🐟?

:D

[exitwound]

interviewer: can you explain this gap in your resume?

me: mhm so that’s called a lacuna. it refers to when manuscripts have missing parts, lost to time. for example, the epic of gilgamesh has

[shelter-wood]

give me the aux cable

[mold-wizard]

Okay, the pop-up spellbook is kind of fun, but when you turn to the page for lightning bolt remember to duck.

[bwaah]

pour one out for the guy who just spilled his drink

[bwaah]

situation worse

[emailmore]

FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[foreveriallyzombified]

please tell me this isnt real are you okay oh my god

[emailmore]

no way dude hes gonna suck my dang blood out

[neenarchive]

they're hiring me at the extra virgin olive oil factory as the oathsworn knight who protects the chastity of the olives

[neenarchive]

many dishonourable knaves in the notes of this post

[evilwizard]

im shadowmaxxing bro. im gloompilled. i would never enter a sunbeam like some sort of light-loving suncel. now if you’ll excuse me, ive got to get back to dark corner farming

[evilwizard]

Holy Knight of the East just texted me “you need vitamin D bro.” what is that. whats a vitamin

[john-boneman-lich-lord]

I will commit extraordinary acts of magical violence for the pettiest of reasons do not tempt me

[the-curse-wizard]

At your service.

I CAST fémur explosion

[mold-wizard]

Yeah, okay, I was feeling kind of uninspired so my latest cursed amulet is just... it's kind of a choose-your-own-curse thing. Yeah, you just decide on the curse yourself. Make sure it's something suitably unpleasant, though. You're on the honor system here.

[thestuffedalligator]

I will always prefer Wizards Is A Job over Wizards Is A Species as a trope.

Wizarding should be something you work towards. Being a wizard is like being an architect, or a painter, or a chemist. It’s something that makes your relatives ask “So are you still doing that or do you have an actual job now”

[evilwizard]

the puzzlemasters’ guild has gone on strike until they get more trinkets and tokens

[evilwizard]

tf do you mean their union demands came in the form of a riddle

[flipchild]

I get it...! 😲 If I can't punch, I just have to use lasers and beams...!

[jame7t]

I feel like an alien tomb would be sooooo fucking cool until a alien mummy gets up and chase you

[cryptotheism]

This happened to me. You think mummies are slow as fuck and you can outrun them. But alien mummies have a ray gun.

[jame7t]

do not trauma dump on my posts please

[karmicpunishment]

ASK CHATGPT??????? i would NEVER. i ask all my questions to the pythia at the oracle of delphi like apollo intended.

[karmicpunishment]

pythia. pythia why are you placing a curse on me

[karmicpunishment]

pythia told me it is not looking good.

[agnes-nielsens]

schrödinger's flirting. i mean it as much as you do

[frogtonguekiss]

[party-in-my-head]