What.

Okay.

[muppethole-deactivated20240312]

[uiruu]

hallowed be thy ween

[galamerapple]

if gansey is not there for a pynch milestone did it really happen

[hornykylo]

[floraexpress]

Marietjie Henning, Motherhood  

[happybunnykat]

A new version of Phineas and Ferb is being released. It is on a streaming service, and will be rated MA. Everyone wonders what this mature version of their beloved kids show will be. The first season is released, and you start watching it. It is just the same as the first season of the old show. Is this some elaborate joke? Finally at the end of the first episode, it happens. Dr. Doofenshmirtz is defeated, as he usually is. This time, however, as Perry is making his exit, you here Doofenshmirtz yell, "Fuck you Perry the Platypus." This is the only thing that has changed in the show.

[mandojerk]

I assumed that Ferb would finally be allowed to kill

[happybunnykat]

[the-lincyclopedia]

Is it just me or does having a positive interaction with a stranger scratch a very particular itch? I think it's the reassurance that the world is not split solely into people who already love you and people who never will.

[dunewizard]

I’m crumbly like a dirt don’t pick me up

[grlonth3m00n]

i love tumblr bc i just talk into the void & bad bitches agree wimme

[vulgarette]

girls be in their bedrooms. spiraling and what not

[waller-bridge]

This is the employment Steve, reblog for bountiful job opportunity.

[heavenintact]

we literally live in a dystopian world where sleepy girls are forced to work

[i-am-a-fish]

comfy

[tonakings]

FISH NO

[i-am-a-fish]

..but comfy

[tonakings]

FISH PLEASE YOU COULD GET HURT

[i-am-a-fish]

s

sleeby….

[the-top-hat-anon-deactivated201]

[succubus-saliva]

Put those fucking sticks down

[esera-deactivated20211018]

i have got to go missing

[depsidase]

[matchagirl]

in my bed era

[audliminal]

Me meeting a genie: Okay, so my first wish is for 1000 dollars a day, deposited to my bank account without any way of tracing it to anything illegal. I want this money to come from the ten richest people in America (100 dollars each), withdrawn under the guise of nebulous, random purchases and surcharges. It would probably be best to split the money into a myriad of smaller fees, though, to reduce the likelihood of anyone noticing. Got all that?

Genie: um

Me, continuing on without a care: For my SECOND wish, I want you to give me the ability to learn any given phoneme, so that I can learn to pronounce new languages perfectly. If you're willing, it'd be nice if it were a little easier to memorize new languages too, but if that's not cool, I'm perfectly fine doing all the legwork myself I mostly just want to be capable of pronouncing things correctly.

Genie, now staring at me like I'm insane: ......okaaayyy?....

Me: For my third wish. I want to always have great ideas for gifts for people. Every birthday, every holiday, I want to be able to come up with something they'd really like, with enough time to actually get it for them.

Genie, just staring at me

Me: I can provide you with a written document if that would help.

[beautifulscreaminglady]

people like op are the ones that get memorialized in folk tales for outwitting the devil