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Aqua Utopia|海の底で記憶を紡ぐ
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if i look back, i am lost
YOU ARE THE REASON
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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Origami Around
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@fawk-c-ivy
good nosh
You ever read a book that you loved so much and devoured in a day or two (Woodworking by Emily St. James is the book of which I speak) that you looked at the next book in your stack with disdain, like
"this next one simply cannot be as good"
And you don't even want to start reading it?
Like I just spent 350 pages vibing with some strange tgirls, feeling that weird sense of paper community that books only give you once in a while, and then I have to go on and read... some thick fantasy tome?
I used to be all over the tomes. Not so much now it seems.
Writing Excerpt
Enigim pulled at the gray sheet, holding his father up as his mother and sister pulled away the platform from below. Sliding away, it revealed the rich brown dirt, lined with roots, where his father would decay. His uncle began to lower the sheet. Enigim followed suit, and the body jostled slightly as it sank into the Aiphirium. When it touched that bed of roots and crawling things, Enigim realized that this would be the last time he'd see his father's face. Suddenly, he noticed a feeling that hadn't been present before, or maybe was there but had gone unnoticed. It was a cold and empty feeling. Time stretched out in front of him, and he foresaw all of the things he might one day do. With every milestone and achievement, in the place of the person who was always there, an empty space opened up. The feeling became colder. The empty space grew, threatening to swallow him up. His chin trembling, Enigim's eyes loosed their tears while he felt at the edges of oblivion.
But then the moment passed. His uncle had thrown down the other side of the sheet, and his father was covered up. Enigim wiped his eyes and looked over at his mother and sister, who were holding each other and weeping freely. Cardemmom's eyes met his, and she pulled away with a sniff and a pat on the shoulder. Someone behind Enigim handed him a shears, and with Cardemmom holding it, he cut away a small square of the sheet. He put it in his pocket.
The rain had changed into billowing curtains of fine mist when the siblings threw down the sheet, and it was over by the time they left the burial ground, though the clouds did not surrender much sunlight until the next day.
_______________________
It kind of feels weird sharing writing because, like, what if it gets stolen. But this is a silly thing to think. This is only a part of my idea - it relies on the other parts to be novel. Anyways how can I get feedback if no one sees what I've written?
So, does it read smoothly?
Rachel Weisz drawn from a shot from Constantine (2005)
I think it's okay
Started a first chapter
I wrote what could actually be a whole chapter. It was only 400 words or so, but I knocked it right out.
Like I expected, when I start by thinking logically about what has to happen, I don't need to create stuff spontaneously. It also felt good to make characters banter. I don't need to come up with something out of nowhere. There's a natural response to each step, and I just have to find what it is.
It's neat.
YOU hates terfs
rb if u hates terfs
Official ‘terfs get out of my house’ Post
Writing update 1
For a while I've just been writing little snippets from various points of the story to try and get things down. I knew that writing didn't have to be linear, but I think I went too far in the non linear direction. I realized that in order to write anything, I would need to fully come up with something every time. However, if I have a linear chunk that starts from the start, then I always have something to build off of.
Have I begun writing that linear chunk? No.
But I did write the beginning of a plot summary so that I could work with some idea of where I was headed. I think the next couple of writing sessions will be focused on expanding that plot summary, maybe to the first two acts.
I also continue to ruminate on character ideas for my protagonist. Progress is being made in this department.
Word count: Idk probably into the four digit zone but that's all from the spaghetti-at-the-wall phase. I think the next task that I'll do (and call it writing) is transferring things into an actual writing program so that it will count words.
I want a little "I wrote something today" badge.
In lieu of this I will be satisfied with everyone congratulating me and telling me how cool and hot I am.
I'm writing a story
I'm still in the early stages but I've scribbled out a couple of things already.
Yesterday I was thinking about how the way I perceive writing is different from how a career writer does. I feel like they have a zoomed-out view of stories: they're familiar with many of the paths a character can take, they know how to pull the levers of tension and release, they can feel the structure of a story before it's written. Meanwhile I feel like I'm stumbling around in the dark.
It's not like I've never done anything like this before, though. I've been planning DnD for a few years now, and playing it for more. I know how to come up with characters and a world. But the point of planning DnD is that you don't write the story. That's what the playing part is for. I feel like I need to write the world and characters, then hope that the characters get themselves into a story.
