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traditionally-linsi

Video Resources <3

Etiquette!

Learn your basic etiquette skills!

Learn your daily etiquette skills!

Learn how to fix your standing posture!

Learn how to fix your sitting posture!

Learn how to host a dinner party!

Learn how to be a savvy hostess!

Learn about the Vienna Ball Season!

Learn how to write a thank you card!

Learn how to write a letter of condolences!

Learn about dining etiquette!

Learn about afternoon tea etiquette!

Learn how to ace a job interview!

Learn how to give and receive gifts!

Grooming and Skincare!

Learn how to thread your eyebrows!

Learn how to thread thick eyebrows!

Learn how to tweeze your eyebrows!

Learn how to shape your eyebrows!

Learn how to tint your eyebrows!

Learn how to do your own eyelash extensions!

Learn how to apply Lashify!

Learn how to use Lashify!

Learn how to dermaplane your face!

Learn how to do a facial lymphatic massage!

Learn how to use a Gua Sha!

Learn how to begin a skincare routine!

Learn about The Ordinary Skincare!

Learn how to get rid of hyperpigmentation!

Learn how to do glass skin!

Learn how to do microneedling!

Makeup!

Learn how to apply false lashes!

Learn how to apply false lashes underneath!

Learn how to apply dewy makeup!

Learn how to apply glowy glam makeup!

Learn how to apply minimalist makeup!

Learn how to apply simple glam makeup!

Learn how to do a daily makeup look!

Learn how to apply cocoa brown makeup!

Learn how to apply business casual makeup!

Learn how to apply IG baddie makeup!

Learn how to highlight and contour!

Learn how to style blue eyeshadow!

Learn how to apply smoky winged liner!

Learn how to overline your lips!

Learn how to apply nose contour!

Learn how to apply eyeshadow!

Haircare + Styling!

Learn how to curl your hair!

Learn how to wash your sew-in!

Learn how to sew-in a closure!

Learn how to go without baby hair!

Learn how to go with baby hair!

Learn how to install a closure wig!

Learn how to relax your hair!

Learn how to install a frontal!

Learn how to blow your hair out!

Learn how to do a bouncy blow dry!

Learn eleven lovely natural styles!

Learn how to condition 4C hair!

Learn how to wrap your hair!

Learn how to do box braids!

Learn how to do medium sized box braids!

Learn how to do jumbo box braids!

Learn how to do knotless braids!

Learn how to do jumbo braids with beads!

Learn how to do passion twists!

Learn how to do short passion twists!

Learn how to do long passion twists!

Learn how to do Bantu knots!

Learn how to cornrow!

Learn how to use Olaplex!

Learn how to revive a wig!

Learn how to do my favourite hairstyle!

Learn how to cut curtain bangs!

Nail Styling!

Learn how to shape your nails!

Learn how to file your nails!

Learn how to strengthen your nails!

Learn how to paint your nails!

Learn how to give yourself a french manicure!

Learn how to choose a polish!

Learn how to apply press-on nails!

Learn how to apply acrylic nails!

Learn how to do easy acrylic nails!

Learn how to master acrylic nails!

Learn how to do gel nails + tips!

Learn how to use gel polish!

Learn how to do a gel manicure!

Learn to give yourself a pedicure!

Learn how to cut your toenails!

Learn how to shape your toenails!

Learn how to do acrylic toenails!

Learn how to do easy acrylic toenails!

Learn how to do a white gel pedicure!

Learn how to do a gel pedicure!

Learn how to remove gel polish!

Learn how to remove acrylic nails!

Linsi <3

csuitebitches

On Being Well Spoken

I recently received a request about posting something regarding being well spoken.

Something you need to realise is that you’re not going to become well-spoken overnight. You need to practice on people. You need to SPEAK.

I used to stutter so badly that I could barely speak a whole sentence.

Flash forward a few years. I pitched my start up in front of a crowd, I joined Model United Nations in high school and college, I’ve been invited to speak on my entrepreneurial experience by some top universities in my country. It’s taken a lot to get here. And I’m still not where I want to be.

1. Apps to track progress and help you get better at public speaking

An app that you can use: “Speeko.”

I used to use this, it is beginner friendly and you can improve your public speaking skills as well.

2. Use topic generators

Go online and look up a topic generator. Generate a random topic, video yourself speaking on that topic. Don’t give yourself time to prepare anything - read the topic and start speaking. Set a time limit - you’ll realise that speaking for even 2 minutes can be quite difficult at times.

