talking heads was right
i do ask myself. how did i get here
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile.

Product Placement
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occasionally subtle

roma★
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
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PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH
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@floatingbeastsage
talking heads was right
i do ask myself. how did i get here
And you may find yourself behind the wheel of a large automobile.
edit: apparently op is on tumblr! send them some love!
My younger colleagues when they see my hand-written notes
Erika Toliusis (b.1969) - Pacific Angel. 2022. Oil with palette knife on canvas.
@teaboot
Painted with a FUCKING PALETTE KNIFE?
gen ai is useless as I am also capable of drinking copious amounts of water and mindlessly validating your opinions
Same! You've got this! You're so right! *Glug Glug Glug*
I drew all the Resident Evil games in WigglyPaint
Bonus ↓
Eeeee!
my trick for "i'm worried that i won't realize what's happening rn was so important until it's too late" is to to accept that every moment in your life could be that moment. try to not live in permanent state of regret. live true to yourself rn, even if that's thinking when u can't get out of bed, "I wish I were doing anything else rn. life and being is still an exquisite miracle."
hold on, i'll do u one better
If you take me to a museum that happens to have whale bones in it please be aware that I will start identifying species by skull shape and there is nothing you can do to stop me
Only if you tell me what whales they are and give me fun facts about the sea giants.
oh I will do this without even being in a museum
some quick fun facts for you!
whales originally evolved from a kind of wolf with hooves called Pakicetus
their closest living relatives are even-toed ungulates such as hippos (unsurprising) and cows (very surprising)
baleen whales (the ones with giant hairbrush mouths) are called 'mysticeti' which translates to 'moustache whales'
the latin name for the blue whale, the largest creature to have ever lived on earth, bigger than all dinosaurs, is 'balaenoptera musculus' which translates literally to 'little mouse whale'
Southern right whales are so friendly they are surprisingly dangerous to dive with. They can't properly hug so they say hi by gently swimming by and rubbing their side against the side of their new friend. Unfortunately they are the size of a truck and 'gentle' for them is 'equivalent to being kicked by a horse' for you
the humpback whale has the longest limb on earth - its pectoral flippers can be 5 metres (16 feet) in length. The edges of these flippers are covered in sharp barnacles, essentially giving them knives for arms. You sometimes see predatory ocean-going dolphins (orca, false killer whales, pilot whales) with scars as a result of getting slashed by a humpback
humpback whales don't just use their knife-arms to defend themselves! They've been observed protecting other whale species, seals, and even people!
sperm whales are the largest toothed predators on the planet however they do not use their teeth to eat - they feed on squid by suction! the teeth are for mating rights duels and it's relatively common to see male sperm whales with broken or deformed lower jaws
whales still have hip bones! they are tiny and undeveloped and not connected to the rest of the skeleton
the bowhead whale lives in and around the arctic. its blubber (insulating fat in place of fur) can be 50cms thick and it has a special organ in its mouth to prevent this insanely thick blubber from causing it hypothermia! the organ is very sensitive to temperature, so when it opens its mouth to feed the cold arctic water flows over the organ and allows cooled-down blood to travel around the whale's body
sperm whales can control their buoyancy! they have this big ol' contraption in their huge heads called the spermaceti organ (it's white and liquid. early whalers thought it was a weird giant head testicle. this is where the name comes from) that is a very flammable wax, and blood washing over it makes it liquid while restricting blood turns it solid! this is what allows them to dive to depths of nearly two kilometres. they can hold their breath for an hour and a half
they are very cool and weird and I love them ever so much but sadly most whale species are endangered :( many of them were hunted to near-extinction for their oil, and as they reproduce similarly to humans (long pregnancies producing one baby every two-to-ten years) their population recovery rate is very slow :(
many die from getting tangled in fishing equipment, many more from ship strikes, some are starving because they're accidentally eating plastic waste that's wound up in the ocean, and most recently, human presence in the oceans is causing all sorts of noise that confuses, distresses, and even deafens them! some deep-diving whales have been found dead from the Bends, the same condition we see in human divers who surface too quickly without adjusting to the water pressure. It's painful and scary :(
you can help! buy certified dolphin-safe fish, dispose of your rubbish safely, and check out your local conservation societies! a lot of them are working to trace whale migration routes so we can reroute our shipping away from them, and others are protesting against Navy SONAR tests in the ocean
whales do a lot of work in keeping the air breathable by spreading nutrients that feed the plankton that absorbs carbon dioxide. we need to protect these weird and wonderful beasts for our own good as much as theirs!
