Freelance Exorcist

I swear like a truck driver. Demented and sad, but social. Overthinking FFVII since 2007. @ghostofgenerayburn.bsky.social on Bluesky. @ghostofgenerayburn.mastodon.social on Mastodon. Nothing on Twitter because fuck Twitter that's why.

[freelanceexorcist]

I don't like to drink a lot before bedtime. But I have to if I want to get to sleep with that thing staring at me.

[sephirthoughts]

you mean this thing

[freelanceexorcist]

☠️☠️☠️😂😂😂

[freelanceexorcist]

The alien ship touched down 30 years after the Earth had fallen into complete environmental ruin. The few human survivors soon realized that it wasn’t climate change that was killing them off, it was terraforming.

[misterbatguano]

This is basically the plot of the War Against the Cthorr series by David Gerrold; highly recommend.

[freelanceexorcist]

I'll check it out. Thank you for the recommendation. I'm not afraid to say i'm not as original as I thought i was.

[freelanceexorcist]

Some say the people who claimed to love you come back for you when it's your time. Go away, mom, it's not my time yet.

[freelanceexorcist]

That baby keeps my up all night with her crying. I don't have a baby.

[freelanceexorcist]

I don't like to drink a lot before bedtime. But I have to if I want to get to sleep with that thing staring at me.

[freelanceexorcist]

Sephiroth is what Eleven would have become if she'd never escaped the lab. Homelander is what Sephiroth would have become if he had never met Glenn, Matt, Lucia and Angeal.

[prismaticpichu]

Wake a sleeping Sephiroth up, and you’ll either:

• be met by a grumpy, unintelligible mumble as he rolls over and tries to reclaim the finite rest he gets.

• get punched in the face and launched through the nearest slab of drywall because years of military training and dormant alien genes make a groggy Seph not

[freelanceexorcist]

Third option: get skewered like a piece of chicken satay because he was in the middle of nightmare about either opponents trying to kill him or Hojo walking into his room.

[freelanceexorcist]

Flerken when he first came to my home:

"I'm being dropped off again. Shit. My fourth home and I'm not even an adult yet.

OK. The decor is nice and she keeps everything clean. I hope she keeps me."

OK, these are my non-negotiables...

Breakfast and dinner promptly at 6 am and 5 pm or ISTG i will push everything off of this coffee table so hard your whole family will feel it.

Me: "absolutely, boss. You run this place now."

I hope he knows he's in his forever home. I think he knows he's in his forever home if knocking everything off of the coffee table before parking himself on my head and purring like a plane taking off is any indication.

I hope it's because he feels safe here. I hope it's because he knows he's in his forever home.

Love you, bro.

[freelanceexorcist]

Saw my first “realistic live action” AI video yesterday and Jesus fuck. That shit hit the lowest point in the Uncanny Valley then started excavating. I think it was the Real Doll skin textures and complete absence of personalities and breathing that was the most unsettling.

[tifa-simp]

Vincent better spits slurs at Hojo in Revelation cos this is some genuine hate for Sephiroth right there.

[freelanceexorcist]

Pure speculation here, so take it for what you think it's worth.

Cutting for spoilers just to be safe.

Vincent seems to have a lot more hostility toward Sephiroth than he did in the OG to the point where he even expresses some regret over not taking Sephiroth out when he had the chance, which would have been when Sephiroth was just a child who hadn't done anything wrong yet (if I'm interpreting the dialogue from Rebirth correctly).

I mean, Sephiroth was so young when he left Nibelheim that he had no memory of living there, just a weird sense of deja vu, and that's the only time when Vincent would have had any contact with him. That tells me he was barely out of toddlerhood, because lasting and specific memories don't start being formed for most people until they're around 3 or 4 years old (around 2 for some people), but familiarity and habits start happening a little earlier.

What if in the Retrilogy continuity Lucrecia died in childbirth (or at least Vincent thinks she did) and he blames Sephiroth for that? Either that or he so bitterly hates Hojo that the hate extends to an (at the time) innocent child just because said child is biologically related to him. That would certainly add some complexity to Vincent's character, but I'm not so sure if that's a good thing in this case.

