it hurts until it doesn't

23 | uk

[yorickish-deactivated20240226]

they should make a kind of person who you can hurt and kill and it doesn't matter

[max1461]

oh they do its called the Other

[simplydm]

Hate when I’m smiling giggling at a video and then an ad plays. suddenly I have to lock in and frown so the ad knows I would never smile for it. Making me look like a fool in front of my beautiful princess (funny video)

[redstonedust]

that one friend that got trapped in the time loop and is soooooooooo annoying about it. you tell them a childhood fact and theyre like "you already told me that in the time loop" 🙄 okay sorry i dont remember that? stop flexing your knoweldge of reset timelines dude, its unfair. my mom doesnt even know your name and you're mournfully talking about how the taste of her home cooking reminds you of the time you watched us all die at the dinner table. its fucking weird. nobody wants to hear that while they're eating macaroni dude. cmon. you spent like 10 years in that timeloop arent you like mentally 40 now. 😑😑😑 grow up.

[oneheadtoanother]

are you lost little boy

[oneheadtoanother]

This is so much funnier than my caption, dammit

[hbbisenieks]

normal people in SF are fucking sick of every billboard being for AI slop

[error-404-fuck-not-found]

takes a real artist to go "i have to deface this billboard promoting an evil corporation's evil product. but crucially☝️the typeface and kerning must match or else it's cringe"

[mystgourmet-deactivated20200102]

[anythings-a-sweet-if-you-eat-it]

boring take from real 21st century idiots: bdsm is bad because it's basically torture

interesting take from a fictional 14th century monk: torture is bad because it's basically sex

[junk-thunder]

me: ok ok sorry, i promise i'll stop coming up with weird euphemisms for hitting the weed pen

me 5 minutes later: yall mind if i go ruin christmas?

[fartnoise2002]

[lostfunzones]

Robert Mapplethorpe / Patti Smith. c. 1973.

[important-cat-pics]

[ishowdespair-deactivated2026012]

[himynameisemail]

[historicaltimes]

Preacher on an English nudist beach / England, 1974

via reddit

[charnel-grounds]

Bela Lugosi in Dracula (1931)

[2022dirt]

Leaves creating perfect circles in the snow from the wind.

[hidefdoritos]

My roommate and I have been doing an improv bit lately where you introduce yourself as Firstname Object, then state your purpose as something entirely unrelated.

[hidefdoritos]

Her, peeking into my room: H-hello? Hi, I'm Veronica Harmonica. My pet bear got loose, and I just can't find her anywhere. I'm s-so worried.

Me, rapidly adjusting my face like an ill-fitting mask: Yep, nope! No bears around these parts! Have not seen a bear alllllllll day.

[hidefdoritos]

Me, in a slow, dry British accent: Hello everyone. My name is Henry Horseshoes. [deep sigh] Rule number one of our hang-gliding experience is to always do exactly as I say.

Her, raising hand: What if--

Me, pointedly droning on: Rule number two. Never, ever question Henry Horseshoes. If you haven't the discipline to restrain your curiosity, you haven't any business hang-gliding in the first place.

[hidefdoritos]

Me, dancing into the kitchen first thing in the morning: What is up everybodayyy! My name is Brady Beanbag, and I am here! to! teach! you! ZUMBAAAAAAAA!

Her, barely conscious, gripping her tea mug: ....................................... I want a refund.

[romanceyourdemons]

funniest moment in moby dick is when they meet another captain who lost a limb to the white whale and ahab goes like “and dost thy blood not boil, aye, and the very marrow of thy bones too, to know that the wretched creature and very devil of the sea that harmed us both still draws breath??” and the ship captain is like no i’m fine, it wasn’t the whale’s fault or anything. i mean imagine actually holding a grudge against a fish lmao that’s actually the funniest thing i’ve ever heard and ahab goes you don’t know what the FUCK you’re talking about. and stamps his foot so hard he breaks his ivory leg