limitless

MAIN VOCALIST OF DECIPHER "Truth is everybody is going to hurt you; you just gotta find the ones worth suffering for." - BM

[fmddonghae-blog]

fmdjaewon:

“samsoo,” the response of his boyfriend’s name falling from his lips instantaneously, as if the mention of the main vocalist somehow registered first in his mind, subconsciously prioritizing it. “the short one, his name is samsoo and you’re right, he wouldn’t consider it a burden to help me out,” jaewon knew samsoo would never deny him anything. “but i would prefer not bothering him with it nonetheless, so yeah, i came to you.” nodding lightly as he did. “i’m not expecting you to work miracles either, i just want to feel more comfortable singing the lines dimensions gives me.” the admittance of the lack of confidence about his singing came with an incredible amount of reluctance, after all jaewon wasn’t one to openly admit to his insecurities, especially not to strangers. “whenever suits you, we just wrapped up two months of promotions so unity will probably be on a backburner for a while, i got time.”

“that’s what i said, the short one.” jaewon knew who he was referring to, so did it really matter if he knew his name or not? he didn’t think so. he would learn it eventually, he knew he would. it took him a while to learn his juniors’ names because there were so many of them, especially the juniors who weren’t under bc entertainment because he didn’t see them all that often hanging around bc’s headquarters. “so you wanted to bother me with it instead of someone that would have more than likely been happy to help you out, is that what you’re trying to tell me?” he wasn’t seriously upset by his decision, just a little curious. the chances that donghae could have laughed in his face and told him to get lost, like a lot of seniors in the idol industry would have, were a little high. he was lucky donghae wasn’t like that. “i can help you with that, no problem. why don’t you sing one of the lines that dimensions has given you recently. you sang during your last comeback, didn’t you?” 

[fmddonghae-blog]

sungnam:

sungnam did his best to keep up with everything that donghae did. he wanted to support his big brother after all. however, sometimes it got difficult to keep up with donghae while also focusing on his own career. despite the fact that decipher didn’t promote as much as younger groups did it always seemed like donghae had something to keep him busy. sungnam almost envied him in some ways it felt like mars was only pulled out of the basement every so often. and sungnam had never really been a go get ‘em type of person the only time he had really ever fought for a solo opportunity was when show me the money 6 had come around. which meant sungnam generally didn’t do anything if mars wasn’t doing something.

he had to remind himself to take another bite of his food just rearranging his constantly would only make donghae worry and sungnam had already made donghae worry enough to last a lifetime. plus he could feel donghae’s eyes on him so he knew that his brother was already watching him.

sungnam made a little face. “i know that. i pre-ordered one of the albums.” he said. granted he could’ve probably gotten one through donghae but sungnam always preferred to actually buy it himself. “i meant did anything interesting happen so far?” now that mars was on vacation it was a lot easier to keep up with donghae – trying to coordinate when they both were promoting was nearly impossible. “don’t worry i’ve been resting up. i almost want something else to do at this point.” his expression morphed into a smile when donghae said he missed him. “i missed you too. and don’t make fun of me it’s been at least a couple of weeks.”

“oh you did? thanks for the support,” he said jokingly, as though he didn’t think that sungnam would have supported him automatically. the three of them involved in the idol industry always supported one another, although it seemed as though their sister hadn’t really been all that active musically in the past year or so. “i hope you give your sister the same energy when they finally release something new.” he had to admit that it was kind of weird not having her come out with anything. her group always released something during the summer months. it had been a little empty without her. “besides music shows and a few interviews? not really. it’s been a little boring, actually.” he paused. “oh, a fan gave me a gift at a fansign event.. it was her underwear. that’s not really exciting, but it’s a little interesting.” he smiled at his brother, happy that he was finally able to spend time with him. “i can give you something to do. you can be my personal assistant during our promotional season,” he suggested, grinning at him. “i wouldn’t make fun of you.. Okay, maybe I would a little bit, but it’s all out of love.”

