So I definitely consider myself a feminist, and an LGBT rights activist within my school, but I have a really hard time not fat-shaming people... I would never fat-shame anyone out loud, but my mind does it all the time. I mean, isn't being fat unhealthy? I really wish I could have any easier time stopping my self for making these assumptions... Any advice?
Let’s start here: The relationship between body type and health status is a false one. For example, do you know any people who are super thin, but when you see what they eat, you notice that it’s all junk food? And you’re like “How do you stay so skinny when all you eat is pizza?” Just because they’re thin does not mean that they’re healthy. Similarly, just because someone isn’t thin does not mean that they’re not healthy.
Are our bodies somewhat malleable? Yeah! Diet and exercise most definitely can have an effect on our bodies. But a lot of what our bodies look like has to do with our genes, bone structures, and metabolisms. So we really can’t judge someone’s health based on what they look like.
But the question is: Why are you concerned about other people’s health? I mean, yes, sure, I care about whether or not a random stranger is about to die. But the way that they choose to live their lives and treat their bodies really isn’t any of my business — a pillar, I believe, of feminist dogma. Do you also shame people who smoke? who drink in excess? who don’t go to the dentist or gynecologist? Unlikely. But we justify our fat-shaming by believing that we’re ~just concerned for their health~ when that’s really not the case at all.
We fat-shame because we’ve been taught to be disgusted by fat bodies and because we’ve been sold the lie that people who are fat are just lazy.
And that’s some bullshit.
As I mentioned recently to someone who was wondering how to stop slut-shaming, unlearning this kind of social conditioning is hard. It is really, really hard to train your mind to remember to think critically about the messages that you’re receiving and outputting. It’s hard to remember that a lot of what we accept as “fact” is really just constructed.
And so, it’s okay if sometimes, a shaming thought passes through your head. You just have to have the analysis skills to ask yourself, “Why did I just think that? Was it fair and accurate? And how can I change the way that I think about that?”
So here are some resources to start help you thinking about why fat-shaming is so, so bad:
Golda Poretsky: Why It’s Okay to Be Fat
Busting Myths About Fat Bodies
Just the Fat Facts, Ma’am
What’s Wrong with Fat-Shaming?
Thank you so much for being self-aware and brave enough to ask the question. That’s the first step in creating internal change.
annaxmalina
blakekathryn
turnnoffyourmind
pixelskylines
izzy806
areudirty
prguitarman
