Hi Hi!!!! Sorry if you've answered this before, but I was just rereading You Are Safe Here and was wondering if you are interested in continuing it? Please ignore if you've answered this to death, i apologize, but i dearly love that series and reread it constantly!! Either way, your work is amazing and very appreciated !
Thank you so much for reaching out! I absolutely do plan on continuing all of my series, especially You Are Safe Here! My life has been a little crazy for the last year or so and, ngl, Iâve been suffering from writerâs block đ . Iâve come up with some ideas for that series though, hopefully Iâll get something out soon! Iâm so glad to hear that you like the series âșïž
i think the biggest issue with the writing of 911 is the the writers seem to believe viewers tune in for the action sequences or intense storylines, while people are actually invested in the found family of it all.
You know how the army has a âtap outâ ceremony for soldiers after theyâve finished basic training? They have to stand at attention until a family member/friend taps them in the shoulder.
What if no one showed up for Eddieâs ceremony so he just had to stand there until the ceremony was over đ
A/n: I'm so obsessed with them. Edits and fanfics aren't enough anymore, I need them on screen. Please excuse any grammatical mistakes :)
Pairing: Evan Buckley x Eddie Diaz - not pre-established
Word Count: 2.1k
Summary: Eddie almost dies again. He kind of freaks out, Buck kind of freaks out, and they finally act on their feelings
Trigger Warnings: panic attacks, shootings, blood, suicidal thoughts kind of? Ish? Let me know if I missed anything.
Eddie hopes no one finds him up here.
He knows what it will look like - his heavy breathing and shaking hands and how close he is to the edge - and knows they will panic and worry and he doesn't want that. But, he knows that one of them, probably Buck, will notice he's gone and look for him. He feels bad for making him worry and for not talking to him about this - the promise they made to each other all those years ago ringing in his head - but he shouldn't have to deal with this. He was doing okay. He hasn't had a nightmare in a few months and his shoulder, at its worst, had only been slightly sore. Christopher was happy and he was happy. He hasn't felt the need to press his fingers against Buck's inner wrist or watch his chest rise and fall from across the firehouse.
Their last call, though - it shifted everything.
They were done, just cleaning up the scene, when a loud pop echoed through the air. The heavy equipment clattered to the ground as his hands lost their strength and even though he should have been throwing himself to the ground or taking cover like the rest of the first responders around him, he turned to face the direction that he had last seen Buck in. And Buck was there, just on the other side of the intersection, his gaze already locked on him. Bobby was practically on top of him, using all his power to keep Buck on the ground. Distantly, Eddie had heard someone yelling his name but he couldn't think or move, couldn't do anything but look at Buck, and then he felt something fly past his arm and then past his ear and, finally, he had dropped to the ground, his face tucked into his elbow.
After what felt like hours, the noise stopped and there were hands on his shoulders and the back of his head and someone was calling his name again. Through the haze he had recognized Hen's voice and looked up, his eyes met Hen's terrified ones.
"Over?" he muttered. Hen nodded ad tugged at the fabric of his uniform.
"Let's get you up," she said, and her grip tightened as she helped him stand. His legs had been shaky, as if he wasn't used to standing on hard ground anymore, and just as his vision began to swim, another pair of hands was on him. He registered Chim standing on his other side now, Hen still supporting him on his right.
"You guys okay?" he asked, his voice distant. Chim and Hen shared a concerned look before turning their attention back to him. Chim's deep frown made him nervous and he felt his chest tighten. "Buck? Is Buck okay? Bobby? Is someone -,"
"No one is hurt, Eddie," Hen calmed him. "Everyone is fine. Buck and Bobby are just finishing up and then we'll get to go back to the station."
"Oh," Eddie mumbled. He tried to pull away from them, but one step without their support nearly sent his knee crashing into the pavement. Chim caught him right in time, and the two paramedics resumed their spots beside him. They supported his weight again as they led him to the ambulance.
"Guys, I'm fine," he assured them. "Let me help clean up."
"They've got it covered, Diaz. Let us check you out."
He had known Chim long enough to hear the hint of worry in his voice. Eddie narrowed his eyes at him. "Why? I'm okay?"
