Follower of the Starmaker

Rachel, 22, London. Sinner saved by grace.

[followerofthestarmaker]

wow. 8 years? Your faith is astounding. I feel like God has been telling me to wait on this thing and move on in a similar way - for a person I really care about - and it’s hard for me to even imagine a year. How did you stay strong all that time? Could you tell us any more? Was it hard caring about someone for so long and not being able to be with them?

Aw thank you! Although it wasn’t 8 years of true faith. It was 8 years of ups and downs and swerving away from the Lord to then come back to Him…and get distant again.

For a bit of context, we met when I was 10 at summer camp. Started really liking him when I was 14 and that was when I first started praying for him to become my husband in the future (lol, toooo keeeen). I know 14 is veeeery young but my feelings for him were real even at such a young age. We’d see each other every summer and have a bit of a summer romance going on but it always left me heartbroken at the end of the summer when we’d have to part and I obviously didn’t mean as much to him as he did to me. I dated a couple other guys over the years but he was always the one who had my heart and my other dating experiences never really took off (probably because I could never be fully invested as he was aaalways on my mind). Then a couple years ago, we started properly talking and we dated for a few months. But then he called it off for various (good) reasons and it broke my heart. It took me 2 years to get to the place where I could surrender it all to the Lord and trust that He would take care of it all. I cried and prayed for God to take my feelings away if he wasn’t going to be the guy for me. It got easier over the months but I still thought of him every single day. (We stayed good friends throughout).

Then a few months ago, we saw each other and clicked again. We started talking again and then he told me he had been thinking and praying about us for a long time and he thought although the time was never right in the past, it felt right now. He asked me to also think and pray about it, especially as he had hurt me in the past. And I did and I guess that’s that!!

I know all of this makes it sound like he’s the bad guy but honestly he’s a sweetheart and he’s always tried to do the right thing, always putting the Lord first.

It definitely wasn’t easy and there were many seasons of sadness, doubting God’s goodness and his love for me. But looking back I needed to go through the difficult times. I needed honest conversations with my Saviour and changes in my life.

It made me realise that it’s only when I got to that place of surrender that the Lord unravelled His plan. The past 8 years have taught me a lot about patience, about forgiveness, about trust. It’s when you’re content having only Him that He reveals the bigger picture.

Keep looking up friends, He will prove himself to be faithful.

Much love xxx

[followerofthestarmaker]

Update: WE GOT MARRIED!

[delightfullyloved]

Run to Him. He loves you, so much.

[coffeebean87]

“It is finished.”

—

Jesus, John 19:30.

The most meaningful words in human history.

[followerofthestarmaker]

How do I live with it. The pain of him not loving me is unbearable.

Hey anon,

I'm so sorry to hear that you are hurting. Wish I could give you a big hug.

Words won't ease the pain so I won't use many but here's something that helped me in the past:

At some point you may love someone immensely, and God will gently put his hand on your shoulder and say 'I'm sorry child, but this is not what I have in store for you'. And maybe it's just not the right time, or maybe it will never be the right time, but you just have to trust that your Father knows what's best for you and let go as gracefully as you can. It will hurt, and you will cry. But it will get easier. Being out of God's will hurts so much more in the long run. (found on tumblr a few years ago)

I know it's easier said than done, but I promise it will get easier.

Talk to God. Tell him how you feel. Tell him everything. He knows, He listens, He hurts with you.

Praying for you, for peace, for strength, for many blessings to come your way.

With all my love

Rachel x

[followerofthestarmaker]

Would you please pray for the salvation of my loved one Seth? Thank you, God bless.

Of course!

Lord, I pray for Seth. Please would you reveal yourself to him, please show him how much you love him and how you died for him, personally. I pray that he would give his heart to You Lord.

Amen

[all-gods-children]

Be still and know

So this week I bought a sign that says “be still and know,” and at first I thought it was kinda ironic because I’m that person that’s constantly got somewhere to be or something to do. To me, being still means setting everything down and literally being physically still, spending time with God and not on anything else. Which is something I don’t often get to do, especially lately. But yesterday, as I was running (sometimes literally) from one obligation or appointment to another, I realized that isn’t always necessarily true.

Sometimes, being still and knowing that He is God doesn’t have to mean stopping in the middle of the day to read the Word or listen to a sermon or what have you. Sometimes, it means looking out the window in the middle of a meeting and taking two seconds to appreciate the beauty of the sunset and the majesty of our Creator. Sometimes, it means looking around you while walking to campus and appreciating the uniqueness of each person around you, appreciating that they are each loved and cherished by their Creator. Sometimes, it means jamming along to worship music in the car on the way to the next thing to check off your list and really getting lost in God’s love. 

Sometimes, being still and knowing that He is God simply means that we still our hearts and calm our minds and get lost in the wonder and awe that is worshiping our God.