Not only does this make you realise that you may have limited language skills, but it will also make you realise exactly where you’re falling behind. Note down things in a journal.

- is grammar the issue?

- Lack of vocabulary?

- Too many filler sounds?

- Knowledge gap?

This is also a great idea if you’re at an intermediate level of learning a language/ polishing a language. Do this everyday and maintain a diary on your improvement.

3. Reading out loud

Select a news article or any article. Read out loud, slowly and steadily. Pronounce every syllable calmly.

A two minute read should take 5 minutes to read out loud. That’s how slow you should go. Not more than 4-5 words per breath.

Your tongue needs to get used to different syllables and sounds. Practice will help.

4. Talk in real life

Talk to anyone and everyone whenever you can.

Ask your barista how their day is going.

Ask your work or university security if they’ve had a good day and if they ate today.

Chat with your taxi driver about their life. I always start with asking them if they are from the city we’re travelling in. Even if you’re from that city, act like a tourist. Where are the best eateries? The conversation eventually goes to personal questions. How many children do they have, and what do they do? What do they like about the city?

You’ll learn the art of small talk only through practice. No book or guide can actually prepare you. You have to practice, practice and practice.

5. Diaphragm breathing

Diaphragm breathing is very important. Look up some YouTube videos for reference. You essentially breathe from your tummy (stomach goes in and out; not chest going up and down). This is a great calming exercise too.

6. Stuttering tongue/ jaw exercise videos

These are great because they really do prep your jaw and tongue well. The videos could include tongue stretches, placing your tongue on your palette correctly, etc. Search on YouTube.

7. Body posture

You really need to work on your posture too. Sit up straight. Back, STRAIGHT. Chin up, shoulders relaxed. Something as simple as posture can change your level of confidence.

8. Pranayama

A yoga exercise for breathing. You can find a guided video on YouTube for sure.

9. Vocabulary

Invest your time in expanding your vocabulary. There’s enough apps and games that can help you with that, if you aren’t fond of reading. A sign of being well spoken is having great vocabulary.

Start by looking up the synonyms of everyday words.

“I’m upset”

- how many different words can you find for upset?

“I had a crazy day today”

- one can easily use “hectic”, “chaotic” “lively” instead

10. Idioms

Idioms, phrases, sayings - look up common idioms in your language of choice. Aim to use at least 3 new idioms on 3 separate occasions in a week while you speak. You need to understand when and where you can use the idioms in your vocabulary.

11. Knowing when to switch

You can’t talk like a 50 year old heiress to a 10 year old child; you need to get down to their level.

If someone is clearly not a native speaker and is struggling to put words together, don’t use difficult words around them.

If you’re meeting with someone high profile, refrain from using slang.

The best speakers know when to switch their level of language.

You can’t use one singular type of speaking with everyone. You need to understand that there is a time and place for everything - and you’ll be able to switch like a pro only when you actually speak and start gaining experience.

singlemumsugar

Money is coming to me

In all areas of my life.

Money is there in abundance. Every time I spend money, it reappears in my hands, my bank accounts, tenfold.

elletheroyal

Love & Intimacy (From a Man's Perspective)

One thing that's given me a huge advantage when it comes to dating is the fact that I'm always trying to understand men better. I've pulled aside nearly every single man I've grown close to at some point and asked "So, what do mean really want?". And what I've learned is that most men are pretty much the same when it comes to relationships. So with that, here's the tea on dating from a man's perspective!

Men are obsessed with sex.

At their very core, men are obsessed with sex. They think about it constantly. They think about it at the gym, on the subway, at work, at the bar- it's on their minds basically 24/7. And most men will do everything in their power to get sex, including manipulating you to no end just to get your clothes off. So when you meet that gorgeous banker at the club that seems super attentive and engaging, don’t be naïve to the fact that at the very forefront of his mind is likely the hope that you’ll give it up to him by the end of the night. Too many women assume that the initial attention they get from men is genuine when for the most part, it's based on their need for sex. While this reality may be a bit disappointing, it's also kind of amazing. Why? Because if sex controls men, knowing how to use sex to your advantage allows you to control of men. Which brings me to the next point:

Nothing beats delayed gratification.

