Kuroshit Sideblog in the Year of Our Lord 2023 @freckles-deserved-better - Tumblr Blog

maybe i don’t wanna beware the pipeline if i end up looking just as fabulous ;)

Aragorn

The worst thing filmmaker’s ever did was decide that because it’s called “Dracula” it must be because it’s about the actual guy Dracula and his melancholic woes and alluring world of darkness and seduction and not the fact that every single character in the book hates him. Every single worker he comes across cusses him out and tells him he’s ugly and his vibes are rancid. Jonathan Harker wants to chop him up with a machete Quincy wants to shoot him so bad Renfield wants to crush his windpipe Van Helsing and Seward and Arthur and Mina and everyone else want him dead by impalement and decapitation. It’s called “Dracula” because every single character wants a piece of that bastard.

jadedresearcher

So fun fact: At some point in my life I got it into my head I wanted to make a Highly Ambitious Sci-Fi Simulation Murder Mystery Game, where all the characters in it were fully simulated and had their little simulated goals and ANY of them could have done it and it was up to you to piece together the clues they’d naturally leave behind in the wake of their nefarious deeds to decide who actually had the means and opportunity as you slowly realized EVERYONE present had motive. Obviously, it would be a riff on Murder on the Orient Express, but that’s not important. But, when I realized that I wanted to have a SINGLE person be the target of all that aggression, I realized in my heart of hearts that person had to be Dracula. And BOY did the plot of the game write itself out at that point. So many various reasons people could want this bastard dead.

Ultimately, the ambitiousness of the simulation was its undoing: I wasn’t yet in a point in my programmer skill tree where I knew how to properly debug AI, so it ended up unfinished (and for a platform I no longer have access to, alas). HOWEVER let me leave you with my very favorite bug: Because I needed lots of reasons for characters to be constantly moving around and not just holing up in their space-train cars, they had various bodily needs, like hunger and thirst and the need to go to the bathroom, you know, normal things. Imagine my horror and delight when I was running a test game to figure out why Dracula kept Not Getting Murdered only to discover he was *LOCKING HIMSELF IN THE BATHROOM AND PISSING ETERNALLY*. Turns out I had a bug where you just...wouldn’t stop. I ALSO had a bug with the locking mechanism and people could let themselves IN but not out, so eventually the entire cast ended up there in the Infinite Piss room, unable to leave, and unwilling to murder because of all the witnesses. Hell is real and its a buggy simulation game.

disco-tea

Op I’ve been laughing at this for 5 minutes. Literally have tears streaming down my face.

jelloapocalypse

Y... you're OP.

jadedresearcher

blatantescapism

[Image description: a tumblr comment that someone decided was too good to stay in the tags:

# new rule

# if your addition to the post is funny enough you own the post now

End ID. /]

sunhowler

whoever decided to turn daisy bell into a spooky dookie creepypasta song is fucking evil. that computer was brave enough to sing us a delightful little song and you do THIS to him? thats hatsune mikus grandpa dude. fuck you

garfield-69

Miku family reunion

earlgraytay

for today's lucky 10,000, here's the song that OP is talking about

it is genuinely sweet and charming and I'm so glad to have googled it

13lizardsinatrenchcoat

The meme is funny, but Miku's grandpa (the IBM 7094) actually looked like this:

He took up 2,000+ square feet and helped with NASA's "Saturn" flights.

Look how big and clunky he is. He had to work really hard to sing that song ;_; please appreciate him.

rukafais

if you want to feel emotions here’s a combination of the IBM704 and Hatsune Miku singing Daisy Bell as a duet

mushtoons

sorry i wanted to draw miku singing with her grandpa 🥺

amarettoamorettoanisette

Detail from Lorenzo & Isabella by John Everett Millais

sophie531896273240810891

i spent $32 on this fucking bowl at the moma and at first i felt bad buying it bc it was so expensive but ive had a terrible day today and every time i look at my lil bowl im like :o) you know what. i can get through anything with this bowl by my side

sophie531896273240810891

i literally get what marie kondo was talking about now

sophie531896273240810891

bc everyone keeps requesting to see it filled :)

lew-basnight

I don’t know how long I’ve been here. Time seems to pass differently. But the place is cozy and private so I have no complaints. And whenever I’m hungry, I go outside with my bowl and walk down the hill to the shore. Sometimes the lake is made of soup. Sometimes it’s huge pasta noodles the size of barges. Sometimes it’s breakfast cereal. Sometimes it’s dumplings the size of great whales. I dip my little bowl and take a portion and carry it back up to the house.

Today I found a new bowl! In its center is a little hill with a little house. I will carry it down to the shore and fill it up, and whomever lives in that little house can have a tiny portion of my meal. I hope they have a nice bowl to put it in..

ir0n-angel

tags by @crackinglamb

redbuddi

prison of plastic is really good

elfdyke

im sick to death of the girlboss phenomenom. appreciate strugglewomen or we'll never get anything done around here

elfdyke

no more "she has the only braincell of the group". i want more women who fail at tasks that are unimaginable to fail at. we need more pathetic wet meow meows who are women. literally open your heart to strugglewomen because theyre all we have left in this fucked up world