A Very Excellent Kink Tomato

Dead Dove: Do Not Eat (Not everything necessarily, but, general alert). I keep running into things that I don't feel correct putting on my general kink blog and I don't feel correct putting on my general fandom blog. This is the result. -Cis woman, neurodivergent-including-disabled, asexual, queer. Social justice, human rights, right to self, consent culture. I kink on mostly terrible things. Here there are, among other things, some of them. -Talking to people is one of my favorite activities and I'd love to make new fandom friends/acquaintances/etc, so people who feel like they might want to message me are encouraged to totally do so. ➾My fic and stuff

[krabat-art]

love in vain

[outofangband]

Hey! I’m a huge Silm fan and Maedhros has been my favorite character for years! I have really been enjoying your Maedhros-centered writings so just wanted to say thank you and i hope you keep doing what you’re doing :) (no pressure intended) anyway i use drawing as therapy and today i ended up drawing this while thinking of what ive read on this blog so ~idea credit~ the original (right) and the one i thought looked cool with inverted colors (left) (tags: sorry this was long, I appreciate you)

@dir-i-elena​

(my response: oh my gosh thank you so so much! this is absolutely beautiful! His resigned and hidden expression! the variations of scars and injuries that just don’t leave any of him unspared. His hair! the chains including his collar! and the eerie lights! You’re so so talented and I’m so honored!)

I appreciate you so much too! Seeing art based on my writing is like the most most special thing to me! 

edit: had to go back and add because there’s so many aspects of this art I love!

[fuckingfinwions]

Servant AU Nolofinweans’ favorite and least favorite tasks

(not counting “sexually servicing people/getting raped”)

Nolofinwe

Favorite: Going around in the morning to re-lay the fireplaces in all the bedrooms. Mostly because it allows him to check on where Fingon, Turgon, and Aredhel are if the didn’t make it back to their rooms last night. He can’t do a lot with the knowledge (definitely can’t get them out of there), but based off who had them he can guess how exhausted they’ll be and what share of their chores he should take on for them. 

Least Favorite: Scrubbing toilets. It feels incredibly degrading. As a prince, Nolfoinwe would pick things up off the floor, and mop up his own spills usually, and occasionally cook his own food. When he went hunting, he even washed his own clothes and looked after his own horse. But he had servants to clean the bathroom. After all, it’s not a daily task. Even for a weeklong solitary meditaition retreat, someone can go up first to “air out the place” and take care of the unpleasant tasks. So cleaning toilets is a measue of how very low Nolofinwe has been brought.

Fingon

Favorite: Cooking. He doesn’t get to plan the menus or anything, but he can chop vegetables or stir or such. Cooking is a thing normal people do, even those who don’t want to show off fancy spotless palaces and presumably clean less often. The other servants talk to him about how best to cook a particular dish, and gossip with each other, and Fingon can have social interaction that’s not with his family or his rapists. Also there are knives in the kitchen. One of these days, someone’s going to forget to count them when Fingon leaves. 

Least Favorite: Scrubbing floors. Physically exhausting. Involves being in a position that is difficult to quickly get up from, whether to bow or to get out of the way. And it brings back memories of the fist time Feanor made use of him - which was also when Fingon realized that rape was going to be something that happened to him and his siblings, not just his father.

Turgon

Favorite: Copying books in the library. It doesn’t always need to be done, but the books do fade and wear out over time, so someone needs to replace them. He’s not respected enough to write his own books of course, or copy edit, or compile reports. But Turgon has good penmanship, and it’s usually steward who assigns chores rather than Feanor himself. Turgon likes reading, even the dry scholarly texts, and if it’s assigned as a task he actually has the energy to pay attention, rather than at the end of a long day. And (although Turgon is a little embarrassed by this and thinks it’s silly) sometimes when copying the books he’ll pretend he’s a prince, that the whole library is his, and he’s maintaining it because that’s how he chooses to prioritize his time.

Least Favorite: Laundry, especially bedding. It has far too much evidence of what happened to his family members last night. Turgon copes by compartmentalizing, and so rape intruding onto chores is difficult to deal with.

Aredhel

Favorite: (It would be pottery because that involves being not at the palace, but that seemed obvious so I went with second choice.) Taking care of the dogs in the kennels. At least someone’s happy to see her. Aredhel is away from the palace most of the time in her pottery apprenticeship, which keeps the number of times she’s raped per year lower than the other Nolofinweans. It means she’s a bit of a novelty when she is around though, and all the Feanorians will be focused on her. Working in the kennels is sweaty and smelly and messy in a thoroughly unattractive way, so she’ll typically be let alone for a few hours while she’s doing it.

Least Favorite: Dusting or lighting the chandeliers. The chandeliers are all designed so fancy and intricate with lots of tiny fiddly places where dust collects. There’s only one path down a ladder, so it’s really easy for someone to corner her, and she can’t pretend she didn’t see them and walk out another door.

