"One of my favorite songs is Tony Bennett's 'I Left My Heart in San Francisco'. It brings such happy memories to me as a child. It became one of my mother and father's favorite songs. I remember one night when I was probably 9-years-old, I woke up after I had gone to sleep and I walked into the living room and my mother and father were there alone and they were dancing, very slowly, as the song was playing and I never saw them dance at home like that ever again. So, that's why that song is one of my favorites, because of that memory."
He was afraid that he’d fall-in-love. She was afraid he wouldn’t love her back.
1942
Judy did a double take on her dancing partner. He was still swaying her to the melody of the live band up on the stage of Ciro's, but his small talk had stopped as he stared to the side of them. She watched as her co-star grew a bit of a grim expression and she turned her head to look at what was distracting him.
There, in the sea of people surrounding the reserved 'MGM' tables, was her other co-star Gene Kelly. He had a bright smile on his face as he shook hands gleefully with Henry Fonda and bent down to give Lucille Ball a kiss on the hand. Van Johnson had his arm around Gene and motioned for them to sit at empty chairs near Mickey and Ava. Judy smiled warmly to herself as the two men sat down next to her own chair.
George Murphy exhaled through his nose and turned forward to give her attention again, but Judy spoke up in a motherly tone.
"I do wish you would give him a chance, Georgie."
"Who?"
Judy cocked her head, "You know very well, who."
"He's just so...cocky. He walks in every room like he owns it. He doesn't even have one film under his belt yet and he's schmoozing like he's been here as long as we have."
"He's not cocky," Judy retorted a bit stern, "He’s confident and he’s proud to be a part of all this. He likes to get along with everyone..." Judy repeated again for George to hear her more clearly, "...*everyone*."
He twirled Judy around and had a clear vision of the other man over her shoulder, "Angel, I know you've become friends with him, but I don't know why you're defending a man you just met over me; someone you've known since you came here."
"Georgie..."
He interrupted her, "I had that role, Judy, and a newbie just came and snatched it away."
"George," Judy stopped dancing and took his hand to pull him aside a bit, "I'm sorry you feel that way, I do, but I need you to understand something."
"Shoot," he said clearly uninterested as he reached inside his pocket for his cigarette carton.
Judy quickly placed her hand up on his to stop him so she could have her friend's direct attention, "I did not just meet Gene, I met him a few years ago. And Gene did not snatch the part away from you. If you have anyone to blame for not having the lead in this film, it's me."
George kneaded his eyebrows in disbelief, "What?"
"I don't like to brag about it, because it wasn't all my doing, but I did help persuade Arthur a little bit to put Gene in this role. After seeing him in 'Pal Joey', when I read this script, all I could see was Gene next to me."
"But not me," he said in a bit of a kid-like mannerism.
"Oh," Judy giggled taking his arm, "Stop gloating. I wanted to work with you in Nellie Kelly didn't I?"
"Yesss," he smiled.
"And we have a lot of fun numbers and serious scenes in this film."
"I know, kid, my pride just gets the better of me I suppose.”
"Did you know that Gene almost turned the role down? He didn't want to work for Mayer after he turned him down in the past."
"Ah, the infamous letter I've heard about."
"Yes."
"And you persuaded Gene to take it?"
"Not directly but Arthur did tell him how much I wanted to work with him."
George let his walls down a little bit, "He is a good dancer."
"And a good teacher. He's the best choreographer I've been with. I don't know how I'm going to keep up with him.”
"Please. You're one hell of a fast learner, especially on your feet."
"That's what he tells me. Will you do me a favor?"
"Sure."
"Please give him a chance. You haven't exactly been welcoming to him while we’ve been in pre-production. We start filming next week and I think if you can at least say 'hi' or 'good luck' that will make everything go much more smoothly."
"If it'll make you happy."
"It'll make both of us happy. He’s become a good friend of mine. I care about him a lot and want him to have a nice experience here."
George saw the way Judy turned to look at Gene with a pleasing smile and he leaned down to whisper, "How good a friend?"
Judy immediately made an incredible sound and giggled, "Just friends, I promise. We've become close because he isn't like the other men in this town. He's like you actually, when it comes to me."
"How so?"
"Well, ever since we met, he's treated me like a normal person. You know? The whole 'star' thing didn't shake him up. He understands it, but it doesn't do anything for him. I don't know how else to explain it. It's like how you treat me. You see me as a person. And other than you, Mickey and Uncle Roger, I haven't met anyone else who does that."
Hearing the sincere tone in her voice, he spoke up fondly, "You really do care about him."
"Yes. Darling, if he is successful in this, and I know he will be, he'll go far. I want the world to see what he has to offer."
"Well, then, by all means," George said and he then turned towards the tables speaking loudly, "Hey, Gene!" George put his fingers in his mouth to whistle and repeated, "Kelly!"
Gene had looked up from the table and got up to walk their way when George waved him over.
"How about giving a man a break on the dance floor and cutting in for me," George said cheerfully.
Gene seemed a little taken back at first but relaxed when he saw Judy's silly smile and shake of the head.
"Don't wanna leave a pretty girl on the dance floor alone, do we," George said giving him a friendly pat on the back.
"No, sure don't want that," Gene answered and took Judy in his hold. He waited until George was out of earshot, "Did you slip him a happy pill or something?"
"No," she giggled, "Just told him how it is."
"Oh yeah? How is it," he playfully replied.
"I want him to be nicer to you with filming starting next week. So, I told him that we care about each other and that I really wanted you for this part, so he has no one to blame but me."
"And that worked?"
"Well, it's the truth. After I told him that you treat me like he does, that seemed to change his attitude towards you."
"What, like an actual human being?"
"Yep."
"Well, I appreciate it. He hasn't exactly made rehearsals easy."
"I know. I'm sorry about that. But hopefully things will look up now."
"Except for Berkeley."
"He's not friendly to anyone unless they sign his paycheck. Just ignore him."
"Kind of hard to do with him being the Director and all."
"Just let his attitude roll off your shoulders, that's what I meant.”
"That's hypocritical considering he makes you want to chew bricks. I don't like the pressure he puts on you."
"That's what happens when you're a star, especially at Metro. They expect the best and to them, pressure gets good results."
"Well, I don't have a problem telling him off if I have to."
"I know," she laughed, "But perhaps keep that to yourself for now this being your first film and all. I wouldn't want you to take any chances. I really want us to do this project together."
"Don't worry, we are. By the way, have I said ‘hi’?"
Judy looked up at him directly and smiled, "Hi."
He placed his pointer finger and thumb on her chin to hold her steady a bit as they continued swaying, "Gee, he was right," he said admiring her lightly made-up face, "You are a pretty girl."
Judy's mouth went into an 'o' before she giggled swiping his hand away from her, "Stop."
"Is your husband here tonight?"
"Uh, no. He left yesterday with his band to tour the ship bases in Northern California. How about your wife?"
"Nah. Ya know, as happy as she was to move out here, she doesn't seem to enjoy the nightlife that much."
"Did she go out to clubs in New York?"
"That's the thing, she went out all the time in New York, while I was a homebody."
"Odd."
"We've switched roles," he joked, "Here, I've become the social butterfly and she's become a homebody. Which, I don't mind at all. I want her to be comfortable."
"Well, you'll never be alone when you come out. There's always going to be somebody you know almost everywhere you go."
"Hopefully, you'll be one of them."
"I have so far, haven't I?"
"That you have," as the band stopped to take a break, he held his arm out to motion for her to make her way back to their table, "Shall we?"
As Judy sashayed her way around people and tables, she felt Gene's hand go to her lower back. It was a normal gesture, as it was natural for a male companion to do out of genuine care, but for some reason she got a different feeling when he did it. She liked it.
After Gene held her chair out for her, he brushed up against her arm as he took his own seat. Again, another normal thing to happen, but Judy had a quick thought of wanting his arm draped around her shoulder. Judy kneaded her eyebrows wondering where that thought came from. Gene had touched her many times while they rehearsed their dances and they had shared hugs; not to mention, they had even lip locked when she showed him how to kiss on screen, so her curiosity peaked as to why she suddenly was responding to his touch.
As Gene readjusted in his seat, he mindlessly glanced at Judy next to him but did a double take when noticed her gaze down his body looking intrigued. Was she...checking him out? When her eyes met his, she immediately looked away. Now he was intrigued.
A little later, Gene was enjoying a slice of vanilla bean cheesecake and listening to everyone's conversation which included a lot of infectious giggles from Ms. Garland. It always made him smile. When he noticed Judy's eyes dart to his dessert every-so-often, even though she had refused the dessert selection herself, he had to offer her some.
"Want a bite?"
"Hm?"
"Here," he said dipping his fork at the end to get a good piece.
"No, I really shouldn't. I had some cookies earlier."
"Then why are you staring at my cheesecake like it's about to walk away? One bite won't hurt you. Here," he insisted and lifted the fork towards her.
Gene didn't know what went over him, but as she slowly took the bite off the fork intricately as not to ruin her lipstick, he found himself entranced. Her plush, rosy lips, the quick glance of her tongue, the appreciative sound she made as she tasted it...it made him feel something deep inside.
When Judy glanced up at him, as she bit the piece from his fork, she noticed he was staring at her with an expression she hadn't quite seen from him before. She quickly realized that it looked seductive, so she brought her napkin up to her lips and let out a fake giggle to lighten the situation.
"Golly, that's good. Don't offer me anymore or I might end up eating the rest."
Gene cleared his throat and scooted the small plate towards her, "Have at it. I'm full anyways."
"You only had two bites."
"But it's filling," he replied without a smile, clearly not interested in his food anymore.
"No," she shook her head and pushed it back.
"Hell," Lucille said and snatched the plate towards her, "No wasting good cheesecake. I'll take it."
Judy smiled and reached for a cigarette. As she did so, Gene reached at the same time and their hands touched. She became still but he immediately pulled away and reached for his own carton in his suit jacket. She pulled out one from the Chesterfield carton that had been on the table as he placed his own between his lips. He immediately lit hers for her before lighting his own. The silence between them was as thick as their intertwined cigarette smoke.
Fortunately, as the night went on, their unusual awkwardness fizzled away as fast as it had been ignited. By 2 am, the place started to settle down into a more mellow, less loud, atmosphere. And Judy was getting sleepy. She was about to go find her buddy Mickey, who had driven her there, when he rushed up with a smitten Ava a few feet behind him.
"Honey, we're gonna skadaddle outta here. Do you think you'll be able to find a ride home?"
"Oh, good. I was just wanting to leave," Judy said reaching for her pocketbook, but Mickey placed his hand on her shoulder to stop her from getting up.
"Uh," he looked back at his wife, "Right now, three's kinda a crowd...if you know what I mean."
"Mick..for pete's sake," Judy said annoyed.
Mickey smiled and wiggled his eyebrows at Gene who chuckled, "Don't worry, I'll drive her home. Get out of here."
"Thanks a bunch. Bye," he leaned in and gave Judy a sloppy kiss on the cheek for fun but she swatted him away before he ran back to his brunette bombshell.
"Can't even wait to get home," she shook her head, "Unbelievable."
"That’s naturally what happens when two people are into one another. It hits ya...just like that," he snapped.
Judy gave him a sly eye and mumbled under her breath, "I wouldn't know."
Gene heard it. Not only was he a bit surprised but he felt a little bad for her as well considering she was a married woman even at her young age.
"You ready to go?"
"Please."
Bing Crosby crooned through Gene's car speakers as they drove up the hill towards Judy's neighborhood. He watched as she acted like it was her first convertible ride, enjoying the warm night breeze through her hair and looking all around content as one could be. She seemed to study everything from the tall palms above their heads, to the lights twinkling down in the valley, to the marvelous Spanish-styled houses lit up in garden lights.
"If everyone could be as relaxed as you are right now, there'd be no crimes in the world," Judy smiled at him as she held some hair out of her face and he continued, "You've been here since you were a kid. Doesn't all this ever get old?"
"The business part of Los Angeles, yes. But I love California and I never get tired of night drives. Look how pretty everything is."
Gene looked around himself and noticed how nice the city lights down below looked in the black sky, "I guess I just haven't really paid much attention."
"You should look around then. You'll notice a lot more than just the road in front of you."
Gene rolled to a stop in front of her house and looked at her sincerely, his voice soft, "I've noticed a few things."
Judy felt butterflies suddenly envelop in her tummy and this time she didn't try to justify them. Instead, she lifted her big eyelashes up at him, innocently speaking, "Like what?"
"Well, for one, that you're a lot more than you think you are and two...you're a lot less happy than you put on."
Judy took a little 'taken aback' breath in and turned her head away from him to stare at her empty, dark home. She felt her eyes tear up.
"Gosh, is it that obvious," she faked a giggle.
"You're a very good actress so probably only to me...maybe Roger, too, based on what you told me."
"Yeah," she mumbled and leaned her head back against the seat.
There was a silence for a moment until he spoke up concerned, "Judy?"
"Hm," she said turning to look at him.
"Are you loved enough?"
"That’s a silly question.”
“What’s the answer?”
“What is 'enough'?"
That response alone told Gene everything he needed to know, but he rephrased himself, "Are you loved?"
Judy hesitated a moment, as they stared at one another. His seriousness of the question almost penetrated her soul. It was like he saw right through her, as if she were glass.
"My fans love me," she smiled warmly, "Roger and Mickey love me. My doggie loves me," her smile faded a bit, "But the person that loved me the most, I think, was my father. And, as you know, he is no longer with us."
Gene knew how hard that had been for her, but he also recognized straight away that she didn't even mention her own husband.
He took her hand and squeezed it, "Edens and Rooney aren't the only ones to count on that list. You know, I want the very best for you and I'll be here for you no matter what."
"Thank you, Gene. That means a lot. And thank you for the ride home."
"Anytime."
Judy leaned over to give him a kiss on his cheek, but something took over her, and right before she kissed his skin, she paused a moment. Turning her face, her lips slowly went towards his, but Gene quickly turned his head. Judy pulled back before her lips went to his cheek where she had first intended them to go. She seemed a bit stunned, not with him, but herself. She realized she nearly crossed a bridge, one that could have ruined their friendship.
"I'm sorry," she quickly apologized and reached to open the door but it wouldn’t budge. She tried again, harder.
“The lock sticks,” he said as uncomfortable as she was, “Here...”