[fmddonghae-blog]

hanbit:

        hanbit would never turn down an offer of ramen, that was for sure. especially right now, when he felt like he needed food the most. plus, it almost seemed like late night ramen tasted even better than eating it at a rather normal time like a normal person would. hanbit slipped a hoodie over himself, before making sure to grab all of his stuff, not leaving anything behind. he nodded his head, “i’m ready to go! i’ve got everything, don’t worry, hyung.”

donghae knew that if there was one way to get through to hanbit, it was with food. he had long since memorized what the younger’s favorite foods were. he had even gone so far as to learn how to cook them to fit hanbit’s preferences. “alright, good. we can go then. we can get manager-nim to let us use one of the cars that we drove here in if you’d like. do you want to have him drive us back, or do you want to catch a train back?” it would take a little bit longer, but he wouldn’t really mind the wait.”

[fmddonghae-blog]

blue:

      FRIENDSHIPS COME & GO —- with donghae, he came & went & came back. when minwoo was only a lost boy working ridiculous hours with grease as a staple accessory, he dated an idol who was part of DECIPHER. due to his relationship with taesung, he was able to meet & befriend other members of the groups such as donghae. close he was with the opposite male, but once he & taesung broke up in a despicable manner, no longer did he wish to contact any other idols due to constructing a generalization of selfishness to all. none of the DECIPHER members, as well, bothered to contact him; therefore, all friendships were lost. donghae, however, came back to his life when the two ran into one another at an event once blue did become a trainee under dimensions. now, the two apologized, & they have returned to their state of friendship. these two became friends before blue even considered talking to taesung again. “only an eight ??” blue challenged with an exaggerated gasp, a hand against his chest in feigned hurt. a chuckle, though, fell forth once he dropped the act. “this is the only motivation i had to winning,” he began as he set forth to saunter toward the array of food available at the festival. “i knew if i won, someone would treat me with a meal.” a wink in humor as he glanced over to his sunbaenim. 

Donghae had known Blue back before he was Blue - when he was known as just Minwoo, a skinny little boy who always smelled like french fries when he came over to hang out with Taesung and the rest of Decipher. At first, he had been a little hesitant to accept him so openly. He was just a kid - how could Taesung trust him not to air any of Decipher’s private lives to the public? But in time, Blue had proven to be trustworthy, and that was all that really mattered in the end, was it not? That was years ago, and a lot had changed since then, although then again, a lot hadn’t changed. Blue was still the same, short, mousy boy Donghae had met all those years ago. Of course he had grown into his features a lot more. His, as the young people would say, “glo’ up” had been good to him. He was still as nice and sweet as he was back then too. Because of that, Donghae still saw him as little Minwoo, and he most likely always would see him in that way. “I would’ve given you an eight-point-five, but you made me stand out here in this heat to watch you play, so I deducted a half point,” he teased, rolling his eyes at the exaggerated hurt on his face. “I’m sure even if you lost, someone would have eventually treated you to a meal. All you’d have to do is ask.”

[fmddonghae-blog]

allen:

“I’m sorry, hyung.” Allen sighed, watching Donghae take the beer away. “Bad habit, I guess. Something else would be really nice.” Even though they’d been friends for years, a small part of Allen’s hero worship-like admiration for Decipher’s main vocalist had never quite faded; the same small part that demanded that he keep up with the older man in order to impress him. It was stupid and he knew that what mattered to his friend wasn’t whether he drank beer with him or not but actions that spoke louder. Admitting that, however, wasn’t something he was about to do.

He accepted the juice with a “thanks, hyung”, shuffled a bit on the sofa and changing positions until he had his knees pulled up to his chest. It probably made him look even more like a child than his facial features already did, but it was more comfortable. “True, I’m sorry I haven’t had the chance to invite you over yet! It’s not too big, though that’s okay, now that I’m only living with Yu and Xue.” His hamsters might have a big cage, but it wasn’t like the place they took up would’ve been needed otherwise. It didn’t compare to living with two other grown men. “I found something in Sinchon, so still in the city, yeah,” he continued. “I got lucky that they didn’t mind the hamsters. And the subway station is maybe five minutes by foot.” It wasn’t like he could’ve asked for much more. 

Allen caught himself mirroring Donghae’s smile. “I can’t expect you to do all the work all the time,” he retorted, sipping his juice a lot more happily than the beer from before. “The spotlight’s a lonely place to be if you have it all to yourself,” he added a bit more meekly. That was probably the main reason a solo career would scare the living heck out of him – there was nowhere to hide, no immediate support. Of course he strived for perfection on stage, everyone in the industry did. But being at least partially hidden in a group or amongst the cast of a production was something he was a lot more comfortable with. He didn’t remember much of his performances as a violinist, only that the stress had ultimately made him so sick he’d had to stop and that was something he didn’t want to repeat itself.

