I've been thinking about how Neil expresses emotion and specifically the language around him smiling throughout the series. In TFC, the first time we see him smile is during his physical with Abby when they're discussing his scars--it isn't an expression born out of pleasant emotions:
Neil's only other smiles in TFC are two he gives truck drivers when hitchhiking back from Columbia (and I suppose we could also count the one he tells himself to make before the Kathy Ferdinand interview, when he instructs his reflection to "Smile and lie"):
In TRK, there are a few more: he almost smiles at Matt's excitement to jump into the game against the Ravens, and does smile back at his teammates when they're all tired after the game--the first genuine smile we get from him:
The next two are a false smile at Riko after he threatens Neil into visiting the Nest over break and a defiant one directed at Tetsuji when he's told to kneel--both smiles used as weapons, in a way:
But the final smile in TRK is once again sincere--in fact, it feels more like an involuntary response to Neil's relief at hearing Wymack's voice over the phone after the Nest than anything--it's a result of Neil feeling, for the first time in days, safe.
In TKM, none of Neil's smiles feel like posturing in the way that the smiles at the truckers or Riko did. At various points, Neil returns smiles from Nicky and Matt, and--on three separate occasions--smiles at something Andrew does, a significant increase in quantity of sincere smiles that seems connected to the increased sense of comfort he feels around the Foxes (and especially his happiness in his relationship with Andrew):
TKM also, however, has a few of the smiles that Neil describes as his father's--the cold one that's usually worn when he feels like Nathaniel, which I assume is the same one he gave when refusing to kneel to Tetsuji. They're equally sincere, but with none of the warmth Neil has developed through being around the Foxes. There are two specific instances of this, but I would imagine it's this smile that Neil is almost able to make when remembering his father's death & the one he wishes he could give to Riko after the Foxes win in finals:
Jean includes a few descriptions of this same smile in TSC (including a mention of Neil trying to rub it away), and Jeremy mentions it in TGR as well (additionally, Jean mentions a resurgence of Neil's insincere smile when he's speaking to the waitress, mentioning how wrong it looks):
With that in mind, the final two--which I've paired because they both come shortly after the end of the Foxes-Ravens finals and Riko's death--are from the very end of TKM and about a third of the way through in TSC:
These are interesting to me because even though they seem to fit into the category of Nathaniel smiles, I think these are also genuine smiles from Neil--they're smiles of relief at not having to worry about Riko anymore, smiles that are looking toward the future. As dark as the reason behind them may be, they're smiles that are stemming from the knowledge of what the Foxes have achieved & the warmth of the promise of a future with them.
And that's it: that's all of the smiles we get from Neil Josten across the whole series. There are only a few of them, even fewer that are sincere, and only a handful that are warm or traditionally happy. But they are there, and they matter: they're another sign of Neil feeling at home. It's huge that he flashes smiles back at Nicky and Matt, that he feels safe with Wymack and simply happy around Andrew. It's a sign of Neil learning what it means to have security and a home and a support system. Equally important is the fact that the other kinds of smiles--the insincere one that's his version of Kevin's and Jeremy's media smiles and the cold one that's associated with Nathaniel--are still around. Neil settling into that sense of security isn't him totally lowering his guard or moving into unburdened contentment and peace. That's never going to be him or his life. He's always going to have his sharp edges and he's always going to be antagonistic and he's probably never going to offer the soft, happy smiles to anyone other than the people he's closest to. That's not who he is.
Anyway, I just thought it was interesting & will probably continue to have thoughts on Neil & internal vs. external expression of emotions as I reread
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