Gene leaned over her to reach and fiddle with the lock. As he did, Judy remained frozen as they were in close proximity again. He didn’t mean to, but his eyes glanced down at her face very close to his and he leaned back up in his seat.
“You should get that fixed,” she said half-serious and half-teasing as she got out of the car.
Gene waited until her front door shut behind her before driving off. But, he only made it two houses down before his car came to a halt again. So many questions rattled his brain. Why did she try to kiss him? Why now? She had never shown interest in him like that before. She hadn't even been drinking alcohol that evening, so he knew that wasn't an excuse on her part. Gene didn't want to admit it, but he almost wanted that kiss to happen himself.
Sighing, he leaned his head back against the headrest, "Shit."
When my sugar walks down the street
All the little birdies go tweet, tweet, tweet.
And in the evening when the sun goes down
It's never dark when she's around...
Gene was perched against one of the windowsills, in a rehearsal hall at Metro, watching Roger Edens play the quick Vaudeville tune at the piano as Judy sang with him. Gene bounced his heel to the melody, but bit-picked on his thumbnail in an anxious manner.
Judy had barely looked at him since they got there. She had said 'hi' in a friendly manner when he had greeted her, but she half-assed a hug and didn't quite meet his eyes. When they had rehearsed singing, 'When You Wore a Tulip', the spunk in her voice was there, but her enthusiasm and animation towards him was gone. He knew she was purposefully trying not to make eye contact.
Was she angry at him for not letting her kiss him? Was she embarrassed because he didn't? Was she just embarrassed herself?
"Ok, I'm here!"
The music stopped when George Bassman, the vocal and orchestration coach on the film, came walking into the room with his sturdy briefcase of musical arrangements.
"Where's Georgie," Judy asked about her musical director friend, Georgie Stroll.
"He had a meeting with the Freed unit. It’s just me today, sweetheart."
As George went over to Roger, Gene watched as Judy walked on over to him in a lazy manner. She didn't look at him, but she leaned against the wall next to him. He took that as a sign that she wasn't ignoring him completely.
"You sounded good on that song."
"We were just killing time."
"It's a fun song though. You should record it sometime.”
When he saw Judy smile, he relaxed a bit and took it a step further lowering his voice, "Listen, Judy, last night..."
Judy let out a sigh, as if she knew this were coming, and she crossed her arms, "Oh, please, can we just forget about it?"
"I don't want to forget about it."
Judy suddenly looked up at him, actually looking at him, and he couldn't quite read her expression. She looked confused, humiliated, curious and a bit irritated all in one look.
He continued softly, "But I would like to talk about it,"
Judy shook her head and went to walk away but he quickly grabbed her wrist, pulling her back, "That way the air is clear and you can go back to being comfortable around me."
"There is nothing to clear and I am comfortable with you," she defended.
"This is the first time you've looked at me all morning. Don't tell me it's not because of last night."
Judy looked back at the men over by the piano before she turned back to Gene her voice a whisper, "I apologized. Please, Gene, just pretend nothing happened."
She went to turn again, but he said her name almost desperately, "Judy..."
It was enough for her to to look back at him. He had something to say, but her expression, and those eyes, he suddenly felt that unintentional magnetic pull she embodied. He stood there not knowing where his words went.
"I think they're ready for us," she softly said.
Gene followed Judy to the men who instructed they wanted her to rehearse her song 'After You're Gone' before they rehearsed the title tune.
At the piano, Gene sat next to Edens as George stood next to Judy holding the lyrics for her, reading each word as she sung. He wasn't listening to her, however. Her voice, the music, the men directing, everything tuned out for Gene as he got lost in his thoughts.
What would have happened if he had kissed her? He knew he would've escalated it to more than just a kiss, as any normal hot-blooded man would with a beautiful woman. But he'd never use a girl like Judy, ever. Nor, had he even thought about being with another woman since Betsy came into his life. But now he was trying to suppress thoughts of kissing and fooling around with his friend. Why her? He had been around plenty of other attractive females, especially since moving to Los Angeles. Was he intrigued because, at least for a moment last night, Judy wanted him?
Gene glanced up at Judy as she sang, in that exquisite voice of hers. Her eyes fluttered closed as she put her emotion into it, feeling the note as it rolled up her throat past her tongue and into their ears. He didn't mean to, but his eyes traveled from her plush lips down her milky throat and to her chest. When she leaned over a bit to reach for the next page that Roger pushed her way, he got a glimpse of her cleavage; her small but full breasts slightly pushed together underneath her dress. When he realized not only his mind, but his body, was betraying itself, and he had no control, he got impatient at himself.
In her last note, Judy had mindlessly glanced down at Gene, but noticed him looking down and looking angry as he shook his head. Her eyebrows kneaded confused as she ended her note. Roger and George immediately praised and applauded but Gene pushed himself off the piano stool and walked over to the opposite wall, his hands on his hips.
Roger noticed his demeanor as well, and turned to look back at Gene, but George quickly got his attention pointing out something he had jotted down on the lyric sheet. Judy watched as Gene kind of paced and suddenly felt like crying. This was not like him. He was angry. She really did screw things up for them, didn’t she?
"Mr. Edens," an assistant called out from the doorway.
"Yes?"
"Mr. Freed is on the phone with Mr. Stroll. They'd like to speak to you and Mr. Bassman."
"Thank you, Bobby. Judy, Gene, we'll be right back," Roger said as he and George headed out.
Judy stood still, her hands clasped in front of her, as she watched Gene. He had glanced over his shoulder as the men walked out, but continued facing the mirrored wall. She could see his reflection and he wasn't happy.
"I knew you were mad at me," Judy said softly.
Gene became still and looked up, meeting her eyes in the reflection. He saw the shame on her face and relaxed his shoulders, "I'm not mad at you."
"Then why..." she started to say taking a step forward but he interrupted her.
"I'm mad at myself."
"What ever for," Judy asked concerned.
Instead of answering, he turned the question on her, "Why last night?"
The question seemed to throw her off, and her voice became shaky, "What?"
Gene turned around to face her, "I'd like to know."
"I-I don't know. I guess I just...got lost in the moment, you know, after what we were talking about."
Gene sort of ignored her, "Was it because you're lonely?"
Judy placed her hands on her hips in defense, "I am not lonely."
"Regarding your husband, you sure as hell are. Not once did you mention David on that list of people who love you."
Judy stepped forward, her voice raised, "You have some nerve."
Her shock didn't faze him, "I tell it like it is, darling. I'm a no bullshit guy, remember? And I'm your friend, so I ain't beating around the bush."
"Unless what I share with you, my marriage is none of your business. I don't go and ask you why you're not home with your wife every night. Even if she doesn't want to go out, a man in-love would want to be around his girl no matter where they were."
That honest comment seemed to hit Gene's guilt right in the gut.
"My husband is a homebody but at least he comes out with me."
"Yeah, when he's actually home. And even then, you said most of the time he locks himself in his office writing music or playing with some god damn train in the backyard."
"At least he makes an effort when I ask. I don't see Betsy on your arm at the clubs.” The two became silent for a long moment and Judy had quite enough, "Why are we fighting?"
Gene sighed and ran his hand through his hair, "We're not. I'm just trying to make sense of things."
"What things? I told you I got lost in a moment and I apologized. What else is there?"
"Why wouldn't look me in the eye earlier," Gene asked. Judy crossed her arms and looked down at her foot pretending to scoot away a dust bunny. "Were you embarrassed? I mean, maybe I'm the first man that didn't kiss you and you're feeling bad about that."
Judy's mouth opened in shock, not believing the audacity, "Gene Kelly."
"Because let me tell you something sweetheart, I am not like all those other men. I am not one of those sex hungry wolves around Hollywood trying to get their taste of a starlet just to brag or boost their ego."
The corner of Judy's mouth twitched into a smile, but she knew he was having a moment, so she bit it off, trying to stay serious for his sake.
"And when it comes to someone like you..." he stopped and clenched his jaw as he looked her up and down a moment, "...I certainly wouldn't get involved because of those reasons. And I definitely wouldn't play around with your heart like that Artie Shoe, or Shawl, guy you told me about."
"It's Shaw," she simply said with a raised eyebrow.
He waved his hand uninterested, "Whatever."
Judy secretly loved the fact that he spoke so bluntly with her, "Are you finished?"
Gene didn't answer, as he was a little taken back by how stoic she suddenly seemed.
"You don't have to prove anything to me, Darling. I know you're not like those men. I can really by myself with you and I'm so happy to call you my friend."
He was appreciative, sure, and proud, but suddenly the title 'friend' made him feel disappointed in a way. Another feeling that got him angry with himself.
"Last night was not because I was lonely, or because my marriage isn't exactly sunshine and roses, and it certainly wasn't just for 'giggles'. Please do not repeat this, but if I wanted any of that, there are some men that have made a pass on me before who would take me up on that kind of offer in heartbeat."
Gene didn't say it out loud, but he was damn well certain that many men, particularly producers and directors, would give up their left nut to jump in the sac with the reigning MGM Princess. Her voice alone could give a man a hard on. He was also certain she was aware of that, though she'd never be vulgar enough to say it.
"I don't doubt that. You're quite the catch, Judy," he said in a tone that was complimentary, not insulting.
"Look, I’m young, but I'm not naive, Gene. I know men would want the celebrity version of me. They don't want *me*. Like you, I too am selective with who I kiss, or who I let kiss me. And yes, I was embarrassed at myself. I realized I almost messed up something good that we have. I don't know why I tried in that moment. I don't know why I'm suddenly attracted to you. I value our friendship so much. I respect you and all that you've done for me. I don't want this to screw that up."
"You're attracted to me," he asked with a stunned blink.
He was a little surprised and impressed that she had just come out and said it. Judy couldn't believe either that she said it so normally and casual like that. It was just that ease she felt around him.
Instead of answering, she went around it, "You never answered my question earlier."
"What question?"
"Why are you mad at yourself?"
Gene knew she deserved the truth, just like she had given him, "Because I..." he paused with frustration. In his mind all he could think was 'fuck'. He knew he was about to cross some type of bridge regarding their friendship, one that she just admitted to not wanting to mess up,"...I wanted to kiss you back."
When Judy didn't answer or show any change on her face, he continued, "I can lie and say I was a little mad at you for starting this, but the truth is I started to feel something for you too last night, before the car ride home. I don't know why. Maybe it's just something that'll pass, you know? We both don't want to ruin what we have. So, as long as the air is all cleared now, perhaps we can finally just move past it."
"Kiss me back?"
"What?"
"You said you wanted to kiss me back," she reiterated. He stared at her with apprehension and her voice almost became a whisper as she stated, "I never kissed you."
Gene's chest started to heave a bit. On his drive home, he had envisioned her kissing him, and what her lips had felt like. It had been so real in his mind that he forgot that it had never actually happened. And this whole conversation was about him dodging her kiss. It was Gene's turn to be embarrassed. His face turned red.
She watched as Gene nervously grabbed a carton of cigarettes from his pocket and took one out. "You turned your head," she reminded him, as he offered her one and she shook her head 'no'.
He placed one in his mouth and responded, mumbling with the cigarette dangling between his lips, "Well, would you have stopped if I hadn't?"
Her heels clicked on the floor as she took a few steps past him, and turned to look at him over her shoulder, "Not in that moment, no."
"Then it's good that I did. We clearly agree that we wouldn't want to mess things up, right?"
He lit his lighter and leaned into the flame. He heard her heels come up right behind him, and even though she wasn't touching him, he could feel her.
"Right."
As he exhaled, with his back still to her, he could feel her eyes penetrating through him. The steel door suddenly opening made both of them flinch as they turned their attention to Roger who walked back into the room, but instead of George he was with their choreographer Bobby Connelly.
"Alight," Roger said clapping his hands as he walked towards them, "Change of plans. Buzz sent Bob over to work on the 'My Gal' number."
"One George came instead of the other, and now both are missing," Judy joked.
Gene took a step to her, "Let's put our best acting faces on and get through this, ok?"
Judy nudged her shoulder as if they hadn't just turned some form of a new leaf in their relationship and walked past him nose up, "I haven't the slightest idea what you're talking about."
He couldn't help but smile.
The cool air, after a muggy day, was such a great respite for Gene as he finished sanding a used antique bedside table in his backyard. Painting it was next, but he needed a break. He laid on the hammock and crossed his ankles in content as he placed his hands under his head. The crickets, the breeze, the radio playing from inside the open kitchen window was so relaxing after a busy day. He could have come home and rest instead of keeping himself busy, but keeping himself busy kept his mind busy as well.
Gene closed his eyes and listened to the echo of the mellow music and the sound of his wife doing the dishes in the sink through the open window. He quickly drifted off, his mind focusing more on the music than the kitchen sink. He suddenly imagined himself surrounded by all his friends, at one of the nightclubs on Sunset Boulevard, as the live music echoed around them. Their laughter was usually the loudest out of all the tables. The Paramount and 20th Century Fox tables were always more subdue and a little stuck up.
One of the first times he had gone out with his new fellow Metro peers, Van had stood up on his chair and impersonated Louis B Mayer with a voice that mirrored the voice of Burt Lahr as the Cowardly Lion. This had Judy in hysterics. Eyes still shut, Gene smiled at the memory. She was so easy to impress, in a comedic sense. She loved laughing and could laugh at the drop of a hat. She also loved making people laugh. That was something he loved the most about her: her humor. Where was she tonight, he wondered. Another club? A friend's house? Home alone relaxing herself, perhaps? No, she most definitely would not be home, not with her husband gone. She said she wasn't lonely, but he knew she didn't like to be completely home alone. If she were home, she probably was hosting a small gathering herself. She would invite him...wouldn't she? He was certain she would, if it was a co-ed gathering. They were in good standing.
Fortunately, they went into work mode and got through the rest of that last rehearsal with ease. Their 'My Gal' dance went swimmingly and was fun. And, most importantly, they laughed together. It relaxed both of them. At the end of the day, everything felt like it used to be. They even shared a friendly hug goodbye without hesitation. Perhaps, after their conversation earlier, followed by that rehearsal, things were back to normal. Perhaps that mutual attraction had just been a fleeing moment.
Gene was so lost in his thoughts he hadn't heard the telephone ringing from inside. He was finally brought back to reality when Betsy called out the screen door that he had a phone call from Van.
It was quiet...too quiet. Clad only in her beige girdle and stockings, Judy peeked out her white, bedroom drapes blowing in the breeze. Except for an elderly man walking his dog, all she could see was her dark, deserted street. Bel Air was well known to be more exclusive and private than that of Beverly Hills. At the time, she thought she'd love it. It would give them some solitude to start a life together. Things didn't exactly pan out the way she hoped but she continued to do her best to compromise and be understanding. At least when Dave was home, she could hear his train going in the backyard or his news radio from his office. With no husband, no assistants, no mother and no phone ringing, all she could hear were crickets and traffic noise echoing in the distance from the expressway. She felt isolated and she hated it.
Walking over to the radio on her makeup table, she switched it on. She felt a sudden calmness wash over her when she heard the laughter of Bob Hope's audience. That was better, she thought, as she sat down at her vanity. Taking the clip out of her hair, she started brushing her delicate curls.
"...And now ladies and gentleman, and non-gentleman," Bob joked which made the audience giggle, "We have a rising film star with us tonight. You may know him as a Broadway star, most notably playing the lead in the popular stage production 'Pal Joey'. He is a handsome fellow, and one of the kindest guys out there. From New York to Hollywood, please welcome Mr. Gene Kelly."
Judy paused her brushing hearing Gene's name.
"Thank you, Bob. Gee, that was swell."
"Did I hit that introduction, right?"
"Well, I don't know about rising film star, that's a little early to say, but I am indeed filming a movie."
"'For Me and My Gal' an early Vaudeville war-romance musical for Metro Goldwyn Mayer."
"That's right."
"Your first film ever and you're playing the lead?"
"I am one of the leads, indeed," Gene cut in.
"Then you might as well start getting your hands ready."
"For what?"
"The cement at Grauman's Chinese Theater."
Judy rest her chin on her hand as she listened, and she smiled as the audience laughed and clapped.
"I humbly thank you," Gene chuckled, "But let's not get ahead of ourselves, Bob. I mean, you haven't even felt that wet cement yourself yet."
The audience laughed hysterically, probably at the fake-insulted face Bob purposely made. Judy knew Gene was just reading from a script, but she couldn't help but giggle against her fingertip as she bit on her nail amused.
"Speaking of stars that don't have their handprints at Grauman's, I know someone who does. Your co-star in the film, Miss Judy Garland."
The audience cheered and clapped to which Judy sat back up to continue with her hair. Her ego never got the best of her whenever her name was brought up.
"That's another milestone for your first film, working alongside Miss Garland. She's a doll, Gene."
"Oh, I know it, Bob. I am very lucky and very proud to know her."
"How's the production coming along?"
"Well, we haven't started filming yet, that's coming up shortly. But, so far pre-production has been wonderful."
"Hard work I assume?"
"It's been hard work, boy, let me tell you, but it's also been exciting and a great learning outlet. I owe a lot to Miss Garland for getting me through this new experience. I sure hope she knows that."
"Judy is a bright, observative girl. I'm sure she does."
Judy answered as she ran her fingers through her hair, "She does."
"Say, Gene, do you have any fluffy love scenes with Judy?"
"Of course. You'll love the picture. Sappy stuff is right up your alley, ain't it?"
"Yes, I love maple syrup."
"That one wasn't your best, Bob," Judy mumbled as she set her brush down.
"So, a Metro production, Gene, I assume there's lots of musical numbers?"
"Well, I'd hope so, assuming that is a musical."
"You're an amazing dancer, Gene. Do you have a lot of dance numbers?"
"We have some great ones."
"Getting ready for the film, what has been your absolute favorite part?"
"Getting to kiss Judy, of course."
Judy looked up and stared at her own big eyes staring back through the reflection. Why did he say that? After everything, he had to say that? Of course their characters would kiss but he said Judy. For a moment, Judy didn't quite see herself in the mirror anymore. In her mind, all she saw was Gene's lips as she was leaning forward to kiss them last night.
She quickly shook her head, "Frances, stop it," she whispered giving herself a bit of a strict talk.
Suddenly the phone rang, startling her a bit. She shut the radio off and quickly answered the phone assuming it to be her husband.
"Darling. Oh," Judy giggled, "Sorry, honey. I thought you were Dave. Yes. Of course, I'd love to. Casual? Good, because I almost just started getting ready for bed. Down boy," Judy giggled with a flirty tone, "I'll be over in a bit."
Gene was walking up the sidewalk in front of Van's house, when he stopped short. Judy was walking up the other side, fiddling for something in her handbag, oblivious to his presence. He didn't know why he found himself so surprised to see her. Maybe it wasn't surprise, it felt more like nerves. He took the moment to observe how cute she looked, since she was pre-occupied. She must have gotten the same 'casual' attire that Van insisted on. She wore one of her short, practice skorts, her short-sleeved, white blouse was tied together at the waist, her hair was down and loose, and she wore a pair of flats. He wasn't used to seeing her outside of work without being all dolled up for a nightclub.
"If you don't pay attention to where you're going, you might bump into something," Gene said quickly, before she did just that. It startled her so much, she gasped and took a few steps stumbling back, her hair in front of her eye.
"Or someone,” he teased.
"Gene," she said shaking her head to get the hair off her face.
"You're lucky. I could have been a light post, you know, and then you'd have to explain that black eye."
"I was trying to make sure I had my house key. But turns out I forgot it."
"That's a problem if you locked your doors."
She smiled, "Indeed."
"Why did you seem so shocked to see me just now?"
"Well, I thought you'd be in Culver City."
"Why's that," he asked curiously.
"For Bob Hope's radio show. I just heard you on there a little bit ago."
"Oh, shit, that was tonight? I was supposed to remind Bets. She wanted to listen to it."
It suddenly hit Judy: of course the radio show was taped in advance.
"I don't know where my head is. I've literally done dozens of radio shows and here I am forgetting they're recorded in advance, especially Bob's."
"You're knocking yourself down this bad just because you thought I'd be in the Valley than here at Van's?"
"It's just..." Judy remembered his statement about kissing her and she realized it was not only scripted, but Gene had made that comment before last night even happened. She decided not to open another can of worms, "Never mind."
"Ok," he offered his arm to escort her up the walkway, "Shall we?"
"We shall."
There were only about a dozen people scattered around Van's living room as they shared stories, and listened to the latest gossip, all the while sipping some expensive liquor. With no formality, or uptight manners like at other parties, Gene was gladly seated back in a recliner in pure content as he sipped on some Burbon. It was a very relaxed evening with some great, new friends.
The turntable in the corner played so low you could hear the grandfather clock ticking over their quiet chit chat. Gene's eyes scanned around the room. Van had some great art collections and plenty of photographs with notable celebrities. When he looked down from the fireplace mantle, that had tiny, marble Dutch figurines lined up there, his eyes fell upon Judy. She was sitting in a black accent chair that just swallowed her tiny frame. She, herself, took advantage of the casual atmosphere as her legs swung over the side and her body was slouched into the chair looking very comfy.
Gene tilt his head as he noticed her staring at her crystal champagne glass. Slowly, she ran her finger around the edge then a little more prominently until he could hear the high-pitch singing come from the glass. Her lips curved into a smile. He wasn't sure if it was from the stupid joke Van had just made or her amusement at the vibration of the crystal.
After taking a sip of champagne, she turned her attention back to her friends, but her finger remained caressing the glass. He watched as she slowly ran her digit down the flute and back up in an enticing manner. He had a sudden thought of feeling her fingertips on his skin. Would she caress him like she did the glass, so titillating and thorough?
There ya go again, Gene.
Rolling his eyes, he tossed his head back just enough to toss back the remaining Bourbon and pushed himself up to walk over to the mini bar. Instead of more of the brown liquid, Gene opted for some ice water instead. Leaning against the bar, he switched the water around his mouth to give him a clean taste. With Judy lounging just next to him, he got a clear vantage of her legs. She bent one of her legs up as she giggled at something someone said before reaching for their hand. Gene swallowed the water hard, as his eyes scanned her perfect, bare legs. He had seen her legs many times. He appreciated them as he appreciated a nice pair of stems on any woman. He was a dancer after all. But, on Judy, they were....just magnificent and sexy. His eyes traveled up her calves and around her thighs. With her bent leg, his eyes almost had access to what lay underneath that short skirt.
Gene sighed and set his glass down as he turned his back to the party.
What the fuck? He was a happily married man for Christ sakes. Looking up out the bay window in front of him, Gene saw his reflection on the glass and pondered. He was happy, wasn't he? He sure used to be. Content was more appropriate and that included his love life. The heat and the spontaneity was not there right now but that was normal for any marriage...wasn't it? He had to stop these thoughts and he knew there was only one way to do that.
Turning around, he went to get Judy's attention, but she was already staring his way. Her expression showed him that she could sense the tension coming off of him.
Extending his hand, he urged her to get up, "Will you come with me for a sec, I want to see something."
"Sure," Judy replied in a friendly tone as she placed her hand in his.
He easily helped her up and set her flute down before walking out of the room hand-in-hand. Their steps were so casual, no one took notice of them.
As they crossed the kitchen towards the back patio door, Judy spoke up curiously, "What do you want to see?"
Gene looked to make sure no one was in the backyard smoking, before he motioned for her to step outside before him, "Just...something."
Judy stood there as he shut the screen door and again he looked around. With the porch and pool lights on, there was too much exposure. He needed privacy.
"Here," he said taking her hand leading her towards the side of the house where it was dark.
Judy's heart started racing as they were shielded by complete darkness between the brick house and tall bushes. Her sudden inclination of what was happening was confirmed when he took a step into her, his hand gently going to her neck.
She couldn't see him clearly to read his expression, but she could sense the uncertainness and anxiety washing off him. When he hadn't just pushed her up against the house and kissed her passionately like in some Cary Grant picture, Judy realized that she indeed wanted him to do just that. Her rational explanations and all the confusion and worry she had previously had about her sudden attraction towards Gene just disappeared. Her heart, and her body, wanted this.
Wanted him.
When Gene's head slowly started to lean towards her, Judy couldn't help but whisper, "Should I turn my head?"
If that question was because of nerves, she had no idea, but she had to say something to remind him it was *her*.
"That's your call," he said as he stilled his lips before they touched hers.
When she didn't turn her cheek to him like he had done to her, Gene closed the gap between their mouths. Judy’s eyes fluttered down as he ever-so-gently pulled at her lower lip between his. He broke contact and did it again before moving up to her upper lip. Their lips made an enticing sound as he slowly pulled away just enough to look at her face. Her mouth was slightly parted, her eyes still shut.
God, he had to.
Judy was about to open her eyes, feeling a bit disappointed, when all of a sudden she felt his mouth on hers again, this time more passionately. She made just a tiny sound at the surprise contact but accepted whole-heartedly. She placed her hands behind his head, kissing him back. But, their lips smooshing together was not enough. Gene pressed his body against hers a bit more as he re-angled his mouth against hers. Not surprisingly, her mouth was already parted to accept him as his open mouth collided with hers. He immediately felt her tongue against his lower lip and in return slid his against hers fully.
This was definitely not like the on-screen kiss they had rehearsed. This was...Gene felt how she eagerly pulled against his mouth...oh so good. But how could something that was so wrong, feel so great? Gene dis-heartedly pulled away from their kiss but remained in close contact.
Judy let out a breath and looked up at him with those big eyes of hers, “Is that what you wanted to see?”
Gene sighed and took a step back from her, “I know how we left things at the rehearsal hall, but I still can’t stop thinking about you. It’s like a door opened, you know? I thought if I kissed you, there’d be no spark and maybe the attraction I have for you would go away. We could close that door and move on.”
Even though they were in a serious situation, Judy found it amusing that he’d think that especially since her attraction towards him had just tripled after this encounter.
“Did it work,” she asked.
Seeing the glimmer in her eye, and a slight upturn on her lips, Gene couldn’t help but laugh embarrassed as he placed his hand over his mouth. They both knew how amazing that kiss felt together.
“No.”
Judy laughed and placed her hands together behind her back as she gently bopped her back against the brick building like a schoolgirl with a crush.
“I guess I had hoped it would feel like kissing my sister or something and that we could still have a platonic friendship...like you and Mickey.”
Gene placed his hands in his pockets and looked away, as if trying to make sense of everything.
Judy decided to test the waters, “We still can.”
Gene turned his neck to look at her in the darkness, “Yes, but after that...I’m not sure I want to now.”
“What are you saying?”
“I don’t know what I’m saying, Judy,” Gene said frustrated as he ran a hand through his hair.
Judy took the few steps to him and placed her hand on his arm, “I’m as confused as you are, but you need to be honest with me so we can deal with this. What are you thinking?”
“I’m thinking, I’ve never wanted to kiss or touch another woman since Betsy came into my life and I still don’t want any other woman...but I think I want you. I don’t know, I can’t make that decision yet.”
Judy was silent for a long moment until Gene spoke up, “Your turn.”
“I’m thinking that when you were kissing me just now, it felt so right.”
“That’s funny.”
“What?”
“I thought the same thing. Things that are wrong often do feel good, don’t they?”
“It *is* wrong, isn’t it,” she practically pleaded.
“Judging from our circumstances, I’d say so.”
“So, what do we do?”
“Well, we can push past how we feel and hope it will fade away or...”
“Or?”
“Just see what happens.”
“Well, I don’t know about you, but I’m not very good at ignoring my feelings.”
“Even in our profession?”
“Shocking, I know,” she smiled but then her face got serious again, “I’m going to go back inside and maybe we should keep some distance the rest of the evening?”
Gene nodded and looked down at his feet. Before he could even think of anything to respond with, she was gone, away from the shadows.
The rest of the evening, the two kept apart, conversing with people on other sides of the room but that didn’t defer from an exchange of glances and friendly smiles.
When it came time to leave, Judy head straight to Paul, one of the popular assistant directors at Metro and her friend.
“Paul, darling, would you mind following me home? I forgot my house key and I might need help.”
“Oh, sure baby, but is there anyone else that is going your way? I have to head the opposite direction to La Cienega.”
“Oh, well, I’m sure I can find...”
“Gene lives that way into Beverly Hills, don’t he? Hey, Gene,” Paul yelled to Gene who was near the front door getting ready to leave.