We'll see what happens. I'll provide updates.
I was on a call with my sister during this drawing
Getting back to my roots with watercolor
The Joker vs. group hate
A group of people woke up, hands tied and heads ringing, with a spotlight on them in the middle of a darkened warehouse. Three men were white, wearing red armbands. The others were a Black man, a Native American man, and a white woman. As they all swam up into hazy consciousness, a meandering voice echoed out of the darkness.
"Now I'm somewhat familiar with the mob, but I hear there's a new gang in town. A new gang that says they have pure blood." Here, the edge of the spotlight draped over a figure with a pale white face and a purple suit. A short blade, spotted with some dark substance, glinted in his hand. "Well I can tell you this from close-up experience, everybody's blood looks just the same."
The Joker held the knife up to one of the white supremacists' arms. Just before reaching the skin, he swiped it downwards to cut off the ropes binding him. Seeing an opportunity, the man jabbed at the Joker's face, making contact with his nose, and scrambled to his feet. Joker only laughed, sending explosive peals of mania after the man fleeing into the darkness. Turning into the darkness after him, Joker pulled an automatic handgun from his coat. The group could only hear what happened next as the man's cries for help were stopped short by gunfire.
Footsteps. The clatter of a magazine on the ground. The mechanical smack of its replacement. The wandering voice issued forth again: "it looks like he didn't want to participate in the fun. I'll just let the rest of you know that if there's any more Debbie Downers here, ah, the roof is rigged to blow. So if I were you I'd play by the rules." The remaining members of the group looked at each other, trying to read the wide eyed expressions that they knew matched their own. The Joker continued to speak.
"Now, my idea is part game, part experiment. I wanted to settle this 'white supremacy' thing once and for all. I wanted to see how the peak of human condition," he said, poking one of the white men in his protruding stomach, "would perform against the unwashed masses here." The Black man, Native man, and woman were too afraid to take this as an insult.
"So here's the goal. If both teams still have living members in ten minutes, then everyone goes to kingdom come. The last team left standing, wins!" The Joker made a signal with his hands and the lights came up. Once they were done squinting, the group saw a small pile of weapons including baseball bats, two ends of a shattered pool cue, and an assortment of knives all lying at the other end of the empty warehouse.
As the Joker cut them from their ropes, one of the white supremacists spoke up. "This isn't fair! We're down by one!" He gestured with his head at the now visible corpse. Joker brandished the handgun towards the non-supremacists.
"That's true, that's true. I'll give you a head start. Go!" The others stood frozen under gunpoint while the white supremacists took off, racing with limbs flailing towards the pile of weapons. Just as they began, the Joker lowered the gun and reversed his grip to hold it by the barrel.
"Now, I'd imagine that, deep down, they were hoping for an opportunity like this," he said to the woman and two men. "A chance to beat the victims of their hate bloody. But you know, I'm an agent of chaos. Sorting people into a neat order isn't my cup of tea." Joker reached out, offering the gun to the woman.
As she took the gun by the handle, she looked first at the joker, then at the white men picking up baseball bats.
"Happy hunting, folks," the Joker said.
The buzz cut is a nonbinary hairstyle
I (my girlfriend) hit the dome with a 4 guard this weekend. Today, one by one, a small group of students walked in and then immediately out of my room because they didn't want to seem like they were gawking. One kid did it twice.
Funny enough I feel even more queer with the buzz and painted nails than I did with long hair. Even the mustache I'm growing has not succeeded in mascifying me in my own eyes.
I should pierce my ears.
First Entry
I talked a lot about journaling with my therapist last session.
I don't know if this is common, but I write with the expectation that someone else will eventually read my journal. They told me that I should try writing autofiction, which I presume is a way to make my life into a shareable format. I agree that, as it stands, nothing about my journal would captivate a reader. That is, unless you're my grandchild far in the future or you are particularly nosy.
But whether it's autofiction or not I'm tired of creating writing (the thing that, at this point, I have by far the most practice creating) and having no one read it. So I'm going to try to write here.
It's still likely that no one will read it. But at least they'll have the opportunity. And I can tell my therapist that I tried something new.