“Please, you’re giving me far too much credit!” Allen set his glass of juice down on the ground, curling up tighter in order to mask how flustered he was at the praise. Taking compliments for what he did on stage was one thing, hearing he was smart from one of his idols was something else. He wished he could stop grinning like a happy child. It was comforting to know that Donghae had gone through similar doubts and fears and still come out on top; believed that he could do so, too. “I’m still really grateful that we started talking. Not quite sure I’d have the courage to do it if it weren’t for your guidance.” 

“Well.” He sighed. “Nothing left to do but continue giving our all.” There were few groups that managed a successful comeback after the military he knew of and when the time came, he’d have to come to terms with the end of this career. He’d rather do it knowing that he had no regrets.

“Really, anything! The details, anything you want to tell me, hyung!” Allen grinned, back to his sunny smiles. “What about your favourite moment of the night?”

He waved off his apology dismissively. It wasn’t like he really minded doing the extra work to make Allen comfortable or get him something that he would enjoy versus the beer he had given him in the first place. He was more or less extremely used to having to take care of other people and dote on them. It had been something he’d done ever since he was younger. He was an older brother to so many people - three siblings, three of his group mates, a large chunk of his hoobaenims. He saw it as his job to make sure they were all comfortable and well taken care of, Allen included. And if getting him something else to drink would make him feel better, than Donghae would do it without complaint. 

The fact that Allen idolized him so much didn’t exactly make Donghae less willing to do things for him either. When the two of them had first met, he had been touched and honored by how much Allen had looked up to him. He had even followed his musical theatre career, which many of Decipher’s fans hadn’t bothered to do. They were only interested, for the most part, in Decipher’s music and his work on dramas. That wasn’t exactly a bad thing, but there was so much more to Donghae than what was just on the surface, and the sooner that people realized that, the happier Donghae would be. “You’re welcome.” He nodded his head at the verbalized gratitude as he sat back down on his couch. He just barely repressed the laughter that bubbled up in his chest when the younger male pulled his legs up on the couch. The ahjussi in him made his eyes flicker down to the other’s feet, making sure he had taken off his shoes before placing his feet on his sofa. 

“You don’t need to apologize. I know that you’ve been busy with things. Origin’s not exactly an inactive group, you have a lot on your plate.” Donghae could remember when Decipher were at the peak of their career. They had at least two comebacks a year, if not more, and they were touring around the world at least once a year for several years straight. There was a part of him that missed things like that. He missed the fast pace of the idol lifestyle. The larger part of him was happy that he wasn’t in the midst of that anymore. He could finally breathe. He could sympathize and empathize with Allen. “Do you really think your manager or Gold Star are going to let you travel in the subway?” His group was too big for him to take public transportation and risk being mobbed. 

He pursed his lips at his words, his eyes studying the younger’s face. “It’s not me doing all the work, it’s me helping you get your foot int he door.” He didn’t think there was anything wrong with helping his junior get better acquainted with other people in the industry, especially if that would benefit his career in the future. “Sometimes you have to be lonely in order to grow and stand on your own two feet. Being in a group, which the benefits outweigh the cons, does force you to be complacent with depending on other people to always be there for you. And I don’t want to be the asshole who shatters that for you, but you can’t depend on anyone to always be there for you, Allen. You have to learn how to be on your own, because if you’re ever on your own for real one day, you won’t know how to deal with it.” That was why he had taken up so many acting opportunities as he had in the past. 

“Giving you too much credit? I’m only speaking the truth.” Donghae wasn’t stupid, he was actually quite smart. Smart enough to know that someone else was smarter than he was. He couldn’t help but be amused by the wide smile on the other’s face. It was almost like those smiles given to him by female fans when he told them they were pretty. It was cute, to say the least. The younger male reminded him of his younger brother in some ways. Or maybe he just reminded him of Sungnam because of how fond he was of the both of them. “I’m grateful that we started talking too. My guidance? Well, I’m glad that I could help guide you in the right direction. Always happy to help one of my favorite people.”