“Oh, no, Paul, I don’t think...” Judy tried to cut in but Paul was too quick and head over to meet Gene halfway.
She watched as the two men conversed before Gene looked over her way before nodding.
In Judy’s dark backyard, Gene followed behind her as she walked towards her back patio door that led into the kitchen.
“I hope it’s unlocked,” she mumbled and tried the doorknob, “Dammit.”
“No luck,” Gene asked.
“No luck. I have a habit of leaving it unlocked but the housekeeper locks it.”
“You should probably get a hide-a-key in the future.”
“Yes,” she giggled.
“Does anyone else you know have a key? Your mother?”
“Oh golly, no. Can you imagine if that woman had a key to my house? She’d always be here, and I’d go insane.”
“Well, what’s plan B?”
“I guess I can try the windows,” she said disheartened before she looked up at the porch above them, where her bedroom veranda doors were, “Oh! I think those doors are unlocked.”
“Find me something to stand on and I’ll climb up there.”
“Here, just give me a boost up.”
“Judy, I can do it.”
“I have nothing for you to stand on and I’m certainly not giving you a boost. I’m a good climber. Come on.”
Gene sighed heavily before he bent down and cupped his hands. Judy placed her foot in his hands and, after bouncing to get some momentum going, he swiftly boosted her right up. She was tiny, so it wasn’t overwhelming to keep her up as she grabbed onto the wooden beams of the porch.
“So much for keeping distant,” he teased as he held her steady, her back calves right in front of his face.
Judy stopped a moment laughing before she climbed the rest of the way up and over the balcony. She then opened the door with no hesitation.
“I’m in,” she said as she looked down at Gene.
“Good. Let this be a lesson, huh?”
“I know,” she whined.
“I guess I’ll be going then.”
“Would you like to come in for a drink or a cup of tea or coffee?”
Gene hesitated, “Oh, uh, I don’t know. Maybe not the best idea, Judy.”
He started to walk but Judy spoke up, “Gene,” he looked back up at her as she leaned her arms on the balcony and smiled ridiculously, “Do you really think I would seduce you in my husband’s house?”
Gene couldn’t help but blush, but he chuckled at the reality of that. She definitely was not that type of girl, or person of that matter.
“I’m just offering you a drink as a thank you. It's the least I can do.”
Gene immediately relaxed seeing the sincerity in her voice, “Sure. I’ll meet you at the front door.”
The grandfather clock ticked in the empty living room as Gene looked at some framed photos on the mantle. He could hear Judy bustling around in the adjacent sitting room where the mini bar was as he picked up a headshot photo of Fanny Brice from the 1920s which was autographed.
“Acting funny is success, but naturally funny is life. Keep at it, kid – F “
Gene set the picture back down impressed, “How do you know Fannie Brice?”
Judy’s voice came from the other room, “We did a film together. ‘Everybody Sing’.”
“Oh, I’m sorry. I never heard of it.”
“It’s alright. It was before I even did Wizard of Oz.”
He turned and walked towards the entertainment set up which had him even more impressed. They had a state of the ark Mahoganey record stand nearly as long as the entire wall it sat up against with built in cupboards and expensive knickknacks. The large record player and speakers were impressive as well as the hundreds of vinyl’s organized and lined up on the bottom.
He picked up one of the records lying next to the player, “Oh, wow.”
“What,” she called out.
“You have a mighty impressive entertainment section here, sweetheart.”
Judy walked into the room with their cocktails, “Thank you. I’m very proud of it. It’s one of the few things David and I actually have in common.”
“Well, with a composer and singer married, I would hope so.”
Judy giggled, “What I meant was that we both have a really great collection of records. We love rare music. You’ll find a lot of first edition records and out of print records in there as well.”
“May I look?”
“Sure,” she gladly said and sat down on the couch with her drink.
Gene browsed the records while sipping his brandy and pulled out one in particular, “You weren’t lying about having out of print.”
“Which one is that?”
“Fred Astaire’s Cole Porter album.”
“Oh, yes. I love that one. I love Cole Porter and I love Freddie.”
“Shouldn’t be a surprise but he’s an inspiration to me.”
“He’s so talented. Have you worked with him at all?”
“Oh, no. That would be a dream come true, though. Have you?”
Judy nodded ‘no’ as she took another sip, “I’d love too. I’ve spoken with him many times. He is semi-retired now. Have you met him?”
“I have, once in New York. I’ve seen him a lot on Broadway but haven’t had the pleasure in having a real conversation with him.”
“Maybe I can get us all together for dinner or something.”
“Don’t go to any trouble.”
“It wouldn’t be any trouble.”
“You’ve already done enough generous favors for me, Miss Garland.”
Judy put her hand out when she saw him start to take the vinyl out of its sleeve, “No, the player is broken. I can’t get the darn thing to work.”
“Let me see if I can fix it.”
After noodling around with it for five minutes, and not seeing any type of problem, he was baffled. He got down to look at the cord in the wall and immediately gasped.
“What,” she inquired sitting up straight.
Gene turned around with the stupidest look on his face showing her the cord was not even plugged into the wall.
“It wasn’t even plugged in, you dumbbell!”
Judy immediately cracked up, placing her hands on her face in embarrassment.
“Are you kidding me,” he laughed as he plugged it in, “You tried to fix it, but you didn’t even check to see if it was plugged in? That’s the first thing people check, goofeball.”
Judy grabbed a magazine and started fanning herself as she tried to calm down from laughter.
“You’re redder than an apple right now.”
“I’m embarrassed!”
“Don’t be,” he chuckled as he stood up.
After placing Fred Astaire’s record on the turntable, the record immediately started playing ‘The Way You Look Tonight’. He went over to Judy and offered his hand. She was pleasantly surprised as she placed her hand in his and he helped her up. There in the middle of the living room, they slow-danced enjoying the atmosphere. But, when her expression changed, Gene became curious.
“What are you thinking about?”
“Just...well, I’ve wanted to do this with David before, but he told me I was silly. He said that’s what nightclubs are for.”
“It’s funny.”
“Hm?”
“I’ve never danced like this in my own living room, nor even thought about it with my wife.”
“But here we are.”
They shared an understanding look before Gene spoke up again, “Can I ask you something?”
“Yes.”
“Something personal?”
“Shoot.”
“Why don’t you think your husband loves you?”
Judy didn’t hesitate a beat, “Because I don’t feel loved.”
Gene twirled her as he felt sharp sadness engulf him, “I’m sorry.”
“He doesn’t treat me bad, but he doesn’t...treat me the way I think a wife should be treated. I don’t know. I don’t have much experience. We get along more in a social setting than at home. We have fun, we laugh, but at home it’s like we’re just housemates. He doesn’t say I love you. He says, ‘bye babe’ or ‘hi honey, missed ya.’”
“Have you tried talking to him?”
“When he’s actually home, you mean? Kind of. I’m not very good at talking to him about that. Honestly, I think we both realize *why* we got married in the first place.”
“And why’s that?”
“Freedom.”
“I don’t follow.”
“I wanted to get out of Mama’s house and he was having trouble with his ex-wife. We wanted an escape. We had become really good friends and then lovers and it just seemed like a good scapegoat.”
“Do you love him?”
“I don’t think I’m in-love with him if that’s what you mean. I’ve only been in-love once before and I didn’t even have a real relationship with that guy.”
“Artie Shaw?”
“Oh, you’ve heard,” she exaggerated, “He was another reason why I think I married David so fast.”
The two became quiet as they continued dancing comfortably but Judy couldn’t help but ponder about Gene, “I take it you’re not in-love with your wife, either?”
“Why do you say that?”
“Because a man in-love doesn’t kiss another girl like the one we shared or dance with her alone in her living room in the middle of the night, even if they are just friends.”
Gene let her go as the song ended and leaned against the wall with his arms crossed. Judy stood next to him just the same, which made him smile a tad.
“I love her. I think I’m still in-love with her. Things just changed with us when we came here. We don’t fight or anything like that. I just suddenly feel a certain...emptiness regarding she and I. I don’t know how else to explain it.”
“You know what I think?”
“What do you think?”
“I think people see you like a glass ball.”
“How do you mean,” he asked interested in her sudden analytical mind.
“I think what you put out there, is exactly how people think you are. Like they can see straight through you with no corners or turns.”
“How do you think people think I am?”
“Outgoing, friendly, happy-go-lucky and enthusiastic.”
“Well, you are right. I am all those.”
“But I think there’s a lot more to you, a lot you don’t show, not even to your wife.”
Gene’s eyes connected with hers as she really got his attention this time.
“You spoke about emptiness. Sometimes, when you don't realize I’m paying attention, I see something in your eyes. I don’t know if it’s sadness, but I see something that doesn’t match that happy smile.”
He couldn’t believe it. This little, 4-foot-eleven, twenty-year-old girl really got him, and she barely knew him.
“How can you see all that just from my eyes?”
“Because I recognize it. My reflection has been staring back at me with the same look since my father left me.”
Gene sighed before he took her hand and kissed the back of it, “It’s insecurity. Not with my work. I know I’m good and I’m damn well gonna show that until the day I die,” Judy nodded and he continued, “But in here.” He placed their hands over his heart. “I still have the insecurity I had as a child. And I love my mother, but she placed me on a pedestal since I was very small. Like you were. And sometimes I feel like I still disappoint her, even though I’m making my first film at one of the most major studios in the entire world.”
Judy slightly smiled feeling his emotions as if they were her own, “I know what you mean.”
“My mother loves you, by the way. She practically screamed when I told her you were going to be my leading lady.”
Judy laughed, “I love my fans. Tell her I said hello.”
“Well, then if you’re going to get me together with Astaire, I’m going to have to get you together with my ma next time she comes to town...or next time you’re in Pittsburg.”
“Sounds like a plan.”
Gene checked his watch, “I really should get going now.”
“Okay. Thank you for everything, Gene.”
“Same. I’ll see you Monday,” he said as he leaned over to kiss her on the cheek.
Judy leaned back against the couch and placed her hand on her stomach, “That was a good lunch.”
Gene nodded and wiped his mouth with his napkin, “It was sure was.”
They had lunch in her trailer, just outsdide the soundstage lot, rather than the commissary, so they could go over some line changes in the script of the scene they had just started filming. Both were still in their early 1900’s army costumes, minus the hat and jackets.
“So, how does it feel to finally be in front of the cameras?”
“Very good. Though, I don’t understand why they’re shooting so out of sequence.”
“I've been trying to figure that out for years.”
“I assume it’s to do with location shoots and music sequences and sets all that.”
“Mm hm. At least we can get some of the dramatic scenes out of the way before doing the fun stuff.”
“I can’t wait until we do the ‘Gal’ number next week.”
“Me, too, but you’ll have to help me. It’s still complicated.”
“You did it with no mistakes when we rehearsed it last week.”
“I know, but I still get mixed on which way to turn when we go into our hop waltz.”
“Don’t worry, I’ll guide ya...like you guide me with these lines,” he said with a raised eyebrow.
Judy giggled, “I’m sorry. I don’t mean to laugh, but you just got so mad at yourself when you messed up. Remember, it’s not live theater. You can have an oops here and there.”
“What can I say, I’m a perfectionist.”
“And that’s good, just don’t beat yourself up too much about it.”
Gene looked at the time, “Well, we’ve got just a little bit of time. Can we do a quick practice with the new re-write?”
“Yep.”
Judy and Gene both stood up at the same time, but Judy lost her footing as she tripped on the coffee table leg and fell towards Gene. Gene fell back in a sitting position on the couch as he lost his balance as she fell against him, her hands on his chest catching herself. Gene had his hands braced against her hips as she leaned over him and they became still a moment staring at one another.
“You ok,” Gene finally spoke up, his voice a bit shaky.
“Y-yes,” she cleared her throat as she came back to a standing position when Gene propelled them upright, “I’m such a clutz sometimes.”
“Happens to the best of us.”
They stood in a more open area of her trailer with their scripts in hand as they prepared to do the scene they were about to continue filming: where Harry and Jo see each other again at the YMCA months after she breaks off their engagement.
“Okay, here we go,” Gene said and then got into character, “Jo, you don’t have to skip rope for me...” he took two steps to her standing very close as they do for the camera continuing his lines, “I know the boat has sailed as far as we’re concerned. And I’m not gonna tell ya the bells are ringing for me and my gal...”
Judy wanted to look away from him, as Jo was supposed to do, but she couldn’t stop staring at him. Something washed over her. He was so close. She could smell his cologne and feel him even though he wasn’t touching her. She stared at his lips as he continued to speak but all she could do was think about how he had kissed her Saturday night.
Gene noticed she was out of character not paying attention to what he was saying, and the way she was looking at him, his mind suddenly went blank.
“I, ah, I can’t remember now.”
“What,” she said looking back up at his eyes confused.
He remained standing in close proximity, “My mind just went blank.”
“Don’t worry about it, that’s normal. It’ll all come back when they yell action. I promise,” she looked down and fiddled with her nails feeling nervous.
Gene nodded, “Will your attention come back when they yell action as well?”
Judy let out a breathy giggle at his bluntness, “Yes.”
“Why are so nervous right now?”
“’Cause.”
“’Cause why?”
Judy got a little irritated, “Why do you think?”
“Oh,” Gene took a step back from her and looked away from her to give them distance, “I was- I was just playing the scene.”
“I know. I’m sorry.”
Judy bit her bottom lip thinking as he tried to distract himself by looking at the script in his hand, “Gene.”
“Yeah,” he asked with an uncomfortable tone in his voice as his eyes remained glued to the words he wasn’t really reading.
“I just need to see something,” she said mirroring what he had said Saturday night.
Gene was a little taken back when Judy had closed the gap between them and placed her hand on top of his script pushing it down. He was frozen as a rock as she hesitated a moment before her lips slowly reached for his. She was up on her tippy toes as she kissed him once, then twice. Her arms slid around his neck as she put more gusto into it when he hadn’t rejected what she was doing. He felt the tip of her tongue nudge his bottom lip when he opened his mouth just a tad responding to her. But, before she did to him what he had done to her the other night, she slowly backed away.
It wasn’t enough. He had to...
Gene grabbed the sides of her head kissing her passionately. He felt her slightly gasp against his mouth before she responded whole-heartedly. Their scripts fell into a heap on the floor as they took two steps backwards together until her back was pressed up against the wall.
