i must be skinny

32 years old. was recovered for 6 years. Realpsed in 2021 SW: 155 CW: 110. I want to feel that 100 lbs. The power of feeling those bones. THe power fitting in small clothes. The power to be beautiful. I was disgusting when i was fat. I was obese according to my doctors. I do not share my own eating habits. Never been into doing that. 

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

Found a diet!

I am thirty fucking two years old. Why am i treating my anorexia like i ana teenager. I’m done acting like I’m eating. I’m tried of eating to make people comfortable. fuck it. its just me, my step daughter and her dad. Imma do me and lose this fucking weight. 

going through google to find ana diets. After everything i read here is what i am going to do next few days.

The only food i am going to consume is hard boiled eggs, fruits instead of banana, oatmeal, and veggies. Tea and water. no eating after 9. I am not going to stop this small diet until i hit 105!!! by then my appetite will be controlled and my urge for junk food will stop. AND my stomach issues i always have will be gone. 

no chips, no pastries, no sodas, no bad foods of any kind. 

112 CW

and some workout routines through the day. 

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

DONE WITH CHEWING

fuck food, fuck restricting. done bingeing. done with chewing everything that is given to me. fuck everything. i will do whatever to be skinny!!! i will do anything to take full control of my eating. take it all off.

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

I am a fat stupid piece of shit. 3 DAYS 3 FUCKING DAYS i ate. Ad gained 4 pounds. Why is it easier to gain then lose? 

Fuck this!!!! What should i do? Fuck junk food they can be flushed down the drain. And again eat as little as i can. fuck food. fuck eating. fuck 114. I almost cried when i weighed myself, I’m done! 

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

coffee to tea

I have been drinking coffee since i was a teenager. Coffee hasn't been treating me right lately. I start feeling sick and my stomach isnt happen and i get bloat and feel gross. I cant believe i have to say this, but i switched to tea. My stomach is definitely getting sensitive. I hate wasting i do and i was wasting coffee. 

I got green tea with lemon and green tea with grapefruit and Jasmine. Got 0 calorie sugars. Shit this could be the best switch towards my weight lose. 

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

ugh when you dont lose that lb

my dumb ass ate yesterday. more then allowed

2 big spoon servings of hamburger helper

a thin chicken leg

and at night close to bed made a tuna quesadilla. I didnt finish it. 

Thats why i didnt lose that lb. the tuna quesadilla was a stupid idea, I wanted to eat a little more to keep my metabolism high and not get on a plateau. It is very common. It wasnt going to be over 1000 though. But no!

Im no longer eating so close to sleep for me. No eating after 10pm. 

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

This movie is a twisted way of eating disorders. Great movie. 

its about these twins Olivia and Matt.  Matt dies in a car crash with her sister in the car. Olivia starts to see her brother everywhere. As time goes on Olivia keeps seeing her brother. She begins to starve herself because her brother asks for food... it goes on with a dark view of anorexia and how loss can effect people in different ways. 

[gothboiskinnyclique]

my fav thing is being excited to go to sleep so i can see how much weight i lost the next morning

[sicksadstar]

you can have an ed at any size, gender, age. skinny, normal, fat. male, female, nonbinary. 8, 16, 19, 40. it doesnt matter. anybody can a have a ed

[depressedtofu]

I’m not pro I just want to know something

Does anyone else gets cold and it’s because you don’t have any calories to burn to keep yourself warm, and instead of just eating feels a little bit proud?

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

exercise

I want to workout, but i am not getting the motivation to do it. When i was working in a warehouse i burnt tons of calories, but since i’m unemployment i am definitely sitting on my ass a bit more. I do walk to do errands when needed, but that’s it. 

Should go back to my long walks? I have 10 lb weights. Should i just do a few reps of my weights a day? Or should i start doing yoga and cardio at home? I downloaded an app that has workouts for all. You would think dropping this weight is enough motivation.i did a few reps with my weights last night. 

I will figure out what works best because i really need to tone up. I’m 32 so laws of physics is not working for me in the boob area lol. I went from DD to an A. 

No walks unless i gotta. I can do my own stretches in the morning and my weight reps. And two days a week i do yoga. That might work. Wish me luck!!! 

[refridiet]

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

truth

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

skinny photos of me the last few months. I was maintaining, but this month i gain an extra five. I am not having it. 118 to 110 in a week. 

updated photos of me right now will be posted soon. 

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

hunger pains

I got the hunger pain today. dizzy, anxious, and my stomach sucked in. What sucks though it all started when i was sitting with my roommate so, of course he noticed. i didn't tell him all this was because i haven't eaten enough in days. And how i lost 7 lbs in we week. He helped. Then he heated me up food. I ate some of it to make him not worry. Luckily i took a laxative last night. 

I have always been private with my anorexia. I don’t like talking about it. I don’t tell people for attention. I’m not those females that “ ugh i haven’t all day.”I’ve been so depressed i haven’t eaten in days.” then people get worried and they are fed. That shit pisses me off. 

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

im back

CW: 110

GW this week 105. 

Gained a few pounds but i lost them within days. 

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

what the fuck is wrong with me

i ate again last night. food after food after food. I feel huge. Too scared to weigh myself. I NEED TO STOP!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

gross 114!!! Stop the junk food. Stop the midnight eating

JUST STOP EATING!!!!!!!!!

[fatrosetoskinnyrose]

Im so stupid!!

Im back. I did try to get back on track with food. People around me were getting worried. So, naturally like any individual I ate normal for a weeks. I weighted myself and I am 114

Last time i weighed myself last week i was 109. I was able to maintain from 109 and 111. I cant do this no more. I finally fit in XS. My bones were showing. I need it back. I gain 5 lbs. My roommate telling me my ass is coming back. That doesnt make me happy. Back on track!!! 

Starting with an easy week goal. Wednesday next week i will be 109. I want to be 100 by Xmas. Fingers crossed.