It was something that every male citizen in the country had to go through, or would have to go through, and a large number of them wouldn’t want to do that. He knew that Allen had his own military service waiting for him back in Taiwan. He wasn’t sure how their system worked there, but he knew it could be just as bad or even worse than South Korea’s. “My favorite moment from that night?” His gaze flickered toward the wall, trying to recall the events from the final show of Amadeus. “The curtain call. There’s nothing better than standing out on stage after giving your all and having people clap and cheer for you.”

[fmddonghae-blog]

sungnam:

sungnam had nothing to do for once. no scheduled performances, no appearances on any tv shows, no comeback to worry about just a break. it was nice of course – at least for the first few days. then it just got boring. so because he was going a little bit stir crazy he had scrolled through every single contact in his phone asking if anyone was free to hang out with him. of course with most of the phone numbers he had belonging to idols almost everyone was busy. but he had gotten one bite – sungnam thought that might be because he had offered to buy bingsu.

the treat was nice on a hot day like today (like the entire month if he was being honest). the problem was that sungnam still had trouble actually eating in front of other people. he’d spent most of their outing just kind of rearranging his own bowl hoping that they wouldn’t notice. of course he had taken a few bites but not many. maybe in the future he should stick to outings that didn’t involve food.

sungnam forced his mind away from thinking about the sugary treat and how many calories it added up by focusing on the person across from him. “so?” sungnam said slowly breaking the silence that had fallen. “what’s new for you? i feel like i haven’t seen you in a lifetime.” of course when most of his social circle consisted of other idols who were almost as busy as himself that tended to happen.

it was decipher’s first comeback since earlier that year. with their year long hiatus in 2017, their comeback for tell me was a little straining on him. he had taken part in dramas during their off time which was a lot of work in and of itself, but in a lot of ways it was easier than doing idol promotions. acting consisted of table readings, long hours on sets, and promoting the drama or film on variety shows and through interviews. being an idol consisted of a lot of traveling from place to place, and performing at each of those places. not to mention interviews, variety shows, music shows. plz don’t be sad had only released last week and he was sure they’d performed the songs at least three dozen times. despite all of that, he could still say that decipher weren’t promoting nearly as much as they used to, and not nearly as much as their hoobaes currently do. 

his career was extremely important to him, but not nearly as important as the people he cared about, namely his family and friends. he would always make time to see all of them especially sungnam. he hadn’t spent some time with him in what felt like forever, but in actuality it had only been a few months. with mars on break from promotional activities, he knew that sungnam would have more free time on his hands, so he wanted to spend as much time with him as he could. 

donghae had been watching him quite closely while he pushed around the rice in his bowl. slowly chewing his own food. “hm? oh, well decipher just released an album last week, so we’ve been promoting for that. what about you? i know you’re all on vacation for now. you’ve been getting some rest, right?” he asked, before chuckling. “it hasn’t been a lifetime. although i have to agree that it feels like that. i’ve missed you.”

[fmddonghae-blog]

jaewon:

donghae was completely right, there was no logical reason to be given as to why jaewon had turned to decipher’s vocalist rather than one of unity’s very own vocal line. his own boyfriend (not that donghae knew that of course) was one of the best vocalists he knew, yet here he was, asking someone who was close to a complete stranger. “you’re completely right, and to be honest, i’m not too sure either.” he admitted truthfully. “i mean, i could tell you how you’re by far the most talented singer i know and that i don’t think there is anyone that can teach me as well as you could but i feel like such empty flattery would do little to placate you.” jaewon should probably have gone for a more subtle approach keeping in mind he still wanted the older to actually help him. “i guess i don’t want to burden my members plus you got more years in the industry to your name than anyone i know.” he shrugged half-heartedly. “it’s just that dimensions insists on making me sing and i know i’m a mediocre singer at best.”

“you’d be right about that.” flattery didn’t do much for donghae. he knew that most people who tried to flatter you and shower you with praise and compliments only wanted you to do something for them, and he wasn’t in the business of letting others use him for their own personal gain or satisfaction. if someone wanted something from him, he’d much rather them be upfront and frank about it from the beginning. “i don’t think the short one would find you to be a burden or anything like that, but since you’re coming to me and asking, i suppose i can be of assistance to you.” he rubbed his thumb against his chin as he looked at the younger male, studying him closely. “mediocre or not, you can carry a tune, so you’re not completely hopeless. i can help you learn about your voice and show you how to make the most of it. there are plenty of people who have a mediocre singing range, but they build their career off of staying in their own lane and not trying to sing things they can’t. when do you want to start?”

