Riddle Me This - The Flicknife Guide To Q&As
Its becoming common for distributors to put on special screenings of a film and running a Q&A session afterwards. This has two benefits; firstly it allows the directors and fans to connect, share opinions and disect theories, whilst at the same time promoting the film. Also, it means the cinema can charge an extra £8 a ticket. Everyone wins.
Now don't get me wrong, I enjoy a good directors commentary, and I am genuinely interested in the A part of a Q&A. What let's it down are the Q's, which are in the hands of the general public, who are morons. They are also predictable, and their questions always fall into the following categories.
1) The superficial or wacky question
Basically the kind of question you'd have asked The Lighthouse Family on a Going Live phone in.
i.e "If you could be any kind of hat material what would you be? Felt?"
or "Is it hard to make a film? What's the hardest part?"
This kind of question is annoying and beneath anyone who can put on a pair of trousers, so don't bother Spielberg with, yeah?
These are the second most common Q's. Here the questioner has spent every spare minute memorising the trivia section on IMDB so that at the correct moment they can deliver the following:
"At the 3rd minute of the 4th reel, Vicrum is reading a copy of the second editon of Dune, but is holding it at a 30 degree angle. Was it your decision to reference the June 4th 2007 edition of 'This Morning with Richard & Judy' in this way?"
Pity this person, for they will never find true love. Ever.
3) The "I have a theory" question
Here we go, the perennial, the Q&A favourite. Almost always asked by somebody with an amusing speech impediment, who will be a film studies student, a blogger, an art house fan or a wearer thick rimmed new media glasses. It is the most deceptive of all questions, as it is not a question at all. Instead, they are voicing their expert analysis on the film for the whole room to appreciate. It works as follows.
"The narrative in this film clearly mirrors the first 3 series of Everybody Loves Raymond, and in doing so I feel that you are both paying homage to the Dogma 93 school of direction and also holding up a mirror to society and exposing the exploitation of Mexican hotel bar staff. This is obviously continuing the blue-print set up by Scorsese, Spike Lee and McG. Yes?"
In the best possible circumstances, this is met with an awkward silence followed by a contempt filled "No" from the talent. Unfortunately, they are often being polite, and end up agreeing just so as not to embarrass the smug tosser, who will in turn be able to go home and masturbate to the sweet, sweet memory.
4) The question straight out of Empire question
Here the person asking the question fancies themselves as a bit of a journalist, but has no imagination of their own, so has simply taken a question asked in a magazine, knowing they'll get an interesting response, and look like a hero for saving the Q&A.
"You have often been accused of reusing the same themes time and time again. Do you feel this is a fair criticism? For our full review, turn to page 96, photographs by Joel McCaroll"
If you want to learn more about a directors thoughts, motives and passions, then stick to the DVD extras. If you want to hear a bunch of sweaty nerds asking stupid nerd questions in their high pitched, semi-broken nerd voices, then get yourself down to a Q&A. You'll leave feeling a lot better about yourself