I don’t have a lot of my own personal facts, but have you ever heard of the Loneliest Whale in the World? We’ve never actually seen them, but we have heard them speaking at 52 hertz. I now that the first time we heard them was during world war 2 I think? And since then we’ve heard other whales communicating on the same frequency. It’s very cool.
I have! We've only been hearing the 52 hertz whale since the 1980s (another fun fact: whales were thought to be completely silent until the 1960s!) and a deepening of its vocalizations to 50 hertz was recorded in 2004, tracking with a maturing animal. Based on its location and behaviour, it's now thought to be a blue-fin hybrid!
Wow! This is amazing!
Gettin the good ads again
Black Menswear modelled by Black Men
Creative Director Rock Mitchell
The dude in bright orange with the orange umbrella that looks like a peacocks tail.... FAVE
EVERYONE LOOKS SO GOOD, MY GOD
the unholy trinity of stupid sexy voices
I like you...😳
recent deathslinger pieces i did, i love him a lot
Redeem me (plz)
I hate you Ozempic craze I hate you 'heroin chic' I hate you weight loss ads on public radio I hate Burn Fat Fast ads every thirty seconds I hate you I hate you I hate you
I grew up before the term 'thigh gap' was invented I grew up before 'hip dip' was invented I was born before 'muffin top' was a thing before 'clean girl look' was a thing before 'glass skin' was a thing before razoring off peach fuzz was a thing and I'm so so so fucking tired of us inventing new concepts purely for the purpose of convincing people to hate their own bodies enough to buy products
It is a wild thing to witness in real time.
wesker x fem!reader blurb, 18+. as much as he would despise it, i think pre virus wesker would be a kiss enjoyer.
…
“fuck-“ his voice rasped. a rare flaw in his usually impeccable composure. the sound sent a shockwave straight to your pussy, clenching in response around his cock that was plunging in and out of you so fast it almost hurt. your hands raked down his back in short, hard swipes. manicured fingers, paid for by yours truly, left deep red lines in their wake that would no doubt be sore to the touch in the morning when he got dressed. S.T.A.R.S uniform brushing against his shoulder blades by 6 am sharp, pulling a wince from him occasionally throughout the day. if anyone saw, it was just a crick in his neck bothering him and not scratches from one of his agents. “i’m close,” you cried, a hand halting its marks along his skin and instead grounding itself in his hair.
you felt him lick his lips, the two of you temple to temple before he leaned back ever so slightly, allowing a rare moment of tenderness between the two of you. eyes locked, breaths mingling, noses brushing…it was so much and so new. wesker was a passionate lover, but never intimate. he approached sex like every other part of his life and viewed it as something to excel in, something to dominate. the RPD captain never left your apartment without leaving you with wet sheets and a sore pussy. any orgasms you had with him were always real, you never had to fake it. even if you did, he seemed like the type to sniff it out immediately. but luckily, that wasn’t his style.
“then cum for me,” the untitled ownership in the words, ‘for me’ had your eyes glazing over and your jaw going slack. you caught his eyes flickering to your lips for a brief second before looking up again, brows furrowed in concentration as he observed you. catching you off guard, he suddenly leaned down and caught your lower lip in a bruising kiss, your cupids bows both slick with one another in seconds. his tongue brushed against yours, the wet muscle bringing a flush to your cheeks as you swore you could taste the tooth aching sweetness of affection. an emotion unnamed poured into your mouth, wesker’s breathing hitching as big hands came to scoop the backs of your knees upwards. a surprised noise came from you, one he greedily drank as he changed his pace. harder. deeper. slower. tilting his pelvis to arch the tip of his cock right into the spongy part of your cunt. the change was so precise it made you clench, a precursor to the shockwave building in your spine.