[fmddonghae-blog]

hanbit:

       he could feel some exhaustion settling into him. he spent so much time at the festival already today and decipher’s set for the concert had just come to an end. he had just gotten a coffee, in hopes to stay awake a little bit longer; he also hoped that he could just go to his apartment and relax, not really needing to practice for the upcoming comeback. he peaks up as he hears donghae speak, nodding his head. “yes please, hyung,” he says. it had been a while since he had last consumed food. he quickly changed out of his stage outfit, placing on the attire that he had come in back on. he nods once more, “yeah! they make really good ramen.”

donghae was glad that hanbit had said yes to his offer to get food. he himself was starving and could use a little bit of nourishment, him not having eaten since early that morning. it was only getting later and their options of where they could eat were starting to dwindle, so he wanted to get a move on things and make sure that they could make it to the takeout place on time. he knew that they didn’t close until late, so they still had a little bit of extra time. “we’ll go there then.” he reached for the bag he had brought with him for the day, hooking it over his shoulder. “are you ready to go now? did you grab everything?” 

[fmddonghae-blog]

anna:

Anna was in love with the festival, the music, the laughter, how everyone idol or fan were enjoying their time. It was magical in her eyes, especially since she couldn’t enjoy this kind of activities back when she was a kid making this one more significant. She smiled as she watched her fellow members walk towards the foodstands while she waited on her bench with her food between her hands. 

She had just placed a bit of her food on her mouth when a familiar voice called to her, the girl turned her attention towards Donghae with wide eyes, making her seem like a scared bunny in the process. Anna was surprised by the fact that Decipher’s Donghae was adressing to her, she had been a fan of his group since their debut and it was amazing how she could be having a conversation now with him. “I am” She smiled happily once she finished munching the food. “It’s so full of live” Her eyes landing on a group of kids running, laughing, simply enjoying their time. “And you sunbae?” Formalities were important.

The alarmed look on her face made him tense up a little bit, confused as to why she had reacted to his greeting and conversation starter, but he relaxed slightly when she smiled and answered him. He nodded his head in agreement, his eyes parting away from her to scan the crowds of people, taking in the sights and enjoying the excitement that poured off of them in waves. Their excitement was almost palpable. He couldn’t help but buzz with energy along with them. “I have to agree with you on that.. You can’t help but have a good time here, it seems.” He smiled slightly, his gaze returning back to her. “You don’t have to call me that.” While formalities were nice, Donghae didn’t necessarily see the point in them, especially seeing as how the two of them were only a few years apart in age. “You don’t have to be so formal. I’m enjoying my time here though, yes.”

[fmddonghae-blog]

seol:

Seol chuckled at his words, finding them too familiar since that was what she had been doing before she found herself in his company. “Of course they count, or else I would have to say i didn’t do anything on the fest at all” She laughed, though it was something simple and you didn’t win anything out of it like in other activities Seol found those more pleasant, especially since she would have to travel soon with the rest of her girls, it was like the calm before the storm.

Her brown eyes lit up at the mention of food. “I hadn’t tried food here, but I will believe your words. Between you and me…what’s the most delicious thing you had eaten here?” Seol was getting hungry and even if she did want to go around trying different stuff she wanted suggestions. Seol smiled gently, “If it’s not us then who?” She spoke with a side smile on her face “I mean we are the seniors, we have to look good for them and for the fans, don’t you think?”

“Touché.” He chuckled at her logic, having no other choice but to agree with what she had said. It seemed as though she had the same idea as him about the event as a whole, being unable to find anything that was just right for them, but having a good time nonetheless just enjoying the sights and watching everyone else have fun. It had gotten to that point in his life where watching other people, especially those younger than him, have fun was more than enough fun for him. Maybe that was a sign of him getting old.