Judy couldn’t think. She could barely breathe. His body pressed up against hers, his lips pulling at hers hungrily, his tongue catching hers in an erotic dance: It all felt so delicious.
Even through the passion, in the back of Gene’s mind, he made it a point to keep his hands out of her hair, knowing it would take time for her to get it re-done. Instead, he kept his hand on her jaw, feeling her mouth matching his movement for movement, before sensually sliding it to her neck, pushing her mouth even harder against his. Feeling her little body pressed up against him made a hot flash of adrenaline shoot down to his groin. Involuntarily, Gene’s hand grasped the back of her neck. In response, Judy’s lips snapped back from his and she lightly whimpered as she was wonderfully forced to look up at him through a sexual haze. Gene was still a moment, staring down at her breathing heavily. When she closed her eyes and gently bit her bottom lip, he leaned in to take her again.
But suddenly, a knock on the door startled both of them. Judy immediately pushed against Gene’s chest making him stumble a few steps back from her.
“Who is it,” she called out trying to sound as normal as possible.
Gene walked past her, towards the door, and she hurridly tried to hold him back.
“They need you back on set, Miss Garland,” the young set assistant called through the door.
Gene shoo’d Judy’s hand away ridiculously and opened the door, “We just finished lunch, we’ll be right there.”
“Thank you, Mr. Kelly,” the S.D. said before walking away.
When Gene turned back to Judy, they both had serious expressions on their faces...but only for a short moment until they both broke out in silly grins. They regret nothing.
That first week filming was more a breeze for Gene than he thought it would be. He was pleased to learn new things about Judy, not just where she was ticklish, but how she worked. He studied her and observed her. He learned a lot from her on what to do, what not to do, who to ask questions to, who not to ask questions to, everything. One thing he also learned was to not get too relaxed with Judy around Buzz during a rehearsal of a scene or during a fib of their lines on camera. Buzz had no problem screaming at them to cut it out. Judy would just give him an 'it's ok' look. She had been through this with 'Uncle Buzz' on other films before, specifically with Rooney.
During breaks at work, or after work, the two didn't have any chance to spend any time together. They had snuck in a few kisses here and there in a teasing way, but nothing passionate. The two hadn't talked about it, neither, but their growing chemistry hung in the air around them like a magnet. It was almost getting to much to ignore.
Friday evening, Judy was sitting on her couch listening to the Fiber McGee and Molly radio show as she knit when the phone rang startling her a bit.
"Hello?"
"Hi."
Judy's smile widened hearing Gene's voice, "Hi."
"I'm not interrupting any exciting Friday night plans am I?"
Judy chuckled, "Very exciting. I'm listening to Fiber McGee and Molly and knitting. All I'm missing is the Ovaltine. I'm an 80-year-old Granny right now."
"Well, come be a Granny with me. How about a night drive?"
"I'd love that."
"Good. I'm at a payphone at Sunset. I'll be there in 5."
When Gene pulled up in front of Judy's house, she was already bouncing out of the door. As she ran up the walkway to his car, in her skort jumper with a sweater in her hand, it almost felt to Gene like she was a teenager sneaking out of her parents' house or something. He knew her husband wasn't home, and he had been in her home before, but now it felt different. Without a word, Judy got in and leaned over for a quick peck on the lips to say hello. He accepted it with a smile before driving off.
The two remained in a comfortable silence as they drove along Pacific Coast Highway. It was a beautiful, warm evening as they drove along the ocean and Billie Holiday played over the radio. At a stop light, Gene looked over at her as her soft curls blew in the breeze. She looked so...fresh and beautiful. Judy looked over at him at that moment and she softly smiled as she held some of her hair away from her face. Gene took her hand in his and kissed the back of it. As they continued driving along some more, their comfort of being together and just enjoying the ambience grew a bit salacious. Their fingers started caressing each other's hand sensually, followed by some lustful looks between them. Still, neither said a word. Still holding his hand, she let his hand rest in her lap, but when she let go to flip some hair out of her face again, he held his hand on her thigh. Pleased, she rested her hand on top of his, inaudibly telling him to keep it there. When his hand slightly grasped her leg, his fingers now resting in the middle of her closed thighs, a shot of arousal invaded higher up between her thighs. It was too much.
"Gene," she asked of his attention, and he immediately looked over at her, "Can we go somewhere more private?"
"Yeah," he simply said before he turned at the next right, to head up the mountain towards Mulholland.
Judy moaned, leaning her head back as Gene’s lips attacked her neck with wonderful pressure.
They were parked in a secluded area on top of Mulholland, far away from any of the more popular spots where people necked or made love. It was dark, there were no light posts, and his car was turned off. The two had wanted no interruptions as they immediately started fooling around.
She was sitting on her knees next to his lap, pushing her body into his as close as she could as they made out. Out of stage hair, his hands were free to explore her hair now as they were buried in her tresses, grasping her passionately, her curls in disarray between his fingers. It was all so sexy. When she maneuvered her body to straddle his lap, Gene became still staring at her movements mesmerized and totally turned on. He looked down at her torso, as she now sat upon his growing erection, and he slid his hands up her legs to her hips. When she put a finger under his chin lifting it, his eyes were upon hers again. She smiled before laying one hell of a kiss on him. And he responded whole-heartedly.
Their making out became quite heavily, their breathing deepened even more, and soon her small hips started moving a little on their own. Gene let out a husky moan against her lips in response.
Gene kissed her again as his hand slid up to her breast. Through the thin material of her pale-yellow jumper, she was wearing a thin bra, with no padding, so he selfishly could feel the exact contour and weight of her breast in his hand, and it did something to him.
Judy felt herself being moved to her back on the long, leather front seat as Gene’s hand squeezed her breast in his hand. She didn’t know she did it, but she let out a sound that sounded like relief. He was nestled now in between her legs, kissing her neck again, his other hand now rubbed her other breast. She wanted him. Golly, she wanted him. She had experienced pleasure before, and arousal of course, and had enjoyed sex with her husband...when he was actually home. But this feeling she had for Gene, she never quite experienced before. She never felt such want so quickly or so strongly. And knowing it was Gene just felt so...right. She couldn’t explain it. But, she didn’t have to at this moment. She was letting her body guide her and what it wanted was to feel him, all of him.
Gene’s mouth traveled in between the V of her dress, and he was just about to unbutton to touch and taste more of her when he suddenly felt her hand on his hard on, reaching and rubbing. It felt so fucking good...until Gene realized what this had escalated to.
No.
“Judy, stop,” he said as he gently took her hand away from him.
“What,” Judy said confused and out of breath as he hovered over her now.
“We can’t do this.”
“What do you mean,” she practically cried as he sat up off of her and she followed suit.
“This,” he said frustrated throwing his hand, “Here, now.”
Judy stared at him in disbelief as he sat quietly staring at the twinkling lights of Burbank down below.
“Gene?”
“I’m sorry.”
“Well, you sure changed your tune quickly. You were pretty encouraging a second ago,” she said getting a little insulted as she re-bowed the tie around the waist of her jumper.
“Believe me, I want you. I don’t think I have to tell you that judging by what *you* just encouraged a second ago,” he said as he put his hand on the side of her face. Her big eyes softened, and he continued, “But I don’t want to do it here in my car. I hope you know I respect you more than that. And I need to be...I have to be sure.”
“Sure?”
“Yeah,” he said looking forward again, his hands now in his lap almost disappointed in himself.
Judy could see something else though and she wanted to know, “What are you afraid of?”
Gene turned his head and looked at her, his eyes reflecting the moonlight, “That I’ll fall in-love with you.”
The car ride back to Judy’s house was as quiet as it had been earlier, only this time there was a heavy energy that hung between them. Instead of a care-free comfort they were now uncomfortable. There was no anger, but a cumbersome feeling. Instead of touching, Judy couldn’t get more pressed up against the passenger door than she already was.
When Gene pulled back up in front of Judy’s house, she quickly said bye in a friendly tone before practically jumping out.
“Judy,” Gene called out to her a little annoyed, but she ran straight to her front door and quickly disappeared into her home. Gene laid the back of his head on the seat and sighed.
Judy leaned her forehead against her front door sighing as she heard Gene’s car pull away. She closed her eyes a moment trying to collect herself. How could they have let this gotten so far?
“Hi.”
Judy shrieked loudly hearing a man’s voice before she realized who it was. Turning around, David stood there with wide eyes and his arm extended as if to calm her down.
“It’s just me.”
“Dave,” Judy placed her hand on her chest, “You scared me.”
“I’m sorry,” he said with a babyface before reaching over to give her a kiss on the cheek.
“What are you, ah,” Judy turned her back to the door a moment as if she expected Gene to walk in behind her, “What are you doing here? I thought you weren’t expected back in Los Angeles until Monday?”
“Our last few shows got cancelled.”
“Oh,” she said as she instinctively smoothed her hair.
“Where you were at? Your car was here when I got in, but I figured you went out to one of the watering holes,” he said casually referring to one of the usual nightclubs, “But you’re certainly not dressed for it.”
“I didn’t feel like going tonight. I was out on a night drive with Mickey.”
“It’s definitely a great night for that.”
Judy suddenly felt like being close to David. To make herself feel less guilty, maybe, or maybe she just really missed him, but she definitely needed to be with her husband.
“How are you,” she said wrapping her arms around his waist to cuddle him.
“Good,” he said wrapping his arms around her and kissed the top of her head, “Missed ya, babe.”
“I missed you, too. When did you get in?”
“Oh, just about a half hour ago,” he said checking his watch.
“Are you tired?”
“Not really. You?”
“Nope,” she said and took his hand as she started walking backwards pulling him with her towards the stairs, “Come to bed with me.”
“I thought you just said you’re not tired?”
“I’m not,” she said mischievously which got a pleasantly surprised eyebrow raise from him as they head up the stairs.
Gene let out a loud grunt as he flopped next to Betsy out of breath. She smiled as she gasped before giggling.
“Not that I’m complaining, Genie, but what brought that on?”
Gene stared at the shadows of the palm trees on the ceiling before he closed his eyes a moment not knowing whether it was to release what Judy had riled up in him, or to make himself feel less guilty, or perhaps to prove to himself that the heat he had with Ms. Garland was as strong with Betsy. He was so pent up he couldn’t even answer that.
“Partly stress. First week filming at Metro really does somethin’ to ya,” he said turning on his side to face her.
“I can only imagine. I heard that Busby Berkeley is one of the most disciplined directors to work with.”
“You have no idea.”
“Well,” she said turning on her side to face him as well, “At least you have Judy.”
“What,” he said a bit alarmed.
“You did say she’s been helping you learn the ropes, isn’t she?”
“Oh, yes,” he relaxed, “She is. I wouldn’t have been able to do it without her.”
The next evening at The Players Club, Judy was up on stage singing while her husband orchestrated a performance of 'Nice Work if You Can Get It'. It wasn't her song, and it wasn't his band, but every-so-often singers and conductors would do impromptu performances like this at nightclubs. Fortunately, the audience had the opportunity to watch both husband and wife.
Gene walked into the lively club with Betsy on his arm. He had immediately recognized Judy's voice before he even got through the doors. He was a bit surprised as he wasn't expecting her to be there. Her usual Saturday night hangout was at Ciro's. That's why he partly decided to come to this nightclub, so he wouldn't run into her with his wife by his side.
As Gene escorted Betsy towards a table where Keenan Wynn and his wife Eve were waving him over. As they approached the table, Gene noticed the man up on stage with Judy was her husband. When he caught eyes with her, still in the middle of singing, Judy's baffled expression mirrored his. He barely even paid attention as he nearly tripped into his seat as he kept eyes on Judy, both with so many questions.
When the song ended, everyone erupted in applause, including Mr. and Mrs. Kelly, but as Gene clapped, his eyes followed David as he escorted Judy off stage. He was a bit cautious when the couple approached the table he was at. When he noticed the two empty seats, he realized those seats must’ve been theirs.
“Well, hello,” Judy stated chipper, but Gene could sense a certain trepidation from her.
“Hi,” he smiled back.
“Here’s some new faces,” David said as he held out a chair for her.
“Honey, this is my leading man in ‘My Gal’.”
“Oh, Gene Kelly, the new guy in town,” David teased as he extended his hand.
Gene stood up to shake his hand smiling, “That’s right.”
“David Rose. Nice to meet you.”
“Likewise. And this is my wife, Betsy.”
“How do you do?”
“Pleased to meet you,” Betsy smiled at David.
“You girls briefly met last year,” Gene stated, referring to when Judy had invited he and Betsy to the premiere of ‘Babes on Broadway’ shortly after he had gotten this current part.
He was feeling a tad uncomfortable as Judy and his wife now sat side-by-side and Judy could sense it.
“Nice to see you again, Betsy.”
“You, too. You guys sounded great up there.”
“Thank you. Judy coaxed me up there,” David replied.
“Oh, you liar,” Judy giggled and playfully smacked the back of her hand on his chest.
David laughed and grabbed that hand kissing it. It was the same hand that he had kissed the previous night and Gene suddenly found himself feeling rage. He had no reason to be jealous, she wasn’t *his* wife, so what the fuck?
“So, Judy, my husband survived his first week of filming.”
“Yes, he did,” Judy said proudly.
“All because of you, he said,” Betsy said thankful.
Judy’s eyes went to Gene, “Oh, I don’t know about that, but I help where I can. Gene’s been a big help to me learning these complicated dances.”
“He does know how to handle a woman on the dancefloor, doesn’t he?”
“Where is that waitress,” Gene said looking around starting to sweat, “I’ll go up the bar. What would you like, dear?”
“Glass of Chardonnay.”
“You got it. Excuse me.”
Judy watched as Gene couldn’t have gotten away fast enough.
A few minutes later, Judy excused herself to the powder room and headed towards the large bar lined up in the back of the club where Gene was. As she came closer to the bar, she spotted him still waiting around. Heading to the hallway where the restrooms were, Judy made a habit to walk by him purposefully. He must have seen her because when she casually glanced over her shoulder to look at him, he was already looking at her.
She wanted him to follow her.
Gene waited a long moment before he decided to leave his place in line . He looked side-by-side slyly before he made his way down that hallway himself. When he turned the corner, she was standing by the exit there at the end of the hall, her hand already on the handle as if she knew he would be there any second. When she saw him coming her way, she pushed the door open and disappeared.
Outside, behind the building, the two were alone in their little alcove by the dumpsters, not a single soul in sight.
“You rang,” Gene teased but had a serious expression as he leaned against the brick wall with his hands in his pockets.
“I wanted to speak to you...alone.”
“About?”
“Please don’t be like that. I don’t want things to get more uncomfortable between us.”
“You told me your husband would be gone until next week.”
“He was but he came home last-”
“What are you even doing here,” he continued cutting her off. Judy’s mouth opened a tad as she placed her hands on her hips in astonishment. He continued, “I *specifically* came here because you usually go to Ciro’s on Saturday nights.”
Judy became defensive, “Why, afraid to run into me?”
Gene rubbed the back of his neck, “When you’re on a date night with your husband, yes.”
“Well, it’s not like I was expecting you to come walking in with your wife. Since when does she ever come out with you?”
Gene sighed, “I think she just wanted to do something nice for me after she noticed how stressed I was...last night.”
“And why were you stressed,” she asked with a smart-ass tone.
“Don’t be ignorant, Judy.”
“I’m trying not to be, but you’re not making it easy, Gene. I come out here to tell you I want things to be ok with us, and you start attacking me about being here with my husband as if I knew he was going to come back home early or that you were going to show up with your absent wife on your arm.”
“I’m sorry. I think tonight was a sign that maybe...” Gene trailed off and looked down fighting his own battle.
“Maybe what?”
“That maybe it was a good thing nothing happened last night.”
“You think nothing happened last night,” she asked looking almost sad.
“No, that’s not what I meant.”
“That’s what you just implied. You said you never wanted to do anything with any other woman since Betsy but you wanted to with me. That’s a real connection as far as I'm concerned. So don’t say nothing happened just because we didn’t go all the way.”
Gene’s voice softened, “I know. I just think that maybe we should see tonight as a warning sign,” her eyes bore into his, “Judy, we’re playing with fire.”
Monday evening, Judy and David sat at the dining nook in their kitchen eating dinner silently as Dave paid attention to the Big Band music on the radio. Judy sat moving her food around it’s her fork uninterested and bored.
The phone suddenly rang and Judy put her hand up to David, “I’ll get it.” She walked over to the wall phone and answered, “Hello?”
“Frances, it’s me.”
“Oh, hi Roger.”
“Hello, darlin’. I’m sorry if I’m interrupting. I know you usually like to eat dinner at this time.”
“It’s alright, I’m finished. You sound rushed, is everything ok?”
Edens heavily sighed, “You’re not gonna like this sugar, but we need you to come to the studio for a 7pm re-recording.”
“Tonight,” she shrieked at the unfortunate surprise.
“Yeah. There’s been scratches on the record to the ‘My Gal’ song and because you two are filming that number tomorrow, they need it re-recorded before tomorrow morning.”
Judy checked her watch and it was already 6:15, “Can’t we just move that number to a later date?”
“I asked them but you know how they are, they started getting into the finances and all that.”
“How long do you think it will take?”
“As long as you Gene take to get another good recording in. Possibly an hour and a half, maybe two depending.”
“Alright. I’ll leave right now.”
“Thank you. I’ll let them know.”
Judy hung up the phone hard with a frustrated sound.
“What’s going on?”
“I have to go to the studio.”
“At 6 on a Monday night?”
“We have to re-record a song for a number we’re filming tomorrow morning.”
David checked his watch, “Baby, it’s a pretty good drive. By the time you finish and get home tonight, then have to wake up at 4:30, you’ll barely get any sleep.”
“I know. Well, I think I’ll just have to stay at the studio and sleep in my trailer again. Besides, it’s raining. I don’t want to drive that late in the rain.”
“That’s a good idea.”
“I’ll phone when we’re finished,” she said walking over to him and gave him a kiss on the cheek.
In the recording studio at Metro, Judy and Gene stood in front of their mics. They had just finished a 5th take of the main title song. The entire time they recorded, Gene hadn’t looked at her...not once. He looked focused and concentrated but purposefully kept his eyes from hers. She knew that he could feel her bit of a catty stare.
“Thank God,” Gene murmured as he looked at his watch.
“He can’t get away from me fast enough,” Judy mumbled snarky as she collected her sheet music.
Gene paused and watched as she collected her purse, “I’m sorry?”
“Nothing. Night,” she said and head towards where Roger was.
Gene, upset, grabbed his stuff and followed her.
“You’re staying in your trailer,” Roger asked her.
“Yes,” she said as she got her umbrella ready.
“Good. Might as well so you can get some sleep,” Roger looked over Judy’s shoulder at Gene who walked up, “How about you Gene? You getting some sleep here or driving home?”
“I figured I’d crash here. Never done it before, but I hear you all call it ‘clopen’?”
Judy pretended to ignore him as Roger chuckled, “Yep and this won’t be the only time, my boy. Welcome to the Movie Studios. You two get some rest. Big day tomorrow.”
Judy made her way past Roger and pushed on the heavy exit door without a goodbye to either of them which got a quick, confused glance from Roger but he figured she was tired.
He turned back to Gene, “Good job tonight, thank you for coming in.”
“No problem.”
“Goodnight.”
“Night,” Gene said and disappeared outside.
Up ahead, Judy was walking under her umbrella heading towards the street when Gene rolled up in one of the golf-carts next to her.
“Get in.”
“I’m alright.”
“Judy, our trailers are on the other side of the studio.”
“I could use a good walk.”
“At night, in the rain?” When she ignored him, he got impatient, “You’re going to catch a cold for Christ sakes. Get your ass in the cart.”
Judy stopped and looked at him like an upset child. He did have a point. When she walked out, she forgot that the Vocal Assistant that had driven her to the recording building in his cart was gone.
“What are you, my mother,” she asked as she got in the cart, “On second thought, maybe you should let me take this and you get out and walk,” off his up surd expression she continued casually, “Well, you said you were playing with fire, maybe the rain will cool ya off.”
As they rolled down the pavement, Gene chuckled shaking his head, but not in a good way. When he made a frustrated sound, Judy looked over at him with wide eyes.
“You are the most infuriating...”
“I’d watch what I say, Gene,” she warned.
He clenched his jaw and exhaled through his nose, “Fine. Forget it. Why’d you say that back there anyway?”
“Say what?”
“That I couldn’t get away from you fast enough?”
“Because you hadn’t looked at me the entire time we recorded. What did you think I’d think?”
“I was concentrating.”
“Is that what you call it?”
“Yes. Because it was late and I wanted to get the hell out of there as fast as everyone else in that recording studio who was called into work tonight.”
“Bullshit.” His eyes grew wide as he’d never heard that expression from her before. “That does not justify you not looking at me. Dammit Gene, imagine how I feel.”
“You? You,” he repeated, “You think it’s easy for me to look at you? For fuck’s sake, Judy, every time I look at you, I can’t focus. It’s like you have some god damn spell on me or something. cll I ever do is think about you so excuse me for NOT looking at you for once.”
That statement caught Judy by surprise, and she remained silent the rest of the ride.
Gene laid on the day bed in the end of his trailer that sat outside one of the ‘My Gal’ soundstages. Rain pounded against the windows but that wasn’t keeping him awake. First, he was going over all the choreography for tomorrow’s dance routine, then he saw her eyes. Then her funny faces she would make at him as they rehearsed the dance over and over. When she hadn’t made funny faces, she was smiling that luscious smile of hers. She had the best mouth in show business and not just because of the unique voice that would come out, but the way she put her entire heart and soul into her smile or into a kiss. God, she definitely knew how to kiss. There you go again, Gene. For a moment he had pondered whether to get up and call her to make sure their friendship was still intact no matter what else was going on with them. Her trailer was four away from his so he wouldn’t be able to see if her light was on. Her light better not be on, he thought. It was near 1 in the morning.
He should try to sleep himself. Rolling over, Gene got comfortable and closed his eyes when there was a knock. His eyes opened but he didn’t hear anything else. Thinking it was from the storm, Gene closed his eyes again.
More knocking. Kneading his eyebrows, he quickly got out of bed.
“What the hell,” he said as the knocking continued nonstop, “I’m coming!”
In his boxers and white tee, he pulled the small lamp on and unlocked the door and peeked just a bit, “Judy, what...” he opened the door the rest of the way to let her in.
Drenched in rain, in one of her dressing gowns, Judy barreled in with determination.
“Honey, it’s 1 in the morning, what are you doing,” Gene said with exasperation as he shut the door behind him.
“I can’t continue like this,” she said with no hesitation, “I will not continue this film with you if we’re going to be uncomfortable or without you looking at me. I can’t work like that, Gene.”
Gene took a step backwards as he placed his hand on the counter and bent his head in defeat.
"You cannot kiss me one day, and tell me we can see where it goes, then regret it. You cannot nearly make love to me one day and then say we can't the next, then tell me you cannot stop thinking about me and cannot look at me because you still want me."
Gene nodded, but kept his head bowed, and Judy started weeping, "Look at me, please." Her cry forced his eyes up as his expression became worried and she continued, "You're afraid of falling-in-love with me. Well, how about what I'm afraid of? You never asked me."
“What are you afraid of?”
"I'm afraid of the man I love not loving me back. I've been through that before and I will not allow myself to go through it again- especially with you. I know this is wrong, alright? I know we're both married, but this is just us here right now, in the moment. So, you either let your heart feel what it wants, or we end this right now. No more feelings, no more kissing or flirting or touching because there's no winning that way."
Gene watched as the tear rolled down her cheek, yet she was now standing with her hands on her hips, out of breath, like a determined woman. He felt the wall around his heart for her shattering piece by piece as his arousal awakened seeing her nipples through her wet robe.
"There's no winning either way," he stated.
"FIGURE IT OUT! What do you want," she asked again wanting to end this whole charade emotionally tired.
She was sure he'd end it, and they'd do a truce, and try to get back to just being friends no matter how hard that would be, but all of a sudden he was grabbing her and kissing her. She was so taken by surprise, she let out a sound against his mouth.
"You," he said huskily, breathing against her lips as they slightly broke apart, "I want you."
Judy's mouth slightly opened as she stared up at him in disbelief. She didn't even notice him moving them backwards a few steps until her bum was pressed up against the opposite kitchenette counter. She barely even had time to react as he bent down and lifted her on the counter with a slight grunt.
"If you stop-," she whispered but he cut her off.
"I ain't stopping," he whispered back before her grabbed under her knees and gave them a yank towards his hips.
Judy let out a pleasantly startled whimper and looked down as he was now nestled between her legs. She could feel his hand on her lower back pressing her harder into him. A sudden thought of when she felt his hand there all those nights ago at the nightclub that first sparked her attraction to him entered her mind. That time it felt good. This time felt amazing.
Gene continued where they had left off in his car as he loosened the tie on her robe. She was eager for it last time so there was no need for permission this time. In the dim light, she was nearly bare to him as her robe hung loose around her shoulders and she only wore her panties. He thought she was amazing and so incredibly sexy.
"You're beautiful," he whispered on her chin as she leaned her head back against the cabinet as his fingers traced her breast.
The more his fingers intricately played around the flesh, the harder her nipples got. He was waiting to feel them as he wanted them ready. He kissed her neck as he gave equal treatment to the other side. When Judy placed her hand on his and pushed his palm over her entire breast, he breathed heavily and tilted her chin down to him. She whimpered into his mouth as he gave her one sexy french kiss and she squeezed her knees against his hips.
It was too early for that.
Gene reached down to loosen her knee and she complied but reached for his undershirt pulling it up. Gene helped her take it off, tossing it somewhere to the side. She ran her hands along his chest and nipples, which got a response of his eyelids fluttering shut. She ran them down his stomach but stopped above his boxers. That was when he stopped her last time and still in the back of her mind she was afraid it would happen again.
Sensing this, Gene took those hands and pinned them to the cabinet on each side of her head as he came in and started placing kisses down her chest. He left wet kisses around her flesh even sucking on places near her nipple. Judy licked her bottom lip as her body took over. Her nipples were begging for his attention now, tingling, waiting. Her nails dug into the back of his hand in anticipation.
He let go of her hands so he could hold her breasts and her hands immediately went to the back of his head to guide him but he was already there. While his thumb caressed her nipple in one hand, his mouth enclosed on the other. Judy breathed in feeling his mouth on her for the first time. It felt so good and erotic. He sucked on her before letting go. Then he did it again. Then again until he sucked her entirely in and wiggled the pad of his tongue on her nipple over and over until she was crying out in pleasure. She couldn't believe how much sexual arousal she could get from that. She was ready to go. Gene did the same treatment to the other until her knees squeezed his hips again. He pushed into her, holding her bottom close, nearly falling off the edge of the counter.
He was so hard.
Judy wrapped her arms around his neck as he lifted her from the counter and held her thighs around his waist as he walked them to the day bed. They didn't touch or kiss, just held a lustful, mutual stare as they head towards the mattress.
He laid her back against the bed and hovered over her for a moment, "Are you sure?"
She lightly traced the scare on his cheek with her finger, always wanting to do that, and gave him a simple nod. He responded with a few passionate kisses before he continued his trail down her body. Her torso was short and tiny but her legs went on forever and he wanted to be in between them so badly.
When he slid her panties down her legs, she didn't feel shy or embarrassed. He made her feel absolutely beautiful. He had this way of making every woman, no matter age or size, that they were the most important person in the room and always gave his full attention. But, right now, she was his attention and she felt proud and selfishly territorial.
Gene slid off the end of the daybed as his mouth moved down to her inner thighs leaving big sucking kisses. Instinctively, he knew she was ready. Hell, they both had been ready since that night in his car, but he wanted to spend more time on her legs. He made a mental note not to leave any kind of marks on her skin. If she hadn't been married, he'd possessively would end up leaving hickeys, he was sure of it. When Judy felt his tongue leaving a long trail up towards her center, she instinctively started to close her legs not even knowing she did that at first. The pressure building there was just getting to be too much, too sensitive.
Because of this, Gene stopped and looked up at her seeing if she gave him permission.
Seeing his eager expression, she couldn't help but giggle, "Either do it, or get up here."
