mastermind

independent and selective Artemis Fowl as written by laura. sideblog to miindframe

[killowave]

[mentosmorii]

god the inherent tension in all the books between artemis being a genius vs colfer going on weird tangents that imply his child-prodigy main character still believes in like, the geocentric model of the universe

[artemisfowlblog]

artemis: [rolls down the window] what seems to be the problem, officer?

cop: get the fuck out of my car

[artemisfowlcodex]

Artemis: I have a black belt.

Holly: In taekwondo?

Artemis: From Gucci.

[muckkles]

the first 6 artemis fowl audiobooks are on youtube for free if yall are interested

[fowliish]

Icb it is 2018 and Artemis Fowl is trending

[tanu-the-avocado]

Souvenirs from interdimensional travel.

[promptcenter]

Person A: “Do you know something I don’t?”

Person B: “I know lots of things you don’t, you’ll have to be more specific.”

[great-tweets]

oof.

[fowliish]

Anyways, if you ship Artemis with Butler you’re gross. I cant believe I have to even write that but apparently this fandom needs a wake up call.

It doesnt matter if you age Artemis up to 18. Shipping him with Butler shows that you thought this relationship that this child has with his bodyguard and father figure, a man that is canonly in his 40s when artemis is 12, was romantic in nature. Seeing it in the tag normalizes this trash for anyone that might be vulnerable, such as previous victims of csa or younger kids. Remember that this series is first and foremost for children and teens.

[arctic-n-shit]

👏

[just-misogynistic-thoughts]

I don’t know who these characters are but I don’t like people telling me what not to ship. You don’t like a ship, fine. Telling other people they’re gross or wrong for liking it= shitty thing to do.

[lilacs-in-my-coffee]

Telling someone wanting an underage boy and a grown man to have sex, so you know, rape is bad is….not a shitty thing to do. “rape is bad” is never a shitty thing to say.

Telling someone wanting an parental figure/legal guardian to prey on their former ward is bad is also not a shitty thing to do. You can’t reasonably consent under that power dynamic. It’s predatory. “Predatory men are bad” is also a pretty okay thing to believe.

You can like whatever you like. Everyone has a fucked up fantasy or two. But you have to acknowledge it’s fucked up , and yes it’s gross, and it doesn’t deserved to be “shipped” or glorified.

So yeah. Standing my ground on this one, my bro.

[fowliish]

A reminder that you're gross if you ship an adult with a minor. It doesnt matter if you age the minor up! You're the problem!

[fowliish]

Do you harass people about other ships too, or are you a baby anti?

I made that (one) post in response to actual po/rn of Arte/mis Fo/wl and Bu/tler in the main tag. You know, where kids can look? Kids being anyone under 18 in this case. Vulnerable kids being under 16. I explain why I feel that way in the post. It applies to all ships that stick an adult with a child.

Do you often harass people anonymously or are you just that lonely?

[fowliish]

Breaking news: local author’s fic gets 5 notes but their tirade about “how gross” another ship is gets over 150! Will the author’s desperate need for attention at any cost Trump their basic human decency? Stay tuned to find out!

I literally have no idea what fic you're talking about. I don't write fics?

But anyways, it's gross to ship Artemis Fowl, a child, with an adult. I dont care who that adult is. I don't care if some excuse is made to age him up.

[tsunamiwavesurfing]

when will people realize that my opinions are facts

[courtjester69420]

Happy birthday to our favourite crime boy, Artemis Fowl jr

Just an absolute bastard

[fruitsaladchewits-deactivated20]

well, well, well, if it isn’t the feelings i’ve been trying to avoid 

[fallingfrozenprince]

Helping My Injured Muse Sentence Starters

[actresque]

"Oh, God, you're bleeding. You're bleeding a lot."

"Stop squirming, I'm trying to help."

"Hang on, I got you."

"Just lean on me, I'll help you walk."

"We should get that looked at."

"Don't tilt your head back, you'll make your nosebleed worse!"

"Just sit up and breathe, ok?"

"Eh, you'll be fine. I think. Maybe."

"What ever you do, don't go to sleep. Stay awake."

"Oooooo. That looks painful."

"Oh, thank God! Don't scare me like that!"

"How the hell did you do this to yourself?"

"Hey, hey, stay with me, ok?"

"You stopped breathing."

"Oh look, it's alive."

"Take deep breaths, you'll be fine."

"Arms shouldn't move like that..."

"What happened to your leg?!"

"Yep, that's broken alright. How'd you manage that?"

"Here's some ice."

"You're welcome, by the way."

"Do you need an ice pack for that shiner?"

"Yeesh, you look like shit."

"Wait, you were mugged?!"

"Is that a stab/gunshot wound?"

"Ok, ew. I'm not cleaning that up."

"Easy, easy! Just lay down, you hit your head."

"You probably have a concussion, so I wouldn't be moving arou d too much if I were you."

"We thought you were dead!"

"On a scale of 1 to 10, how much does it hurt?"

"Can you walk on your own?"

"You're getting blood on my clothes!"

"How many fingers am I holding up?"

[literallysame]

I love making people who already hate me hate me more