He didn't get an answer until after they plopped him down on the edge of the rig. He nearly rolled his eyes as they descended on him like a flock of crows, but Hen's hands were shaking. Eddie reached a hand out and wrapped his fingers around her wrist. She stopped what she was doing, took a deep breath, and looked at him.
"Your ear is bleeding," she said softly, barely loud enough for him to hear. He raised an eyebrow. Hen sighed but didn't say anything. Chim glanced at her and decided to take over.
"Shots were being fired in our vicinity and you just stood there," he said, his voice distant as he placed a blood pressure cuff around Eddie's bicep. "Everyone else was running or taking cover, but we watched you, Eddie. You just stood there, completely exposed, and we all saw the moment that the gunman started aiming for you. And even then, you barely did anything. Your ear is bleeding - that bullet was like a millimeter away from killing you."
Eddie didn't know what to say. They were all silent as they finished taking his vitals and Hen checked him for a concussion. She finished just as Buck and Bobby approached them. Hen said something to Bobby but he didn't quite catch it. He didn't really register anything until Bobby was saying his name and gripping his shoulder. Eddie looked up at him. Bobby is normally pretty good at controlling his facial expressions, but his concern was clear.
"I'm fine, cap," he had insisted ."I can finish the shift."
Bobby stared at him with narrowed eyes and Eddie hoped none of them would notice the way his hands shook or the way his breathing had gotten faster. As long as he didn't look at Buck, he'd be able to keep himself in check. After a few tense moments, Bobby nodded and told them all to start heading back to the station. He followed Bobby to the truck and Buck was right beside him. Their shoulders brushed, but neither of them spoke. Even once they took their places in the engine, neither of them said a word, but Eddie had been able to feel Buck's sharp gaze burning a hole in his head. Eventually they made it back to the station and Bobby went up to the loft, presumably to start making some dinner, and Eddie was fine.
Really, he was.
He sat next to Buck and started talking about a science project of Christopher's and he made it a point to ignore the look that Buck was giving him. He was fine when Hen and Chim pulled in, too, and when they joined them in the loft. He had been fine until he looked up and saw not just Buck, but the rest of them, too, sending worried, sympathetic glances his way, and every instinct he had was telling him to get out of there. He excused himself to the restroom, and now - now he's on the roof.
How exactly he ended up on the roof, he has no idea.
He's trying to control his emotions but the echo of gunshots is ringing in his ears and his shoulder is starting to throb and he swears he can feel sand pelting his face and his chest hurts and -
Someone is saying his name. His breathing falters and he wills everything to be silent and then he hears it again, but he can't move, can't think, can't breathe, and suddenly something is brushing against his arm, but he moves away when Eddie flinches.
"Eddie?"
The voice is softer now, more cautious, and it takes Eddie a moment to recognize it.
"Buck?" his voice comes out as a whisper. His chest heaves as his lungs fight for more oxygen.
"Yeah, Eddie," Buck says, his voice coming from behind him. "You're okay, you're at the station. Can - can you take a few steps back for me?"
Eddie thinks it's a strange request and he doesn't quite understand why Buck sounds scared, but he complies anyway. He takes a good five or six steps back and he can hear a sigh of relief. It's then that he realizes just how close he had gotten to the edge of the roof. He turns his head to look at Buck, who is moving to stand in front of him. They stay silent as they take each other in. Buck's gaze is solely on him, and it feels as if he is seeing into Eddie's very being, trying to learn him and memorize him and he's making it very difficult for Eddie to catch his breath. His ears are ringing because it is so quiet and Eddie's eyes start to burn as the moisture begins to gather in them. he takes a deep, shuddering breath.
"My shoulder hurts."
Buck's hands are on him now, gently and tentative, as if he expects Eddie to flinch again.
"my - Buck -," his voice is rough and the tears begin to fall, and suddenly Buck is pulling him closer and closer until his face is pressed into his shoulder.
"It's okay. I've got you." Buck's voice is soft and calming, despite the slight tremble to it. "I've got you."
They stay like that for a while before Eddie loosens his grip. He pulls away and Buck lets him, but his hands don't leave him, instead gripping his wrists. Buck's gaze is just as intense as it was earlier.
"I'm sorry," Eddie whispers, but Buck is already shaking his head.
"There's nothing to be sorry for."
"I - I froze."
Buck tilts his head.
"At the scene - I froze. My mind went blank and I couldn't move."
"Eddie -,"
"I almost got myself killed. Again." He gestures to the cut on his ear. Buck's eyes widen as if he hadn't noticed it before. His hand moves from Eddie's wrist to his face, gently turning his head to the side.
"Fuck, Eddie, I - I didn't realize it had...,"
"I didn't either," Eddie says sheepishly, "not until Hen told me."
Buck's eyes close and he takes a deep, slow breath before opening them again. He does that thing where he stares at him, again, and Eddie's sure that his face turns pink when he realizes that Buck's hand is still on his face. Buck seems to realize too, the tips of his ears blushing, but he doesn't move.
"You scared the shit out of me, Eds," he says quietly. "Twice today. I - I thought - I couldn't stop thinking about -,"
"Yeah," Eddie mumbles. "I don't think I could either. I - I ," he falters, his chest starting to hurt again.
"Take it easy." Buck's other hand is on his collarbone now, his thumb softly rubbing against his skin, and it gives Eddie a whole other reason to stop breathing."Eddie, breath, come on -,"
"I had to look for you."
The words come out in a rushed blur, but Buck understands him. Eddie watches the way his eyebrows furrow and the way his eyes bear into him, pleading with him to explain.
"I heard the gunshots but I didn't know where you were. I had to find you, make sure you weren't hurt."
His name tumbles from Buck's lips, his voice soft and gravelly in a way that only Buck's can be.
"I didn't even think, I just...," he trails off.
Buck inches closer to him. He stands so close now that Eddie swears he can feel his chest brush up against his.
"I looked for you, too," Buck says. Eddie's eyes widen. "And when I looked up and saw you in the middle of the street, completely exposed, I - fuck, Eddie, I -,"
Eddie doesn't let him finish. His heart is pounding as leans forward and presses his lips to Buck's. The contact lasts barely a second before Eddie leans back, and he processes just how soft those pink lips are and then both of Buck's hands are on his face, pulling him in, and their lips meet again. Eddie immediately presses further into him, his hands moving to grip Buck's hips, his fingers looping through the belt loops on his pants. He gasps when Buck simultaneously tugs the hair at the base of his skull and nips at his bottom lip. Eddie pulls Buck back but doesn't break contact, pulling and pulling until his back is up against the wall.
Eddie lasts another minute before he's having to pull away, shivering at the feeling of Buck's hot breath tickling his face. Buck tilts his head forward, resting his head against Eddie's, his hands not leaving his face, and this is the most at ease that Eddie has felt in ages.
"Eddie," Buck mumbles, his chest heaving. "Don't you ever scare me like that again, okay?"
"I'll do my best," he says, tugging at Buck's belt loops again. Buck laughs as he dips his head down to press his lips to Eddie's shoulder, his arms wrapping around his waist. Eddie leans his head against Buck's. He closes his eyes and lets himself just be.
"We should go back inside," Eddie mumbles. Buck hums.
"Probably should." Buck's breath tickles his lips. Neither of them move until the muffled sound of the bell going off reaches their ears.
"Let's go get 'em. . . cowboy," Buck says with a smirk, his cheeks a pretty pink as he backs up towards the door.
Iâm convinced that buck doesnât openly freak out about eddie moving to texas not because he doesnât want to keep him from christopher but because he knows eddie better than he knows himself and he can clearly see that eddie is borderline freaking out himself and doesnât actually want to go back to el paso and is just a father missing his son and feels like he has no other choice but to go back to the place that he tried so hard to keep christopher and himself away from.
buckâs heart is breaking (and so is eddieâs, you canât convince me otherwise) but he doesnât want to push and make it worse so heâs doing what he can to support him and have his back.
I'll Always Support You - Evan Buckley x Diaz!reader
Summary: [Y/n] finds talks to Buck about the lawsuit.
Word count: 879
Warnings: none!
Check out my other Buck x Diaz!reader works! Sink or Swim - He Was Buried
Buck is roused from his bed when he hears knocking at his apartment door. He ignores the knocking at first, hoping that the person would go away, but the knocking resumes a few moments later. A groan leaves his lips as he gets up, stretching his arms and cursing the stiffness in his leg as he walks down the stairs. He grasps the door knob and cracks the door open. His brows shoot up in surprise when he sees [Y/n] standing in the hallway, holding two cups of coffee.Â
â[Y/n]?âÂ
His breath catches in his throat at the sight of the soft, patient smile that adorns her face. He loves it when she smiles, but this is the smile that she saves for Christopher when heâs getting upset or when one of them - someone on the team - is hurt. Buck had seen this smile a lot while he was in the hospital. He doesnât like being on the receiving end of it now.Â
âHey, Buck,â she says softly. She studies him for a moment, likely taking note of the state of his clothes and hair. âDid I wake you? Iâm sorry.â
âNo, no, itâs okay,â he mumbles. He opens the door further, inviting her in. She brushes against him, linking his arm with herâs in the process, barely giving him time to close the door before he is pulled along with her. âWhat are you doing here? I mean, not that I donât want to see you - I do - but -,â
[Y/n] shushes him as she puts the drinks on the counter. She doesnât look at him at first, but when she does, she doesnât look him in the eyes. Sheâs leant up against the counter, and is teasing her bottom lip with her teeth. Buck feels his heart start pounding - she has no idea how crazy she makes him when she does that, but something is wrong here. Sheâs nervous, and it starts to freak him out.Â
âIs everything okay?â he asks her, hesitantly. After a moment, she finally looks him in the eyes. He feels his body tense up, as if preparing for the blow, but the words that leave her mouth surprise him.
âWhy didnât you tell me about the lawsuit?â
It isnât an accusation - no, her voice is too soft for it to be one. Buck feels something in him crack at the sadness in her voice.Â
âI⊠Eddie told you?â he asks her. His frown deepens when she shakes her head.Â
âHen mentioned it to me,â she confesses. âChris had a playdate with Denny.â
âOh,â Buck mumbles, dipping his head.Â
âIâve already talked to Eddie about it, Buck. But - but this happened last week. Why did you not tell me?â
Buck knows itâs unfair, but he feels anger flare in his chest.Â
âI donât want to hear it,â he mumbles, crossing his arms in front of his chest. She raises an eyebrow. âThis doesnât involve you - it just involves me and the department.â
âIt doesnât involve me?â [Y/n] echoes, pushing off of the counter. She narrows her eyes at him in an almost-glare. âIt sure as hell does involve me, Evan. My brother is pissed off at you, Christopher keeps wondering why you havenât tagged along with me, and now I know why youâve been so off lately.â
â[Y/n] -,â
âDo - do you not trust me?â she asks him. The words and the sadness in her eyes feel like a blow to his chest. âDid you think that I would be mad at you?â
âI trust you with everything I have, [Y/n],â he swears to her, taking a step closer to her. âI just - everyone else is mad at me. Bobby is mad, Hen is mad, Chimney is - Eddie is. Even Athena is mad. I just - I couldnât handle you being upset with me too.â
[Y/n] stares at him for a moment before speaking.Â
âI donât like it, and I donât necessarily agree with it,â she begins, and he lowers his gaze to the floor, âbut Iâm not mad or upset with you, Buck.â
He looks at her in surprise. She sees that emotion on his face. Her eyes soften and she closes the distance between them, running her hands up his torso, letting one tangle into the fabric of his shirt while the other moves up to brush through his hair. He immediately feels at ease, leaning down to press his forehead to hers.Â
âI love you, Buck. I know you always try to do what you think is right, and if this is what you really want to do? Iâll support you, no hesitation. I just wish you had told me.â
âI know, Iâm sorry. I should have told you, I justâŠ,â
âI know,â she mumbles, moving to press her face into the crook of his neck. âItâs okay. Iâm not going anywhere.â
Buck tries to ignore the lump at the back of his throat, but he quickly feels the tears welling.Â
âI love you so much.â
His voice is scratchy when he says it, and muffled by her hair. Her fingers dance through the curls on the back of his head, tugging on them gently.Â
A/n: Based off of "The Greatest" by Billie Eilish! Not beta read, not really proof read either, just listened to the song and had the urge to write. Eddie never dates Marisol and hasn't met Kim, so Christopher is still in LA. Critiques and suggests are always welcome!