a lewd squelching could be heard between you as your pussy clung to him, gushing so hard you were sure his abdomen was glistening. a warbled mix of syllables left you, but there was a prominent, “captain!” in there somewhere, one he caught. he broke the kiss to grin wickedly against your teeth, enjoying the way you were on the brink of unconsciousness. hips relentless, you felt him chase his own high through yours, pace quickening once he was sure you were past your peak. your head bouncing on the pillow wasn’t enough to deter your eyes from his. baby blues so striking they made you want to cum again. he squeezed them shut before exhaling shakily, trying his best to look you in the eyes. something overcame you, an urge to anchor his unspoken admiration to you. you could see it, taste it, you wanted to feel it.
shyly reaching up, he let you cradle his face as his hips changed rhythm, opting to lean in a way that allowed him to prop a leg against his shoulder and the other around his hip. the new angle had you gritting your teeth in overstimulation, but you dare not say a thing. you wanted him to take what he needed, to take you. and take you he did.
a grimace, before his head dropped to your chest, back freezing up as he groaned so deep you were sure it hurt his throat. cock shooting ribbons of cum inside you, so much so that you felt it cream in a ring around his base as he pulsed an inch or two out mid orgasm. you felt the instant heat, warmth of him pressing against the wall of your abdomen. his breaths came out in huffs, your hands trying to your best to soothe him, going from the flesh of his back to his neck to his cheek to start all over.
you’d never tell him, but you caught the way he tried to hide a whine as he gently pulled himself free of you. fluids sticking to each other like glue. half expecting him to get up and clean himself off, he caught you by surprise when an arm came to hook around your far shoulder and pull you into his chest. the two of you were disgusting. sweaty, sticky, panting, but neither of you cared. wesker’s brain was rattling with the thoughts of umbrella, the idea of mercy bouncing around in his skull as he tried to think of a way to spare you when the time came.
and it would come soon.
he’d deal with it later. he couldn’t think straight with the way your head nuzzled into him. something beyond mercy was prickling at his psyche, turning something analytical into affection. he hated how much he loved it. you had chemically rearranged his brain, molding yourself to his life, and he would take you with him now anywhere. that he knew.
that he could think about.
Tbh, I'm always surprised when I'm all 😳😳😳 about Wesker, but DAMN 😳😳😳😳😳😳😳.
Some heisenberg doodles :D
His expression on the right.
I didn’t know fondue was a thing outside USA—stupid but i thought it was like, fake cheese that we would melt to dip tiny weenies in. Looked it up and found out it’s Swiss—so probably more people than I realized enjoy it! I would love to try a fondue of local cheese, but that’s not easy to come by where i live. Enjoy yours!
I'm sorry but I am so morally disoriented by the concept of 'fake cheese' that I have trouble focusing on any other aspect of your message. What is fake cheese?? You say that like it's a perfectly understandable and emotionally neutral combination of words. I feel like I've just been handed a koan.
Then you add the phrase “tiny weenies" like it's the logical next step rather than a new psychological event. From my (very French) perspective the sentence "fake cheese to dip tiny weenies in" sounds like such a unique cultural artefact in itself, like a linguistic diorama to be displayed in a vitrine. This is not meant as a negative judgment of you or your country! just my earnest ethnographic confusion as I try to grapple with the concept of "tiny weenies" from a place of "fake cheese" trauma...
I had no idea fondue was seen this way in the US—I thought we (as a species) had a collective working definition of it, a sort of global consensus like the commutative property of addition, so the idea that in some corners of the world "fondue" means “fake cheese to dip tiny weenies in” has made me remember that you can just flay language off reality like skin. There's also a non-zero chance for this phrase to have activated a sleeper agent in Lausanne and authorised targeted elimination under the Académie Française’s emergency powers.
The concept of fondue now feels violently theoretical but I wish you many delicious ones in the future though :) You have politely disintegrated a couple of foundational concepts I'd never realised I relied on, which is always enriching. I won't recover, but thank you for sending this!
The world is so amazing and horrifying, and we never really know what we think we know.