breakaway

hi there! Welcome to my blog!

[flowrrs4u]

I am good. I am loved.

[flyingdeadleaf]

I hope. But I am not.

I make mistakes.

Nobody likes someone who makes mistakes.

Im a screw up.

Help.

[flyingdeadleaf]

Unending Puzzle

Life is an unending puzzle

Sometimes you complete the picture

Sometimes you feel like somethings missing.

There are days where you can figure out how exactly its done

And there are days where its just a complete mystery

There are days you'll get frustrated

And days you get elated.

Life is an unending puzzle.

You gotta keep going to see the whole picture.

Dont stop. Keep going.

K, On.

1230H

Sept. 18 2024

[flyingdeadleaf]

“To the living, I am gone,

To the sorrowful, I will never return,

To the angry, I was cheated,

But to the happy, I am at peace,

And to the faithful, I have never left.

I cannot speak, but I can listen.

I cannot be seen, but I can be heard.

So as you stand upon a shore gazing at a beautiful sea,

As you look upon a flower and admire its simplicity,

Remember me.

Remember me in your heart:

Your thoughts, and your memories,

Of the times we loved,

The times we cried,

The times we fought,

The times we laughed.

For if you always think of me, I will never have gone.”

~Margaret Mead

[flyingdeadleaf]

Getting tired of life.

Almost tired of living. 💔

[flyingdeadleaf]

I long for the day

Where we dont have to hide anymore

I long for the day

When we dont have to pretend

I long for the day

When your whole family accepts me

I long for the day

When Im no longer the person who you just live with

I long for the day

When Im not introduced as a "friend"

I long for the day

The coming out day...

Imagine that day.

Oh it will be a nice day.

November 11, 2023

Kitchener, On

0112H

[flyingdeadleaf]

Im trying to be a good person

But if thats what you think of me

So be it.

I wont reason anymore.

I told you what I felt before because I dont like the feeling.

I thought you understood.

I was wrong.

Or maybe youre right.

Maybe Im just a horrible person.

9.9.2023

K, on.

[flyingdeadleaf]

Im still not mean to stay in one place with clipped wings.

Wondering when will be the day I go from places to places

Never stopping. Never afraid. Never second guessing.

Someday soon.

[flyingdeadleaf]

When I die, people will remember the memories

But there will be nothing to look back to.

No pictures. No videos.

I seldom appear in those.

Because Im always behind the camera.

When I die, what they will have are pictures of them.

Without me. And thats okay.

[flyingdeadleaf]

[flyingdeadleaf]

[flyingdeadleaf]

Feb 28, 2023

0935H. Kitchener, On

Im getting tired of hiding.

Im getting tired of being hidden.

Im getting tired of pleasing everyone.

Im getting tired of trying so hard to get approval.

Im tired. Just tired. 💔

[flyingdeadleaf]

I dont like the person I am becoming...

And I dont know how to stop it.

I dont know how to stop the monster from growing

Its eating me from inside out.

[flyingdeadleaf]

Lately

Lately Ive been wondrin'

How life is meant to be lived

Is it one day at a time

Or one step forward?

Lately Ive been wondrin'

Looking up the night sky thinking

If stars were meant to shine and live

Or burn and die?

Lately, Ive been wondrin'

Lately, Ive been thinkin'

Is life a complexity we dont understand

Or is it just a paper we need to spend?

Lately, Ive been noticin'

Days has been longer than nights

Does it mean better days?

Or is it the calm before the storm?

Lately wondering, thinking and noticing

Life in all aspects and in all forms

Do we have the power to manipulate

The things that are meant to happen?

Lately, Ive not been sure.

Lately, its just deep thinking.

-flyingdeadleaf

9:42 am

May 10, 2022

Kitchener, On

[flyingdeadleaf]

Year End

This year was a cocktail of happiness and sadness

Couple of success and failures

Anxiety, sleepless nights

Tears and happy smiles

Haunting disappointments

Nightly flashbacks

Smiling masks

Broken shards

New beginnings

Blissful triumphs

Sweet reunions

Happy unions

You see, life is a cocktail of both

Sour and sweet things

Sometimes you'll have more

And sometimes none

But life wont stop for you.

Whether you have it sweet or sour or even bitter

It wont stop. But thats the good thing about it.

It wont stop, it will just go on. And so are the bad things.

It wont stop but it will go away, maybe not now.

But eventually.

Thank you and goodbye, 2021.

Here we go, 2022.

3:12 pm

December 31, 2021

Waterloo, Ontario.

[flyingdeadleaf]

Mentally exhausted of being petty.

[flyingdeadleaf]

Lord, when Im tired, please remind me why I need to keep going.

[flyingdeadleaf]

Midnight Thoughts

Silent wolves

Scratching hooves

Night is dim

Hiding grim

Light comes near

Vanish fear

Thoughts breakthrough

Hug from you

-Flyingdeadleaf

12:08am

February 9, 2021

Kitchener, Ontario