“You should really try some of the food. Personally, I think that food vendors are some of the best places to get food from.” He didn’t mind fancy restaurants and cafes, but there was something authentic and.. homey about getting food from a street vendor. The fact that the food was made right there in front of you by someone you could emotionally form a connection with through conversation while they were cooking your food just made it all the more better. “The barbecue, actually. The best food here at the festival.” He couldn’t help but nod in agreement. “You’re right, it does rest on our shoulders to be good role models for them.”

[fmddonghae-blog]

theo:

Out of all of the Decipher members, Theo felt like Donghae had definitely been the most difficult to get close to. Even before his relationship with Taesung, the cold image of the older man made the idea of approaching him in the first place slightly intimidating and scary but now that there was more of a reason to interact with his senior, Theo had been determined to make an effort. It had been difficult at first, quietly lamenting over how shy he was around his seniors, but eventually, he found himself somewhat comfortable in the other’s presence. They still had a long way to go, of course, but he knew that was something that would get better with time.

Focusing his attention on the clothes, Theo was vaguely aware of the people taking pictures of the two of them. It was to be expected when two idols came to a public place like this, but it was easier to just get on with what he was doing and let them take pictures. There was nothing to hide anyway - they were just a junior and senior going clothes shopping together, hardly something that would be punishable. “No, it’s okay, hyung,” Theo replied with a sympathetic smile; with Decipher being such a successful group, he could only imagine what it was like to have to deal with such a lack of privacy over the last ten years. He was lucky that Charm, whilst successful, was still able to have some privacy sometimes. “It doesn’t bother me, honestly. I’m sure we can find a present for Taesung hyung in here, I can’t afford Gucci so he’ll just have to settle.” 

Donghae didn’t have anything against Theo. If anything, he thought that Theo was perfect for Taesung. Their personalities meshed well together, and he could tell that they really did make one another happy. He had seen the way that the two of them interacted with one another, how they looked at each other, and he couldn’t help but be touched by the way that they interacted and enjoyed each other’s company. You could see the bond between them, just how deep their feelings went, and you couldn’t help but respect that. Hell, Donghae admired it and was slightly envious of the romance between them. He hadn’t felt anything like that before. No one had ever looked at him the way that they looked at each other, and he had to admit that he was jealous. He hoped that one day, even with all of his issues, he’d be able to find something like what they had. 

Theo was handling the attention rather well, a lot better than most rookies would. Although he wasn’t sure if he could still consider Theo a rookie. His group had debuted three years prior and they had a nice, diverse discography under their belt, not to mention a pretty big fan following. Yeah, he was pretty confident their rookie title had been shed and they could be considered idols at this point. “If you’re sure..” He knew it could be overwhelming, but Theo didn’t seem to have a problem with it, so he was happy to let it go and keep on shopping. “Tae would love anything that you got for him, you know that. He’s, as you young kids would say these days, whipped.” He chuckled slightly, pulling out a shirt that he thought Taesung would like. “Do you think he would wear something like this?” He was pretty sure that he would, but he wanted to get a second opinion just in case. 

[fmddonghae-blog]

allen:

“No, hyung, it’s fine!” Allen quickly shook his head, taking another sip as if to convince Donghae that it was, in fact, alright (it wasn’t, but they both already knew). “I’ve had worse,” he added, which wasn’t a polite lie. He was glad the soju hadn’t been brought out, that he handled even worse than beer. At least, he thought wryly to himself, he wouldn’t really have to worry about alcoholism.  “And if it needs to be gone I’m glad to help. It would be a waste to just throw it away.” Speaking of the devil, Allen remembered his own fridge, stocked for people who were home more frequently than he was. He might have to go through that once he got back to his place, too. “That reminds me, I don’t think you’ve seen the flat I’m living in now, right?” Moving had been such a surreal experience and it was strange not to share his room with Junsu and Daewon anymore. Reason enough to use the flat more as storage space than an actual place to live. He’d have to get rid of the legion of boxes before he could have guests, but maybe that was the push he needed to finally get things done.