[findundergrounddragoutofwater]

servant nolofinweans aufunfact: in all of my stories the elves have indoor plumbingonly exception is if they're camping or literally the first year after founding a citylinguistics sidenote that english should have a better word for least favorite/most hatedFingon does not actually have a plan for solving things with one kitchen knifejust killing Feanor wouldn't actually get the nolofinweans freebut Fingon is confident that if he had a knife he'd figure out the next step from therearedhel has seriously weighed the pros and cons of swinging from the chandeliers to clean thempros: fun; might break and then she wouldn't have to clean it; no one can get to her twenty feet in the aircons: might fall and get injured; in so much trouble if it breaks; how do you even get up there without a ladder ooh

mmm how many of them connect into their other family members being in this same situation, in all these different ways.

aw Turgon.

[sad-elf-bullshit-deactivated202]

A very quick Maedhros taken prisoner for day 1 of @feanorianweek

[rointheta-deactivated20150914]

40 Questions — Meme for Fic Writers

[aylithewriting]

Describe your comfort zone—a typical you-fic.

Is there a trope you’ve yet to try your hand at, but really want to?

Is there a trope you wouldn’t touch with a ten foot pole?

How many fic ideas are you nurturing right now? Care to share one of them?

Share one of your strengths.

Share one of your weaknesses.

Share a snippet from one of your favorite pieces of prose you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.

Which fic has been the hardest to write?

Which fic has been the easiest to write?

Is writing your passion or just a fun hobby?

Is there an episode above all others that inspires you just a little bit more?

What’s the best writing advice you’ve ever come across?

What’s the worst writing advice you’ve ever come across?

If you could choose one of your fics to be filmed, which would you choose?

If you only could write one pairing for the rest of your life, which pairing would it be?

Do you write your story from start to finish, or do you write the scenes out of order?

Do you use any tools, like worksheets or outlines?

Stephen King once said that his muse is a man who lives in the basement. Do you have a muse?

Describe your perfect writing conditions.

How many times do you usually revise your fic/chapter before posting?

Choose a passage from one of your earlier fics and edit it into your current writing style. (Person sending the ask is free to make suggestions).

If you were to revise one of your older fics from start to finish, which would it be and why?

Have you ever deleted one of your published fics?

What do you look for in a beta?

Do you beta yourself? If so, what kind of beta are you?

How do you feel about collaborations?

Share three of your favorite fic writers and why you like them so much.

If you could write the sequel (or prequel) to any fic out there not written by yourself, which would you choose?

Do you accept prompts?

Do you take liberties with canon or are you very strict about your fic being canon compliant?

How do you feel about smut?

How do you feel about crack?

What are your thoughts on non-con and dub-con?

Would you ever kill off a canon character?

Which is your favorite site to post fic?

Talk about your current wips.

Talk about a review that made your day.

Do you ever get rude reviews and how do you deal with them?

Write an alternative ending to [insert fic title] (or just the summary of one).

[loversandantiheroes]

me: I’m just gonna write a smutty oneshot.

the oneshot, dragging along four massively overloaded suitcases labeled “PLOT,” “RELATIONSHIP DEVELOPMENT,” “CHARACTER GROWTH,” and “TRAUMA AND HEALING AS A THEMATIC ELEMENT”: ok just hear me out tho

[girlwholovesherwords]

@brightwanderer

[brightwanderer]

LOoK

[i-am-a-lonely-visitor]

forgot about bilbo’s 5-star tripadvisor review of rivendell 

[caption: text excerpt from return of the king, reading: “The fire’s very cosy here, and the food’s very good, and there are Elves when you want them. What more could one want?”]

[celebrimbor-of-eregion]

“There are elves when you want them” sounds like Sauron’s reasoning for living in Ost-in-Edhil.

[fuckingfinwions]

Sexual roleplays between Fingon and Maedhros, in ascending order of much they’d horrify Fingon’s siblings

Fingon kills Glaurung and then he and Maedhros have sex

King Fingon orders  a random pretty knight into his bed

King Maedhros orders a random pretty knight into his bed

Noble defiant prince is captive of the evil dark lord (Fingon usually subs for this one)

Lord Maedhros threatens to lead the East in a revolt if King Fingon doesn’t do as he says

What if we had literally fucked on top of a pile of orc corpses, rather than waiting until we were off the battlefield like we always did

Fingon kills Glaurung and gets Glaurung’s mind control powers, orders Maedhros into his bed

King with the Silmaril demands sexual favors from Maedhros in payment

A condition of my resurrection in Valinor was making amends with everyone I wronged. I will do anything to get you to forgive me.

Murderous Lord Maedhros captures king who has the Silmaril, takes the Silmaril and says the Oath will be satisfied with sexual revenge on the king

Feanor holds a sword to Nolofinwe’s throat, and then a “sword” to Nolofinwe’s throat (Maedhros and Fingon both like both roles of this one)

Frequently involves ‘Feanor’ comparing what he’s doing to ‘Nolofinwe’ with Maedhros and Fingon’s relationship, denigrating both Fingon and Nolofinwe.

Follow up to that one where Feanor “apologizes”

Random commoner at Sirion begs murderous Lord Maedhros to spare him, Maedhros demands sexual favors

What if we had literally fucked on top of a pile of Teleri corpses at Alqualonde

[thehopelessopus]

Friend: So what helps you fall asleep at night?

me: fantasizing about tied-up boys straining to hold in tortured screams while writhing in agony.

