Foilfreak’s Fantastical Fantasies

AO3: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Foilfreak/works Artist. Writer. General Creative Person. Raging Bisexual. 27. She/they/he. Ask is open. Welcome to Hell!

[anti-parent]

teamwork makes the dream work. and dreamwork. makes shrek

[anti-parent]

fantastic. i love it. i posted this after my wife said it yesterday and as i was doing it i was like "this can't be an original thought. as soon as i hit post someone's going to say 'you stole this from a tweet from 2014' and i'll say 'no, i stole it from my beautiful wife.'"

[resident-idiot-simp]

[redstonedust]

i think being proud of where you come from is one of those things that becomes fun the more specific you get. like "proud to be english" bad rancid vibes. makes you sound like the kind of person who rants about immigrants. "proud to be from yorkshire" better vibes. i cannot deny the yorkshire cultural heritage. "proud to be from pocklington" absolutely fucking hilarious please never let anybody kill your pocklington pride.

[redstonedust]

i love the USA: weird vibes. dont trust that.

i love muskegon michigan: you are experiencing a kind of personal joy that i can and will not take from you

[negativesanchez]

[vaspider]

Paleontologists recently unearthed the largest tibia ever recorded. Of course, they threw a party to celebrate at the site, and I hear it was quite a shindig.

[cheeseanonioncrisps]

“I wish I was more powerful, like you guys. Even casting fireball takes it right out of me some days.”

“Hey, none of that. You're a valued member of the team, no matter what your power level.”

“I just don't understand how you can tear open that portal to the fire dimension so easily.”

“… fire dimension?”

“Yeah. Where the fire lives. Before you summon it. For fireballs.”

“Dude. We've been creating explosions by igniting flammable gases in the air. What the fuck have you been doing?”

[jantesika]

this is like the opposite of that "wizard vs artificer" post. the one that goes, like, "oh, you've just been summoning from the plane of water! I thought you had to combine hydrogen and oxygen, that's so much easier".

and I like that. because different methods will work for different people. sometimes you find it easier to start up physics and sometimes you find it easier to tear open the layers of reality.

[vintagewildlife]

"I can't believe humans would hunt the thylacine to extinction, humans are fundamentally evil" Hey, did you know that extinction was long thought to be impossible, and within 50 years of humans realizing that extinction via overhunting was a possibility it practically stopped happening? Did you know that humans are so desperate to prevent more losses that they're funneling millions of collective hours and billions of euros into helping other species? Hours and euros that could be spent on humans, being spent on species on whom humanity's own survival does not depend? Did you know that due to an accidental introduction of rats, the Lord Howe Island stick insect population was brought down to 24 individuals and now there are tens of thousands of them?

This bug. This bug that, to most humans, is utterly useless, relatively gross, and completely foreign. Humans saved it because humans do not want to cause another extinction ever again if they can avoid it.

[pencil-line-deactivated20241029]

method actor this method actor that. toshiro mifune played a guy getting shot at by arrows by getting shot at by arrows

and yeah i believe it. ^ this is the face of a guy getting shot at by arrows

[lysenkoite]

[weaselle]

[abz-j-harding]

i can't cope

[molabuddy]

really specific trope i like that i feel like can only be explained in a diagram

[silverrdagger]

whatever 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝 𓆟

[cubejello]

I did my PhD in a fish lab, and one time I was emailing a fish company, and the guy emailed me back with the signature “Best fishes,” followed by these guys

[kingpin-of-steel-act3]

[ihatenearlyeverything]

its ok theyre Gods lil helpers

[oatmealbrain]

And boy are they clumsy

[hydrangeafae]

Hi, these bees are babies! They’re not clumsy at all, this is what is called orientation flights. After birth and before beginning their careers as foragers (as all Honey bees cycle through all the jobs in the Hive throughout their lifespan), Honey bees take short flights back and forth, to and from the Hive, to orient themselves with their wings and their home so they can learn its location and how to get back home after foraging! Everyone has to learn, these are just smol little baby turkeys. Bees use the angle of the sun for location so adults have a better and more direct sense of location than any human

[polar-solstice]

IM SO PLEASED TO LEARN THIS!!!

They are just!!! Student drivers!!! 😭

[sindri42]

BONK!

[number-1-kuaidul-fanboy]

Don’t like that the dub cut Carly’s fear of ending up in poverty if she loses her job (as that was what made a lot of her more morally questionable choices understandable) but at least it’s still somewhat implied by her explicitly saying that she lives out of her car.

[cyber-beast]

I literally nearly went insane trying to find this but Yugioh 5Ds character height sheet for any artists or ppl who were curious about heights

[mirokuna-hime]

Is Carly taller than Aki!?!? Like just a little? I thought she was one of the shorter girls for sure??

[puppygirlgirldick]

apropos of nothing my glasses are round and i definitely know what sex is and i'm being too subtle please shove my face into your dick and make me huff until my brain shuts off

[namitomoon]

[argisthebulwark]

How It Works

summary: teasing Miraak about his incomplete knowledge of sex quickly becomes a lesson feat: Miraak/f!LDB warnings: explicit sexual content - minors should not read or engage with this post in any way.

"Did they have sex in your time?"

Miraak's scoff doesn't count as an answer. The Dragonborn waits, finger tapping impatiently on her thigh. Dinner cools in front of her, that threat of arousal more tempting than the meal.