“The age thing was a joke in bad taste. I’m sorry,” Allen sighed, running a hand through his hair. “And I really don’t mind supporting roles! From my experience, every single actor on a stage is important in some way.” After all, with such limited space there wasn’t much sense in having more people than necessary around. “I’m just really scared. Plus, there’s the schooling thing to think of.” The schooling thing he hadn’t really looked much into either. Yet. “But it’ll work out. It has to.” The way he worded it, the younger male almost made it seem as if he’d just sit down and wait for a miracle to happen, but if he’d learnt something in his almost twenty-six years it was, that nothing ever came out of waiting aimlessly. “We have another two years. That really isn’t much time, huh?” At least not at the rate idol lives seemed to pass. Allen hadn’t paid much thought to what he’d do after the expiration of his contract. There was still military service waiting for him back in Taiwan, though from what he knew it paled in comparison to what his Korean peers had to go through and after that… With his compulsory education alone there was little he could do.

“Only because it’s you, hyung,” he quipped back cheekily. It was the truth, too; around Donghae, there wasn’t really a point in clinging onto appearances. His sunbaenim knew him too well for that. He might as well be open about things right away. “You haven’t talked about closing night, have you?” Matter of fact, his friend probably had, but it wasn’t like Allen minded hearing about it again. It put everything they were talking about into perspective.

“You don’t have to lie to me - I know that it’s shit. Just because I’m your senior doesn’t mean you have to pretend to like something that I give you. You’re normally so vocal about things that displease you.” That was a shot at how Allen always seemed so ready to speak about what irritates him in regards to everything else, much like how he was complaining to him about going back into musical theatre acting. “You’ve had worse? Is that supposed to make up for it?” He asked as he shook his head. “How about I just get us something else?” He knew that Allen wasn’t much of a drinker in the first place, so soju was out of the question. Donghae reached for the bottle of beer he was still holding, plucking it out of the boy’s hands as he brought himself back up to his feet. 

“I’ll be right back,” he stated, blatantly ignoring his comment about helping him get rid of the beer in his fridge. He made his way back to his kitchen, taking both of the beer bottles and holding them upright over the sink, pouring the alcohol down the drain. He didn’t feel a smidgen of remorse for what he was doing. He knew that he wouldn’t have ended up drinking it anyway, and pouring it down the drain was better than just letting it sit in his fridge, collecting dust. It wasn’t like he had many visitors anyway, so he doubted he would be able to get rid of them. After pouring them out, he disposed of the bottles and grabbed two cups instead, filling them up with juice, before walking back out to the living area. “Here, I hope that’s a little better.” 

Donghae sat back down on the sofa, getting settled back into his original spot, before turning his attention back to his junior. “No, I haven’t seen your new place yet. You’ve been a little busy lately, what with everything Origin has going on, so I figured we were just waiting for the right time to make a house warming party happen.” He wanted to be able to see where the younger male was living, if only to give himself peace of mind. “Is it a nice place? Where is it? Still in the city, right?” He liked to know where the people he cared about were spending the majority of their time, just to make sure that they were safe and sound. Call it his older brother instinct if you will. 

“At least now you’re finally admitting that you’re scared. That’s the first step in realizing that you can better yourself,” he teased, a smile spreading across his face. “And you’re right, supporting roles are just as important as lead roles, because every actor brings something to the stage, even if they just have one role to themselves.” He could understand why schooling would make him have some doubts, but he knew that it would be for the best at the end of the day. Allen would regret it more if he didn’t go through with it than if he did, Donghae firmly believed that. “I know how you feel. I started taking classes a few years back and it was hard to juggle that with idol responsibilities, but you’re a really smart guy, Allen. I’m sure that you’re more than capable of handling the load of your career and your education. If I can do it, you definitely can. You’re way smarter than I am.”

He sipped at his new drink, his fingers tapping against the glass as he did so. “It’s not a very long time, no.” He knew that Allen was worried about things, just as much as Donghae was. There was his impending military enlistment that was waiting for him down the line in just a few short years, something that he had been putting off for quite some time. He didn’t want to go, but he knew that he had to. It was mandatory for every Korean male citizen, and unless he was physically unable to pass the inspection, then he would be forced to shave his head and put on a uniform. That wasn’t a day he was looking forward to. 

“I haven’t.” He probably had, but he couldn’t really remember if he had or not, so if Allen didn’t mind hearing about it again, he didn’t mind talking about it again. “What do you want to know about closing night? Or should I just run through all of the details about it, hmm?”

