VA headcannons under cut, i wont lie its a long one. like LONG. i included almost every major character.
he/him bisexual fem pref, otter
transmasc coded, probably not that tho, sometimes a fun headcannon though
if he was an animal he'd be a hyena
there isnt much to say about j+sb cause everything i want to say about them is already cannon
if he was an animal he'd be a bear or saint bernard dog
he/him bisexual fem pref, bordering on bear
downplays how close he and randal are to his girlfriends, because he knows if he acknowledges it he'll have to confront his feelings towards randal; which hes still internalizing
if he was an animal he'd be a german shepherd, like virgil.
he/him technically gay but doesnt identify with any labels, otter
also pretty tmale coded in my head but i dont hc him as such
been crushing on dante since highschool
if he was an animal he'd be a cat like annoying customer, i think he'd be a tabby
probably tried to hire a witch to curse dante, ended up getting into paganism
if she were an animal she'd be a porcupine
got committed after clerks 1
veronica went to visit her, thinking she was just gonna tell her off and yell at her, but when she saw caitlin she felt bad and helped her.
veronica was the only one to visit her when she was in the hospital
if she were an animal she'd be a fox
she/he pan ace, tfem nonbinary/genderflux
came out during clerks 3 casually
probably had a crush on randal in clerks 2 in an admiration way, but lost it going into clerks 3 because she realized it wasnt a real crush
if she was an animal he'd be a highland cow
(au where both the baby and her lived)
kept her last name when getting married
lives in a modest house with dante and randal across from the quick stop where they moved to in ~2008
they have an odd polycule/coparenting situation going on
she knows dante and randal have some weird codependency situation going on and doesnt care
if she was an animal she'd be a ___
super duper hates dante obviously
genuinely the nicest person ever
if she were an animal she'd be a bunny
he/him bisexual fem pref, joking homophobia as a defensive mechanism to make up for his insecurities
also tmale coded in my head. unsure how i headcannon him
if he was an animal he'd be a rat
brodie and him probably kissed in highschool
if he were an animal he'd be a ferret
she's definitely been with girls
if she were an animal she'd be a pigeon
BRANDI
her and rene made out when angry at their bfs
if she were an animal she'd be a dove
him and walt practice kissing each other and are also the only people each of them have kissed
him and walt are lowk pinky and the brain if they were both stupid
if he were a animal he'd be a woodchuck
lives up to the "fanboy" name hardcore. Steves #1 fan.
If he and Steve-Dave were girls they'd be a mean girl duo.
if he were an animal he'd be a hamster
uhhhh idk man he got hard when beating up brodie
if he were an animal he'd be a wolf (wearing a wool lined suit)
knew banky was gay from the start
convinced banky to apologize to alyssa
if he were an animal he'd be a peacock
he/him closeted gay (for a while at least)
him and hooper are dating and in love
hooper helped him get over holden
complains about having a thing for guys whos name start with H
if he were an animal he'd be a guinea pig
forgave holden after a while and they coparent (cannon)
actually good friends with banky after he apologized for being such an asshole when he came out to her about dating hooper
if she were an animal she'd be a lovebird
he/him straight (unless he's a few beers in)
doesnt realize hes an asshole until way late in life
texts banky sometimes late at night but gets ignored
if he were an animal he'd be a badger
sent back to wisconsin after the whole ordeal, after being jailed in hell for a while
if he were an animal he'd be an owl. (watcher.. get it?)
he/him no labels, (otter)
also got sent back to wisconsin after he died.
also jailed, but for less time.
has a star shaped scar on his side.
him and bartleby are on probation
if he were an animal he'd be an otter
probably has a "dont talk to me before my coffee" mug
in a semi-platonic polycule with jay and bob. aka coparents
if she was an animal she'd be a sheep
he/him probably straight idk
has to watch serendipity and azreal fight alot
brings popcorn to said fights
if he was an animal he'd be a chameloen
she hates azreal like a brother
if she were an animal she'd be a gazelle
hates serendipity like a sister
if he were an animal he'd be a snake
met her wife at a bar complaining about jay
if she were an animal she'd be a cat (with sm+c)
i'll admit my headcannons are only for them together
they are in a polycule and kicked justice out when she started dating jay
they are all super in love in prison
if they were animals they'd be cats
plays hockey against grace (i'll talk about her later.. in another post maybe)
if she were an animal she'd be a dingo
(skipping sopapilla and the others because their characters dont have much to them then being diverse sidekicks :[ )
in a t4t relationship with elias ok (tm4tf)
if he were an animal he'd be a deer (deer in headlights eyes)
plays hockey like her dad
if she were an animal idk because she only exists in my head (my version at least)