Friend: …what?

me: what?

[findundergrounddragoutofwater]

I want stimulation and by stimulation I mean kink content

[ajoblotofjunk]

Let’s do this. Instead of replying, though, send me an Ask.

[demigodsanswer]

[id: a tweet reading “Reply with a fic premise that 100% sounds like the kind of thing I would write, and I’ll tell you how embarrassingly accurate it is.”] 

Send me an ask

[decadent-prince]

I WILL find the darkest possible ship(s) in any given fandom and I WILL have at least some passing affection and/or support for it/them

[tolkiencrackweek]

Announcing Tolkien Crack Week 2020

Are you a fan of ridiculous headcanons? Have you lain awake at night wondering how dwarves know so much about the nervous system? Do you ship Crablor/Milker? Well, friend, you’ve come to the right place.

Tolkien’s work can seem a bit serious sometimes, but the fandom does our best to bring some levity into Middle-Earth! Crack week is a place to celebrate all our weirdest, stupidest, silliest ideas about Tolkien’s world. It is open to fans of all parts of the legendarium, from the Rankin-Bass Hobbit to Laws and Customs of the Eldar.

The event will run August 10-16. It’s short notice, so don’t sweat it! Do as much or as little as you want, and I’ll keep reblogging things as long as you keep sending ‘em–be it art, fic, meta, headcanons, or whatever else strikes your fancy. I’ll work on some loose prompts, but really, this is for you to share your stuff. All forms and variations of silliness are welcome!

The event is modded by @maglor-still-lives, so please contact me if you have questions/comments/concerns/suggestions!

Tag your work with @tolkiencrackweek and let’s have a good time!

[shitty-tolkien-aus]

I have no affiliation with this, but I expect that ans of shitty-tolkien-aus will enjoy it!

[findundergrounddragoutofwater]

Will Nolo unplanned pregnancy results in one of the feanorian or one of the nolofinwean? Will Feanor meet Nerdanel ? Is Anaire in the plan?

The plan is for the unplanned pregnancy to result in Fingon; this does have the consequence that Fingon will be older than Maedhros, which is weird for me, but I don’t think I’m going to have the Feanorians be, well, not Feanor’s, so.

And oh, right, oops, I didn’t actually talk about that on here!

Yes, Feanor meets Nerdanel, and yes Anaire is in the plan and is the other parent in the accidental pregnancy situation! Anaire here is Nerdanel’s. 

I’d earlier had this idea of Nolo at college looking around for other people like him and spotting Anaire. So here he and Anaire were permitted to - basically have sex as friends. And then, well. 

(The way I’ve currently thought through this happening is that elves in this verse have some kind of varying thing in like - how strongly it might be a thing that pregnancy will happen between two people, and therefore what level of thing you have to do to protect against it, which varies based on some kind of attributes they have.

So Nolo is not used to having to remember to think about it, bc he and Feanor are at a lower level and did whatever needs to be done, so he doesn't have to worry. So he just. Forgot to think about it. (And I think maybe since he doesn't usually have sex he's also liking, he got kind of distracted?))

So. Unplanned pregnancy.

[findundergrounddragoutofwater]

In other news apparently I got some asks but tumblr decided not to tell me this! Sorry about that!

[findundergrounddragoutofwater]

“Right here, over my lap, good. I’m going to start, and I won’t stop until you’re crying.”

Well, this sure spent a long time as a WIP, but!

(Set in my college au slave au verse (and thank you!))

Directions (1398 words) by Code16 Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien Rating: Not Rated Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings Relationships: Fëanor | Curufinwë/Fingolfin | Ñolofinwë Characters: Fingolfin | Ñolofinwë, Fëanor | Curufinwë Additional Tags: Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - Slavery, dark!Fëanor, Punishment, Corporal Punishment, Spanking, Humiliation, Tumblr Prompt, Belting Series: Part 3 of and the second may be what thou wilt

Summary: 'He hands over the map. Feanor glances between it and the buildings, then looks back to him. "Did you think if you didn’t tell me we’d end up appearing at the building by sheer coincidence?”

“No." Feanor turns and strides away - doesn’t say anything about what he’s earned, something to tell the housekeeper, but he knows that doesn’t mean there’s not a punishment. (He holds Feanor’s bag and follows, quickly.)'

[thehopelessopus]

Defiant Whumpee Dialogue Prompts

“Fuck you.”

“Is that it?”

“You’re not taking me anywhere.”

“I bet you say that to all the girls.”

“Do what you want.”

“I have a name!”

“You’re not getting anything from me.”

“I feel great.  Well, I mean, I’m chained to a fucking wall, so that kind of puts a damper on things.”

“You kiss your mama with that mouth?”

“Wow.  I’m shaking in my boots.”

“You’re going to regret this.”

“Why would I tell you anything?”

“Just shut the fuck up and do it already!”

And, alternatively, my personal favorite: refusing to say anything at all.