final fantasy incorrect quotes

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Bartz: Squall, what do you call a fish with no eye?

Squall: *reading* Myxine Circifrons.

Bartz: Fsh.

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Bartz: Why is everything so expensive?! I swear nothing in this world is free.

Zidane: Man, everything is free if you can run fast enough.

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Zack: But that's murder!

Sephiroth: Jesus, Zack. Grow up.

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[Lightning & the kids]

Lightning: *sighs* Can I be frank with you, guys?

Tidus: Of course! But I don't see how changing your name is gonna help.

Zidane: I prefer Lightning, though.

Vaan: Can I still be Vaan???

Ace: Shh, guys. Let Frank speak.

Frank:

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Noctis: Why is blood so hard to wash off your hands?

Noctis: Okay, I just realized how bad that sounds. For the record, I had a nosebleed, I’m not a serial killer.

Zidane: We all know that's not quite true.

Lightning: Hydrogen peroxide dissolves blood, just so you know.

Terra: Do you think if you gave someone a huge shot of hydrogen peroxide straight into their bloodstream it would dissolve their blood and kill them?

Squall: Gods, this team is filled with murderers.

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Terra: Oh, fiddlesticks.

Lightning: Hey, I understand this is a tense situation but let's watch the fucking language.

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Zidane: I think I'm immortal.

Vaan: Why?

Zidane: I haven't died yet.

Tidus: Holy shit.

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Vaan: Sometimes I do listen to you, you know?

Lightning: That hasn't been my experience

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Rinoa: If we're in a relationship, your clothes are my clothes too. Don't ask me why I have your shirt on, this is OUR shirt.

Squall: When I come strutting in with your leggings on I don't wanna hear shit.

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Lightning: I'm not mad, I just want to know why you two need a fake ID.

Zidane and Squall: *mumbles*

Terra: They said you need to be over 18 at Gold Saucer to hold the chocobos chicks.

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[VI & IX running away from Sephiroth and Emperor Mateus]

Terra: You know, this is worse than when you punched through that vending machine.

Zidane: I didn’t pay for that candy to get stuck on the coil, Terra.

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Y'shtola: What do you think Vaan will do for a distraction?

Onion Knight: He’ll probably make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

[several explosions and buildings on fire]

Y'shtola:

Onion Knight: …Or he could do that.

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Ignis: Prompto, can I speak to you for a second? In private.

Prompto: Ohh, someone is in trouble. And it's me. I don't know why I did that.

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Terra: So how was your day, guys?

Zidane: We almost got surprise adopted!

Lightning: What?

Squall: We almost got kidnapped.

Terra: Oh, okay.

Lightning: WAIT WHAT?!?

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Sephiroth: My criminal record? The only illegal thing I’ve ever done is absolutely killing it on the dance floor!

Cloud:

Sephiroth: Haha just kidding, I've killed people before.

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Lightning: What in the world happened here?

Zidane: In my defense, I was left unsupervised.

Cecil: Wasn't Bartz with you?

Bartz: In my defense, I was also left unsupervised.

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Terra: It's tough to be the mom friend sometimes, but I love and care about my friends, and-

Tidus: Terra... Vaan and I tried to make ramen in the coffee machine, and now is all broken.

Terra: