Food Repulsed, Ya’ll

Vegan with dyspepsia, IBS, Migraines, ADHD, depression, and anxiety They/them This is a safe space for the f00d repulsed A blog about ableism and chronic illness life

[food-is-evil]

Hi Void. It’s me again,

I’ve been thinking about my complacency in “brainweird” music and,

TW IM DISCUSSING POSSIBLE CHILDHOOD TRAUMA/ABUSE BELOW

considering I’m currently diagnosed with Depression, Anxiety, ADHD, and OCD (the last of this which my current psychiatrist questions)

,,

I was reminded of the following points

I have had visual hallucinations before

I have had voices in my head

From age 14 to ~18 I was convinced an evil diety on the same level of in-describability as a lovecraftian Erdrich was after my mind (kind of Stranger Things style)

16-18 I was convinced this dude who had a crush on me was stalking me + I did everything in my power to avoid him also I obsessively thought about this person ALOT (although I really had no reason to be so afraid of him)

I’m now becoming very wary and paranoid about my dad

I often have racing thoughts and struggle managing my energy

I have TERRIBLE memory

Growing up sometimes my mom would let men live in the house and I would sit in my room with my bedroom door cracked naked after showers until someone would close the door for me

My grandmother told me I was molested by my uncle but I have no memory of that (she also exaggerates sometimes, I currently believe this is a misunderstanding but I don’t want to confront this)

This stuff is bothering me a lot but I have a hard time opening up about these things even to my counselor/psychiatrist I JUST REALLY HATE CONFRONTATION

I hate this but I think there’s something besides ADHD (the root cause of my depression/anxiety supposedly) going on how do I hhhhhh admit this shit to anybody that’s not anonymously on the internet

[oscarwildeboytoy-deactivated201]

Hey, unpopular opinion, apparently. But people don’t just “have pain for no reason” doctors say this all the time (especially to women and chronically ill people) and the truth is, Thats literally not possible. Even if your pains are psychosomatic (a word I hesitate to even use because of the way its used so often) there is a reason you are having those pains whether its mental illness, abuse, etc. If your doctor consistently tells you that “well some people just have pain for no reason” get a new doctor. That’s a doctor who is not going to give a shit what your actual symptoms or experiences are.

[kamorth]

I just wanna add to clarify the psychosomatic thing.

That word DOES NOT MEAN you’re making it up. It doesn’t mean you’re imagining the symptom. What it means is that the symptom ISN’T DIRECTLY CAUSED BY ANY OF THE THINGS THAT WOULD NORMALLY CAUSE IT.

I fought to get a PCOS diagnosis for 2 and a half years. For the ENTIRE time I was fighting, I was dealing with 3 cysts that were not going away by themselves and eventually required surgery to remove. At one point close to the end of the battle, I suddenly went blind. I was visiting my parents and was standing on the veranda looking out over the tree we had planted in memory of my dog and suddenly I got one of the shooting pains that I was quite frankly used to at that point and my vision started to go dark. It was like the sun was setting while being completely hidden behind storm clouds but it was 2pm in the middle of Summer on a clear day. Within about 30 seconds I couldn’t see ANYTHING. I was 27 years old and I was screaming for my mother.

My mum raced me to her doctor (he was a 15 minute drive away as opposed to 45 minutes to the nearest hospital) and he quickly worked out that there was nothing wrong with my eyes and what had happened was totally unrelated to them. Then he said it was psychosomatic and I freaked out, yelling that I was NOT making this up and I definitely wasn’t imagining it. Very quickly he calmed me down and said he believed me and I had misunderstood. He explained that whatever was going on with my abdominal pains (he suggested PCOS which I hadn’t even heard of at that point) had been ignored for so long that my body was starting to do things other than the normal pain response to try to draw my attention to the problem. My sight going was my body basically jumping around in front of me going “HEY ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO ME HELLLOOOOOOO??????”

He gave me some prescription strength painkillers and my sight started to come back as soon as they started to kick in. About 45 minutes after it started I could see well enough to walk around without help and within a day and a half I was back to normal. On top of that I finally had a scan booked to figure out what the hell was causing all the pain.

Psychosomatic symptoms are NOT imagined or fabricated or happening for “no reason”. Experiencing them DOES NOT make you a liar. It makes you someone who has been battling with something serious for so long that your own body has started to get impatient with you.

[oscarwildeboytoy-deactivated201]

I completely agree. Thank you for sharing this.

[antique-scarecrow]

Psychosomatic symptoms are literally your body flipping random alarm switches just to get any alarm blaring because you’ve been ignoring the regular ones

[food-is-evil]

:c

[thatdiabolicalfeminist]

There’s this ableist idea that the default is for people to have zero disabilities and mental illnesses. That’s why there’s a concept of there being “too many diagnoses” - because people totally assume there’s like, a Perfectly Normal Human to begin with and that that idealized body has zero brain issues or disabilities.

And that’s so wrong. That’s just as wrong as assuming non-intersex, cishet middle-class white guys are the Perfectly Normal Human of which everyone else is an imperfect copy.

We’re not made from a mould. We have endless variations and they aren’t divergence from some Perfectly Normal Copy, they’re literally the way life functions. There is no perfect copy. There are only variations, some of which have the privilege of being normalized.

But privileged people see themselves as the default, and “too many differences” can seem “made up” to them, because they’re not used to relating to people who are different. Unfortunately we mentally ill/disabled people absorb this idea too and it’s really hard to unlearn it when we’re stuck in a society that’s constantly reinforcing it.

We have to be gentle with ourselves and with each other and work on normalizing variations like mental illnesses, disabilities, etc., so the focus can be on meeting the needs of people who have them instead of just surviving ableism.

[hostileapple-blog]

[cwote]

please stay.

[food-is-evil]

No matter what

You deserve to eat

You do not deserve hunger

You can win this

[thelovemessenger-deactivated202]

a message for anyone that needs it

to everyone with a chronic illness:

fighting your body every day is so tough but guess what? you’re tougher.

even if it doesn’t feel like it.

even if you spend most days in bed.

even if your illness makes you cry or you need help dealing with it.

even if you don’t deal with it “well”.

you. are. tough.

[food-is-evil]

Yeah so I recently discovered my GI doc labeled me as anorexic even tho I don’t even fit the psychological criteria,,,,, like I never wanted to lose weight, I always was concerned about how little I was eating, I always wanted to eat, like y he do that. Y u gotta label me like that

[en-seta]

Reminder that erasing poor and chronically ill vegans harms them by convincing people veganism is largely unobtainable, which causes less people to attempt to be vegan, and in turn results in less vegans demanding vegan products that become cheaper and more widespread the more people buy them so. If you really want to help out the poor and ill that want to be vegan, the best thing you can do for them is become vegan yourself.

[thelovemessenger-deactivated202]

a message for anyone that needs it:

if you were deciding if you’re gonna eat that thing or not, this is your sign. go ahead and eat it. you deserve it, it’s nothing bad. you deserve to eat.

[youngchronicpain]

Does it ever occur to you out of the blue how bad your condition has gotten? Like you’re just sipping coffee thinking about turtles and then you realize that just a couple years ago you could do so many more things. You realize that you’ve acclimated so well to this life that you can’t even imagine how it was before.

[ghostlywitching]

Out doing my part today! Protest signs I illustrated to raise awareness of the rising prices of insulin and how it is becoming unaffordable to diabetics who need it in order to live while companies make exorbitant profits.

Check out KOI#Insulin4all at Twitter and T1 International for more information and help support!

The press conference starts soon!

Dua Sekhmet, healer and slayer of foes, great warrior goddess! Dua Wesir, who keeps the souls of those who have died from this tragedy in comfort and health and who inspires life in death! Dua Anubis, he who judges souls and sees the truth in wicked hearts! Dua netjer! Dua netjeru!

[en-seta]

Reminder that erasing poor and chronically ill vegans harms them by convincing people veganism is largely unobtainable, which causes less people to attempt to be vegan, and in turn results in less vegans demanding vegan products that become cheaper and more widespread the more people buy them so. If you really want to help out the poor and ill that want to be vegan, the best thing you can do for them is become vegan yourself.

[en-seta]

I see a lot of vegans reblogging this but imma need everyone to rb this too ok this is an important message.

[staff]

A New Policy Against Self-Harm Blogs

One of the great things about Tumblr is that people use it for just about every conceivable kind of expression. People being people, though, that means that Tumblr sometimes gets used for things that are just wrong. We are deeply committed to supporting and defending our users’ freedom of speech, but we do draw some limits. As a company, we’ve decided that some specific kinds of content aren’t welcome on Tumblr. For example, we prohibit spam and identity theft.

Our Content Policy has not, until now, prohibited blogs that actively promote self-harm. These typically take the form of blogs that glorify or promote anorexia, bulimia, and other eating disorders; self-mutilation; or suicide. These are messages and points of view that we strongly oppose, and don’t want to be hosting. The question for us has been whether it’s better to (a) prohibit them, as a statement against the very ideas of self-harm that they are advancing, or (b) permit them to stay up, accompanied by a public service warning that directs readers to helplines run by organizations like the National Eating Disorders Association.

We are planning to post a new, revised Content Policy in the very near future, and we’d like to ask for input from the Tumblr community on this issue.

Here’s what we think the right answer is:

1. Implement a new policy against pro-self-harm blogs. Here’s draft language we are planning to add to our Content Policy:

Active Promotion of Self-Harm. Don’t post content that actively promotes or glorifies self-injury or self-harm. This includes content that urges or encourages readers to cut or mutilate themselves; embrace anorexia, bulimia, or other eating disorders; or commit suicide rather than, e.g., seek counseling or treatment for depression or other disorders. Online dialogue about these acts and conditions is incredibly important; this prohibition is intended to reach only those blogs that cross the line into active promotion or glorification. For example, joking that you need to starve yourself after Thanksgiving or that you wanted to kill yourself after a humiliating date is fine, but recommending techniques for self-starvation or self-mutilation is not.

We aim to begin implementing this policy next week. Of course, we will allow any affected blogs a grace period in which to edit or download your content.

2. Start showing PSAs on search results for related keywords. In addition, we plan to start posting “public service announcement”-style language whenever users search for tags that typically go along with pro-self-harm blogs. For example, when a user searches for tags like “anorexia”, “anorexic”, “bulimia”, “bulimic”, “thinspiration”, “thinspo”, “proana”, “purge”, “purging”, etc., we would show PSA language like:

Eating disorders can cause serious health problems, and at their most severe can even be life-threatening. Please contact the [resource organization] at [helpline number] or [website].

So that’s our plan. We’d like your feedback. If you have any comments or suggestions, please email them to [email protected].

[stophatingyourbody]

This is super super awesome. I think it’s great that Tumblr is being proactive when it comes to harmful practices such as thinspiration. Blogs like the ones mentioned are in no way therapeutic or helpful, and I’m so proud of the Tumblr staff for seeing that it’s a problem and taking actions to fix it. Go Tumblr!

~Amber

[roadtorachel-blog-blog]

I don’t encourage starving yourself to lose weight. 

Reblog if you don’t either!

[food-is-evil]

Anybody else get diagnosed w anorexia for being food repulsed asking 4 a friend