Hello!! I have a song fic request to the song Look At Me by Celtic Thunder for Vil and Epel! I honestly think that song would fit the two hilariously well 🤣
Well hello Anon! Thank you for the request, the song is absolutely delightful!
Summary: Epel comes back from Spelldrive practice thinking he could manage the ladies' attention now. Vil brings him back to reality.
Cw: Just a mother-son argument
for those who want to listen to the song at the same time
Vil sighed as Epel came back from Spelldrive practice. His clothes were dirtier than the garden, his face full of dust, and he seemed to be bleeding from his nose. Must have been another broom crash.
Epel only admired his physique in the mirror and smirked.
"Hell yeah, this will get the ladies!"
Vil raised an eyebrow then cackled at the pretentious affirmation. This was also his cue to a lecture. But Epel wouldn't have it this time.
He turned to Vil and opened his arms.
"Look at me!" He started. "I'm cool and I'm charming!" Turning back to the mirror, he took his goggles off from his head and held it in his hand. "Debonair and disarming. That's me to a T!" He continued as he passed his hand in his hair.
Vil scoffed and his eyes widened. 'Debonair'!? Where had Epel learnt that!? But said boy was back to the mirror.
"Take a look at me!" He groaned upon seeing Vil's face through the glass. "Don't need no fandangos, I got all of the angles." Epel frowned, turning back once more to Vil, "Just look at me!"
Vil shook his head. Pretentious potato. Epel had qualities, certainly, but with that attitude and that physique? He wasn't sure if ladies would really come.
With another sigh, Vil left the common room to go to his bedroom. But of course, Epel wasn't done. And Vil knew it.
"Look at me!" Epel demand.
"Look at you." Vil opened the door to his room, to which Epel followed.
"I ain't no beginner," The arguments kept coming, "I'm a natural winner, that's me to a T!"
Vil sat by his dresser and crossed his arms as Epel kept talking.
"I can sing acapella, I'm a hell of a fella!" Came with a smirk followed by an annoyed frown. "Just look at me!"
Vil laughed and stood up then leaned down, easily towering his freshman.
"You know nothin' at all about ladies," The dormleader stated, "Let me give you a piece of advice. You're headin' for nothin' but trouble, you'll be paying a hell of a price."
The fairest queen pulled his poisoned apple to his mirror. In front of the glass again, Vil placed himself behind Epel and held his chin, moving the younger's head to show him better his sullied face.
" 'Cos you think you're a bit of a killer, that the ladies will fall at your feet?" Vil cackled. "Hah!" Then his face morphed back to a scowl. "They could eat you for supper, and spit you right out on the street!"
Epel shouldered Vil off then opened another victorious smirk.
"Your resistance will crumble, get ready to rumble!" He balled his fist and punched the air. "1, 2, 3!"
Vil caught the third punch and yanked Epel close again.
Epel wasn't done. Oh no, he was far from done.
"I'm as fit as a fiddle, so let's hide it a little. Just you and me."
"It's a very bad time to be cocky, when you're out there on the pull." He waved his hand to the window then pointed a finger to Epel. "Hold your horse like a jockey. And don't rush in like a bull."
The poisoned apple crossed his arms and almost sat on the bed. Vil let out a scream before Epel could even attempt putting his butt down on the pristine bed.
"You have to be patient with ladies, and tell them what they want to hear." Vil listed as he raised his fingers. Yes, maybe Epel could reeeally use some advice. "Keep a steady aim on your target. Don't shoot like a young pistoleer!" Followed by a sigh, Vil sat Epel on his chair by the dresser and started brushing his hair.
“Take a good look at yourself, for goodness’ sake! All the ladies are laughin'! Ask yourself why.” He chastised and kept the steady brushing. “Take a good look at yourself, and you will see-” The fairest queen paused to find his words. “-a natural loser, take it from me.” He nodded as Epel gasped and fully turned his head to face Vil, but the queen only made him turn his head back to face the mirror.
“Look at me! I ain't no beginner, a natural winner! That's me to a T!” Epel was back on his first arguments. “Take a look at me! I can sing acappella, I'm a hell of a fella! Just look at me!”
Well, Vil could repeat himself to this potato.
“Take a good look at yourself, for goodness’ sake! All the ladies are laughin'! Ask yourself why.”
“Look at me! I ain't no beginner, a natural winner! That's me to a T!”
“Take a good look at yourself, and you will see! A natural loser, take it from me.”
“Take a look at me! I can sing acappella, I'm a hell of a fella! Just look at me!”
Epel glared at Vil through the glass. Vil would have to repeat himself. Again.
“You’re a natural loser-“
“Take it from me!” Vil finished with one last brush in Epel’s hair.
“Look at me!” Epel banged his hand on the dresser and yelped at the pull he felt in his hair.
“Shower now potato, no ifs, buts or ands.” Vil said with this motherly vibe he transmitted. There was no way to refuse him this time.
Here you go, dear anon. Hope you like it~