07/17/2026
Yuck-o-rama.
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JOKE-OGRAPHY:
In Matthew 13, Jesus speaks to a crowd in parables. After opening with the Parable of the Sower, He continues with three more parables that kind of flow together, each beginning with, "The kingdom of heaven is like..." and going on to describe something unexpected.
Weeds Among Wheat This parable compares the kingdom to a man who sows healthy wheat in his field, but before it grows, an enemy sneaks in and sows weeds among the wheat. The man decides to let the plants grow together until harvest, at which point his reapers collect everything, sorting the wheat into his barn and the weeds into a fire.
Mustard Seed This parable compares the kingdom of heaven to a mustard seed, colloquially known to the people around Jesus as pretty much the teensiest little thing ever. The mustard plant is a somewhat invasive shrub, and not very grand, but Jesus describes this tiny seed being intentionally sown, then turning into a giant plant so big that birds can nest in it.
Hidden YeastThis parable compares the kingdom of heaven to some yeast (fungus that eats sugar to release gas and expand dough) that a woman hides in an enormous measure of wheat flour to make bread. Yeast is technically an unclean ingredient to Jews, but Jesus describes this yeast causing the dough to rise as a positive. It yields a crazy amount of bread.
Altogether, these stories paint a strange picture. Jesus says these scenarios are each like the kingdom of heaven, and we're left with images of unclean or undesirable things mixed in with the good until the end of the age when everything is sorted out, along with images of small and unassuming things invading the world around them, expanding, and taking over, providing fruit or life or shelter or food by spreading out generously.
In this cartoon, each of Jesus's three parables (from Matthew 13:24-35) is summarized into an absurd one-sentence blurb that is technically accurate but a little more jarring than the wording we're used to. Some of us long-time Christians grew up with these parables, so their intended oddness can be lost on us. Hopefully this helps communicate how bizarre some of the imagery would've been to a listener back then. Anywho, a guy in the crowd notices Jesus's odd metaphors and complains, then talks himself into a theological awakening, then talks himself out of that awakening because it makes him uncomfortable. We all do be that guy sometimes, ahaintgonlieboutdatmaynsheeeewt.
