down his next moan, instead succeeding in only biting his lip. "โcumming, fuck!"
Those few words were all you got for a warning before you felt him fill your mouth. You swallowed down everything you could, mindful of how his hand on the back of your head helped steady you as he was still squeezing your pinky with his.
As soon as he lifted his hand from your head, he helped you stand up, despite the fact that he was still trying to catch his breath. You were barely steady before he pulled you into another heated kiss, this one more sensual but still with the same amount of intensity as before. If he could taste himself on your tongue, he really didn't seem to care at all.
After a few more shared kisses, Jungwon pulled back and rested his forehead against yours. "I'm not dreaming, right? This is real?"
"It better fucking be or you're going to deal with a very annoyed me tomorrow."
Jungwon laughed, the sound thankfully so much brighter and happier than when you first got here earlier. "So like, a regular day. Got it."
You playfully tapped his arm. "I am not always that bad."
"No, you're not." Jungwon agreed. "But I am always the one taking care of you."
"In more ways than one it would seem," you smiled as you brushed some strands of hair out of his eyes.
"In all the ways you'll let me, for as long as you let me." Jungwon looked at you with a softness in his eyes that you'd seen so many times before, but never quite knew what it meant.
After all these years, you finally found the answer: love.
there is an intended drabble about once they go back to his apartment that will hopefully follow in the near future! i felt like this was getting a little long and this would be a good place to stop for now (thank you @moonstruckpark for the reassurance also ๐ฉต)
you barely got a full look at him before jungwon had you caged against the wall of your apartment, mouth hot and clumsy on yours, hands everywhere. his suitcase was still tipped on its side near the door, one of his sleeves caught in the zipper.
and his voice. already breathless, wrecked, curling soft and low as his hips rolled against you like he was starving.
โi missed you, missed you so much.โ
he mumbled into your neck, voice almost too pretty to be real.
โi wanted this for weeks, babyโฆโ
you could tell.
he was shaking. trembling with every slow, needy press of his hips into yours. fully clothed, but it didnโt matter. you could feel how hard he was through his jeans. already leaking, already sensitive.
and you werenโt even halfway to the bedroom.
his arms wrapped tight around your waist like he thought youโd disappear. like if he let go, youโd be gone again. it made your chest ache. the desperation, the soft bruising kisses under your jaw, the little breathy sounds he kept trying to bite back.
โplease..โ
he whispered, nose brushing yours, lips trembling.
โlet me feel you, even just a littleโฆ iโll be good, i promise.. i just want you. i need you.โ
his voice cracked at the end, brows pulling together, and your fingers slid up the back of his shirt, feeling the heat of his skin and the tiny shiver that ran through him.
he melted. a quiet sound escaped his throat. low, soft, almost a purr. and he leaned in even closer, pressing his forehead to yours, the tips of his fingers sinking into your hips like he was grounding himself.
โiโll go slow.โ
he promised, lips brushing yours again.
โi wonโt rush, i swearโฆ just wanna be close to you. its been too long.โ
you hadnโt seen him in nearly a month. and it was killing him. you could see it in the way his lashes fluttered when you kissed him back. the way his entire body trembled when you whispered โokay.โ like heโd been waiting to hear it every night since he left.
โlay with me?โ
his voice was so small. so full of hope.
โjust for a bit?โ
he didnโt even make it to the bed before he was pulling you onto his lap on the couch, hands trembling as he unbuttoned his jeans just enough to free himself. hard and flushed and leaking against your thigh.
you didnโt even need to move.
just let him guide you into his arms, burying his face into the curve of your neck as you sank down on him slow. warm and tight and perfect. and the sound he let out. choked and whimpering, breath catching on the inhale. like he hadnโt breathed since the last time he had you.
โyou always feel like this?โ
he whispered.
โor is it just because you missed me too?โ
you didnโt answer. you didnโt have to. he was already kissing your collarbone, hips still, holding you so close it felt like your heartbeats had synced.
โnot going anywhere, i promiseโ
he whispered, voice a little cracked. and he would. he always kept his promises. especially the ones that ended with you wrapped around him, and him wrapped around you. he didnโt mean to move. really.
he was so warm, buried deep inside you, your head tucked under his chin and your fingers playing lazily with the collar of his hoodie. the TV had long since gone silent. your breaths rose and fell in sync. he couldโve stayed like that forever.
but then you shifted in your sleep.
just a tiny roll of your hips, a breathy little sigh against his neck. and it broke him. his arms tightened around you immediately. he pressed a kiss to your cheek, then your temple, then the corner of your mouth, all while his hips gave one slow, tentative thrust upward.
โmm, iโm sorry..โ
he whispered, even though he wasnโt.
โjust- iโm so hard, baby. i canโt help it. youโre too good to me.โ
you made a quiet sound, half-asleep, fingers curling in his shirt.
โdoes it feel okay?โ
he asked, voice cracking on the end, breath shuddering as he rolled up into you again. so slow, so deep, like he was scared heโd wake you too much.
โso warm, so soft... canโt believe i went weeks without this.โ
you nodded. barely. and that was all he needed. his movements stayed slow. sleepy. loving. not fucking, just making love. lazy and full of longing. the kind that said, i missed you. i need you. iโm not letting you go again. he kissed your jaw, whispering quiet praises like a prayer.
โthatโs it, baby. just like that. let me take care of youโฆโ
and he did. until the rhythm slowed again. until your breathing steadied. until he came with a soft, desperate moan into your skin, still buried deep, arms holding you like a memory.
and even then. he didnโt pull out. he never could.
omg hi!! so good to hear from you again ๐ฅน iโve been hoping that youโre doing well โค๏ธ
iโm doing ok! trying to balance grad school with my new job i just started about a month ago that has an insane change in hours so iโm still adjusting ๐ which has left me little time to write these days but oh man when i get back to it โ๏ธโ๏ธโ๏ธ
how have you been lately? always look forward to seeing asks from you ๐ฅน
๐ฉต pairing: down bad bestie!enha x down bad bestie!reader
โค๏ธ summary: you accidentally sent your best friend a suggestive meme but things took a different turn that you expected - also, you're both down bad for the other.
๐ฉต genre: smau, attempts at humor, some suggestiveness, amibguous (?) endings (you decide)
โค๏ธ content warnings: none really! nothing major, just suggestive jokes/insinuations
a/n: so bestie @moonstruckpark sent this incredible meme to our gc with @illneverrecover the other day and thus this idea was born ๐คฉ
experienced bf!jay x inexperienced afab!reader
jay was more experienced than you - that was a given. but he was also so sweet, always wanting to take things slow and at a pace you were comfortable with. the longer your relationship went on, however, the more things would heat up, leaving you craving more of jayโs touch, his lips, his everything. and if he wasnโt going to be the one to take that leap, youโd be the one to give it a try.
down bad!bestie enha x down!bad bestie reader
you accidentally sent your best friend a suggestive meme but things took a different turn that you expected - also, you're both down bad for the other.
โณ fatal trouble series [heewon] || ๐ฅ, ๐, ๐, ๐ฌ
bf!heeseung x afab!reader x bf!jungwon
after a heist gone wrong, you find yourself in the last place you want to be - right in the middle of enemy territory. your punishment for getting caught: being forced to drink from a chalice of your choosing, knowing that at least 1 of the 3 in front of you contains a deadly poison. whatโs worse? both your partners in life - and in crime - are right there with you, willing to drink from whichever cups you donโt.
โณ getting Over you (but not really) ๐ฎ || ๐ , ๐ฌ
best friend!heeseung x afab!reader
after you overhear heeseung talking to a friend one night about how he wanted more to befriend more girls to play games with - specifically Overwatch - you took it upon yourself to make that a reality. no one would have to know that the new girl he was playing with was youโฆ or at least thatโs what you thought.
down bad!bestie enha x down!bad bestie reader
you accidentally sent your best friend a suggestive meme but things took a different turn that you expected - also, you're both down bad for the other.
โณ day 2: quiet sex, forbidden
โณ day 8: first time, dacryphilia
โณ day 15: mirror sex, body worship
โณ day 18 (w/ jay): brat-taming, spitroasting
โณ day 23: praise kink, breeding
โณ day 29: sexting, hand kink
โณ your eyes only ๐งก [jungwon] || ๐ฅ, ๐, ๐, โ๏ธ
best friend!jungwon x afab!reader
what you intended to be a distraction from your unfortunate crush on your best friend turns into your worst possible nightmare; you sent pictures - those kind of pictures - to the wrong person on accident. the person on the other end? jungwon - your best friend of many years and the absolute last person youโd want to damage your friendship with. youโd do anything to keep it from falling apart, so you head out for a late night visit to the dance studio.
โณ fatal trouble series [heewon] || ๐ฅ, ๐, ๐, ๐ฌ
bf!heeseung x afab!reader x bf!jungwon
after a heist gone wrong, you find yourself in the last place you want to be - right in the middle of enemy territory. your punishment for getting caught: being forced to drink from a chalice of your choosing, knowing that at least 1 of the 3 in front of you contains a deadly poison. whatโs worse? both your partners in life - and in crime - are right there with you, willing to drink from whichever cups you donโt.
you accidentally sent your best friend a suggestive meme but things took a different turn that you expected - also, you're both down bad for the other.
โณ day 1: guided masturbation, name kink
โณ day 13: consensual somno, breathplay
โณ day 21: omegaverse, knotting
โณ day 25: corruption, deep-throating
โณ day 31: fuck or die, slight dubcon
