qanniqtuq

sara. >30. tired. Neroon Lied In The Starfire Wheel truther. mostly reblogs & Babylon 5. kanadka@AO3 kanadka@dreamwidth kanadka@bsky (kanadka @ discord too technically but maybe give me a headsup on that one)

[dogpuppy]

[officialprydonchapter-deactivat]

How do you write healthy parent-child relationships?

[dragon-in-a-fez]

this might be more response than you want, but interesting (and kinda depressing when you think about it) fact: there’ve been a bunch of research studies where parents have been asked what they think makes a healthy parent-child relationship, and they tend to like…not answer the actual question because they think they’re being asked what good parenting is, which is not the same. so they talk about things like helping kids with homework and making sure they eat well. children, on the other hand, usually respond to the same question with stuff that’s literally just the definition of healthy relationships generally. affection, honesty, respect, spending time together, sharing interests. and the real kicker is, objectively, we know that’s the kind of stuff that actually has a much better impact not only on whether or not the relationship is strong and positive but also the kid’s overall happiness and psychological health.

so, if you want to write a character who’s really intent on being a Good Parent you’d have them putting massive effort into making their kid Grow Up Right, worrying about shit like if they have The Right Friends and they’re spending Enough Time Outside. but if you want to write a good relationship, just make parent and kid laugh together and respect boundaries and be emotionally supportive, like you would when writing a solid pair of friends or romantic couple.

[officialprydonchapter-deactivat]

No that was actually really helpful and I’m glad you took the time to give a serious response

[nineinchmales]

Did you know that um…. (remembers that words are very unnecessary, they can only do harm) …………

[poetrylesbian]

[sometiktoksarevalid]

[what-even-is-thiss]

I loved someone once who was disabled. I didn’t care that they were disabled. I didn’t care that if we lived together I’d probably be supporting them for the rest of their life. I didn’t care about the hospital visits. I didn’t care about their limitations. Because it was them. Because if it’s them then all that work isn’t work at all.

One of the things that ended up driving us apart in the end though is that they didn’t believe me when I told them this. They didn’t believe that I didn’t care about their disabilities. They didn’t believe that I was prepared to support them because my love turned all of that work into nothing.

As we drifted apart I learned something about myself. I can only fight to try to make someone believe that I care about them for so long. The hospital visits, the care tasks, the financial stuff, the limitations, I don’t care about. I could do that forever without a second thought. Fighting to be believed though? To have my love for someone questioned by them at every turn? I can’t do that.

It’s been a while since I drifted apart from this person I thought I’d be spending the rest of my life with so I feel like I can talk about it now and I guess I wanna suggest that maybe you should believe people sometimes when they say that they love you because your insistence that they don’t could be the thing that makes you drift apart.

[salvadorbonaparte]

my mum has severe knee problems and needs a replacement. Today she was told she's too fat to be operated on and the knee specialist suggested she gets a gastric band - which also involves surgery. So my mum was like first of all you didn't read my file because it explains that I'm not fat because I eat too much second of all you said it's impossible for me to get surgery and then suggested I get a surgery about it? He then asked her her weight and height, didn't believe her answer, and made her prove it to him because she "looks fatter than that". So she was like so you also just entirely based this on looks instead of actual numbers?

[undead-moth]

My mom went through something similar. She needed a knee replacement and her doctor wouldn’t okay it until she lost weight, which was difficult given the whole knee problem preventing her from walking thing. He told her she was too dangerous to operate on and that there were just too many risks.

My mom tried to lose weight in vain for months before she finally gave into my begging her to get a second opinion. The first doctor she saw next scheduled her for surgery the same day she met him. When my mom asked about the risk of operating on her he told her that there was some minor risks for complication and that all she would need to do to alleviate the risk was spend an extra night in the hospital so that they could keep a look out for any complications.

There were zero. There were also zero complications when she had her other knee done, her hip replaced and her gallbladder removed.

Almost like the first doctor was entirely full of shit and just trying to coerce his patient to lose weight by scaring her for fucking nothing, even when she was living day to day in excruciating pain and desperately needed a surgery.

[asteroidtroglodyte]

[shiverandqueeef]

how measurements work in canada (ie/ badly)

[redstonedust]

nobody numa numas like they used to

[redstonedust]

(wistfully) mai-ia-hee... mai-ia- hoo....

