a sad little scorpio

Carli Ann - 30 just trying to feel something

[timbllr]

[renaissance-art]

[malaesthetics]

[theweirdwideweb]

[halfdamage]

JULIEN BAKER BOYGENIUS: DEBUT ALBUM, COACHELLA & FRIENDSHIP

[icaseybaybee]

[piink--maggit]

[velvetbriar]

[lustingupon]

[floral-vision]

i no longer audition for love.

it has all been for this moment.

all the mourning, the pain, the processing, the growth.

i've closed so many chapters with love.

i dove deep into my subconscious and pulled out the old wiring that kept different versions of me safe, protected, small.

i hold each version of myself with such love and such grief.

now i can show myself radical acceptance, embracing the parts i kept small. kept hidden. kept quiet.

i am free. and i no longer audition for love.

[shepaintedherdreamswiththestars]

[remanence-of-love]

[butchfever]

[floral-vision]

they warn of wearing obsidian, as it reveals true intent.

i've experienced upheaval and i've experienced connection since.

the time has come to make my dream reality - i am moving to chicago.

there is no family holding me here,

there are no missing pieces to my friend group,

there is no more room for growth at my job,

and there is peace in my home, finally finding safety in solitude.

i have completed the cycles. i have grown out of my spaces. i am 30, and it is time to explore again. to find joy again, to be curious again. i have been so jaded and miserable since i lost my job - it has become clear that i must begin the next chapter. i have been begging for signs, but i have not been ready. not ready for a partner, not ready to move.

i am ready now. and it feels real.

[delbaar]

[5ner]

[letsbelonelytogetherr]

— octobersfilm on substack (via letsbelonelytogetherr)