i want tom and shiv trapped in a failing marriage that neither of them will admit isn’t working, never even contemplating divorce as an option.
because the love was there. once. and love is like a million different things, right? can’t it also be bitter, snarling resentment, or the cycles of your father you’re doomed to repeat? the anger when he instinctively knows how to care for your child, and you don’t? the little spark of jealousy you stamp down when you see him go out with another woman (or worse, your own male cousin)? or the tiny speck of hope that one day, one day, he’ll come to you on his knees, teary-eyed, and admit you were right all along, and that it was always you (company-wise and romantic-wise)? for that, she stays. and for similar reasons, tom does the same.
don’t get me wrong! i also want tom and greg miserable. i want them scheming and cheating and hating each other and protecting each other and betraying each other so much it can’t be anything but obsession. (or could that be love, too?) tom didn’t think it would last this long, greg definitely not, what with the relationship starting as a way to enact what tom felt for shiv. but now that it’s started, he’ll never stop it. he can’t let anyone else have him. (is that love?)
i want the thought of a typical, public, relationship to never cross their mind— the benefits of being married to the former boss’s daughter are too great for the both of them. (and there’s still that annoying matter of tom’s love for her.)
i want greg dealing with the lingering nausea of the knowledge that he’s following his father’s footsteps. sleeping with a married man, content to be the waystar’s ceo “other woman”, the one that the tabloids whisper about. and knowing that he’d still never do anything different. is it guilt? is it hatred? (is it love?)
i want shiv doing the same. the knowledge that she’s emulating caroline eats her alive. but she won’t allow herself the humiliation of divorce, but even worse, the separation from tom’s power. tom stays for shiv’s. (that’s a sort of love, isn’t it? staying?)
tom finally has some semblance of power, but only derived from his position below other people. people only suck up to him and pretend to like him because of his position. he loves the money he gets from it. but he still clings to that fruitless yearning for love. is this all there is? hatred, jealousy, resentment, coming together to form love— all jumbled into one big snag that he can never hope to untie?
shiv is caroline. tom is logan. and greg is marcia (and his father). the cycle continues. and none of them will ever think to break it.
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