And I mean absolutely nothing. I know this is a hot take but ultimately, every man I’ve talked to on the matter feels the same way. Withholding sex for as long as possible only facilitates a deeper connection. When you immediately have sex with a man, your physical intimacy level doesn’t line up with the emotional intimacy you’ve built up to that point which can cause issues. It can cause him to value you less (it's silly, but things that are harder to attain are always perceived as more valuable) and lose interest because without an emotional connection, he'll feel like he's gotten what he wanted out of you. So wait for intimacy and once you've waited for as long as you can stand it, wait another month or two. That extra time will allow you to build a deeper emotional connection, allow the pent up excitement to magnetize x1000, and allow the first time to actually mean something. Also, some food for thought: a 2012 study from Cornell University surveyed couples about their relationship happiness, habits, and other intimate questions. Researchers said that participants who waited at least six months to have sex with their partners were actually happier than those who didn't.

Men are insecure too.

If you think you're the only one in the relationship that doesn't like the way your body looks or doesn't feel good enough for your job, you're mistaken. Just because your man isn't as vocal about his insecurities doesn't mean he has any less than you! Men just don't vocalize these insecurities because those who own up to them often feel as though being vulnerable is akin to admitting inadequacy. So they suffer in silence. And so a compliment here and there goes SUCH a long way because frankly, they need it. I always make a point to tell my man when his outfit looks great or when he does a great job on a task and every single time I do the sense of relief and gratitude is palpable. So try to become really attuned to your partner's insecurities and make sure to use compliments to buffer against them!

He’s just not that into you.

Men are simple: if they want you, they'll do everything in their power to have you. Men have gone to war for women, lost their families for women, and even lost their lives for women. My own grandfather wrote letters every day to my grandmother for an entire year before she let him take her on a date. Trust me when I say that if a man isn't putting his all into a relationship, he's just not that into you. It's not his mommy issues, it's not his shitty job, it's not his depression, he's just not that into you. And as a woman, you have to be able to identify the fact immediately and walk away because it's simply not going to happen. Don't waste your time, just go find a man that is actually into you.

Most men watch porn.

And 99% of the men that do watch porn dedicate a horrifying amount of time watching porn. This is very important to know going into dating because porn creates an utterly false impression of what a normal body looks like and what sexual behavior is really about. It also creates a huge disconnect in a relationship because a relationship is meant to be a mutually satisfying expression of love but porn is about self-gratification and often involves dominating or mistreating the other person. So you have to understand how a man's relationship to porn can or will impact your relationship with him. If you're not comfortable with that impact, you have got to have an honest conversation about it. Personally, I don't feel comfortable with my man watching porn because most of it is downright abusive so I've had to have those uncomfortable conversations and while they're not fun, they're important. But moral of the story: yes, most men watch porn.

All men want to be heroes.

And more importantly, they want to be heroes in the eyes of their partners. They need to feel like the knight in shining armor, the protector, and the savior to be content in the relationship. The "Hero Instinct" coined by Bauer, in a nutshell, is the fundamental need that men have to feel irreplaceable. When you take that role from them, they resent you. So sit back and let them feel like heroes. Let them hold the door open for you, replace that lightbulb, wipe your tears when you're sad, rescue you from an uncomfortable situation, etc. Most importantly, compliment them liberally when they do step up. Doing so will allow them to feel secure and in control, and in return allow you to feel cherished and cared for.

No man can resist one thing.

If there's one thing that's irresistible to all men, it's motherly love and affection. A man's relationship with his mother is what allows him to develop vulnerability and intimacy in romantic relationships. So when you give a man that warm and loving energy, all guards will drop. He will become more attentive and caring, he will become more honest and respectful, and he will trust you more. Don't believe me? Next time you have some free time, gently grab your man by the arm, lead him to a comfortable sitting area, pull his head into your lap, and stroke his hair. Don't say anything, just allow him to lay and relax. I can guarantee you that he'll become putty in your arms and open up in ways he never has. So try to show your man that nurturing side of you whenever you can and watch the relationship transform significantly.

Lovingly,

Elle

elletheroyal

Lessons from my Hypergamous Mother 💕

I've talked about my mother several times on this blog but for those who are new, she's basically the O.G. Hypergamous woman. Despite not coming from money, being black and an immigrant, she's dated men worth millions, tens of millions, and close to billions of dollars. So with that, here are some of the lessons my mother has instilled upon me since I was born about dating and life.

Wear high quality clothes that fit well.

If there's one hill my mom will die on, it's that quality> quantity. To her, one wool Ralph Lauren blazer is worth 15 polyester blazers from Zara. And honestly, you can't really fight her on it because the majority of the time, clothes that are high quality just look better. Because of this, growing up 90% of my clothes came from high-end thrift stores and estate sales and truthfully, they still do.

Men come a dime a dozen.

