what it do

mary, 26 all about me

[ptarmic]

my first words were silhouette and gauche.

[wetdirtguy]

Me spending time with people: joy abounds, we are all connected and there is hope!

Me 1 day later: I need to be left alone to gather the pieces of Me together

Me 2 days later: there is something very rotten at my core and I will almost certainly die unloved

[crabussy]

they have to release me back into the wild but they can't because I imprinted on a mop

[2007xbox360-deactivated20211113]

Unassuming woman: Nice, dude. That hot dog is ketchup-pilled AND mustard-pilled

Strange man whose son died in an accident he could have prevented: I guess

[nonlynear]

she drives me nornal

[lokaror]

Terracotta Girlfriend: *moves half an inch in the dead of night*

[eveninginparis]

we were put on this earth to eat sandwiches

[papasmoke]

my newborn son has an ifunny birthmark

[nociceptrix]

sucking on a worthless original

[kosmogrl]

I need my whole life to change and I also need to go grocery shopping

[moldavite]

when i lived in england i literally thought i was asexual bc i was so grossed out by everyone

this is so fucking funny. real as hell

[datadegroove-deactivated2026042]

*at the sex shop* do you have a discount for worthless people

[modernbaseball]

2 am: bedtime were meant to be broken 😈

7 am: I hope i get in a car accident

[187onabuster-deactivated2025013]

I need a lady in a shirt Fuck im down bad

[namethatghostling]

stop drinking beer with the deer and come have a cider with the spiderrrr

[fluffysheeple]

christian bad driver: my guardian angel watches over me, I don't need to look before I merge

atheist bad driver: I will rely on my own skill to see myself safely home after a mere 8 drinks

agnostic bad driver: no one knows where all these dents and scratches came from

[loveridden1999]

if i was a soccer player i'd simply kick that ball in the goal instead of wasting everyone's time