He Only Need One Popcorn

{teav - they/them - 25 - 🇰🇭🇺🇸} No Sir Not Gettin Out of This Chair. Beware: ever changing interests and suggestive content occasionally

[fewderpewders]

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⬇️ there’s some little guys in there

this has been little guys. thank you

[slightly-sigilant]

I have a new standard for the level of haterdom to aspire to, and it's Reddit User KismaiAesthetics, who hates doing laundry so much that he got really good at it, so that he can (I quote) do it right the first time, every time, and get back to watching cat videos on the Internet.

and by "really good at it," I mean that he does a bunch of reading on the chemistry of laundry, subscribes to academic journals about laundry, and buys a bunch of different laundry products (including from outside the US) to scrutinize their ingredients and test them for himself. he writes a bunch of incredibly detailed longposts about his findings on /r/laundry and his website, which is also about laundry. he even got interviewed about his laundryposts, in which he revealed he's writing a book about laundry. this man is like ahab and the white whale, if ahab had a reddit account and moby dick was a pile of clothes with cheeseburger stains on them

[slightly-sigilant]

anyway the reason I encountered this guy was because recently, the household washer has been leaving these gross little oily brown flakes on anything washed in it. this is kind of a big problem for me, given that I not only have (literal, diagnosed, medicated) OCD which includes a contagion phobia, I also sew a bunch of stuff with the intent of gifting or selling it, and sometimes that involves prewashing fabric. only, you know, washing is supposed to make things cleaner, not dirtier.

and my research brought me to (gross photos warning!) Kismai's post on the very topic. apparently this stuff is called "scrud," and it's basically a residue that forms over time inside the nooks and crannies of a washing machine - leftover detergent reacting with mineral traces in tapwater to form a buildup that also traps dyes, grease, and other dirt, which bacteria then feeds on, because it wasn't already gross enough. it forms faster if you have hard water, use too much detergent (which most people do), use fabric softener, wash only on cold and the list goes on and on - point is, scrud is the reason that you have to actually clean your washing machine, or be super fastidious about how you do laundry.

(I'll take "things I wish school/my parents actually taught me" for 800)

so now I am engaged in a lengthy battle against scrud, armed with a tub of oxiclean and a sack of citric acid crystals. (we're renters, so disassembling the machine is out of the question.) pour in a scoop of oxiclean, run a machine clean cycle, pour in a scoop of citric acid, run another machine clean cycle, all while wiping piles and piles of scrud out of the drum at the end of each cycle. I'm on the eighth cycle now. there's still so much scrud. the reddit record for "how many cleaning cycles were needed to get a machine entirely free of scrud" is 22 cycles. help

[slightly-sigilant]

hey so like

it turns out that laundry sucks significantly less when your clothes and sheets and etc actually come out of the machine looking, feeling, and smelling clean, rather than looking, feeling, and smelling like despair dipped in slime

like, I have this pillowsheet I call my Depression Era Pillowsheet, because during a Real Bad Time of my life when 90% of all I could do was lie in bed and cry, that was the pillowsheet I laid and cried on. this went on for weeks, and it was never changed out because, again, 90% of my waking hours were Lie In Bed And Cry Hours. it did eventually get changed out, but no matter how many washes I put it through, it remained stained and slimy. like I'd throw it in every time I washed my clothes and it would still come out feeling like someone had applied a fresh layer of Weeping Slime Laminate to it. someone with more sense probably would have thrown it out but idk, I just never did for some reason

anyway! taking some pointers from the freaks over at /r/laundry, I grabbed an enzyme-based detergent, a booster (thing of More Enzymes and oxygen bleach that you add alongside detergent to make it clean gooder), and washed everything on hot (in a machine without a scrud problem), including the Depression Era Pillowsheet. it finally came out looking and feeling like fresh clean cotton?? what?? I hadn't even done the whole "soak it for 24 hours in various unsettling substances" thing??? wack

[hurtstohope]

i have big plans to try and sew a little felt mouse and it might go badly and that’s okay

[hurtstohope]

he exists bc i made him

[swarnpert]

they are starving the children of boston right now

[kitkenk]

it's a little stuffy in here, sorry

[guerrillatech]

[wordswithimages]

[tonysopranoproskater69420]

thanks tvtropes I can always count on you to gas me up

[rainbow-femme]

His strength is that he is biscuits

[plasmalink]

Pronoun roles on discord servers aren't a bad idea, but there is the fun implication that you can ping an entire pronoun set.

Hey I got a problem with something, this is an all they/thems on deck situation

[just-spacetrash]

in my little pony universe youd go to a job interview and theyd be like so how does your cutiemark reflect your dedication to this position. And every time youd have to spew some bullshit about how your cutiemark of two tennis rackets actually means youre a team player and good at multitasking and view the market like a playing field. or whatever. and you wouldnt even get the job

[fvckw4d]

Thanks to Equestria v Sugar Sprinkle, cutie mark interview questions are considered hiring discrimination, so if anypony asks you any cutiemark related questions or even alludes to any questions about your cutiemark such as "In your own words, describe your life purpose" you can and should refuse to answer. Know your rights, ponies.

[nephilimbrute]

happy B1G MAN day 🥞🐗🎼

[yamada-ryo]

honestly one of the all time tweets of all time tbh

[blextrophy]

[tinybed]

little baby… i’m taking u home with me

[stonerparty]

[uptownthots]

what is a normal amount of photos to have on your phone. probably 28,000 right

[uptownthots]

DONT SAY THAAAAAAAAT

[sanrio-stud]

how many pics & videos do you have on your phone?

0-500

501-1,000

1,001-5,000

5,001-10,000

10,001-15,000

15,001-20,000

20,001-25,000

25,001-30,000

30,001-40,000

40,001-50,000

50,001-60,000

> 60,000

Voting ended onJul 30

[tomb-mold]

the problem is i really do love staying up until one billion o'clock. it just cant be helped