My mother reminds me of this fact quite literally every time the male sex is mentioned in our household. She's had her pick of some of the most powerful men in the world simply because she doesn't care about any of them. Her psyche is this: there are millions of rich, smart, loving men out there, so why the hell would you stress out about finding one?

Education is key to success.

The same can't be said in all countries, but America is one of those nations where you can come in as an immigrant with nothing, and with the right education, become a member of the top 1%. Now the meaning of education isn't binary; you don't have to have a degree from Harvard or be a Rhodes Scholar. Being educated can simply mean you have a wide scope of knowledge on a variety of topics! To my mother, if you're highly educated, you can hold your own in any crowd.

Never give your entire heart away.

When my sister was a college freshman, she got her heart broken for the first time. While my mother was very quick to take her home and indulge her for a weekend, she was also very quick to tell her the crucial mistake she made. To quote her, "The problem isn't that you fell in love, the problem is that you gave him everything and when he left you had nothing. When you fall in love, always keep 10% of that love for yourself so that if things go south you won't be too devastated."

When you chase a man, he'll be inclined to run away.

So never, ever chase a man. Men are simple: if they want you they will do everything in their power to get you. There will never be any doubts. It's all very primal: nearly every species of male in the animal kingdom assume the role of "courting" their female counterparts. It's quite literally in their DNA. So there is never a need to go out and beg a man for his affections. In fact, doing so will almost always guarantee him running from you.

Praise don't complain.

Praise is the most effective tool for getting whatever you want from a man. NEVER complain about a mans inability to do something because he will immediately shut down and resent you. Instead, praise him endlessly when he acts well. His ego will be stroked and in return, you will have him eating out of the palm of your hand.

Elegance = Beauty.

You don't need to be quintessentially beautiful. You don't need to have a great body, you don't need to have a pretty face, you don't need any organically beautiful features. If you can put some quality time and effort into accentuating what you do have going for you and become the most refined and elegant woman in the room, you'll do very well. And elegance isn't just about being able to wear a string of pearls, it's about being confident and centered. It's about self mastery and not feeling the need to be anything but yourself.

Always keep your options open.

Ever heard the dating analogy "Just because I'm on a diet doesn't mean I can't look at the menu"? Well it's something my mom lives by. Yes, she's all for monogamy but the fact of the matter is, you have to look out for yourself first. If your beloved suddenly decides to jump ship or things don't work out, it's always good to have a backup plan. And sometimes you'll find yourself dating someone you thought was great when all of a sudden someone even better stumbles into your life. Ultimately, this is your life and your decisions will have the biggest ripple effect on you. Look out for yourself, keep your options open. Nothing is guaranteed.

There's no shame in not feeling shame.

My mother is an extremely proud woman. Nothing has or ever will get her down about herself which all roots back to her decision to not ever feel shame about who she is. Whenever you feel inclined to feel shameful or insecure, reverse the narrative. If you're the only Black woman in a board room full of white men, instead of getting shy, revel in the fact that everyone will be that much more inclined to listen to you because you stand out. When you show up late to a date, instead of apologizing to your company thank them for waiting. Quite literally force yourself to be completely neutral in all situations and never internalize anything. Shame is really a false narrative we choose to espouse and it only holds us back from our desires. The solution is simple: stop feeling shame.

Above all, you are enough.

Regardless of whether you're still a work in progress or don't have your life together at all, you are the prize and you really have to start acting like it. It's not your job to alter your entire personality for a man. It's not your job to spend all day and night getting ready for dates. It's not your job to level up only for the sake of attracting a man. This kind of behavior will only emphasize this idea that you are not good enough as you are to attract the love that you deserve. You, by virtue of having your own set of life experiences, are completely worthy. The true differentiator between successful women and unsuccessful women is mindset. I know unattractive, uneducated, and unqualified women absolutely killing it in life and it's all because they are confident as fuck and truly believe that they deserve the best. So what's stopping you from cultivating that energy right now? I promise you that if you begin to walk, talk, sleep, eat, and breathe like you are the prize, the world will begin treating you the same way.

Lovingly,

Elle

disc80s

https://www.instagram.com/p/Cc_bDbgP7GZ

oaluz

from complex ptsd: from surviving to thriving by pete walker

tkkatherineblog

federiac-deactivated20250916

Men who worship me, men who literally kiss the ground I walk on, men who see me as a gift from God, men who kiss my hand and who will spend thousands of thousands just to see me happy. Men who don’t wanna see me stress about anything and wanna take care of me, men who shower me with gifts, men who go out of their way to impress me. That’s my type.