Summary: Eddie thinks about his relationship with Buck.
Word Count: 900
Trigger warnings: brief mentions of death and loss, kind of sad.
Eddie had his realization the night of the lightning strike. Logically, he knew that he had probably been in love with his best friend for years now, but of course, it had to hit him when Buck was the furthest away from him that he had ever been. He had felt it then - the sorrow, the fear, the monumental loss. He felt it when they got Buck onto the gurney and he was able to get his hands on him and feel for himself that his best friend, the second most important person in his life, was dead. Felt it when Bobby ordered him to drive the ambulance and he had to listen to the stagnant ringing of the heart monitor. It lingered even when he felt Buck's ribs crack under his hands and felt his heart begin to beat again. Even now - two whole years later - he has his moments where a wave of grief will threaten to drown him. Sometimes it happens even when he and Buck are in the same room and it takes everything in him not to press his fingers into Buck's wrist or neck and feel for himself that he's not just a figure of his imagination.
It took some time for him to wrap his mind around it all. Not just that Buck had come back from the dead, but also that he, Edmundo Diaz, born in Texas and raised in a traditionally Catholic household, is gay. After many sleepless nights and a few long talks with Hen and Karen, he finally came to terms with himself. He had made the decision to tell Buck and he was excited and terrified all at once and with open eyes, he looked back on all of their interactions and saw it. He had been so oblivious and he just wanted to grab everyone around them by the shoulders and ask 'Why did you sit around and watch? Why didn't you tell me?'. And, honestly, he thought maybe Buck felt the same way. No one had ever looked at him the way that Buck had. He had made a plan - but then Buck met Natalia. Natalia was nice, but she kept glorifying Buck's death and resurrection and she certainly didn't see him. No one had ever seen Buck, not the way Eddie had. And when Buck had said that in the cemetery... Eddie felt that wave of loss again. He thought about coming clean again after Buck and Natalia had broken up, but then Tommy came along. Tommy was nice, too. At first, with the way that Buck was acting every time Tommy's name was brought up, he thought that maybe... hoped that he was jealous. And for a few days, Eddie felt wanted. After Buck tackled him and sprained his ankle, he was pissed, but he waited for Buck to come. He wanted Buck to walk through his front door so that he could tell him how badly he wanted to hold on to him and never let go. Eventually, he did come - only to tell him that he was going on a date with Tommy. He should have told him right then and there, but Buck was glowing. He was glowing and he looked happier than he had in a long time, so who was Eddie to disrupt that? Eddie tried to keep things the way they were between them. He didn't want to push Buck away because he loved him and because he knew that Buck would find a way to blame himself, but he couldn't stop himself from feeling hurt and disappointed.
He thought Buck had known. He really thought he had. Eddie hadn't been so sure of anything in years, but he had clearly been wrong.
Of course Buck picked up on his attitude and tried to get him to talk about it. He was subtle at first, but when he realized he wasn't going to give him a response he upped his game. In fact, Buck got so relentless that eventually, everyone in the firehouse was asking how he was and letting him know that 'no matter what, he could always talk to them'.
He couldn't stand it. Sure, he appreciated their concern, but it made his skin crawl. He just needed a break, so the next time he was on shift he asked Bobby for a few weeks off and did his best to ignore that warm, concerned, inviting expression on Bobby's face when he told him to take all the time he needed. He did his best to ignore the worried looks on Hen and Chim's faces and the hurt on Buck's.
Buck approached him in the locker room once their shift ended, asking him if everything was alright. Eddie just smiled and told him he was fine and that he just wanted to spend some extra time with Christopher before school started up again. He could tell that Buck didn't believe him, but he didn't question him again.
Before Tommy, Buck probably would have pestered him more. Before Tommy, he would have followed him home, invited himself in, and hunkered down until Eddie told him everything. Now, he doesn't do any of that. He just sent him a text, offered to call him later, and went quiet after that.
The following weeks were pretty bad. It was not awful because Christopher was there, but it was bad. He only saw Buck a few times in those few weeks and it hurt him, but being near him hurt too.
Like always, Eddie messed up. He messed up by not realizing it earlier. He messed up by taking too long to tell him. Messed up by being a coward. He needed to toughen up and live with it.
