ain't it fun

[wellyfullofale]

I think next thursday is gonna be the best day of my entire life tbh

[thequeenofsunflowers-deactivate]

reblog for next thursday to be the best day of your life

[sstudyblr]

not risking it

[e-hoe]

this is so funny

[gaypussyretard]

(for context)

[23informent]

Yeah, if I was an Uber driver, I sure as shit wouldn’t be picking up any demons of Slaanesh and letting them into my vehicle.

[2460onetruepairing]

Clive Barker’s Drag Race.

[panini-deaky-blog]

My cats weird obsession with Ringo Starr

So recently my cat has become infatuated with a picture of Ringo Starr I have hanging up in my room

He only ever does this with ringo, not George, the only other picture he can reach, I thought maybe he actually liked Paul or maybe it was just the frame so I conducted an experiment

I decided to try out some different pics of the Beatles together and he still seemed to prefer ringo over the other three

I then tried out individual photos to see which he preferred and he stuck by ringo every time

Finally I tested a picture of the band from a different era where they looked different, at least to a cat, and he still preferred Ringo, thus telling me that my cat has a thing for Ringo Starr

[rakarchive-deactivated20191109]

once in elementary school i got a D on a test and i legitimately thought my parents were going to kill me so at recess we had a funeral and my friends picked me flowers and pieces of grass and let them blow away in the wind it was very dramatic i cried

[notreewaits-deactivated20200806]

Toddlers are so pure. She doesn’t understand that we help her with certain things because she’s little. She thinks that everyone just helps each other like that. So she tries to blow on my food and cut it up for me and tries to help me put on my shoes.

[pussysoupforthesoul-deactivated]

i was giving little wagon rides to a baby around the backyard one day and all of a sudden she hops off and slaps the seat of the wagon telling me to get on because it was my turn and i was like no it’s ok im too heavy and she was like NO ITS UR TURN and kept tugging on my hand so i would sit down. eventually i got on and it was just a little 2 year old trying so hard to push me around on a wagon not understanding why it wouldn’t budge but still so determined to let me have my turn lol

[llywela13]

I don’t think I’d realised how many casual compliments we pay to our toddler until she started casually complimenting us back, because experience has taught her that’s How Social Interaction Is Done, and there’s nothing quite like a very earnest three-year-old solemnly and sincerely informing you that you look wonderful and smell nice to make you feel really good about yourself

I tell her she’s my best girl. She tells me I’m her best auntie. Then we both feel good about the world!

[itslarsyouguys]

I love when my toddler asks me to help her with her toy or something and she is all “good job, mama! Great work!” And encouraging because that’s what you do!

[tschaikovsky]

[barelyup]

Oh my god ❤️

[lilbluemoo]

Absolutely love this

[caffeinatedlanddetective]

Wow.

Please watch this. 

[doeing]

i was a little apprehensive to watch this because it’s four minutes long and i have a short attention span, but within the first 30 seconds i was hooked.

watch this. please, you won’t regret it.

[badjokesbyjeff]

A Mexican man who spoke no English went into a department store to buy socks.

He found his way to the menswear department where a young lady offered to help him.

“Quiero calcetines,” said the man.

“I don’t speak Spanish, but we have some very nice suits over here,” said the salesgirl.

“No, no quiero trajes. Quiero calcetines,” said the man.

“Well, these shirts are on sale this week,” declared the salesgirl.

“No, no quiero camisas. Quiero calcetines,” repeated the man.

“I still don’t know what you’re trying to say. We have some fine pants on this rack,” offered the salesgirl.

“No, no quiero pantalones. Quiero calcetines,” insisted the man.

“These sweaters are top quality,” the salesgirl probed.

“No, no quiero sueter. Quiero calcetines,” said the man.

“Our undershirts are over here,” fumbled the salesgirl, beginning to lose patience.

“No, no quiero camisetas. Quiero calcetines,” the man repeated.

As they passed the underwear counter, the man spotted a display of socks and happily grabbed a pair. Holding them up he proclaimed, “Eso sí que es!”

“Why didn’t you just spell it in the first place?!” yelled the salesgirl.

[angel-withheart]

okay, this is funny

[gallicinvasion]

what she says: “Oh I don’t mind; we can eat anywhere. I’m not picky.”

what she means: “For my entire life, I’ve been called bossy/picky/selfish/arrogant/bitchy for voicing my own opinions and making my views known, so now when someone I care about asks me about what I want, my immediate gut reaction is to defer to the other person’s preference. it’s less of a hassle to capitulate to someone else’s desires than to risk having someone verbally berate me for being truthful about what I want.”

