It's going to get dark

this is my depression blog if you dont like it get off it I don't actually care. if im posting here im not okay

[bpd-bbyg]

it’s all just the same cycles of abandonment

092220

[actias-lunar]

Person: I promise I won’t leave you, I would never hurt you like that!

Me, in the future:

[violetpxl]

Your happiness has always meant more to me. 

[exhaustedborderline]

[cha0smaid]

im sorry

04.11.20

[ruined-feeling]

You said you’d never leave,

But where are you now?

[guntooheavy]

your silence was the perfect blank canvas for my self-hating heart

[thewriteofi]

I see myself a grave of discontent

Quietly, moonlessly, woefully

Stuck in the ground

Unceremoniously

I often see myself a grave without a headstone

What is there to write of someone

Midst identity crisis

Floored by copious amount of self-doubt

The dam broke and I drowned

Painlessly

It’s easy to abandon a place without prospect

To visit it once a while to pay respects

To what once was and can never be

For I am myself a grave of cradled hope

That passed on in its infancy

No red poppies or scented lavender

To save its forsaken soul

Yet this bouquet of roses and lilies lay

In place of everything else left to say

[originalkryptoniteheart]

I know it gets darkest before the dawn but every night I find myself wondering if the sunlight will ever hit my face again. The absence of light is comforting until it's not.

I could take out some matches and start a fire but playing with flames will get you burned. There is something to be said about setting things ablaze because nothing is ever lost but having it turned to ash is as close as you'll get.

Silence is so loud, all my harrowing thoughts come out when it gets quiet around me. There is a reason why all my screens are on, my face is always in a book and music never stops. I cannot fall asleep unless I'm so exhausted my brain finally shuts the fuck up. I'm a mess sometimes and I am so sorry but I don't know how to keep things in order for longer than a few hours. I live in chaos and I find comfort in my own mayhem.

I'm not addicted to my phone, I just can't be alone with my thoughts. I can't keep the despair away if I am not moving. I need to feel alright again as quick as I can so I'll go to that party even though I know I don't want to right now. I'll watch that movie again so I can get lost into what is familiar. I'll call him up and take a ride on his face so I don't have to think about anything except how good his beard feels on my thighs. I am not great at being alone but sometimes people are just too much. I'm full of paradoxes and bad ideas I know, but this is what I've got. If you don't like it you can leave but before you go, promise me you'll come back?

[mindlesstatic]

I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you I don't need you

God please fucking just come hold me

[granbytheopossum-deactivated202]

[the-no-longer-human]

You'll leave me anyways, won't you?

[the-no-longer-human]

That feeling when u realize, u aren't that special like u thought u were...ouch

[jupiter-suggestion]

this business is far from finished. you are a storm in the room. your hands itch to bar the doorway; you are just so sick of the leaving. you are sick with being left.

[owlfish]

1/7/18

[top-secret-suicide-deactivated2]

[destroymylife]