damn your lettuce!

[storm-of-feathers]

tumblr is great bc its like a diary where I can take other peoples diary entries and glue them into my own diary

[tomb-mold]

can i come over and touch your things and belongings

[s-ol4psismmmmmmmm]

mhhmmm yea

[yuyuuyuyuu-deactivated20230726]

if anybody has beef with me, it’s one-sided. i do not care. i do not have the energy. i am tired.

[paverics]

“my father is a boy and my mother is a girl so i’m mixed” is the funniest possible response to someone asking your gender and it came from 6’5 Viking footballer and notable weird little guy Erling Haaland on a Snapchat

[paverics]

comedians can only dream of writing something this funny

[loveridden1999]

now that the world cup is out of the way can we focus on me instead

[kosmogrl]

[sylvanitchi]

looks at you like this

[fortisol]

My mom bought me a charging cable for my old 3ds 🥹🥹

[parkchanwoohoo]

[teathattast]

[molabuddy]

3 hours of sleep = i hate people who laugh

0 ours of sleep = waouw 🌼🌼🌼🌼🐎

[molabuddy]

we all need to take better care of our selfs or we might Pass away

[fairycosmos]

my dead wife. the ad free internet

[demilypyro]

it's funny how "press F to pay respects" was such a gigantic meme that it seems to have permanently affected the way we talk online. people use it completely genuinely and unironically. had a bad day? F. died in a videogame? F. I see it constantly in Discord, Twitch and ingame chats. like it's actually being used as common shorthand. when it only gained prominence because of how hilariously stupid this screenshot is

[yellow-cat]

when im 45 years old ill still be here posting like take my hand. lets go into menopause together

[thememedaddy]

[plague-vulture]

washing dishes is evil because you go "oh fuck there's so many dishes this is gonna take foreverrr" and then you enter the dish abyss and emerge with your abdomen somehow covered in water and your hands all wrinky and then you look at the clock and what felt like half an hour was actually 10 minutes