god Iām absolutely going to hell Iām sorry guysĀ
I was at my friendās engagement party yesterday and everyone was about to do cheers with these nasty ass shots of blue tequila but I donāt drink and I especially do not drink tequila, blue or otherwise, so I grabbed a piece of bread from the basket on the table and just tapped it against peopleās glasses like it was a legitimate beverage instead of a wheat byproductĀ
and one of my friends was likeĀ āho what in godās name are you doingāĀ
and I didnāt know how to say I would rather slice of my own foot than drink tequila so I just held my bread up and said āIām toastingāĀ
and in that moment I felt my soul descend directly into the eighteenth circle of hell
As a dad i approve of this