[fmddonghae-blog]

closed starter ➝ @fmdunee

“you’re going to need this.” donghae held out a cold water bottle towards the girl, shaking it slightly to get her attention. “it’s really hot out here and all that dancing and singing is going to sweat you out. we don’t want anyone to become dehydrated.” the rookie might not have been under bc entertainment, but she was still a rookie nonetheless and he was still her sunbaenim. he was doing for her what he would have done for any other dongsaeng of his. “you’re in femme fatale,” the group that had debuted with almost instant success. it was impressive to say the least. it was always nice to see groups who get recognition right off the bat - they deserved it.

[fmddonghae-blog]

blue:

date & time: july 12th & 21:10

status: closed with @fmddonghae

      RADIANT THE SMILE WITH SWEAT GLISTENING  —- ebonic mane plastered against the skin, slender digits carelessly intertwine through the style while sauntering about with a hunched spine & water in hand. tired his body, but adrenaline from the winning ran rampant. when advised that he would be participating in a volleyball tournament, ecstatic he was with the revelation; however, in nerves his angst triggered, for he would have to play in front of an audience alongside idols he recognized, but barely knew. blue, though, persevered, & he won with his assigned partner. amongst the crowd watching, he was searching for familiar faces that would have attended to support, & it was near the back where he recognized a person he met long ago. a person he met, became stranger to, but apologized to befriend again. “donghae-hyung,” the vocalist called out, waving a hand with an expression of glee present. “how badass did i look on a scale of one to ten ?? will everyone think i’m athletic now ??”

donghae stayed in shape for the most part. he worked out and went to the gym a few times a week, nothing major. however, he wasn’t the most athletic person around. he failed when it came to sports or anything involving hand-eye coordination, which was exactly why he didn’t try to do anything when it came to sports. even when decipher were forced to attend the isacs, he stayed far away from things where he could bring himself or others bodily harm. whenever his friends wanted to get together and play basketball or football or soccer, he always sat out and watched from the sidelines, playing the referee or keeping score. it was no surprise that this time around things were any different. they tried to get him to enter the volleyball tournament, but of course he turned them down. he decided to be a source of support for his friends involved though, blue in particular. he smiled when he heard blue call out to him, lifting up his hand to wave back at him. “i’ll give you a solid eight,” he joked. “well, you did just win against everyone, so i think you’ll be seen as pretty athletic now. come on, i’ll treat you to a winner’s meal. i’m sure they have something good at one of these food carts.”

[jaeonly]

[fmddonghae-blog]

closed starter ➝ @fmdsooyeon

donghae was familiar with wish - it would be kind of impossible for him not to be familiar with them. they were everywhere, known for both their music and their inability to stay out of headlines. the latter wasn’t always for positive reasons either, although he had to say that he couldn’t and wouldn’t judge them based on something as trivial as rumors and scandals. every idol was faced with things like that at one point in time during the course of their career, it was to be expected even more so because of how popular the girls were. 

just because he was familiar with them didn’t mean that he knew them by name. they were his hoobaenims and he thought highly of them, but because of their age gap and the fact they debuted nowhere near one another, he hadn’t bothered to actual sit down and get to know each of them. which was bad on his part, he knew that. which was why he was trying to make an effort. “sooyeon, right?” he asked, pointing at the small girl. “your manager wanted me to tell you that you girls won’t be doing album prep today.” they had run across one another and donghae had decided to help him out by delivering the message. “he said you’re free to go back to the dorm.”

[fmddonghae-blog]

closed starter ➝ @fmdtaeyong

with how busy decipher was going to be within the next upcoming weeks what with them having their comeback and all, donghae was itching to get a little bit of time to himself where he could do the things that he enjoyed doing. he already spent that morning and the day before outside, taking pictures of different sceneries and of different people. when he finished that morning, he went back to his apartment and dived head first into his kitchen. it had only been a few hours and the counter was almost covered in different baked goods and treats, proving just how much hard work he had been putting in ever since he had gotten back home. 

he had just finished pulling a batch of cookies out of the oven when the door to his apartment buzzed, signaling that there was someone outside. already knowing who it was, he walked over to the front door and pushed the button for the door to be unlocked. he waited for a moment or two, giving his guest enough time to make it up to his floor, before pulling open the door just in time to see ash’s fist raised in the air. “beat you to it,” he smiled, waving him inside. “come in. i just pulled some cookies out of the oven and i’m about to get started on yakgwa.”