[naturallyalix]

SCREAM THIS FROM THE MOUNTAIN TOP

[seriousjones]

no offense I haven’t heard a girl talk at length about pumpkin spice anything in years and I can’t remember the last time I went six hours without hearing a grown man making fun of how obsessed girls are with pumpkin spice lattes

[imoldbutimstillintothat]

Grown men are obsessed with making fun of girls so they don’t have to think of their own numerous and pathetic flaws.

[darkmoron]

Walk up to a man and say you don’t like bacon and wait for the reaction

[chazkuangshi]

“I’ve NEVER. Eaten a DONUT. In my ENTIRE LIFE. And I’m NOT. About to start NOW.”

-Crazy customer I had today, upon being offered a complimentary donut

[ephemeral-lightning]

Why is this a real thing that happened in the real world what’s the meaning of this

[chazkuangshi]

I’m just gonna copy paste the story here from discord because honestly the whole story is worth hearing

so lady comes through drive thru. “Hi what can I get for you?” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese.” “A sesame bagel with extra cream cheese, sure no problem, can I get you anything else today?” “No” “Alright, you can pull up” and I just hear this quiet disgrunted “ ‘Please’ ?” I’m like uhhhhh, was that even directed at me, I don’t know, I don’t know how to respond to that so I just ignore it like I didn’t hear it. I go up to the window and see this woman, which she honestly looked like a tomato with messy gray hair. Before I have the window halfway open I see her roll her eyes at me so I’m like oh boy here we go, time to put on the stupid sweet customer voice “Hi how are you today?” She hands me the money for her bagel and goes “Just a tip. It’s ‘Please pull up to the window.’ not ‘pull up.’ I found that incredibly rude.” I go “I’m sorry about that, I didn’t intend for that to be rude, I just meant that it was okay to pull up to the window now.” “I know what you meant. But it was rude.” “Well, I apologize. Here’s your bagel, have a great day.” She goes “I’m a MYSTERY SHOPPER.” (If you don’t have Mystery shoppers where you are, it’s kind of like undercover boss where the store owner hires someone through the Mystery shopper program and they place a regular order just to make sure people are following policy) I’m like “… ok” So I’m about to tell my boss and coworker what just happened when she comes in. And I jump to the front counter because no way I’m letting her talk to my boss before I do. “Hi, can I help you?” “Yes. This bagel was supposed to be NOT toasted. You toasted it.” “Ohh, I’m so sorry about that! I didn’t hear that. I’ll make you a new one right now.” Coworker beats me to the bagel and I say “A little extra cream cheese on that.” She looks at my boss “She just said a LITTLE cream cheese. I wanted EXTRA cream cheese.” Boss goes “Oh, she said a little extra cream cheese.” “Oh” Boss goes into kiss ass mode as well and says, “I’m sorry about the mistake, would you like a donut?” Lady goes “I’ve never. Eaten a donut. In my ENTIRE LIFE. and I’m NOT. About to start NOW.” Boss is like “… ok” and we’re all internally going sdhakgsdgkja?

So we get the bagel out and she says to my boss “And I have one more thing to say.” She leans in with a sneer. “Mystery shopper.” boss goes “We don’t do that here.” “yea you do.” “No we don’t.” “yea you do.” “Have a good day.”

Basically we’re pretty sure the lady was crazy and she was absolutely lying because Mystery shoppers are not allowed to tell you that they’re mystery shoppers, and they aren’t allowed to coach you. And even if she was, “please” is not one of the things they look for. They look for a Greeting, whether or not you repeated the order and the price back, and whether or not you upsold. We haven’t participated in the program in over 7 years.

[lizardvvizard]

[cornrowe-deactivated20190502]

[whitepeopletwitter]

[bogleech]

Many people know that vaccines were linked to autism by a fraud and con artist who just wanted to sell his own alternative vaccines. What a lot of people DON’T know is that he had no reason to choose autism for this scam except that it had JUST started entering mainstream consciousness and was still barely understood by most people. He took advantage of ignorance and confusion already surrounding a hype train and it could have been anything but it happened to be Autism at that particular time. That’s how fucking meaningless the connection is.

[logarto]

u know when something wont send for ages and ages but when it finally sends it goes 40 times. thanks for nothing technology you bastard.

[logarto]

[rabioheab-deactivated20200416]

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that

[saltrat88]

“You’re not my Dad!”

Hahahahaha

[norseminuteman]

“I’m in a tank and your not” is probably the best argument ever.

[throwbackblr]

[ruinedchildhood]