"Of course." His eyes roll and she's delighted. It's so easy to lead him into the exact conversation she wants to have. Miraak is predictable, always rising to argue with her.

"What kind?"

"What do you -" Miraak splutters, cheeks already bright pink. "What in the hell does that mean? We've had sex, have we not?"

"We've had penetrative sex." She corrects, poking the tip of his nose. Miraak is already steaming. It's far too fun to get under his skin.

"And what else is there?" He snarks, arms folding. "Non-penetrative sex?"

"Well, yes." That shuts down his attitude. Miraak glares at her, dinner entirely forgotten in favor of this conversation. Her half formed plan is going perfectly.

"Are you toying with me, Dragonborn?"

"Yes." She scoots closer, arousal already building. "But that doesn't mean I'm lying."

Miraak is a quick learner. He shoves aside their abandoned meal, wine staining the tablecloth but he can't think of that now. Not when his Dragonborn is nearly unclothed and spread before him.

"Like this." She instructs, guiding two fingers into her cunt. Miraak's cock is leaking under his robes but he remains seated, enamored with the sight of his fingers sinking into her. The Dragonborn's back arches as she adjusts, her grip on his wrist setting a slow pace.

"And this feels good for you?" Miraak questions, salivating at the way her hips roll into his touch. He can see every little reaction - the muscles twitching, fluid gathering around his knuckles, her thighs trembling. It's fascinating.

"Yes." Her voice is breathy, cunt throbbing around his fingers. He pulls back then shoves back in, the movements rough but more than enough to make her eyes roll back.

"In what situation would this be preferable over the sex we've had before?"

"When we need to be quick." There's a huff of laughter that cuts off with a groan. "Having sex with you is an all night affair."

Miraak isn't certain if that is a compliment. His Dragonborn releases her grip on his wrist, allowing his fingers to twist and fuck into her at his own pace. It's a different experience, one he hasn't felt before.

It doesn't seem like enough. Miraak watches his Dragonborn writhe atop their table but knows that frustrated expression. His spine curls as his tongue flattens against her clit, earning the moans he desired so badly. He still can't fathom how this is preferable when fucking her properly is an option but he is willing to follow her instruction.

"Miraak," she's panting his name, hips twitching up to meet his mouth. He's found a rhythm that doesn't cramp his wrist and seems to please his beloved. Miraak watches in fascination as she orgasms, delighted to feel the familiar fluttering of her cunt around his fingers.

"Okay," she breathes, that troublesome smile still on her face. Miraak braces himself for whatever she'll surprise him with next. "That was one type."

"There's more?"

"Oral."

"You know I have performed oral sex on you -"

"On you."

Oh, that little divot in his brows is adorable. The Dragonborn watches Miraak puzzle through her words, his cock visible under those robes. She slips easily to her knees before him, moving slowly. Allowing Miraak time to voice any discomfort.

"On me?"

"Yes." She kneels before him, gazing up at the bewildered eyes of the man she loves so dearly. "Are you interested?"

Miraak is so expressive. She watches him sort through his thoughts - confusion, a potential argument that penetrative sex is more efficient, and genuine interest. In the end he nods, allowing her to fully untie his robes.

"I am intrigued."

All of that proper speech dissolves the moment her tongue traces up his cock. Miraak's head falls back, his knuckles white where they grip his chair. It's terribly entertaining to watch him experience things for the first time.

The Dragonborn steadies her breathing before taking him fully into her mouth. Miraak swears in a language she's never heard before, hips rocking toward her. His cock bullies into her throat, nose pressed flat against his pelvis and he's making sounds she's never heard.

"Fuck, you - ah, that's so," Miraak can't seem to string two words together. The Dragonborn tries to stifle her reaction, gripping his thighs and pulling back. She lets him slip almost entirely from her mouth, tongue dragging over every inch of his cock.

"That's, how did you, huh," Miraak can do nothing but whine. He seems quite pleased to learn about all the advancements in sex while he'd been locked away in Apocrypha. Something animalistic rises in the Dragonborn at the thought - she is the only one in history to see him like this, so entirely undone and needy.

"You can put your hand here." The Dragonborn instructs, his cock twitching against her lower lip as she guides one hand to the back of her head. He needed a break or it was going to be over far too quickly for her liking.

"Why?"

"To show me what you want." She grins and kisses his leaking tip. "Since you can't seem to speak very well at the moment."

For all her teasing, the Dragonborn didn't expect Miraak to shove his cock back into her mouth. Precum drips down her throat when his hand keeps her pressed firmly to his pelvis and rolls his hips into her mouth. Miraak fucks her throat, groaning with every little sensation. Arousal pounds between her thighs at the rough ministrations but this is about him.

"Like this, Dovahkiin?" He mutters, voice thick. "Come now, teach me."

[you-say-fudo]

Day 17 - Polar Opposites @ygo5dsmonth2020

Drawing this card means your fortune today is “Absolutely Awful”!

VS.

Transcending five thousand years time, the doors of the underworld will open once more. May our souls be the food of the new world! Advent, Earthbound God Aslla Piscu!

[npdclaraoswald]

Dark Signer!Carly: *orders Jack to do something*

Jack: Don't order me around!

Jack: *does what she ordered*

[crybabythewhite]

Obviously Carly is hot, She has a stable job that lets her paid the rent of her apartment. That’s hot as shit