Oh, he did it alright. He knew how to pleasure a woman this way. Seeing his fingers burying into her skin as he held her thighs steady, while eating her out, was too intoxicating to watch. Instead, she closed her eyes and enjoyed the treatment, giving off tiny whimpers. But then his gentle licks and sucks became more demanding and his mouth and tongue started doing things she never felt before. She started feeling herself contract as his tongue would wiggle against a certain part of her pearl that was very sensitive it nearly hurt in an amazing way.
Her whimpers became loud cries until her tummy was writhing as an orgasm built up. When he moved to the other side of her clit, his tongue hit the underneath and she arched her back as if trying to get closer to his mouth.
"Oh, right there," she breathed.
Gene smiled to himself as he sucked on that spot before wiggling his tongue there, then sucked again. She was married but her reactions were as if she were a virgin to this type of pleasure. He secretly hoped that was the case.
"Oh my gosh," she squeaked as her orgasm hit its peak.
She became silent as her body became stiff as the pleasure burst through her. Then she cried out as her muscles contracted, her body relaxing. Her husband had pleasured her that way a few times before, but it never felt like that and it was never until orgasm.
As Gene stood up and yanked down his boxers as he watched as she experienced the aftereffects of a sort of out-of-body experience.
"Was that the first time you had that?"
Judy nodded because, honestly, it was. When he came in hovering over her, she pushed on his chest until he was laying down. She kissed him passionately as her hand traveled to his erection. And he didn't stop her. They enjoyed making out as she caressed him up and down and around his head until he was groaning. He was rock hard and the perfect size. She loved feeling the veins and the tiny jerks it would do when she'd pay attention to the sensitive head. When she broke their kiss and started to lean the other direction, he did stop her.
"I won’t last right now if you do that."
"Next time," she smiled sexy as she came towards his lips again.
He moved some hair away from her face and seriously agreed back, "Next time."
Judy slowly straddled him and reached back to hold him as she positioned herself. Gene held onto her hips as she gently sat down on him until he was completely inside of her. He sat up and held her back as she wrapped her arms around his shoulders. She could not believe she was feeling him inside of her. She couldn't believe she was having sex with him. It felt right.
Gene felt the same way. It did feel right, and he had secretly envisioned what she'd feel like and what he imagined was exactly what was happening. She was so warm, so snug and slick. She wasn't just any woman, this was her. This was Judy.
Their lips skimmed each other's, their heavy breaths mingling, as her hips glided back and forth against his lap for a few minutes. When she started to feel another sensual build up, still worked up from her orgasm, her movements became more ardent. She held onto him tighter as she now bounced up and down which got him worked up.
Gene grabbed onto her bum squeezing for leverage helping her pound up and down onto his shaft harder. He groans mixed with her moans until his body wanted more. Feeling primal, Gene held her as he rolled them onto her back, and he took over the thrusts. Holding himself up on each side of her, he felt her legs wrap around his waist as her one hand was behind his neck and other on his lower back urging him to go deeper. He knew it wasn't possible, but she wanted him closer. He kept thrusting in a steady, but hard, pace and kept concentrating on not coming until she did again. He wanted to feel her come around his cock. It was as if that was his only goal in life at that moment.
Judging by her cries and the muscle grip he'd feel after every thrust, he knew she was getting close. Losing himself, Gene couldn't hold himself up any longer and came down on her as he grinded against her. They shared sloppy kisses as their bodies worked over. When he adjusted just a tad, she gasped and held his hips in her hands.
"Yeah," he questioned with a breath, his veins nearly popping out of his head as he held his own release.
His pelvis rubbing up against her as he ground in and out made her gush around him before her body tightened, as it matched his thrusts. He looked at her face strained with pleasure just before he felt a bunch of contractions from her release gripping him fast and hard. She let out long, mewling cries just heightening his own release. Gene felt his balls tighten as he pumped harder groaning loudly and desperately. Just before he felt that rush up his cock, Gene pulled out of her and only had time to run his hand over his length once before he shot out over and over onto her lower stomach as he practically growled.
There was no more rain pounding against the windows as Judy felt Gene's finger tracing her arm, both of them on the brink of sleep.
"Darling?"
"Hm?"
"What made you change your mind and be with me? Was it what I said?"
"Yes, but I realized in that moment that losing you would be worse than falling for you."
Judy smiled and reached up to kiss him, “You know, I've never experienced anything like that before. Maybe it's our connection, but I definitely want to do that again."
Gene chuckled, "We will.”
"But what happens now? What do we do?”
Gene pondered for a moment, “I don't know. I guess...we just enjoy being together as long as we can.”
“See what happens,” she teased.
Gene chuckled and pulled her close, “See what happens.”
While on location in Palm Springs filming ‘Girl, Crazy’ , Gene and Judy make a decision
Palm Springs
May 1943
Gene took off his baseball cap and wiped sweat off his forehead, his eyes squinting from the bright sun.
"Jesus, Johnson, it's hotter than Satan out here."
"Eghhh, quit your bitchin'," Van replied before hitting his golf ball off the tee with a hard, sharp swing.
"When I let you drag me out here, I didn't know it'd be a 120-fucking-degrees.”
"It's almost summer, in the middle of the desert, what the hell did ya expect?”
“When I came out here, I didn’t think I’d be on a golf course roasting like a Christmas ham.”
"What did you come to Palm Springs for anyways,” Johnson asked as they got back into the golf cart.
"To get away from the bullshit and lay by the pool and study my scripts in peace."
"You know, you're worse than Evie," Van said as he drove the cart down the hill to the turf.
"Look, bud, I’m glad I ran into you, but I came to relax. This is not relaxing to me. You get what I'm sayin'?"
"Loud and clear. But listen, you can relax tonight with some cold ones at Rooney's get together."
"What get together?"
"Mick's here filming and he's having a little get pow wow tonight at his cottage."
Gene's curiosity peaked, "What film?"
"Ah, that 'Girl, Crazy' one, the one he's doing with Judy. She's here, too."
Gene tried to hide his surprise. He had heard that they had gone on location to film but didn't know it would be here. Even though he had only seen her a few weeks ago, suddenly the sound of her name, and knowing she was here, gave him a kind-of anxious flutter in his stomach.
He had seen her around the studio, and nightclubs, but they hadn't spoken much, at least nothing concrete since they ended their tryst back in January. When they decided to call it quits, Judy had suffered physical exhaustion and taken time off from filming. Also, at this time, she and her husband were on the brink of calling it quits. He, on the other hand, was gaining more responsibilities at the studio now and had a new baby. Their lives suddenly became polar opposites. They both mutually decided to keep their friendship, but end their physical relationship, which had started during pre-production of 'My Gal'.
"Finish the rest of the holes with me, then you can go hop in the pool, and then I'll pick ya up at your hotel tonight around 8 and we can chill at Rooney's. What do you say?"
"I guess I have no choice," he sarcastically groaned before smiling.
"That'a boy," Van smiled back with a pat on the back.
Judy plopped down into her director’s chair, an umbrella over her head, and watched with irritation as all the camera men set up for a new angle. They were rehearsing their ‘Could You Use Me’ number. The scene was going so well, she was sure they could start filming it now, but then Norm wanted to try it with a different direction.
Sighing, Judy grabbed her heavy, Chinese fan and started fanning herself with gusto. Nothing was helping the heat.
“Any faster with that fan, there, honey, and you’ll be able to start a fire,” Mickey said walking up next to her.
“I feel like I’m sitting in one. I swear they’re gonna send me back to Metro looking like burnt chicken.”
“Juicy on the inside though,” he teased with raised eyebrows.
When Judy just gave him a raised eyebrow as she stopped fanning herself to take a drink of water, he whistled with his eyes wide. Usually, she responded gleefully to cheeky comments like that.
“You know, for as hot as it is, boy you’re blowing cold.”
“I’m sorry, Mick, I’m just not in a good mood. I love Norm but now is not the time to try improve camera angles.”
“Would you rather Buzz be here?”
Judy nodded, as ‘Uncle Buzz’ had worked them so hard she had collapsed on set during beginning of filming, “You have a point.”
“Yeah, by this time we’d both be dead.”
“At least you’re wearing shorts,” Mickey exclaimed looking down at his long pants.
“At least you’re shirtless,” she teased back as he was indeed topless.
“You can be, too,” he teased back.
“Stop it,” she giggled.
“There’s a big fan up by the camera wagon. Go stand over there for a little, darlin.”
“I suppose. It’s better than this shade, anyways.”
“I’m going to get lemonade. Do you want anything?”
“No, I’m ok. Thank you.”
As Judy walked away, Mickey walked down a way to the refreshment tent. The lady working there poured him a glass of lemonade topped with ice.
Gene leaned towards Mickey from behind and said in his best John Wayne accent, “What, no vodka in that, partner?”
Mickey turned to see Gene standing there, “Say, what on earth are you doing here, old boy?”
The two gleefully shook hands.
“I just came to town for a few days to relax, you know, away from ‘star life’,” Gene teased with his hands.
“After how successful you’ve been so far, there’s going to be way more of that for you.”
“Oh, thanks.”
“It’s lucky they let you have time off. That’s rare.”
“I just finished post-production for ‘DuBarry’. I’m back to work Monday.”
“Nice four-day weekend. Is the Mrs. With you?”
“Her mother is in town to see the baby. I’m letting them have their girl time.”
“Good for you.”
“I had no idea you guys were filming here. Van told me earlier.”
“Yeah. And they couldn’t do it in San Diego or Pasadena, could they? They had to pick the desert.”
“Hot. I can’t imagine what it’s like filming in this. I was out playing golf this morning and I was complaining so much Johnson called me a chick.”
Mick laughed, “Should’ve called you Judy. That’s all she’s been doing so far.”
“Oh, the starlet's in a bad mood?”
“I’ll say, but maybe you being here will cheer her up some.”
“I’m no better in a good mood than she is, so we’ll see.”
“She certainly laughs more with you than she does with me lately. I think I’m getting a little rusty. I’ll go get her. Find a seat.”
“Aye, Yi, Captain.”
Judy put her hand up over her eyes, squinting to see the other camera’s process, as she stood by the large camera wagon with the fan blowing on her.
“How much longer,” she asked one of the stagehands standing behind her.
“They’re nearly finished, Miss Garland.”
“How we doing over here,” Mickey asked walking up next to her.
“Still hot.”
“Still grumpy?”
“Maybe.”
“Well, maybe I know something that will get you un-grumpy,” he said in a baby voice while taking her chin in his hand as if patronizing her.
“An air-conditioned cabin,” she playfully remarked with a smile.
“No, but we have a surprise visitor.”
“Who,” she asked looking around.
“Gene Kelly,” Mickey quipped happily and pointed to where Gene now sat in Judy’s director chair under the umbrella across the way.
Her mouth opened a tad looking completely shell shocked as she placed her hand on the bar next to her and the other on her hip. She then mumbled to herself, “How on earth did he find us here?”
Suddenly, the two turned their attention to the set when the cameramen all made some loud commotion.
Mickey placed his hands on his hips, “Looks like we’re starting soon, babe. Why don’t you go say hi and then let's put on a great rehearsal performance for him.”
Gene readjusted the umbrella to his liking when he noticed a shadow walk up next to him. Before he could respond, or see who it was, the umbrella was lifted a bit as Judy peeked underneath.
“That’s my chair.”
Hearing her voice, Gene immediately smiled and sat back comfortably, showing her he had no intention of getting up.
“It’s quite comfortable.”
“Mm hm. May I sit, please,” she said sweetly.
Gene tapped his upper legs but she giggled and swatted her hand. He chuckled and stood up so she could sit.
“Mickey tells me you’re in quite a mood.”
“Mickey tells me that you’ll make me un-grumpy,” she replied impishly.
“Judy!”
Judy turned to see Norm waving her over. She had so many questions for Gene rolling through her mind, but she knew she didn’t have time to talk to him.
“I’m sorry, but we’re about to rehearse a number.”
“It’s alright. Heard you were in town and wanted to stop by the set.”
“Judy, sweetheart,” Norm’s voice yelled more insistent.
She gave him a ‘1 minute’ finger gesture before turning back to Gene, “Will you stay and watch?”
“I would love to. Would you like me to?”
Judy smiled and nodded, “I would like that very much.”
“Fun scene at least?”
“It’s very fun, just too many changes. I’ll see ya in a bit,” she said before she turned to walk to where the car prop was with Mickey already sitting inside of it.
Judy and Mickey rehearsed their ‘Could You Use Me’ number and both gave it their all. In fact, Judy felt positively giddy knowing Gene was watching. She knew she wasn’t showing off, she just genuinely felt good knowing he was there. It had been a while. After getting through a few rehearsals, the set took a break so they could get in costume and film. Judy noticed Gene waving her down to get her attention. When he did, he pointed behind him and waved goodbye. Judy was so flabbergasted about him leaving like that she just held her arms out as if saying ‘what the heck’ but he ignored it and left the area, disappearing behind rows of trucks and trailers.
B.J. Baker was laughing as she walked over to the mini bar where Judy sat on one of the stools. She was nursing her apricot sour as she stared out the window looking a tad bored.
“What’s the matter, doll,” B.J. asked as she grabbed the vodka bottle to make another cocktail.
“Nothing,” Judy said sounding chipper as she turned to face her, putting on a happy smile.
“Could have fooled me,” B.J. said glancing up at her with a mischievous smile.
“She’s upset with Gene,” Mickey said stepping in between the girls.
“Gene who?”
“Kelly.”
“Gene Ke--” B.J. looked a little surprised, “Aren’t you two friends? He’s such a sweetie pie.”
“A sweetie pie, huh,” Judy asked as she took a sip of her drink practically rolling her eyes.
“She’s been like that all day,” Mick said leaning into his future wife.
“Why are you angry with him?”
“I’m not angry,” Judy stated in defense.
Mickey let out a smiled snort, but when he caught Judy’s evil ‘sister-like’ glare, his smile immediately dropped, “Sorry.”
B.J. smiled and gave Mickey a quick peck on the lips, “Don’t tease her. She’s having a bad day.”
“Hey, toots,” Mickey said draping his arm over Judy’s shoulders, “At least you’re in air conditioning now.”
“This is true.”
B.J. took a sip of her fresh vodka tonic turning to look back at the small gathering and her eyes widened a little before she turned back towards Judy, “So, does Gene know you’re mad at him?”
