(for @what--the-helliot !!!)
Chris: âly time I think I could ever recall the director, Ed Bye, saying, âAction!â [pause] âCut!â Between those two words it went on a long time. But you know, Craig, it was like a train ride from Torquay to London â itâs never quite as long as you think itâs going to be.
Craig: I felt something nudging my leg while I was kissing you.
Chris: Thatâs what Iâm saying, youâve got it or you havenât, baby.
Chris: Iâve never seen so many people in the studio. They came from everywhere â
Craig: This might be weird, but I quite enjoyed that scene. I did! Weâre actors, you know what I mean â Iâd never done anything like that before. You know, I really enjoyed the scene.
Chris: We both had about 30 polo mints each.
Craig: He had 30 polo mints, I had 20 marlboro!
Interviewer: I was wondering, because there was quite a hard cut when you guys get into it, but how much more�
Craig: Oh, the kiss was a lot longer than they show, wasnât it? We actually went at it hammer and tongs. We did! And they cut it really short, but it was a lot â it was a lot longer! And I felt a bit disappointed by that because it was quite a lengthy kiss.
Chris: They told us it was going to be used, and they didnât use all of it, you know? That was disappointing. [He pauses] We, you know â look, we gave them the material.
Interviewer: How was the experience? Was it disappointing as well, or was it better than you expected?
Chris: I wanted it to go on longer.
Craig: I wish I could have.
Chris: Peaking a bit early, werenât you?
Craig: As ever the comes of disappointment.
Interviewer: Is that what brought you back on the show?
Chris: I walked out of the studio and thought, âWhere am I ever going to get kissed like that again? Thereâs only one man who can do it! More kissing scenes for Monsieur Rimmer.â [sarcastically] âYeah, Iâll work on it for you, Chris.â
Craig: Thereâs probably a parallel universe where Rimmer and Lister are married.
Craig: Thereâs a universe where me and you are marred like⌠two old guys sat on a spaceship. And Iâm not putting the dishes away, or Iâm stacking the dishwasher wrong.
Chris: Dishwashers are overrated.
Interviewer: I was just wondering what role Kryten plays in your marriage?
Craig: Well, Krytenâs like my mum, isnât he?
Interviewer: So would he be like a mother-in-law to Rimmer in this parallel universe?
Craig: Yeah, he would be like Rimmerâs mother-in-law⌠Well, letâs face it, Kryten doesnât like Rimmer anyway.
Chris: I donât like Kryten â well, Rimmer doesnât like Kryten!
Craig: You think heâs jumped up, donât you?
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