[upliftourday]

[worshipgifs]

[newlifepureheart]

When you’re in a season of waiting, it’s never just a season of waiting. It’s a season of preparation, self-improvement, giving, and, as always, sanctification. 

Waiting is not passive. It’s active. Be prepared for what you are praying for. You might not know when, but when He speaks, it happens fast. Be ready for it. 

[live-loved]

constantly waiting for the LORD. ♥

[followerofthestarmaker]

2019

Strive to be

Kind

Tenderhearted

Forgiving

[dreamsuggestion-deactivated2019]

at my happiest when the sky is pink

[followerofthestarmaker]

wow. 8 years? Your faith is astounding. I feel like God has been telling me to wait on this thing and move on in a similar way - for a person I really care about - and it’s hard for me to even imagine a year. How did you stay strong all that time? Could you tell us any more? Was it hard caring about someone for so long and not being able to be with them?

Aw thank you! Although it wasn't 8 years of true faith. It was 8 years of ups and downs and swerving away from the Lord to then come back to Him...and get distant again.

For a bit of context, we met when I was 10 at summer camp. Started really liking him when I was 14 and that was when I first started praying for him to become my husband in the future (lol, toooo keeeen). I know 14 is veeeery young but my feelings for him were real even at such a young age. We'd see each other every summer and have a bit of a summer romance going on but it always left me heartbroken at the end of the summer when we'd have to part and I obviously didn't mean as much to him as he did to me. I dated a couple other guys over the years but he was always the one who had my heart and my other dating experiences never really took off (probably because I could never be fully invested as he was aaalways on my mind). Then a couple years ago, we started properly talking and we dated for a few months. But then he called it off for various (good) reasons and it broke my heart. It took me 2 years to get to the place where I could surrender it all to the Lord and trust that He would take care of it all. I cried and prayed for God to take my feelings away if he wasn't going to be the guy for me. It got easier over the months but I still thought of him every single day. (We stayed good friends throughout).

Then a few months ago, we saw each other and clicked again. We started talking again and then he told me he had been thinking and praying about us for a long time and he thought although the time was never right in the past, it felt right now. He asked me to also think and pray about it, especially as he had hurt me in the past. And I did and I guess that's that!!

I know all of this makes it sound like he's the bad guy but honestly he's a sweetheart and he's always tried to do the right thing, always putting the Lord first.

It definitely wasn't easy and there were many seasons of sadness, doubting God's goodness and his love for me. But looking back I needed to go through the difficult times. I needed honest conversations with my Saviour and changes in my life.

It made me realise that it's only when I got to that place of surrender that the Lord unravelled His plan. The past 8 years have taught me a lot about patience, about forgiveness, about trust. It's when you're content having only Him that He reveals the bigger picture.

Keep looking up friends, He will prove himself to be faithful.

Much love xxx

[inspiredbyjesuslove]

[heartsings77]

“The more I learn about the sin in my own heart, the more I want to know God’s grace.”

— A.W. Tozer (via alistairradley)

[followerofthestarmaker]

How did you know when you were praying for your relationship, that God wasn’t saying no and He was saying wait? Especially after all those years? And btw, your blog is amazing! Wishing you many blessings!

Hi anon! Thanks so much for your message.

And that is a very good question. I don't think I can say it was ever clear to me that God was saying wait. There were times when I thought it was clear I had to move on, and times when I thought God was nudging my heart and telling me to be patient and wait. I guess He wanted me to trust Him first and foremost, no matter the outcome. He needed me to get to the place where I was content surrendering it all to Him. And I'm not saying it was easy, it was in fact the hardest thing I've ever had to do and I struggled through a seemingly endless cycle of surrendering then picking it up again.

But to answer more specifically, I prayed and prayed and prayed for him to be the one. And then prayed for my feelings to go away (which btw is one tough prayer). And they never did. Which could be taken as a 'wait'. But God works in weird and wonderful ways and sometimes we just don't know. But we can trust that whatever His plan is, it is the best, and it will unfold in His own perfect time.

And a passage that really helped- and I hope can also help you! - was the very last paragraph of Habbakuk, prompting and encouraging us to anchor our hearts in the Lord and not our circumstances:

Though the fig tree should not blossom, nor fruit be on the vines, the produce of the olive fail and the fields yield no food, the flock be cut off from the fold and there be no herd in the stalls,yet I will rejoice in the Lord ; I will take joy in the God of my salvation.

Habakkuk 3:17-18 ESV

I can also recommend a very good book: The hardest peace by Kara Tippetts.

I hope this helps, I know it doesn't really give much of a black or white answer but I really hope and pray you find peace in the Lord, whatever it is you're praying and waiting for.

Much love,

Rach x

[lovechangeseverythang]

thankful for Jesus bc the world is exhausting

[prayforflora]

Grateful for a God who always wants to hear from us.