"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me
"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself
“Pie, serves 8” yes I 8 it all
"Cake, serves 10" yes I in10d to finish it

titsay
"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
we're not kids anymore.
PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
trying on a metaphor
Sade Olutola

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YOU ARE THE REASON

Discoholic 🪩

#extradirty
The Bowery Presents
Jules of Nature

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@flagitiousbunny
"focaccia, serves 4" yes all 4 me
"tiramisu, serves 2" yes all 2 myself
“Pie, serves 8” yes I 8 it all
"Cake, serves 10" yes I in10d to finish it
god this tickles me
(OP's tiktok here)
god this tickles me
(OP's tiktok here)
hard cider was invented when someone decided to make beer that tastes good instead of bad
stupid fuckin post. People have been making beer since before they even knew how to write and you think that they don’t like the way it tastes?
damn all that time and it still tastes really bad. huge L tbh
most people watch the x files because they either want to see aliens or watch mulder and scully kiss. coincidentally the x files is a show that is well known for avoiding showing us aliens at all costs and also not letting mulder and scully kiss.
yes this is the show about aliens with the two fbi agents who are definitely in a situationship. no we're not going to show you aliens no we're not going to show you whatever the fuck is going on with mulder and scully. that's none of your business actually.
x files statistically more likely to show you aliens than to show you mulder and scully kissing. really its a testament to the importance of work/life balance when you really think about it. oh, you wanna know why mulder has the key to scully's apartment? you wanna know why scully's sleeping over at mulder's house? frankly none of your business. lets talk about those little alien costumes. are nt the little alien costumes soo sillay.
good lord this thing is useless
idk what yall are mad about the new Lies Your Older Cousin Tells You machine is working great
Happy horse on mars day
“bits to use in everyday conversations”
Ribbon dancing I was not aware of your evolution 🤯
Thinking of the larger context of LOTR and like, the fellowship swapping old war stories and shit and Sam just says “Yeah I killed a huge spider…Shelob, I think?”
And Gandalf just blinks and is like, “You what now?”
“Yeah, killed it. Had to save Frodo”
Gandalf elects not to tell Sam that he killed the spawn of a primordial demon.
the daughter of the embodiment of darkness which ate the original sun and moon and almost ate the devil.
That's not important. What is important is that it was a danger to Mister Frodo.
Time for me to info dump about Sam and Shelob.
In lord of the rings lore, there are three tiers of deities. The highest tier and most dangerous includes Morgoth - Sauron’s master, and Ungoliant, Shelob’s master. The middle tier includes Shelob, Sauron. Then there’s the lowest tier, which includes the wizards Gandalf and Saruman as well as the Balrog (this is why Gandalf couldn’t 1v1 the Balrog). It also explains why Gandalf doesn’t take the ring, the magic of a tier 2 deity would absolutely corrupt him. We even see that happen with Saruman and the Palantir.
This leads to the start of the answer to some interesting questions. Why does Sauron tolerate Shelob being in his territory, and why does Sauron tolerate there being a secret back door into Mordor?
On the surface, he does it because he might not be able to beat Shelob in a fight, after all they’re the same tier of deity. And since Shelob’s domain is the secret way into Mordor, he can’t close it off, and he seriously doubts anyone can use it to get in. He doesn’t monitor the path with guards either - Shelob would eat them.
It gets more detailed than that though. Sauron’s boss, Morgoth, and Shelob’s boss, Ungoliant, made a deal. They’d attack the tree of life together. Morgoth would drink the nectar, and Ungoliant would keep all of the jewels and magic they earned along the way. Morgoth broke this deal because there was a particularly powerful gem he wanted (the gem in Sauron’s helmet), and as a result Ungoliant went to war with Morgoth.
Ungoliant won, Morgoth barely escaped with his life.
So not only does Sauron maybe lose if he attacks Shelob. Even if he were to win, it might provoke Ungoliant into attacking Morgoth again, and Ungoliant wins that fight, she’s already done it once.
With all of that established, how the hell does Sam hurt a deity that powerful?
Well, to start, it’s impossible. Shelob’s hide is so tough Sam could never pierce it with all his might. However, Shelob had grown old and arrogant. During the fight, Sam winds up directly underneath Shelob, and Shelob decides to crush Sam with all her strength.
Unfortunately, Sam is pointing sting straight up.
While Sam lacks the strength to hurt Shelob, Shelob herself is plenty strong. She accidentally impales herself on sting, finding herself injured for the first time in thousands of years. Which is the sort of poetry I really appreciate about Tolkien’s writing.
No matter how powerful or evil or ancient or indestructible your foe, if you stand for what is right and hold your sword out, they will impale themselves upon it.
Sam’s backstory in this scene is much simpler. He has to save Frodo.
I love it when tolkien fans reblog posts with the deep lore receipts. Thank you
(via @archaeohistories over at Bluesky)
the idea that every summer will be as hot if not hotter than this for the rest of my life is unbearable i need to (remembers suicide jokes are bad for my mental health) murder an oil executive
sdxfcgvzdxfcgvhzdxfcgvhbjnkmlcgvhbjnk science
#the reason that lab safety regulations are the way they are is because literally all chemists are like this #as in 100% of them #no exceptions (via @prokopetz)
Hey, we’re in line for some absurd temperatures here in the southwest this week. This is very important to know and keep in mind. Be safe, stay hydrated, stay out of the sun as much as you can.
For my fellow Europeans south of us who are currently suffering from extreme heat. Stay safe!
I’d also like to add this
Additional you can also put them on your palms, also, make sure to always use a light towel or kitchen paper and don’t put the ice bags directly onto your skin!
some of my favorite black cat motivationals :3
I always think of the description I saw years ago: Self-imposed deadlines don't help me, because I know the person who set them, and they're full of shit.
tags by nothorses