“I’m not mad at him,” Judy repeated, “And...even if I were, he’d have to stay around long enough for me to tell him, wouldn’t he?”
“Well, now’s your chance, baby.”
Hearing a little commotion from the front door, all three looked and saw Gene walk in with Van Johnson.
Judy immediately flicked the back of her hand on Mickey’s arm, “Did you invite him?”
“No, I didn’t know he was coming. But, good, more the merrier.”
“Let’s go say hi,” B.J. said grabbing Mickey’s hand.
“You two better go do that before he disappears. Lately, it seems like he comes and goes like Houdini.”
Judy grabbed her drink and headed for the sliding door to the pool area.
“No air conditioning out there,” Mickey teased after her.
When the sliding door shut, BJ fanned herself, “Oo, I’ve never seen her like this before.”
“Well, life’s got in the way of their friendship. She told me not long ago that she missed him. Then today he just randomly showed up on our set, but then when we were working, he just left without a word.”
“I wonder what happened.”
“He left her grumpier than she was before he got there,” Mickey said as they walked up towards the boys.
After small talk with some people and grabbing a beer, Gene was starting to get nervous, and felt extremely disappointed when he hadn’t seen Judy around. He hadn’t even heard her laugh which you could hear distinctively from another room.
Gene walked around a bit again, in case he missed her, and walked into the back kitchen. There Mickey and B.J. were grabbing some snacks.
“Mick.”
“Yeah?”
“Say, is Judy here?”
Mickey and B.J. both shared a sly glance which Gene noticed.
“Yeah, she’s around here somewhere.”
“Oh, good. I want to talk to her.”
“About your Houdini act?”
“My what?”
“That’s what she’s calling it,” B.J. giggled.
“Judy’s calling you Houdini...you know, popping up out of nowhere then disappearing.”
Gene closed his eyes and sighed, “Which means she’s pissed.”
“She specifically told us she is not angry,” she said confidently.
Mickey bit a piece of his carrot, “She’s pissed.”
B.J. playfully hit Mickey’s chest.
“Great,” Gene said his arms falling to his sides, “Where is she?”
“She might still be out by the pool.”
“Take this door and the porch wraps around to the back by the pool, honey,” B.J. motioned with her hand.
“Thanks.”
Gene stopped abruptly when he turned the corner of the porch. The view took him back a moment. Judy was sitting down on the edge of the in-ground pool, her back to him, and she had her legs in the lit-up water. The full moon bounced off her strawberry blonde hair and the muggy air made it look as if she had an aura-type glow around her. The scenic view in front of them were mountains and houses on the hills lit up like stars all around.
“You’ve sure created a habit of showing up to places unexpectedly.”
Gene made a face, not knowing how in the hell she knew he was standing back there, when she hadn’t turned around.
“You mean in Palm Springs, on set earlier, or here at this party?”
She turned to look at him, lurking in the shadow of the porch, “Pick.”
He smiled and walked over to her.
“I’m beginning to think you’re following me,” she teased but her tone was anything but playful.
“I wish I could say that’s true, sweetheart, but I didn’t know you were out here filming,” he said taking a seat on one of the cushioned lounge chairs.
“Did you know I’d be here at this party?”
“I wouldn’t be here otherwise.”
Judy couldn’t help but smile at that truth as she pushed herself up off the ground, “May I sit?”
“Are you going to bite my head off if you do?”
“Why would I bite your head off,” she motioned for the towel that was on the arm rest next to him.
He went to hand it to her but withdrew on second thought, “Because you’re angry with me.”
“Oh, nonsense,” she said sitting down on the side of the chair, “Why would I be angry with you?”
Gene lifted one of her bare legs, in her cute, little white shorts, and started drying them off gently, “My so-called Houdini act.”
When he didn’t hear a response, he looked up at her with a cautious eyebrow. She let him dry the second leg off, but she looked irritated, “Well, you didn’t have to come and go like that. We barely said two words.”
“You were working, baby,” he said in a matter-of-fact voice.
“You could have stayed, *darling*,” she emphasized and took her now dry leg away from his hand.
“I was planning on it, but I remembered I had a conference call with the Freed unit. I barely made it back in time. I knew I was going to see you later tonight, so I didn’t think anything of it. I waved goodbye.”
“But I didn’t know you were coming tonight. That’s not fair.”
“Why are you being so defensive? I came and watched you work and we’re here together now. What is the problem,” he said getting a little impatient.
Judy looked at his eyes back and forth before her shoulders relaxed and she looked away from him, “It doesn’t matter.”
“Judy,” he took her chin to have her look at him gently.
She bounced her leg a little, in an anxious manner, while staring at him almost like getting up the courage.
“I just missed you, you know,” she said in a whisper.
“I missed you, too,” he softly said back and reached forward to kiss her on the cheek.
“You know how things have been for me and when you showed up out of nowhere, I felt...just better. And then you left so quickly. It just upset me. I’m sorry.”
“No, honey, I’m sorry. I didn’t know it would affect you like that.”
Judy sighed and smiled, “You’re here now.”
“I’m right here,” he reiterated.
They both smiled, but his wide smile, with his prominent crow’s feet and tan skin glowing in the moonlight, made her nearly blush. With him, she never concealed that.
“Golly, you’re so handsome, you know that?”
“I’m surprised you think so,” he said looking at his arm.
She looked at him shocked, “What? Why would you say that?”
“No, I don’t mean that,” he quickly retracted, in reference to them being lovers so she obviously was attracted to him, “I meant, looking like a lobster.”
“A what,” she giggled.
“Van had me out golfing with him today. I thought I was gonna get sun poisoning.”’
“You don’t look like you’ve got sunburn,” she said pressing her fingertips against the skin of his forearm.
“No, but you’ve got a little color to your cheeks,” he said rubbing a knuckle over the rosy skin.
“That’s not from the sun, pal,” she said this time plenty of playful in her voice.
“Ohhh, she flirts,” he said amused and pulled her arm to him.
Still on the same lounge chair, he let her lay back against his chest, and they cuddled comfortably.
“What are you doing in Palm Springs?”
“Relaxing.”
“You’re doing an awful lot of that now.”
“Mm, hm. I had a break from work and wanted to get away by myself, but not too far away. I was really surprised to find out you guys were here.”
“To get away from Los Angeles and then you run into a movie set and a bunch of co-workers.”
“Exactly,” he chucked, “But it was a nice surprise. I’ve been thinking a lot about you lately.”
“You have?”
“Worried, actually, you know, with what you’ve been through the past few months with work and...Dave...”
“I’m alright.”
“Are you really?”
“Buzz is no longer on this film, and I’ve moved into my own place. I’m feeling better.”
“Good,” he said, and she noticed his hold got a little tighter, more protective-like, “How’s it like living on your own?”
“It’s an adjustment, but it’s not entirely different than where I was with my husband gone touring all the time.”
“There were always people in and out there, though.”
“Yes. I’m way up in the hills now. No one comes by unless I invite them. Well, of course there’s mother, who shows up whenever she wants.”
“A visit from her is better than having to live with her.”
“Oh, golly, yes. Maybe you can come see my place sometime. It’s really a beautiful, little house up there.”
“I’m one of your invites, huh?”
There was a pause for a moment, then Gene felt her nails circle the hair on his arm, “You’re always invited.”
Suddenly the air felt thicker.
Gene was disappointed that she wasn’t facing him because he had the strongest urge to kiss her. He wanted to kiss her until she whimpered, a sound he missed. It was one of the guilty pleasures that went through his head from time-to-time. On the other hand, he was relieved that she wasn’t facing him because he knew that kissing her was wrong.
Wasn’t it?
He had agreed to their ‘platonic’ friendship after all. He had his marriage to get back on track. Of course, kissing her wasn’t anything new. Maybe he could simmer down his urge by kissing her a little bit. Oh, who was he kidding. Kissing would most definitely lead to other things. And she was single now. Would she want more from him than just sex? He knew she must be vulnerable. He didn’t want to lead her on. He wasn’t in denial of his feelings for her, but he couldn’t give her more than what they had shared before: a meaningful friendship and fun sex. God, he missed that.
Gene sighed audibly. He still loved his wife and he had a kid now. He didn’t want to jump into hot water with Betsy or down the very deep rabbit hole with Miss Garland.
“What are you thinking about?”
Gene flinched slightly as Judy’s voice brought him out of his head. He didn’t even realize that she had sat up out of his arms and was looking at him now.
Gene scratched his cheek, which didn’t itch, as a distraction, to look away from her big, searching eyes, “Stuff.”
“What kind of stuff?”
Her voice told him that she knew exactly what stuff he was thinking about but wanted him to say it.
“Nothing for you to worry about,” he said sitting up, swinging his legs over the side of the lounge chair.
“But if you were thinking about me, I think I have the right to worry about it.”
He looked at her, the vein in his temple flexing from his jaw working overtime. She could see that he had a lot to say but was almost afraid to.
“Am I right,” she insisted softly with an innocent voice, yet her eyes were seductive, “Were you thinking about me?”
He ignored her question as he stood up and reached into his pocket for his carton of cigarettes.
“Hm,” she asked standing up with him.
Gene placed one between his lips, “I’m always thinking about you, Judy,” he said matter-of-factly.
“You’re changing the subject.”
“Do you have a light,” he asked.
“I don’t. Are you going to answer me?”
Gene took the cigarette out of his mouth and his voice got a little irritible, “What do you want me to say, Judy?”
“Gene, Judy baby!”
The pair both looked towards the corner of the balcony and saw Mick standing there in the dark, “Come inside. Bob’s made us all shots.”
“No, Mickey, I can't,” Judy said with her hand on her tummy shaking her head.
“Just one,” he insisted, “It’s that SoCo shooter. Just one, come on,” he repeated before disappearing back around the corner.
“Just one,” Judy said rolling her eyes.
Gene smiled and urged her to go ahead.
The two went through the balcony doors into the house and stepped up to the mini bar where everyone was crowded around passing the shots around.
“Here ya go, honey,” Van said noticing them and handed Judy one then one to Gene, “Gene.”
“Thanks,” he said, and he did a double take as he smelled it, “What is this?”
“Amaretto and Southern Comfort,” she replied.
“Alright, folks,” Bob said over the chatter which immediately died down, “Raise your shots! Here’s to...lots of wealth and good health, lots of checks and good sex!”
They all cheered and took the shot. Gene’s eyes had met Judy’s at the last statement. He didn’t meant to, but like a magnet, their eyes just met. Hers burned through his and her little smirk spoke a thousand words. Without his eyes leaving hers, he took the shot. Nonchalantly, and a little naughty, she poured the content of the shot into the potted plant behind her.
“It’s not nice to waste good liquor,” he said quietly towards her.
“It’s also not nice to work the next day with a hangover,” she said taking his empty shot glass from him and placing it on the bar.
“Touche.”
“Darling,” she said sliding his arm through his as they started walking across the room in their own little world.
“Darling,” he mimicked.
“Do you ever think we’ll work together again?”
“I do.”
“Really?”
“I certainly hope so. You’re one of the most talented people I ever met. Plus, working with you on screen is easy.”
“That’s chemistry.”
“And timing.”
“And trust.”
“Respect.”
“Patience.”
“Fun.”
She let go of his arm as they found themselves in an empty den just off the living room where everyone was still gathered.
“It’s rare to have all of those things not just on screen, but off screen as well.”
“Yes,” he simply said and watched as she looked around the small den and noticed a door in the corner.
“The cabin I’m in is identical, but it doesn’t have a door like this,” she said and walked through the sliding door which led to what looked like a secret, little hallway leading to an outside door.
Gene followed her and shut the door behind them. It was dark except for light coming from the porch.
“Do you think we still have all those things?”
She leaned against the wall and he leaned back on the opposite wall, his hands in his pockets.
“You know I do.”
Just the sounds of the crickets were heard outside as they fell silent. He could see the side of her face illuminated as she looked away from him. Even in the dark, she looked beautiful.
“Isn’t it funny that we both ended up here in Palm Springs?”
“Coincidence.”
“I don’t really like that word.”
“Serendipity,” he corrected.
“Will you tell me what you were thinking earlier?”
“Judy.”
“Please. I want to know.”
“Why do you want to know so badly?”
“Why is it bothering you so badly?”
“Because if I say it out loud, then it’s not just in my head. It becomes reality and I’ll have to follow through with it and I don’t know if I can do that.”
“Why not?”
“Because you’re going through a divorce and physically recovering, and I don’t want to get you all mixed up.”
“Mixed up how?”
“Mixed up with how we feel about each other and what you might expect from me and what I cannot give you.”
Judy kind of smiled, “Will you let me decide that, please?” Her voice was so calm and determined, he immediately relaxed. “What do you think I expect that you can’t give me?”
“A real relationship. I know you want a happy marriage and a family and security. You deserve all that, but I can’t give that to you.”
Judy immediately stepped up to him and hugged him around the waist, placing her cheek on his chest, “I love you, you know that.”
“I love you, too, kiddo,” he said back and kissed the top of her head.
“I love how much you want to protect me,” she lifted her head to look up at him, “And you’re right, I do want all that, but I would never ask you to leave your family.”
“What *are* you asking,” he said, sweeping some hair behind her ear.
“I’m asking you to tell me what you were thinking about earlier.”
He smiled, “I was thinking about kissing you and what that might lead to and what that would mean.”
“Well,” she said backing off of him and leaning back on her opposite side of the wall, “It would mean that we were just two friends who were already comfortable together in that way, with no strings attached, who would have a good time doing things we both miss and still think about.”
Gene felt himself start to get aroused knowing they were going to do exactly what he had thought about. His stare at her was alluring and sexy, his eyes reflecting off the light from the porch. It made Judy have butterflies in her tummy...good ones...very good ones.
“Would you like to kiss me now?”
Her voice was innocent, but her expression mirrored his. He found it beautifully amusing.
Gene took a step towards her, “I’d like to do a lot more than just kiss you.”
Still, he hesitated. Judy reached forward and grabbed his shirt gently bringing him up against her. Gene exhaled through his nose as he lifted his hand flat against the wall above her head, staring down at her.
“Please,” she whispered, sliding one hand to the back of his neck while the other slid around his waist.
Gene leaned forward and barely kissed her before whispering, “We’re doing this again, aren’t we?”
Judy gave a nod before his mouth fully closed in on hers.
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