The Chef Is A Shrimp?

More likely than you think

[jaggedspine]

twitter | instagram | bluesky · do not reupload · no generative ai · pfp OK with credit support me on kofi!

[jaggedspine]

was inspired DO NOT REPOST THIS ANYWHERE Instagram | Twitter | BlueSky

[hatbabo]

childhood... neighbors?

[jaggedspine]

I'm not the one you really want Instagram | Twitter | BlueSky • Do NOT re-upload my art. • Do NOT use my art for generative AI training. • Using my art for profile picture(s) is OK with credit.

[balo-badartist]

wolf cub

[kyri45]

Was inspired by the wonderful post by @hailed-marys so me and @sam-i-am-27 got possessed by the demons and came out with this.

HC list under the cut

* Astrophage is more like a virus that either alters people, causing them to commit crimes or violent acts, or a power that supervillains are starting to use.

* Grace is still a middle school teacher who got bitten by the spider, obviously.

* Adrian is the one who stitched up the suit (the Aunt May of this universe).

* He has all the perks of a normal Spider-Man, but he's still Grace, so he's incredibly clumsy. He does have a super-strong spider sense, and that's what saves him 100% of the time, but he absolutely does not have the agility. When adrenaline kicks in, he can do anything, but otherwise he'll trip over the most ridiculous things.

* He was wearing his yellow raincoat the first time he saved someone, so now he wears it over his suit (along with his white Converse).

* The spider was discovered by SHIELD (which is undercover as a scientific research facility that Grace works for part-time). After the original test subjects (who were only able to survive the spider mutations if they possessed a specific gene) were killed in an attack, Eva delivered the spider to Grace so he could be bitten before other villains got their hands on that power. (My boy gets unwillingly turned into a savior in every universe.)

* Simon is still an ex-convict who, in exchange for his freedom, is asked by the evil company of the day to test a series of mines infected by what appears to be blood from a meteorite (which eventually turns out to be the symbiote Ellie!).

* At first, they wanted to kill each other, but they end up becoming besties.

[videolottery]

Fish aren’t dumb for biting worms on a fishhook. If there was a jolly rancher in a gun barrel I would at least try to grab it out

[noondove]

Imagining Olruggio trying to get closer to Qifrey throughout the years in the romantic sense, sneaking casual touches, flirting in subtle ways only to be redirected every time gently but firmly, always with a pained look on Qifrey's face. Thinking that it's because Qifrey has realised he has feelings for him and he feels pity for Olruggio. Beating himself up over it, hating himself for wanting more than friendship. Thinking he misread every platonic sign as romantic and questioning himself at every turn. Slowly but surely making peace with the fact that Qifrey doesn't want him like that and keeping a friendly distance - no matter, Qifrey still seems to want him around. That's fine.

Meanwhile Qifrey, age 10, and everyday since, for 20+ years:

[noondove]

I'm sure someone already did this but I just had to. Template by nushanchel on twt!

[badassdemonsword]

Heated rivalry shouldve been about 2 ugly old guys that play mahjong then maybe id consider watching it

[krownest]

i don't remember them playing mahjong but they do other old man things like going to the wet market together and drinking soup and taking walks. anyway go watch suk suk / twilight's kiss

[krownest]

"ok but where's the old chinese lesbians" go watch all shall be well. it's by the same director and the old chinese lesbians are also at the market

[sunflowerbutch]

nothing will remind you that eating is good and okay like fantasy books will. “and that night in the valley they brought out the best plum cake and sweet cream, trout and turnips roasted over the fire, mead and goatsmilk and fresh cold water from the spring-“ and it’s like yeah dude you’re absolutely right. then sometimes it’s like “as he slept that night in the woods, he sorely missed the valley, where they brought out the best plum cake-“ and it’s like man that sucks i’ll have some seconds in his honor

[earthnation]

I want to fuck your throat

my thrussy!?!?

[ventrue]

[schakira]

sorry for being dramatic but this post did irreparable damage to the english language

[timebendinglunatic]

Horrible job, everyone! Thank you!

[earthnation]

my bad damn

[worldheritagepostorganization]

World Heritage Post

[thulium]

[susiehunsecker-remade]

this is one of my favourite posts of all time

[cali]

2018 tumblr post:

1: why do they call it a boner when theres no bone in it

2: there used to be

3: why does this sound so ominous

2025 tumblr post:

1: forward my shambling soldiers and slay without thinking. let blood flow into every crevice of this rotten land

2: yes my lady

3: yes my lady

[greelin]

get fucking seen & accepted idiot

[casgirl]

hxh is soooo…..every time a character has a big power upgrade moment you have to think about the horrible things they had to do in exchange for it. Like kurapika is literally trading away years of his life. Killua is super nonchalant about it but the only reason he’s able to use electricity that easily is years of brutal childhood abuse. And gon………..

[casgirl]

And leorio had to go to college!!!