Love this book, it's a great primer on skills that aren't taught but are absolutely life changing in small ways, but they add up. It's like haggling but for all social situations. The mirroring methods in negotiation tactics helped me a lot with getting information out of abusive family members. It's also just good advice in general for social situations that need easing. A lot of examples in the book and what OP is doing here help soften situations that would otherwise be abrasive both for yourself and others. It's usually about empathy and de-escalation.
Iirc generally, the advice in this book adheres to the thought that we're social and emotional creatures. No one is rlly gonna respond to cold hard facts, nor are they gonna care much about your hard limits or offense. Some ppl want to offend, some want to prove things or are desperate for approval.
You can deal with it like op did by asking for clarification. Ppl backpedal hard when u want them to explain a stupid and reactionary thing they did! You can also mirror the last thing they said or address the elephant in the room as it were: "You think x will happen if we implement y." These are just a few methods out of the book, and they can work. It just takes time and practice, as well as understanding why they work and to what end.
Also @nightmare-from-heaven nice to see another person who's read this book! Genuinely one of my favorite non-fiction eye-openers.
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