Channukah: The Festival of Spite

A blog dedicated to all things Channukitsch.

[festivalofspite-blog]

Put on your yarmulke...

It’s time for Llamakah!

No, really. This is apparently a thing:

Source: The Paper Source

Source: Etsy

Source: Amazon.com

Source: Tipsy Elves

Thanks to Talya for the recommendation!

[festivalofspite-blog]

Gypsy Rose Levine

I’m a shayna maidel, Spinning like a dreidel, Watch me do my Channukah dance. You gotta have a gimmick If you wanna have a chance!

Source: Etsy

[festivalofspite-blog]

Catch Me If You Candle

”WHAT IS THIS? A PLANE FOR ANTS?!”

Source: Traditions Jewish Gifts

[festivalofspite-blog]

Bubbe Goose

Dignified lawn geese demand only the frilliest of Channukah bonnets.

Source: Etsy

[festivalofspite-blog]

I have a little dino...

I have a little dino,

I made it out of clay.

And when it’s dry and ready,

My friends will say, “Oy vey!”

Source: Wanelo.com

[festivalofspite-blog]

Hiss! Boo! I mean, Baa!

It’s a sheep! It’s a snake! It’s Super Ugly Menorah!

Source: Canaan Online

[festivalofspite-blog]

God Bless (Synagogues of) America

Not tacky so much as weird. Who thought of this?

Presenting: "Synagogues of America"

Depicting The Oldest Synagogues From Around The Americas, This Memorable Menorah Lets You Travel To Each One As You Light The Chanukah Candles. This Chanukah Menorah Measures 18" X 6" X 4" And Comes With An Information Sheet On The 9 Different Synagogues. Rodef Shalom, Pittsburgh, PA Sixth And I Historic Synagogue, Washington, DC Eldridge St. Shul, New York, NY Synagogue Of St. Tomas, Virgin Islands Touro Synagogue, Newport, Rhode Island Central Synagogue, New York, NY Temple Sholom, Chicago, Illinois Ohabei Shalom, Brookline, Massachusetts Mikve Israel-Emanuel, Curacao, Netherlands

Source: Traditions Jewish Gifts

[festivalofspite-blog]

The Village People

It's fun to stay at the S-H-T-E-T-L!

(Except, of course, when your village is ransacked by rabid antisemites.)

Source: Zion Judaica

Source: Menorah.com

Source: 1-800-JudaicaGift

[festivalofspite-blog]

I Have a Diva Dreidel

Black leotard: check.

Top hat: check.

Yellow bow tie: check.

Blue platform shoes: check.

Band of children: check.

Can't tell if this dreidel is trying to channel Liza Minnelli in Cabaret or Jack Black in School of Rock.

Source: Chabad Alberta

[festivalofspite-blog]

Oh, baby!

Below you'll find some interesting sartorial choices for your baby -- provided she's blonde, blue-eyed, and tolerant of your terrible taste.

Sources: Etsy

[festivalofspite-blog]

Klezmer Creepfest

Can't tell if this is worse from the front or the back.

Source: worthpoint.com

[seinfeld]

[festivalofspite-blog]

Wishing you all a joyful 7th day of Channukah and a happy Festivus!

[festivalofspite-blog]

Operation: Celebration

This surgical scrub hat is the perfect way to let your daughter know how disappointed you are that she switched her major from bio to art history.

Source: Etsy

[festivalofspite-blog]

Menorah Mutts!

The craftsmanship is superb, but I'm still creeped out by these menorah mutts. Why does the Shammash need to come out of their heads so they look like sad unicorns?

Source: Etsy

[festivalofspite-blog]

So drink your gin and tonikkah...

But please don't smoke your marijuannakah using this monstrosity:

Source: Etsy

[festivalofspite-blog]

Ummm... Wut.

Posted without comment.

Source: Etsy.com

[festivalofspite-blog]

Isn't it ironic?

This dress was--thankfully--created ironically:

An Ugly Hanukkah DRESS! Perfect for your holiday ugly sweater party! Why does Christmas get to have all the fun? Hanukkah can get in on the tacky sweater party time too! Dreidels! Menorahs! Stars of David! Hanukkah! (Or Chanukah!)

That doesn't make it any less ugly, though!

Source: Etsy.com