On April 4, 2015, I strapped on a pair of roller skates for the first time. A coworker, who was going through crisis intervention training with me at work, said my hip check was worthy of roller derby and invited me to watch a game and participate in a ‘new skate’ open practice. I had never worn roller skates before. I promptly fell flat on my fucking face. I then fell on my skate, ramming the wheel into my crotch. Then I fell on my ass and bruised my tailbone. Despite my complete failure, I kept trying. I was invited to start attending ‘Fresh Meat’ practices. I started volunteering at games. I fell head-over-heals in love with the sport. Almost 20 months of bruises and muscle pains later, and I am ready. My team’s current season is ending, and by next March I will officially be on the team. This year, for photos, I was one of them. My team doesn’t see me as the bambi-legged newbie that could barely stand. They have watched me come to every practice. They have seen me work and work and work and work and WORK at the moves I couldn’t do, until I did them. They have laughed while I obsessively watched their feet, trying to figure out exactly what movements they were making so that I can try and replicate it. I am one of them. They use my derby name when I’m on skates. They hit me - hard - when we scrimmage. And this year, they gave me a jersey and took my picture as a member of the team. I have never had to work so hard at something. Skating did not come naturally to me, and there were so many moments where I just wanted to quit. But my teammates kept me going. All that hard work has finally begun to pay off. To everyone else, this may be just some picture of a chick in roller skates. To me, this is the culmination of almost 2 years of blood, sweat, and tears. This picture is my acceptance. This picture is my debut. I am Vixen, and I am ready to kick some fucking ass.
