@mezzalunanova - Tumblr Blog

mysharona1987

that is fucking hilarious, the first time someone asks "is it okay if I inherited land as a child and now I want to charge the previous occupants rent?" and you actually think you know what, sure.

nateconnolly

If the hand doesn't feed, then you might as well bite

willgrahamscock

Hey are you offended by the word bitch? I'm going to send you a hate anon, but I saw that you go by she/her and I respect women

don't let anything stop u from being a hater king

willgrahamscock

take your time

gayvampyr

bauliya

i think all quiet on the western front and the lord of the rings are in direct conversation with each other, as in theyre the retelling of the same war with one saying here’s what happened, we all died, and it did not matter at all and another going hush little boy, of course we won, of course your friends came back

bauliya

someone should remake lord of the rings as a grandfather telling a fantasy story to his grand child with flashbacks to world war one showing the dead boys and men the characters were based on. grandpa why didn’t they just fly. because they didn’t. they didn’t.

bauliya

i’m fine

moonlightredfern

I will never get over how Tolkien & Lewis took the horrors of war and spun them into fantasy.

Shivering in the trenches dreaming of cozy hobbit holes, shaking as bombs pockmark a forest and imagining each shallow mud-filled crater contains a new world—that maybe there are still as many beautiful things in the universe as there are bombs—that maybe the world is bigger than this moment and this ugliness and one day this will be a peaceful forest again full of small ponds.

I mean look at these photos of the shell craters in Sanctuary Woods, near Ypres Belgium and tell me it’s not the Wood Between The Worlds:

alkatyn

grandpa why didn’t they just fly. because they didn’t. they didn’t.

You get your wings only after its all over

When someone asks how my day is going

#Eraserhead

fulminata2

When you pick up a sword for the first time you will be slow and awkward. This is frustrating, but refuse the temptation to try and become a “faster” fencer. Chasing after speed is like trying to catch smoke. If you try and pursue speed, all you will accomplish is haste. Haste is the enemy of 1st class fencing.

Speed is a lie the untrained mind tells itself when it sees an action it cannot follow. The truth is a combination of timing, control, and fluidity. Fluid motion, even done slowly, will always arrive before a hasty strike. Control will allow you to move without wasteful motion that will slow you down. Timing will eliminate the need to move fast almost entirely. There is no need to get somewhere fast so long as you get there at the right time.

auckie

Tip for mymutuals who engage in bladed armed combat

plasmalogical

signal boost

inkskinned

in hindsight, the american public school idea of gym class was both absolutely buckwild and also incredibly ableist. i have a degree in education, and the more time i spend away from being a student, the less the concepts espoused there make any sense to me.

i was dancing ballet somewhere between 3-5 days a week, but i have never been a good runner. i have asthma and, at the time, i had horrible shin splints. yet running was seen as the only indicator of my health. my teacher fucking hated me for my lack of sprinter's interest here, like i was doing it to spite him. he thought that asthma was something "only for kids", like i was faking a wracking cough just so i could be "lazy" and "get away with it".

we weren't trained how to run safely. we often ran with bad form in sneakers that didn't quite fit. we were required to be able to ace this test once a year, immediately, with no follow-up or practicing. the rest of the year, gym class was a waste of time and energy. even kids who liked gym liked it because it was useless in entirety.

maybe he hated me because i was one of those students who shouldn't have struggled. i was pretty fit. during the sit-up test, i outpaced the other kids. corework is incredibly important to dancers, so i found the sit-up test easy. my teacher didn't take down my first result. he said, i've seen how you run, no way your number is that high. i explained i dance, he snorted and said you hardly have the body of an athlete and made me do the test again to be sure i wasn't "cheating". when i still passed, he said so you don't bother running just because you're a little rebel, huh? i bet you just like making men angry.

we had these sweat-covered wooden boxes to test our hamstring flexibility. you'd sit down, put your feet against a board, and push a slider away from your body. we had 3 turns to pass the test. on the first turn, my teacher watched as i gently pushed the slider to the end of the row instead of shoving myself forcefully over my toes. he said don't be rude, take the test seriously. i said - "okay, but i clearly can pass the test, i don't want to force my muscles. sudden movements aren't good form." he said i was going to get a detention at this rate. that he knew it was going to be a fight with you, it always is. you like the attention because you don't get it at home, huh?

i was 14, and i was annoyed and embarrassed, and i didn't handle it well. so i did as requested. i made my hands into a little diamond and shoved, just the way he wanted. the slider snapped off due to the amount of sudden force. i hit the end of the row so hard the test just fucking broke. i was sitting there, shocked by what was a legitimate accident: and this dude goes white and then red in the face. this is one of the only times in my life i got sent to the principal. he said she is vindictive and broke school property. malicious. noncompliant. for gym that year, i skirted by with an ugly "barely passing" D+.

and i was lucky. for once in my life, my parents were extremely chill about the whole thing. they saw the grade and just laughed about it. they were paying for me to go to dance class 4 hours a day, they knew exactly how fit i was. the principal tried to explain it to them, annoyed with their dismissal: i clearly wasn't healthy. he made sure they knew i wasn't an athlete, because dance is not a sport. i had to run the mile three times that year, to "make up" for my lack of effort. i walked it slow on purpose.

and i just... don't get it. in no other class would the lack of accommodations or training be appropriate. yes, you should know certain things leaving a class, but nobody expects you to be able to recite the whole biology textbook by the third month. nobody particularly expects you to pass a test if the teacher has literally never taught it. imagine if in english, you had a random test on vocabulary, and when you said these are just random words you never taught us. it isn't a good indicator of my reading level, writing, or of my reading comprehension - you were told: well it's most of your grade, but it's not that fucking hard, is it?

it is not a class about how to cook or how to help yourself balance your diet or how to run or how to get good at stretching or how to stay agile or how to do cool gymnastics or how to listen to your body or how to watch for injury or how to treat chronic pain or how to safely use weights. it was an hour of my life where i would be bullied with the teacher's permission. i look back at this thing and i just... i don't get it. while art teachers and english teachers are struggling for any funding - gym is just. protected under the idea it is somehow helping america... stay "fit". they make us run a mile and then say "great, we've measured your health" ... and then that's just... it.

as i was teaching the other day, i mentioned the fitnessgram pacer test to my kids. they're 19, are in college. many of them haven't been in gym class for a few years. i wish you could have been there to see their reaction. it was like i reminded them of their worst nightmare. we had to derail the conversation just so each person could go around the room and say their horror story about it. and each person had a horror story.

these days, i'm doing well. i love how strong i am, when i can be strong and my heart don't act up. i still dance at least 3 times a week. i have a performance on saturday, actually. but before you ask - no, i never learned to run. i don't really want to either, because it's just not good for my particular body.

so i guess, according to them - that makes me unhealthy.

massivetittiesandwarcrimes

I'm sorry but - [ he said so you don't bother running just because you're a little rebel, huh? i bet you just like making men angry. ]

Can we... Unpack that for a moment? Because what the actual hell?? That is incredibly inappropriate and fucking creepy for someone to say to anyone, let alone a child... Like, not to toss around unfounded accusations, but I'd bet money that that teacher was also abusive to women and children outside of school...

biggaybunny

Gym teachers are so regularly completely unqualified, and the position seems to be a magnet for some of the scummiest men on the earth. Even with a 'good' teacher, OP is right that the entire concept is useless at best and more often harmful, but it's definitely exacerbated by how common stories like OP's are.

the-dwarven-viking

Let me tell y'all a story.

My school did the fitness grand pacer test every other week. I'm not making that up. The entire year, every time gym class landed on a Friday, you'd do it. Which roughly went to every other week. If there was a holiday, and you had it the week before on Friday, didn't matter. You were doing it again for another week in a row.

So! I'm a disabled dude. I have muscle affecting lupus, full body arthritis, and athletically induced asthma. I literally cannot run. I can't do intensive exercise. It causes me to choke, and my entire body to give out. Even without exercise, my legs cramp up when I'm sitting and doing nothing. I also have poor blood circulation in my body.

The gym teachers REQUIRED me to take the fitness grand pacer test every time before I was diagnosed with these issues. And they got mad that I was limping as I ran, that I couldn't get above 24 laps halfway across the gym before the beep. That I wasn't fast enough.

On top of this, we had to, as students, run a mile every single day. Run. Not walk. In 7 minutes or less.

And I was failed every morning for not being able to do this.

You know what I could do, though? I could knock down punching bags with one kick. One punch. I could grapple, spar, do rounds on a heavybag, and was EXCELLENT at mixed martial arts. I am strong as fuck. I can do 60+ pushups without stopping. I can do tons of squats, and hold a horse stance for multiple minutes. My balance is impeccable. I am fit as hell.

But I cannot run.

And for years, I thought I was useless. I thought I was a failure, that I could never function because of this. Because my gym teachers, all 4 at one time every year, said I was, just for being unable to run. I thought I wasn't fit.

But I'd go to MMA classes weekly, and kick ass, literally, proving myself wrong. I started doing exercise challenges on my own terms, at my own pace, for biking and walking. I started doing workouts.

