Tutorial on Pause
Ghost updated yesterday and now what once worked no longer works so... I’m going to have the update the first post and redo it. Hey such is the nature of the internet. Meow.Â

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@freecodecamper
Tutorial on Pause
Ghost updated yesterday and now what once worked no longer works so... I’m going to have the update the first post and redo it. Hey such is the nature of the internet. Meow.Â
Classic animators doing reference poses for their own drawings. I’m in love with these images.
Part of the reason animators like to work alone, late at night when no one is watching.
Programmers also make such faces... right before bashing their heads into screens and keyboards.Â
Where Am I in General?
So I really suck at math but I really want to get into a subset of A.I. which is a dramatic and ambitious goal but a good goal to have now since a lot of people are on this journey.Â
I’m reading math books for people who aren’t mathematicians to help me understand math style thinking and they’ve been helping me out a lot even in filling in gaps with programming.Â
So... this is my plan. The M in STEM is very real and while yes, you do not know need to be a math major to learn to program, as someone who has a weird background in programming where I was exposed deep and shallow but not quite the middle... its just easier if you learn a bit of relevant math. Math feels scary, especially if you come from an American system of education because the general population isn’t really taught how to think and analyze. We are taught how to take instructions from corporate organizations. Even our greatest math whizzes are taught how to crunch numbers for banks instead of solving real problems.Â
Math requires a certain kind of thinking and its not always about exploring problems to get the perfect result. Math is really about exploring problems worthy of your time by figuring out how to ask the right questions.Â
So really I’m learning how to break down the world in order to ask the right questions. As I finish books I’ll post reviews.Â
I’m also working on building a self hosted blog for the industry I am in. I’m figuring out ui/ux stuff.Â
I’m also using the month of August to build some small projects related to the blog.Â
As for freecodecamp... after my projects in August are wrapped up I will pick it up again. These August projects have to get pushed out of my system.Â
Let’s Talk About Some Really Serious *Bleep*
If you are reading this you can look at the date of when I first started this blog. This is kind of a summary that mixes the past, the present, and stuff that has happened since I last posted. I have a lot to talk about and I really hope this helps someone out there.Â
Let me begin.
On Portals of Stability
You can’t function in this industry if you do not figure out a way to create a stable life for yourself. It does not have to be fun. It does not have to be wealthy. It does not have to be full of amazing people. It just has to be stable enough where you can focus on completing a specific goal at a specific time and not have that compete with anything else.Â
Do cats realize what they are doing? They are such hams sometimes. Also, we all have one friend who is like this in real life without the use of mind-altering substances. They were just born that way and we love them for who they are. Tumbleweed reincarnated as mammals. Yup. Tumbleweeds.Â
You have a j-o-b?
Not quite yet. I have an interview. Interviews are nothing to be excited about. Job offers are everything to be excited about.Â
I’m a motherfuckin starboy
Maroon Bells-Snowmass Wilderness, Colorado
More? Instagram & Lost Lust Supply
The thing about programming is that sometimes you think your code is faulty because it’s not producing what you expect; when that happens the first thing you should do is assert whether what you expect is what should happen, so you know if it’s your present-self or past-self that’s an idiot.
(via thethingaboutprogramming)
competitive programming?
