The 'Aziraphale Still Believes in Heaven' Take
Is one that I see so often. Too often.
The way many fans (still) say Aziraphale is so naïve, he's never learned anything, he never changes, Metatron just offered him a promotion and he happily jumped on it. Happy to go back to Heaven. Still in their clutches.
Leaving Crowley behind. Cos nothing lasts forever. Amirite? Poor long-suffering Crowley. So patient. Goes through so much. Aww.
Takes that say that because Crowley never told Aziraphale about the venom in Gabriel's "Shut your stupid mouth and die already", Aziraphale has no idea that Heaven is not the good guys, that he still believes they are on the side of truth and light.
Takes that claim Aziraphale wants Crowley to come to Heaven and be an angel again so they can be happy like in the good old times.
Takes that basically say that Aziraphale is stupid. And blind.
LISTEN
Do you mean this Aziraphale:
Who knew before Crowley did that something is rotten in the state of Denmark, that things are wrong and one can get in a lot of trouble for a thing as minor as a suggestion to improve things.
Is this the Aziraphale that would seriously suggest to Crowley, who he was immediately deeply anxious over, to go back to 'good old times'? What good old times?
How is Heaven a place of light when:
A bunch of angels comes down to Earth to bully and PUNCH ONE OF THEIR OWN?
Why would he think they are the light when they shame him for being who he is?
Yes, I HC is that ultimately, Aziraphale still believes in God, in Her inherent goodness, even if Her tasks were often odd... and not lining up with what he thought was right. He thinks (remember my own HC) something somewhere went wrong with the what She wanted and the how it was understood and executed.
And yes, Aziraphale wants to do good. But that's not tied to him being an angel. And it's not a bad thing ffs! Crowley does good as well. Aziraphale might be the only one who knows, but he knows.
Maybe getting humans out of the Garden to seek knowledge was always a (certainty) possibility, and maybe not, but it was Aziraphale's decision to arm them.
And She didn't make him Fall for it.
And do you remember when:
Aziraphale first openly questioned that Heaven was actually doing what God actually wanted? He had a think after the Flood, didn't he.
He did what he thought was right. He trusted Crowley over his fellow angels, with his own sense of rightness.
He and Crowley saved the kids that Aziraphale triple checked the Archangels saw no problem in letting die to make things easier.
And She didn't make him Fall for it.
In Edinburgh:
Az re-evaluated the thinking he was taught and did a full 180 degree turn, trying in few hours to save the grave-robbing girl AND the possible future lives of children that could be helped via more learning.
And when we come to Metatron and his threats, we don't see the full conversation, but don't we see enough?
Aziraphale says that he's not interested.
Metatron keeps nagging at him. Pushing the symbolic coffee from Coffee or Death at him. Flattering him with obvious untruths.
After all, Aziraphale knows what Heaven thinks of him. He tried to reason with Metatron before.
Metatron tells him they know how deep his disobedience lies:
Aziraphale is not a fool.
He knows this is an offer of come quietly or we will find a way to destroy you and your demon this time.
Aziraphale didn't have to hear Metatron's quip of: "For one prince of Heaven to be cast into the outer darkness makes a good story. For it to happen twice, makes it look like there is some kind of institutional problem."
He knows the system is rotten. He knows for a LONG time.
Did you see his face when he met Muriel and realised what a lonely sad existence they lead.
AND
Crowley doesn't love Aziraphale despite the fact that he's being used to get out of trouble, being made to listen about random things the angel enjoys from symphonies to food and plays, and who continues to believe in goodness and kindness.
CROWLEY LOVES AZIRAPAHLE BECAUSE OF THOSE THINGS
AND because he sees Aziraphale for what he is, an angel who thinks for himself, changes his mind, learns, angel who is brave, who stands for the right thing, who sacrifices his own happiness for the safety of others, especially the demon he loves.
They are the same. They are lonely. They are one of a kind. And they love each other.
Aziraphale wants to stay at home.
In the home he built for himself and Crowley.
On Earth where he's found so much to love.
But he knows it is impossible.
As Crowley confesses his love, Aziraphale struggles to stay on his plan to push him away, to make him stay. He'll miss Crowley terribly. He wants them to be together. For him, they were an 'us' the whole S2. However tenuously. Fragile existence and all that.
But even this was ripped away from him.
And whatever he's planning, he knows he needs to do the first steps on his own. He can't submit Crowley to the torture that being in Heaven is going to be for him, an unwanted, despised angel.
And that would be even worse for an unwanted demon.
He had to push him away.
So he leaves.
Furious.
And determined.
Whether it is to burn the place down or find God and ask Her all the questions to Her face I don't know.
But his love will push him through.
And if I see one more simplistic take of the snarky demon is really good isn't he, so that means the stuffy angel is bad (and needs to change to be worthy of the demon) I will curse their dreams with lines about shades of grey.
AZIRAPHALE AND CROWLEY ALREADY LOVE EACH OTHER