I am disabled. No amount of exercise is going to fix that. There is no "fixing" disability. But I am fit nonetheless. My muscle mass is insane for my size. It's ok that I can't run. I take pride in my disabilities and in my strengths. That's ok. I am allowed to be fit without being able to run.

Gym teachers don't regard disabilities. They don't care, or at least most don't here in America. The teach you that running is the pinnacle of fitness, but it isn't. There are countless other measures of it. Don't let them make you think running is the only defining trait to indicate you're fit. That you're enough of a capable human being. You are worth more than what you can physically do.

vikings-til-valhalla

I know this isn't overly relevant for my blog here, but if y'all could spread this around to show others my lesson, I'd appreciate it. :)

aconstantstateofbladerunner

space-snake

I’ve never seen a picture of junji ito in my life but I can only assume this is him because that sentence instantly gave me flashbacks

tenebris-aurea

had the opportunity to do something really funny over on instagram when i had a planned sleep study

tenebris-aurea

i am lying to all of them :3

animentality

catgirlwheels

I'm an adult

You're a dumbass who the fuck says something like that

weaselle

a few months ago my friend called me and told me she was moving back up near me from 7 hours south in the middle of nowhere and asked if i would help her because she couldn’t move the furniture by herself and the town was so small there was no moving company (there were actually only 5 or six businesses in the whole town including both restaurants) and she had no one else down there to ask.

And even though money is pretty tight for her, she told me I could name my price if I would help her, because it was so far away.

I told her she was a dummy for thinking i would take her money but that i would accept the traditional helping-a-friend-move price: a meal (i know she would feel wrong about herself if she didn’t do something for me in return, that’s just how she is) Tradition suggests pizza and beer, we opted for enchiladas and a margarita.

we crashed on the floor of the empty place and left back north in the morning - when we got back to the city three more friends met us at her storage place (the place she was moving into wouldn’t be vacant for a couple months) and we started to move all her stuff up to a storage room on the THIRD FLOOR (because large city storage places be like that)

we had just taken the first box out of the truck when the (only) lady working there walked by and told us they closed in an hour and twenty minutes, and she couldn’t stay even a little late because she had to get to her other job.

One hour twenty minutes. To completely un-jenga a large uhaul and re-tetris it back into a similar sized room on the third floor.

We all just, shared a look, took off hoodies, and got the fuck down to business.

It was actually.. I still cherish look we passed around. The tiny eyebrow quirks and chin nods. The eye glints. The bigger breath we each took as we prepared to kick it up several gears. That moment of wordless connection, when we all just silently agreed that we were damn well going to do the impossible and didn’t even waste the time it would take to say anything, just got to it.

And we did it too. Finished with exactly two full minutes to spare. And then we all went for dinner and drinks to celebrate. And my friend’s friends that came to help? Two of them were acquaintances/friends of mine already. Like I lived with one for a year a decade ago sort of thing. But this experience? Brought us all closer. Made myself a new friend too.

And the friend i helped move? She and I are closer than ever because of it.

When i left our storage success diner to go home, she asked me again if I was sure i wouldn’t take any money.

I said “I ever tell you when I was 22 I went down to Hollywood to try that scene out? Anyway ten months later, when I just couldn’t do it anymore, and needed to come back, I called one of my best friends and said i can’t do this anymore i need to come back. You know what he said? He said: I’ll be there tomorrow. Not how much will you pay me, not what do i get out of it, not will you be able to cover my gas, just: I’ll be there tomorrow. Okay? You’re my friend. If you need help, I’m going to be there”

If helping someone move ruins your friendship, you’re doing at least one of those two things very wrong.

infizero

ngl this goes crazy

saturnsocoolioyep

lavendeerrose-deactivated202103

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

If this was some other terrible show, the joke would just be Gomez getting jealous but this is Addams Family and he’s thirsty af here too

Basically what I’m saying is every other sitcom with an m/f couple in the cast get on Addams Family’s level and try and reach the heights of amazingly extra sword bisexual Gomez Addams

fabulousfanficfangirl

AMAZINGLY EXTRA SWORD BISEXUAL!!!

I love it!!!

thefingerfuckingfemalefury

I feel it is a good way to describe him

classichorrorblog

Dracula (1931)

iggykoopa666

"some of you are miserable because you're mean" post except its "some of you are miserable because you only look at and talk about stuff you dislike"

iggykoopa666

"why don't i have any friends" because you only know how to bitch about stuff and be a hater

beggars-opera

To anyone who is having a bad day, I give you this hamster wearing a flower hat.

beggars-opera

This post is now ten years old and still circulating. It has outlived countless generations of hamsters and the entire Trump administration, and people still pass it around because this one photographer a decade ago decided to put a little goodness into the world, and it makes me so happy