[freelanceexorcist]

I don't know if the external job opening on Indeed or wherever for a project manager where I work includes the following:

Must have crippling anxiety issues and a strong drive to make them everyone else's problem

Must have an alphabet soup of untreated personality disorders

Must be able to convey to Procurement the degree to which human civilization will collapse if you don't get what you want RIGHT THE FUCK NOW

Must possess the organizational and grammatical skills of a squirrel on meth

But given the state of our project management team, it sure seems like it does. Fuck these guys. Take a vacation. Go to a spa. Get a massage. Just settle the fuck down, guys.

[holidaygirlelly]

I can't imagine how empowering this moment must've been for Sephiroth. Killing the president of the company that used you as a tool and dehumanised you for your whole life with your own hands.

[freelanceexorcist]

When Sephiroth menaces anyone else, the most emotional you get out of him is a smirk. When he kills Pres. Shinra, the look on his face is one of absolute RAGE. And every other victim he lets just slide off the blade, but Shinra? He YANKED it out of him. That shit was personal.

[prismaticpichu]

Project Hail Mary x FF7 AU wherein an amnesic Cloud, after being forced into the Hail Mary mission by ShinRa’s Space Program, bonds with Eridian!Sephiroth as they journey across the solar system to stop Jenova cells from degrading the Sun.

Zack & Aerith journeyed with Cloud; they never woke up.

Eridian!Genesis, Angeal, + 20 other Eridian SOLDIERs traveled with Sephiroth; they died of radiation poisoning, plaguing Sephiroth with insurmountable guilt.

As they collect a Jenova-neutralizing antidote, (dubbed “Minerva”, Sephiroth falls into a temporary coma after saving Cloud’s life; Cloud remains by Sephiroth’s side until his friend wakes up

On the journey back to Gaia, Cloud realizes that Sephiroth’s fuel is in danger of being consumed by the antidote, whereupon he decides to sacrifice his life on Gaia to return to Sephiroth’s ship—and, by extension, his new home planet.

[freelanceexorcist]

I just watched Project Hail Mary two days ago and holy shit you just might be onto something.

[altocat]

Do you think Sephiroth cares about Hojo? What if he didn't know Hojo was his father but still considered him his father figure?

I think Sephiroth has extremely complicated feelings about Hojo. They constantly shift between fear, shame, reliance, hatred, and yes, even lingering traces of love. Or at the very least attachment. Sephiroth recognizes that Hojo is his guardian. And even acknowledges that Hojo is the only one who ever stayed or remained a consistent presence in his life. But that doesn't change what Hojo has done to him. Sephiroth will forever resent him for it.

[freelanceexorcist]

Serious Stranger Things, uh, things going on right now. Sephiroth is what would have happened if Eleven/Jane didn't escape the lab. He got the Mike/Justin/Luke treatment, but not for long enough.

[salem-witch-hunter]

Hey Tumblr! I'm back and not for happy reasons!

So this isn’t my typical fandom but I’m asking on behalf of a friend who’s in a bad situation: does anyone know of any Sephiroth shippers who have been known to harass female fans who ship themselves/their OCs with him? Thanks

[freelanceexorcist]

To answer the question, no, I have not had the misfortune of running into this type of person. My blocking hand is strong so I've probably shitcanned them already for something else.

Having said that, WTF is wrong with people that they're trawling the Internet looking for fans to harass over a goddamn ship? If you (general you, not the OP or anyone specific) can't figure out how to mute the tags for things you don't want to see, get the fuck away from your keyboard. Unless you're just an asshole who gets off on thinking you're upsetting people. In that case get the fuck away from your keyboard, get a hammer, and smash your computer to bits. And don't touch grass, either. Just go to your room and don't come out. Don't interact with anyone. Remove yourself from the equation in a non-lethal way until you're ready to act like a civilized goddamn adult.

[freelanceexorcist]

LOOK UPON HIS GIGANTIC PEETS AND DESPAIR!

[freelanceexorcist]

So some people are big mad that Travis Willingham is Sephiroth's new voice actor because they think his voice is too deep. Methinks they're to crappeth their pantaloons if they ever hear Toshiyuki Morikawa's portrayal of him. Yea, verily.