 I heard from a dev that a good way to learn how to code practically is by doing these little code competitions online.Â
You start off sucking for a really long time but because you share what you are doing out in the open you get feedback fast. You also learn other ways of thinking and breaking down things faster because of the cycle system of the competitions.Â
Thinking about joining one of those sites but it is so intimidating. I will set a goal. If I find a site that starts off with something simple like javascript alone, I will jump in after I get at least one advanced project under my belt.Â
Dragging my feet. This is a really dark post. Don’t read if you want to be happy today.Â
Its clear to those around me that I have been barely putting in effort into making things happen faster with college. I hate college. I’m a black woman. College campuses have brought me nothing but absolute agony. Its not just a few white kids calling me nigger. Its more than that. Its physically feeling unsafe because you know your environment is not supporting you.Â
In fact when I think about it I seriously wonder if... the only reason why people of color are allowed on college campuses is to teach racists how to practice sophisticated racism. Its like they go through this process from freshmen year when they are yelling nigger and putting swastikas up all over the place to growing into sophisticated seniors who know how to play with words and inflict maxim damage. College teaches them how to be abstract with their brutality through teaching predators how to hunt. The interaction in the classroom is just preparation for the workplace.Â
and that is a horrible way to see the world. I admit this but... fuck... That is my reality.Â
I don’t want to be hunted.Â
So yeah I’ve been dragging my feet instead of trying to get it out of the way as fast as possible. This isn’t like ripping a bandage off. I have a serious fear of something horrible happening to me on a college campus because of what’s happened in the past. I know I should just suck it up but I don’t work that way. I’ve never been that kind of a person. My mind just doesn’t process pain that way. Â
If I could avoid it by any means necessary I would. I hate fucking college. I hate it. Black people don’t go to college to find themselves and experiment and explore identity. We are only there because we need some little fucking degree that serves as a passport to crack open a door a tiny bit more.Â
I know too many women of color who fucking lost their minds, full-blown breakdowns, out of carrying all of this bullshit trauma that catches up to them despite doing every fucking little thing right from degree to career to love life and they still crumble because to attempt to function in insanity IS insanity.Â
I know I am not crazy because I want to practice self-preservation. I also know I need that stupid fucked up piece of paper that says I know how to be beat up and take abuse. That’s all it fucking means. That is all it fucking means if you are not white in this world. And that sucks.Â
My Good Enough Isn’t Good Enough and That Makes Me Sad
I know I should really speak to someone about this but I am full of too much fear. When professionals repeatedly betray you who can you trust?Â
No one. Damn.Â
Tumblr’s Profile Pictures on Facebook (August 2014 to September 2016)
I love when ghost hunting shows are in a fucking ancient ruin and ask their questions in english
“what is your name” homeboy I was a viking several hundred years ago I don’t know what the fuck you’re saying
Is anyone else imagining “J.R.R. Tolkien: Ghost Hunter”
“Alright, now I’m going to try 8th century Anglo-Norse”
YES
#Hm no how about 4th century Gothic #Welsh? No? #Let’s try good ol’ Latin #this could go on and on #safe bet he wouldn’t accidentally insult the ghost’s mother or anything
Only 57.5% of eligible voters actually voted in the last election. And only 42% of eligible 18–34 year-olds.Â
Register to vote!
Did tumblr seriously just show this to me after I sent out a shit ton of emails on adult re-entry programs for colleges? Yup synchronicity just did that.Â
I hate the idea of college. I am going to need therapy to get over this. So much fucked up shit happened to me in this education system that I hate it with a passion and I know I have to let go of that hate but I also need a way to cope when I run into the bullshit that I left behind. It is even worse now than it was back when I was a student the first time around. Â
This makes me happy. I found out pumpkin puree is not pumpkin puree. Its combination of squashes puree. So next time you open up a can remember the contents might have a little bit of a few of the squashes above. Don’t believe me? Google it!Â
Twitter, or at least at the time I was there, believed that you had to go to a specific school and or work for a specific company in order to even be reached out to by the recruiting organization. The reason they have this “rubric” is because the people who are running these organizations are from those universities. They fundamentally believe that they are the best of the best because they went down this particular road and anyone who didn’t go down this road is not going to be as qualified as they are. Miley, who has been particularly vocal about the diversity issue in tech, has occupied a seat at the table in hiring meetings and has witnessed the exclusivity issue. Given the complex challenges facing young minority leaders entering that world, he posits that there is an alternative for those who are trying to launch the next multi-billion dollar tech company: Leave Silicon Valley.  'I don’t think that you [people of color] have a fair shot here; you should go start someplace else where you have more people who look like you. It’s too hard for any entrepreneur and doubly hard for an entrepreneur of color,' he advised during a panel discussion at which audience member asked what advice he would give to a Black entrepreneur trying to launch a business in Silicon Valley.
Leslie Miley, On The Importance of EntrepreneurshipÂ
Damn. He flat out said leave silicon valley if you are not white because the resources there are not for you. Taking notes. Glad he kept it real as fuck.Â