[urgetocreate]

Victo Ngai (Hong Kong/American, b.1988), The Day, 2012

[darkspaceboytoy]

Incredibly violent take of mine but I actually don’t think you need to relate to a story in any way to enjoy it. You can enjoy a story even if you can’t point at a character and insert some aspect of your personality or identity into them. In fact I would argue the need for a character like that to be present in every single story you experience is a sign of stunted growth.

[evidently-endless]

being offered ai at every turn

[mawofthemagnetar]

What do you mean “chat” is now referring to ChatGPT and not twitch chat? What? What? What the fuck? No?

When I address chat I am speaking to a presumed Greek chorus of real human people shitposting on their lunch break, not a machine that devours lakes to covert electricity into slop.

[purpurle-iris]

Imagine how many great, weird, awesome stories would exist if writers actually wrote instead of scrolling on tumblr

[katje-is-writing]

u know what i didn't come here to be attacked like this

[thestuffedalligator]

Human Is is a 1955 Philip K. Dick sci-fi short story where a guy goes to another planet for work and when he comes back to Earth his personality has flipped from an asshole to a sweet, kind, considerate man. Everyone's immediately convinced that an alien has taken over his body, this goes all the way to court, and in court his wife testifies that she's noticed no changes at all and so the charges are dropped.

And then there's a bit right at the end of the story as the wife and the husband are walking out of court:

Jill turned abruptly. "What is your name? Your real name."

The man's gray eyes flickered. He smiled a little, kind, gentle smile. "I'm afraid you would not be able to pronounce it. The sounds cannot be formed..."

Jill was silent as they walked along, deep in thought. The city lights were coming on all around them. Bright yellow spots in the gloom. "What are you thinking?" the man asked.

"I was thinking perhaps I will still call you Lester," Jill said. "If you don't mind."

"I don't mind," the man said. He put his arm around her, drawing her close to him. He gazed down tenderly as they walked through the thickening darkness, between the yellow candles of light that marked the way. "Anything you wish. Whatever will make you happy."

And I. God. There's something there. A soupcon of monsterfuckery. To tell your partner in a moment of intimacy that yes, you're something so inhuman that the lips you're stealing can't speak your actual name. You're a parasite that not only had the ability to burrow under this man's skin and take over his life, but you were so desperate to escape a dead, dry, blasted planet that you did.

And for your partner to then turn around and go "I know, I've always known, and I love you" is just. God I know it's not a great Dick story but something about it is making me lose my mind

[thestuffedalligator]

Also it's explicitly stated that the guy's consciousness is still alive and preserved on the alien planet. Jill is told this and then proceeds to defend the alien anyways, ensuring that her husband's brain is stuck in a jar on a desert planet. You love to see it

[artisimpossible]

I genuinely wonder if people realize how many projects get abandoned because the readership "wasn't there", when in reality, the readership just stayed silent. It's a big thing in trad pub that book series get discontinued because readers pirate the books or wait until the series is finished to buy a copy, leading the publisher to think that nobody actually wants the book enough to continue the series, but it happens with indie creators too.

I've discontinued a lot of free, online series because it's not worth putting 3-5 hours a week into posting a project for no readers. Sometimes I finish the series for me but just never post it again, other times I don't finish it at all because it feels more worthwhile to put my time into other things. Sometimes I hear from readers who are sad or upset that I didn't finish something they were liking, but the *reason* it never got finished is because I didn't know anyone liked it. If you like something, tell the creator, tell your friends, make some noise about it. If you would be sad if a story never finished, make that interest known because one of my biggest considerations before discontinuing a series is "will people miss this? Will I be letting people down" and 9/10 times, I come to the conclusion of "no, it doesn't even seem like anyone's reading this" only to learn after I've moved on that apparently someone was.

[healerqueen]

I've said this before in a different way, and this post said it so well. With real examples. If you like something, tell people.

If you want more content from an artist or author, if you like their stuff, tell them. It will give them creative fuel to keep going. And often it gives them other resources as well. Recommend a work to other people. Leave a comment or a review. It doesn't have to be long, just genuine, a sentence or two. Not many people know that a book's success is judged by book reviews as well as sales. Review the book on Amazon or another site to help it pass the metric of success and be recognized by publishers and retailers.

[filthyprotozoan]

astonishing how good it can feel to get some chores done sometimes. you’ll be sitting there like damn i am some type of horrid little smeagol like creature who should be crushed to death. but then you do some laundry and you’re like wrow. im actually gods most fuckable soldier.